A Life On The Ocean Wave

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 1

It was October 2007 and Reet was exhausted. She looked out of the window over the depressing, gloomy Weatherfield horizon and decided it was time for her annual three-five week break. She finished touching up her make-up and six hours later went down to the shop to break the news to her aggravation.

"You're always going away," Norris whined.
"Yer what?" Reet screeched. "They've been working me into the ground for the past two years giving me ridiculous storylines while making sure I never wed Mike Baldwin or Fred Elliott before they killed 'em off, forcing me to miss out on more inheritances. They wouldn't treat a dog they way they treat me. I need a proper break and I don't mean yer neck for once. Though that can easily be arranged too."
Norris noticed the way she was looking at him, swallowed hard and loosened his collar. "Would you like me to come with you? You know single supplements take a huge chunk out of your millions and you don't like that."
She picked up a copy of the Weatherfield Gazette and walloped him with it. "After what happened in Budapest? Do yer think I'm cracked or summat? I'd rather..." It was her turn to swallow hard as she felt the pain, "...pay the single supplement that put up with yer again."
"Suit yourself," he shrugged. "But who will you get to carry your bags?"
She was about to hit him again but stopped herself somehow. "Good thinking."
"I aim to please," he grinned.
"For a peasant," she added which made his face fall then hit him anyway for good measure.
"Where were you thinking of going?" he asked. "I've always fancied St Petersburg myself."
"I don't care who yer fancy," she snapped. "We'll have none of yer kinky ways on me trip. Yer under sufferance to do the menial tasks."
"It's a place in Russia," he tutted.
"Oh," she said. "I knew that. I were just testing yer. Do yer think I'm thick or summat?" He said nothing. "In't Russia where all them kayaks are?"
"You mean cossacks," he corrected.
"Well done, moron," she grinned. "I were testing again."
"Course you were(!)" he replied in monotone.
"Oh belt up, peasant!" she yelled, hitting him again. "What do yer want to go to St Petersburg for anyway? It's flamin' cold in Russia."
"As you already have the hat I'm sure you'll fit right in," he said. "Not to mention blubber to keep you warm," he mumbled.
"That does it!" With that she belted him with the paper repeatedly until he cried for mercy from the floor.
"Please, Reet," he whimpered. "Enough's enough."
"It's never enough where yer concerned, yer snivelling little runt," she barked before stopping.
"Thank you," he said.
"I only stopped because all this fun has given me a raging thirst," she snapped. "Now where's me vodka?"
Norris pulled himself up as she disappeared out the back. "What sort of holiday are you thinking of then?"
She returned with the bottle to her lips and guzzled as if her life depended on it. "A cruise," she told him once the bottle was empty.
"A cruise?" he asked nervously. "Can't we go to St Petersburg? All that culture."
"And all them poor Russians," she said.
"I didn't realise you cared so much about the starving millions," he replied.
"I don't," she snapped. "I'm thinking of the few billionaires about. A cruise is what I should've had last year." She looked directly at him. "Only they saddled me with yer and sent me to flamin' Budapest instead. So tomorrow we head down to Southampton. As no cruise lasts five weeks except them world ones, I've booked consecutive trips. First off it's sixteen nights in the Med followed by twenty-two to the Caribbean. If they don't want me back till mid-December then it's another twelve to the Canaries. I quite fancy going back to Tenerife."
"Wish you'd have stayed there," he mumbled to himself.
"Yer'll love it and I can get into me cossie," she continued, oblivious to his remark.
He curled his lip at the thought of her in a swimsuit. "Hang on. That's six weeks. Yer usually gone only five."
She belted him. "My show. I'll be gone as long as I want. Now get packing!" She noticed he hadn't moved. "Want me to force yer through they door head first?"
"I'm not very good on water. Can we go somewhere else?" he whimpered.
"Yer not very good on land either," she snapped.
"But I can't swim," he pleaded.
"Good," she beamed. "Perhaps then yer'll be less likely to annoy me so yer don't get chucked overboard. Get gone!"

The next day Reet insisted on a taxi all the way to the Mayflower Terminal from Weatherfield. Norris had been ordered to stay silent or else during the entire journey. As the driver turned into Dock Gate 10, Reet leaned forward.
"There's our ship, peasant," she beamed. "Aurora. Named after a goddess they say. I should have been called Aurora seeing as I'm a goddess. Think it's too late to change me name?" Norris rolled his eyes and said nothing. Reet scowled and whacked him with her carry-on bag. "Oi! I'm talking to yer. After I were nice enough to let yer come with me after what happened in Budapest last year I expect you to answer me."
"Oh you're letting me speak now, are you? How considerate(!)" he replied.
She whacked him again. "Less of yer lip, peasant. Remember yer on a promise."
Norris swallowed hard, eyes wideneing as all sorts of nightmarish thoughts ran through his head. "A promise?"
"That's right," she nodded. "I promise to chuck yer overboard if yer don't behave and treat me with the respect I deserve."
He breathed a huge sigh of relief, though being thrown overboard would have been a better option to what he had imagined. "I'll do my best."
"Yer best in't good enough, moron!" she yelled as the taxi pulled up. "Ah we've arrived. Pay the man, peasant." And with that she got out.
"How do you stand her?" the driver asked.
"I have no idea," Norris said despondently.
"If she was my wife I'd have divorced her years ago," he remarked.
"Oh, we're not married," Norris quickly corrected, sweating profusely at the thought of putting up with her 24/7.
"Oh," was all the driver added.
"No, you've got the wrong end of the stick," Norris pressed. "We're partners."
"Yeah, that's the new terminology for it," the driver replied.
"Business partners," Norris stressed urgently. "Will you accept a cheque?"

After the porter had struggled with all Reet's antiquated steamer trunks housing her sparkley jumpers, tents, sequinned eveningwear, extra make up and hairspray, he took Norris's tiny case and placed it on the top before they went to check in. As Reet had booked the Piano Suite rather than Library Suite because she hated books since her relationship with Anthony Stephens due to the musty smell reminding her of him, she had priority check-in and embarkation. She had reluctantly let Norris share her suite to save money. He began to have palpitations at the cost.
"Is this going to be expensive?" he asked warily as they queued at security.
"Oh stop yer whining," she barked. "I'm offering yer a trip of a lifetime so be grateful!"
"Only if you paid for it," she remarked.
She turned round and hit him round the head. "One more crack like that and I'll make yer pay me share an' all."
He closed his eyes, sweating profusely as images of being thrown in jail for not being able to pay his debts and becoming someone's plaything went round his head. "Couldn't you have gone for something cheaper?"
Her outburst was saved by the scanner. She walked through, picked up her bags then grabbed his arm roughly as soon as he came through. "Do yer really expect me, the greatest person to ever live, to slum it in a common balcony cabin?" she hissed angrily, giving him that look which made him desperate for the toilet. "Now carry that and belt up," she added thrusting the carry-on bag forcibly into his stomach, winding him then stomped to the departure lounge. Her eyes widened when she saw a bar and a big grin broke out on her face. Norris thought she looked like some sort of grotesque Halloween mask but kept his opinion to himself. She plonked herself down. "Go and get us a drink," she ordered. "I'll have a quadruple vodka and tonic. Splash of tonic. Don't want to ruin the flavour." He put the bags on the chair and did as instructed while she looked smug. He really wished he could wipe that grin off her face but knew it would lead to more violence if he tried. After he'd got to the end of the queue he finally returned. "Yer took yer time," she growled, snatching it from him. "Me mouth's like sandpaper. Do yer want me to get dehydrated and die?"
"Wish you would," he mumbled.
She belted him. "I heard that, peasant! Yer on dangerous ground." She downed the drink, gave him back the glass then got up and wandered over to the picture window. She gazed dreamily at the bow of Aurora with thoughts of any single rich passengers onboard or main crew like the captain. She was brought out of her reverie of free cruises for life by a boarding announcement. She marched over to Norris and pulled him up by his ear. "Come along, peasant. Walkies! This is where the fun begins!"
"Depends on your definition of fun," he responded grumpily.
"This," she grinned, walloping him around the head several times. "Now pick up them bags and let's get on. There's me dinner to get before they condescend to let the greatness that is Reet Littlewood-Fairclough-Sullivan into her suite. Maybe I should've told 'em they had a Megastar aboard." She shrugged. "Oh well. Plenty of time for them to find out and worship at me corns. Get a move on, peasant!" She was growing increasingly impatient so grabbed his tie and dragged him through the doors and towards the escaltor. He almost lost his footing trying to get on, not that she even noticed. As they made their way along the gangway, Reet watched the gleaming white 76,000 tonner get nearer, beaming and puffed her chest out as far as she could at the thought of hopefully snaring another bank account to add to her collection. Norris knew there would be hell to pay if she came away disappointed and would take it out on him. As they neared the Deck 5 entrance, Reet looked through the windows at the sea between the ship and dock and her excitement grew. "Not long now, peasant," she grinned. "And if yer suffer seasickness or do owt to ruin me holiday yer'll be sorry!"
"What's new?" he grumbled and began to feel queasy at the sight of water between the ship and dock.
After having their picture taken at security they emerged at the bottom of a staircase which housed a 35 foot sculpture of the Goddess Aurora complete with running water spanning four decks. Norris was less than impressed and wished she'd left him to run the shop instead of Ken Barlow.
"Ah," she sighed, gazing up at the statue. "Just think, peasant, if I'd been called Aurora that would've been of me." Norris rolled his eyes in silence. "Imagine that. Me image going round t'world with umpteen millions looking adoringly at me."
"You're certainly old enough," he remarked. She slowly lowered her head, turned, glared at him with hooded eyes. He knew what was coming next. "Ow!" he yelped as her handbag connected with his head. "What have you got in there? Bricks?"
"Just me make-up, peasant," she growled.
"What? Cement?" he chuckled. "Ow!" He decided to change the subject. "I'm hungry. I heard someone say we can get lunch at the Orangery."
She was about to yell but her stomach rumbling stopped her. "Where's this food?"
"I told you," he said. "Orangery."
She hit him. "I'm not deaf or stupid, yer know. I heard what yer said. I want to know where it is? Cos if yer think such greatness as me will go up t'stairs, yer've got another think coming unless yer wanna carry me."
He grimaced at the thought of breaking his back trying to lift her even an inch so went to find a deck plan. He returned. "Deck 12 on the Lido Deck next to the Pennant Bar."
Reet's eyes lit up. "Bar? What yer moaning about grub for? Take me to the vodka, peasant!"
"But, Reet," he whined, "I'm hungry."
"Tough!" she yelled. "I'm the star and I want a proper dinner. Come on!"

At 2pm there was an announcement the cabins were now available. Reet had used the lift to go down the two decks to Britannia while she made Norris use the stairs. She was not happy. The Pennant Bar had been at the stern while the suite was as far forward as you could go. "Should've forced the little runt to carry me greatness," she grumbled to herself as she made her way down the long corridor. Once she finally reached the end she slumped against the door to get her breath back. "I need refreshment," she puffed. "Miserable beggars confiscating me provisions till the end of the cruises. I really must tell them they can't treat a Megastar this way. I'm not a peasant after all." She summoned up all her energy to delve into her back, dug out her key card, put it on the slot and opened the door. Once in she beamed at a corner sofa as she staggered over and collapsed on it, panting heavily. She closed her eyes. "Peace at last." They snapped open after a few minutes when she heard the door open. "Damn. I knew it were too good to last."
"Ah, there you are," Norris said as he put the bags down.
"Stating the flamin' obvious as usual, peasant," she said, too exhausted to yell.
"Where's my bedroom?" he asked. She weakly raised her arm and pointed. "I don't see a bedroom," he noted.
"That's because t'only bedroom is up them stairs, moron," she barked, still quite breathless.
"What are you pointing at then?" he wondered.
"See that piano?" she replied.
"Yes," he said warily.
"Yer sleep under them stairs next to it," she ordered then her arm fell heavily.
"Are you dead?" he asked hopefully.
"Soon as I've recovered from the exertion yer'll soon find out," she warned.
He swallowed hard. "Knew it was too good to be true," he muttered.
"Oh shut yer face, peasant!" she barked.
"Where's the bathroom?" he asked, surveying his surroundings.
"Why?" she hissed, scowling.
"Do I have to draw you a diagram?" he tutted.
She slowly pushed herself up. "If yer think yer going to use mine, yer cracked. Use one on t'ship. There's plenty. See up there?" She pointed to the level at the top of the stairs. He nodded. "That's out of bounds. Everything up top from the stairs is. Got it?"
"Whatever you say," he sighed.
"I do," she growled, flopping back down again. "Now leave me. Wake me when I have to go to that tiresome lifeboat drill."
"I'm surprised the belt's big enough to tie around your waist," he commented before noticing that look again and hot-footing it out of there.
"Peace at LAST!" she sighed, grinning again before going to sleep.

To be continued.....

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 2

Lifeboat drill went without a hitch, though she often felt like throttling Norris with his life jacket. It was nearly 5pm and time for sailaway. Reet dragged Norris on deck so he could pay for the drinks. She decided she wasn't going to knacker herself so went straight up two decks to the Riveria pool where she grabbed a lounger. When the waiter came over, she ordered the most expensive drink she could think of while he reluctantly signed for it to be added to his onboard account. One of these days he would get even with her, he decided. She listened to the strains of the band on the quayside and sighed inwardly. Thirty-eight days to find me a mug, she thought to herself. She glanced over at Norris. Unless he puts the kibosh on it, she went on as she pursed her lips.
"We're moving!" Norris observed as the cranes began to get further away from them. His stomach started to do somersaults. Bad enough in Budapest and at the shop with her. At least there was some escape. The only way to get away was jumping overboard and he didn't fancy that.
"At last!" she beamed as she got up with her glass. "Move it, peasant." She went up the steps to the Sun Deck and leant on the rail. Norris lamely followed. Aurora's loud horn behind them blasted three times with another for good measure making Norris jump. She was getting excited now. "Just think, peasant," she said. "All them ports and all them rich men to track down. There better be some on the ship or I'll get mad."
"And take it out on me as usual," he grumbled.
"Of course!" she beamed. "After all, that's what yer were put on this earth for." She looked at the surroundings. "What the heck is that hideous thing?" she wondered, pointing to what looked like a silver Millennium Dome with a pipe sticking out the top.
"Search me," he shrugged.
"It's Marchwood incinerator," a young redheaded woman replied.
"Thank yer," Reet smiled. "Yer local?"
"Yes," she replied. "I live over there," she pointed to the far distance. "My dad's down the marina to see us off. This is my friend Amy. She's come over from LA. I wouldn't have been able to afford a balcony with the single supplement so I was glad she won the lottery and was able to join me so we decided to do six months of cruising to see the world now she can afford the bill."
"Oh I know what yer mean," Reet sympathised. "They like to take our precious money any which way. If it weren't for the peasant here I wouldn't have been able to come."
"With your millions?" Norris snorted. "You just wanted to save some money as usual because you're tightfisted."
Reet belted him, careful not to spill her drink. "Ignore him. He's an idiot."
"So I gathered," the woman laughed. "Well we're passing Mayflower Park so time to get to the cabin so my dad can see us on the balcony when we reach the marina. Nice talking to you."
"Yer too," Reet smiled.
"And don't forget to wave as we near Calshot," Amy added. "Our friend Pam's on webcam duty and unless there's an ass moving the cam around she should get some close ups. Catch you later."
"Will do," Reet said, confused as they walked off. "Webcams? More nuts! I hope this ship isn't full of more like that or I'll demand a refund." At that moment someone bumped into her making her spill her precious drink. "Oi!" she yelled, wiping it off her brand new tent. "That better not stain."
"I do apologise," a woman in her late fifties with greying hair replied. "Let me get you another. What was it you had?"
"Quadruple vodka," Reet beamed. "Ta."
The woman's eyes widened. "I'll just go and see about it."
"Weren't that a lovely gesture?" Reet said.
"Anytime anyone pays is a lovely gesture to you," Norris remarked. "Ow!"
"And don't bother asking what that were for," she warned.
"I don't need to," he whimpered, rubbing the latest lump on his head.
"Here we are," the woman said breezily as she handed Reet her fresh glass.
Reet had to stop herself snatching the enticing brew out of the stranger's hand, a gesture Norris didn't fail to miss. "Ta," she beamed before downing it in one.
The woman was stunned. "Enjoyed that, huh?" Reet nodded. "Well I'd better make tracks. Got to get ready for dinner. See you around."
"Bye," Reet smiled. "And thanks for the drink."
"Don't mention it," the woman said then glanced at Norris and smiled. "Look why don't we all meet up later in the Crow's Nest?"
"We'd love to," Norris replied.
"That will be nice," Reet replied frostily.
"Are you early or late sitting?" the woman asked.
"Early," Norris piped up. "But Reet's decided to have it on the balcony."
"Okay. About nine?" the woman replied.
"Sounds good to me," Norris said, quite taken with the stranger. "Doesn't it, Reet?"
"That'll be fine," she forced another smile as inside her blood pressure was rising.
"I'm Katy, by the way," the woman told them. "See you later."
"Bye," Reet said then belted Norris again.
"What was that for THIS time?" he whined.
"Arranging to meet complete strangers," she barked. "I make the decisions round here, peasant, and don't yer forget it!"
"I thought it would be nice to meet our fellow passengers," Norris defended. "After all, she didn't have to buy you another drink."
"If she hadn't volunteered," Reet snarled, "I'd have insisted."
"Besides," Norris went on, "I think she fancies me." Reet burst out laughing. "There's nothing funny about that. Look at it this way. If Katy and I got together that would mean me being around less to aggravate you."
Reet thought for a moment. "Yer have a point, I have to admit. But won't be making a habit of it! Okay, peasant. We'll go and meet her. Then I'll leave yer to it after an hour. Need to find me another hubby which is far more important than watching yer two slobbering over each other."
Norris felt pleased with himself. He hoped this was the beginning of a beautiful friendship then he could get as far away from Reet as humanly possible.

Reet enjoyed her dinner, though it had been too chilly on the balcony so she ate at the dining table instead, throwing the occasional scrap to Norris who was forced to sit on the floor and beg. She picked up the copy of Aurora Today to see what there was to do that evening. "Oh look at this," she grumbled. "There's an excellent show in the Curzon Theatre which clashes with yer date."
"You could always go to the late show instead," he suggested.
She glared at him. "I don't see why I have to go at all!" she shrieked. "This were all yer idea and I got pushed into it. Any more tricks like that and yer'll be pushed overboard so yer and this bag better get on or yer'll regret making me suffer out of yer desperation for a leg over."
"Do you have to be so crude?" he tutted.
"Would yer prefer a clout round t'head?" She raised a hopeful eyebrow.
"I'll meet you in the Crow's Nest," he said then bid a hasty retreat.
"Coward!" she called after him then laughed. She climbed the stairs and squeezed past the bed to the bathroom. "Why do they have to make the upstairs so flamin' small?" she grumbled to herself. "Think we're all stick insects and not a fine figure of a woman like me?" She strained to lift her vanity case and lugged it into the bathroom. She put it down and noticed for the first time a phone on the wall in the reflection. She turned to look closer. "Call the butler?" she laughed. "Well he's so dishy he can scrub me back any time. Wonder if he's gay? Bet he is even if he had millions from grateful passengers. Just me luck." She pulled a face. "Oh I dunno. Perhaps he's never had a real woman before so I can convert him. Hmm. Sounds a great idea. Not on t'first night though. Don't want to come across as too desperate like the peasant." She returned to the mirror and opened the case, sighing heavily. "What am I doing this for? I'm the boss and he thinks he can tell me what to do. Serve him right if I don't bother going and see that show instead. I could do with a laugh at all them amateur singers. Perhaps I ought to tell the cruise director there's a real singer in his midst. Wonder if he's married? He'll most likely be gay an' all! Oh well. As long as I don't have to put me hand on me card to pay for the drinks I suppose I can put up with it for a while. Have to appear gracious, don't I? I didn't get to where I am today by being part of the me, me, me brigade." And with that she started to put her face on.

Two hours later Reet arrived at The Crow's Nest and looked around for her underling and the annoying passenger. Finally she spotted them, took a deep breath then went over to their table. "Sorry to have kept you."
"I was beginning to think you weren't coming," Katy said. "Though your husband has been very good company."
It was a good job Reet didn't already have a drink or she'd have choked. "He's not me husband," she spluttered. "Do yer think I'm desperate?"
"Oh," said Katy, feeling embarrassed. "I apologise." She smiled at Norris.
Norris reciprocated, sure he was onto an escape route from Reet now. "We're business partners," he explained. "But she dragged me along to keep her company. Ow!"
"He likes it rough," Reet advised. "Don't let him pretend otherwise. He's a masochist really. Gets off on pain. Only thrill he gets these days."
It was Norris's turn to nearly blow a fuse. "Only thrill you get more to the point." He turned to Katy. "Don't believe a word she says. You've seen the way she treats me after all these years of loyal service."
"Ha!" Reet snorted.
"She's always had a sadistic streak," he continued, trying his best to ignore Reet. "I have heard tales of how kinky she can be in the..." He screwed his eyes up as he forced out the words. "Bedroom."
"Yer what, peasant?" Reet screeched as she hit him with her handbag.
"Ken Barlow told me if you must know," he defended.
"Well someone had to do summat to make his so-called love-making enjoyable," Reet said, shuddering at the memory. "Yer have him and yer'll soon find out. Beats me why Deirdre keeps going back to him. She must have had better surely. Now put a sock in it. I don't think Katy here wants to here all about yer fantasies."
"On the contrary," Katy said. "I think it's quite amusing. Is he always like this?"
"More than yer'll ever know, love," Reet nodded. A waiter finally came over. "Quadruple vodka."
"I'll get it," Katy quickly told her as she got her card out. "Norris?"
"Another orange juice please," he said solemnly.
"No booze?" Reet asked surprised.
"I need to keep sober so I can keep my faculties around you," he sniffed.
"It'd work if yer had any faculties to begin with," she retorted.
Katy laughed, which Norris didn't think was very nice. "I'll have another lager." The waiter left.
"I must say," Reet said, "I do like yer outfit. Everything matches."
Katy looked down at her ensemble. "I hate uncoordinated clothes. You should see the number of handbags and shoes I have just on this trip. I love shoes and handbags."
"Like she loves her tents. I'm surprised the suite's big enough to fit all of them in," Norris quipped leading to another wallop.
"Got a nice suite then?" Katy asked.
Reet nodded. "You?"
"Library suite," Katy replied. "I wanted the piano but it was already taken and I hate books unless they're on shoes."
"Not that keen on books meself," Reet added.
"Isn't that the one we're in?" Norris wondered.
"Yes," Reet replied. "Sorry about that."
"Doesn't matter," Katy dismissed.
"You can come and have a look at it if you want," Norris offered, his tongue practically hanging out.
She noticed Reet's expression. "I'd like that but there's no hurry. Still be there in a few days or a week."
Reet smiled at her in appreciation though was coming to like this woman. Maybe she'll be good for the peasant, she thought as the drinks came. "Cheers."

To be continued...

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 3

The cruise continued and while Norris was still hankering after Katy, Reet slowly dropped her hostilities and started to enjoy her company. After leaving Southampton four days earlier there was finally sight of land as they approached Palma. Normally Reet wouldn't deign to rise before at least noon but on this day she and Norris had arranged to meet Katy for breakfast to watch them arrive. Reet gagged when Norris came over. "Yer've gone overboard with the aftershave, haven't yer?"
"Is it too overpowering?" he frowned. "I don't want Katy to run a mile."
"Go and wash some of it off," she ordered. "Ah, not up there. What have I told yer?" She followed him out of the suite, door closing automatically behind her. "I'll meet you by the Crystal Pool. Hurry up. Yer don't want to keep the future Mrs Cole waiting."
"I'll be as quick as I can," he grinned.
She grimaced at the image which that minute popped into her head. "I'll give her an excuse." With that they went their separate ways. After a while, Reet arrived at the rendez-vous. "Good morning, Katy. Sleep well?"
Katy nodded. "It's easy to with the rocking."
"It certainly is," Reet agreed. "Norris is still getting ready. I think he spilled a bottle of aftershave over himself."
Katy laughed. "He's certainly going to a lot of effort. Fancy a walk around the Sun Deck while we wait? Should be seeing Palma about now."
Reet smiled. "Why not? Who knows how long the peasant'll take and the sea air will help the appetite." Reet followed Katy towards the Riviera Pool then up the stairs.
"There's land," Katy said, pointing to the island getting closer.
"Do yer like Norris?" Reet wondered.
"Yes I do," Katy nodded. "I take it you don't."
"Whatever gave yer that idea?" Reet guffawed. "He's certainly taken with you."
"Thought he might be," Katy observed.
Reet stopped and closed her eyes. "Oh no."
"What's up?" Katy asked, full of concern.
"Then two," Reet answered, pointing to the young redhead and her American friend from the sailaway. "Barmy the pair of 'em. Listen."
They both stood far enough away to be able to hear the conversation and tried not to laugh.
"Wow look at that!" the redhead screeched. "Three of them here already."
"Pooooooooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrn!" the American practically drooled.
"Yeah, even if it is two scary Aida's with their enormous gobs and the silly idiot grin on the Thompson," the redhead replied flatly.
"Hey, porn's porn," the American admonished. " No matter how ugly it is. Well except smellies and uglies of course. Thank God we won't be seeing any of those on this trip."
"Not till we get to the Carib anyway," the redhead reminded.
"I feel sick now," the American said. "Good job I haven't had any breakfast or I'll be seeing it again. There's no smellies, are there?"
"No," said the redhead as she got something out of her pocket. "Here we go. Norwegian Cruel in St Lucia. That's the lot. We avoid the rest."
"Good," the American grinned. "So which are these again? You know I'm a stupid American."
The redhead laughed as she checked the paper. "AidaVita, AidaAura and Thompson Celebration."
"Oh so that's Colonic Irrigation," the American realised. "I see what you mean. Bad enough in pics and webcams but worse in real life. At least we're on a pretty ship."
"While them three can grin at each other," the redhead giggled. "Got the camera ready?"
Reet sighed heavily. "I cannot believe I'm going to be stuck with those sad cows right through the Caribbean as well. I know they said summat about six months cruising but I didn't think it would be consecutive."
"I'm doing the Caribbean too," Katy pointed out.
Reet beamed. "That will make it more tolerable."
"Ah there you both are," Norris panted. "I've been searching the entire ship for you. Are we there yet?"
"Not quite," Reet replied.
"Shall we go and get breakfast?" Katy suggested.
"Good idea," Reet smiled. "I don't think I can stick being around them two loonies without an urge to chuck 'em overboard."
"Makes a change from it being me getting on your nerves," Norris noted. "Ow!"

The cruise sailed on to Cephalonia and Dubrovnik before arriving in Venice. Again the friends were out in force this time to drool over something called Zenith and Kristina Regina. Reet had been glad that apart from port days if there'd been anything else in, she never saw them. "So what are you planning to do today, Katy?" she asked over breakfast
"I thought of taking a gondola," she told her. "Fancy it?"
"I wouldn't mind," Norris interrupted.
"Great," Katy beamed. "The more the merrier. Reet?"
"Not for me," she said, shaking her head.
"Good idea," Norris said. "Don't want it sinking as soon as you stepped in. Ow!"
"Now, Norris," Katy chastised. "What have I told you about being so cruel to Reet?"
"She is to me," he defended.
"That's beside the point, peasant," Reet snapped. "Yer two go and have fun."
"Will you be okay on your own?" Katy asked.
"I'm used to it," she said. "Besides I could do with the peace," she added, glaring firmly at Norris with hooded eyes.
Katy stood. "Enjoy your day. Come along, Norris."
"I will," Reet beamed. "Enjoy yers an' all and try not to push Norris in the canal."
"I'll try not to," Katy laughed much to Norris's chagrin.
"Do you always have to belittle me?" he said seriously.
"Yes," she grinned. "Ta-ta." She gave a little wave and he followed Katy in a huff.

Shortly before the 6pm sailaway there was a knock on the door.
"Get that, peasant," Reet barked from the bathroom.
Norris went. "Katy!" he cried joyfully. "How lovely to see you. Do come in."
"Thank you, Norris," she smiled sweetly, stepping over the threshold and brushing past him.
He felt a tingle run down his spine but tried to control it. "It's Katy," he called up.
Reet came out of the bathroom and leant over the rail to look at the bottom level. "Be with yer in a minute. Just redoing me face."
"Which could take hours," Norris said softly in Katy's ear.
"I heard that, peasant!" Reet snapped. She looked round, reached for her hairbrush and threw it at him. "Yes!" she breathed, punching the air as it successfully met its target.
Katy stifled a laugh as she watched Norris rub his newest bump. "You look fine, Reet. I just wondered if we could have a talk, that's all." She turned her attention to Norris. "In private."
Norris looked disappointed. "You don't want to talk to me?"
"I can hardly do that when it's about you now, can I?" she winked.
That got his hopes up. "I'll be on deck watching us leave when you've finished."
"Thanks, Norris," Katy said before kissing his cheek. "Much appreciated."
Norris blushed. "See you later I hope." He backed up to the door.
"Look forward to it," Katy smiled as she watched him leave.
"Has he gone at last?" Reet asked. Katy nodded. "You may as well go onto the balcony down there. Won't be long, no matter what that idiot says."
Katy did as instructed and had to admit this suite was nicer than hers. She made her way round the piano, opened the door and sat on one of the white chairs. The sun was beginning to set in the mild evening. After a few minutes she heard the balcony door open. "All done?"
"Yes," said Reet, "and I ordered some booze through the butler. Had to go on me account but I can always get that back from Norris at a later date."
Katy laughed. "You're a woman after my own heart, Reet. Far too many people expect people with money to pay for things when it's not natural."
Reet poured the champagne and handed a glass to Katy. "Amen to that!" They both drank. "Did yer enjoy the gondola ride with Norris?"
Katy rolled her eyes. "I see what you mean about him. It really was difficult not hurling him overboard."
"His heart's in the right place," Reet conceded. "Pity the rest of him is a pain."
Katy laughed as Aurora blasted. "We're leaving."
They both got up and leant on the rail as the ship slowly pulled away from the berth and headed back into open water. Katy noticed how the sun made Reet's hair glow more orange than normal then suddenly planted a smacker on her lips making Reet drop her glass in shock. Reet pulled away.
"If you're expecting me to apologise I'm not going to," Katy told her defiantly. "I've been wanting to do that since we left Southampton."
Reet was stunned. "But Norris..."
"How else was I going to get close to you?" she explained. "I could see how much you didn't want my company as soon as he agreed to meet in the Crow's Nest that first night."
"You used him?" She was aghast and found herself doing something she never would - felt sorry for him.
"Of course I did," Katy said. "I love you, Reet, and I want you."
"Don't be ridiculous," Reet snorted nervously, unused to being propositioned by a woman. "I know what yer really after. It's me cash. Well yer not getting one penny of that. Do yer think I were born yesterday?"
"Hardly!" Katy laughed while Reet bristled at the insult. "Besides, I've got more money than I can count so what would I want with yours?"
"I only have yer word for that," Reet said, wishing she would leave her alone.
Katy took her hand and moved closer. "I know you want me too, Reet," she said in hushed tones. "I can feel it every time you look at me."
"Don't be ridiculous," Reet scoffed. Katy kissed her passionately again. Reet pushed her off and slapped her. "Get out!"
"You don't mean that," Katy said confidently. "Stop denying your feelings, Reet."
"I'm denying nowt," she snapped, face flushed more than when Norris pisses her off. "I want yer out of me suite and I never want to see yer again on this cruise."
"Bit difficult when it's not that big a ship," Katy pointed out.
"It's big enough for yer to get lost," Reet snarled. Katy moved towards her once more, determined to get Reet to see sense. "Yer try it," she warned, her eyes firey with rage, "and I won't be responsible for me actions."
Katy held her hands up, conceding defeat. "Okay. You win. I'll go."
"What about Norris?" Reet suddenly remembered.
"What about him?" Katy asked.
"Is that all yer've got to say?" she said. "After playing with his emotions like that?"
"Why not?" Katy shrugged. "After all, you played with mine. Goodbye, Reet."
Reet watched her go, waited a few minutes then slowly walked back into the cabin and down the stairs just in case this rampant lesbian was hiding in a corner and going to jump her. She flopped on the sofa and sobbed with relief it was all over but then worried what Katy would tell Norris because the last thing she wanted him to do was get the wrong idea.

To be continued...

[RitaLittlewood]

There is more. This is a little taster. I'll have to take it with me tomorrow and hope to get it finished over the next week. But the next part's coming soon.

Patsy

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 4

After a couple of hours, Norris returned and noticed Reet seemed down. "Everything all right, Reet?"
"Fine," she lied. "Have fun?"
"I most certainly did," he grinned as he admired himself in the mirror and slicked back the remaining hair on his head. "I just came back to freshen up. Katy's meeting me in Carmen's. She really is such a wonderful woman. I'm glad she bumped into you now otherwise I'd never have met her."
"Did she tell you what we talked about?" Reet asked cautiously, afraid of the answer.
"She most certainly did," he said. "No secrets between us." Reet held her breath. "I'm so glad you've given us your approval, Reet. As I said, it will keep me out of your way. Also give my bruises and bumps a chance to heal before the next onslaught." Reet exhaled silently with relief. "I'll see you later. Don't wait up!"
"I won't," she assured. "Have fun."
"I certainly will," he smiled. "Goodnight." With that he let himself out and she decided to go to bed.

Reet shut herself in the suite for days not caring they'd arrived in Split ot Corfu. The only words she uttered had been, "Did those two nuts have orgasms over ships again?" to which Norris had told her they had. Something called Silver Whisper in Split and Splendour of the Seas and Arion in Corfu to which Reet was completely disinterested although he had to admit he was becoming quite keen on these various ships in their ports of call after chatting to the girls. It was now two days until Gibraltar and Norris was beginning to worry about her. She hadn't abused him once since the chat with Katy and it bothered him. He decided to do something about it.
"Just going to the bathroom. Try out your jacuzzi. I've been dying to since we came in here," he teased as he started up the stairs.
"Oi!" she yelled. "What did I tell yer?"
"I know what you told me, Reet," he said patronisingly. "But as there's nothing you can do about it I thought I'd give it a go."
She got off the sofa and grabbed him tightly round the throat. "Have yer got a death wish or summat?"
"I thought that'd do the trick," he croaked, gasping for air. "Nice to see you back to your usual violent self. I was getting worried."
She released her grip and pulled him roughly back down the stairs, throwing him across the room. "What the heck's that supposed to mean? I've never known as much rubbish come out of anyone's mouth as yers."
He rubbed his neck. "Have you been sick?"
"Only sick of yer as usual," she barked.
"You've shut yourself away and it's not right," he said. She was about to yell when he added, "Not after all the money you spent to have a good time."
She stopped and took in his words. "I hate to say it but yer right."
"Thank you," he smiled.
"Just don't make a habit of it," she ordered. "I'm not having anyone mess up me holiday. Give us a couple of hours to get dressed and put me face on. In't it formal tonight?" He nodded. "Right. Time to pull out me sexiest outfit and snare a fella once and for all."
He sat there as she went up the stairs and disappeared into the bathroom. "Normal service has been resumed," he said, pleased with himself.

Reet went through bar after bar getting rejected and laughed at each time she tried propositioning anyone so fled as fast as she could back to the suite. Her nose dripped on the freshly polished bar counter in the corner as she cried her eyes out. She got a handkerchief out of her 80s-style sparkly clutch bag, wiped her nose, slowly trudged up the stairs and flopped on the bed. When she looked up she saw her reflection in the dressing table mirror which made her cry more. She got up and went over to it, switching the lights on, pulling out the chair then sat with her elbows on the table, head in her hands gazing at her reflection in the bright light. "What happened?" she said to herself. "I can't have lost me sex appeal. I look fantastic for me age and am a damn sight sexier than the rest of them on this cruise. How can any man resist this gorgeousness? I just don't understand it and at this rate I'll never get me hands on more millions". She sighed heavily as she kept staring which was how Norris found her when he returned after 2am.
"Oh," he said, startled. "I thought you'd be asleep."
She snapped out of her funk as she felt her heckles rise. "Obviously I'm not, peasant!"
"I did wonder with the windows not rattling," he observed.
Reet dived into the bathroom, washed her face then came down the stairs. "I'm going for a walk. Now it's yer turn not to wait up."
Norris was about to speak but she had gone before he got the words out. "Oh dear. Something has definitely happened and I'm going to be on the receiving end of it."

Reet wandered around the ship for hours, occasionally gazing into the vast ocean, tears rolling down her face. She began to get chilly so headed back inside, taking the lift down to Britannia Deck. As she got out, she paused for a while then went port instead of starboard and down the corridor. She stopped outside a door, paused again and knocked. Nothing. She tried again and was about to give up when the door opened.
"Reet!" Katy gasped. "You're the last person I expected to see. Come in." Reet did so and Katy closed the door behind her. "What can I do for you at this time of night? What time is it, by the way?"
Reet checked her watch. "Nearly seven in the morning. We need to talk."
"I thought you said everything you needed to when you rejected me the other day," Katy noted.
"So did I," she replied. "Did you mean what you said?"
"I meant every word," Katy assured, stroking Reet's face tenderly.
Reet took a deep breath then kissed Katy's mouth. "I want yer so much," she said softly.
"Oh, Reet," Katy cried joyfully before they kissed passionately. "You won't regret it, I promise."
"I know I won't," Reet replied as Katy led her up the stairs. Lie back and think of money, Reet thought to herself as she closed her eyes.

Meanwhile on the starboard side Norris was getting increasingly worried again. Judging by her solemn mood and the fact she hadn't returned, he seriously hoped Reet hadn't done anything stupid like jump overboard even though it would mean he would be free of her violent streak once and for all. She could have just gone for breakfast, he reasoned then decided to give her another hour before he went looking.

Back in the Library Suite, Reet and Katy were cuddled up in bed.
"That was amazing," Katy beamed as she played with Reet's curls. "It's like a dream come true."
"For me too," Reet said.
"I love you more than you'll ever know," Katy went on, gazing into Reet's baby browns.
"Me too," Reet replied. "But what are we going to tell that peasant of mine?"
"How about the truth?" Katy suggested.
"No," Reet stated firmly. "He must never know. He's so happy with yer even though we both know nowt'll ever come of it. If we told him goodness knows what he'd do."
"Do you really care about him that much?" Katy asked.
"No but he's cheap," Reet told her.
Katy laughed. "But being so effeminate himself he must know you're gay."
Reet was taken aback by that. "No one does," she answered quickly. "I've managed to hide it well by sleeping with and marrying men. Spoil me image as a man-magnet if anyone knew. Not even me closest friends do."
"Darling," Katy cooed down her ear, "then it's time you bounded out of the closet once and for all. No one will think any worse of you in this day and age. Well some might but they're small-minded bigots who should be shot but they aren't important." She kissed her cheek tenderly.
"That's as maybe," she said, trying to ignore the affection which was strangely arousing, "but I'm too old now."
"No one's too old, darling," Katy assured.
"I'd rather I came out in me own good time," she said with a clear edge in her voice. She pushed the covers back. "Norris will be getting worried."
Katy grabbed her arm. "Have I upset you?"
"Of course not," she lied as she leant over and kissed her latest future inheritance. "But I know what the peasant's like. Probably think I've topped meself."
"Will I see you again?" Katy asked.
"Will you keep making Norris believe he's in with a chance?" Reet countered.
Katy sighed. "Even when I only want to be with you?"
"Even then," Reet replied.
"I'll do anything not to lose you, darling," Katy told her. "I love you so very, very much."
"I know you do," Reet smiled sweetly. "We'll sort summat out for later. I really have to go." She picked up her clothes and dressed before kissing Katy goodbye and letting herself out. She walked down the corridor and headed for her suite, leaning heavily against the door once she's reached it. "Here goes nowt," she said to herself before letting herself in.
"There you are," Norris cried. "Where have you been all this time?"
"I told yer, peasant," she barked. "For a walk."
"With your mood over the past few days," he began, "I thought you'd jumped overboard."
"Thought or wished?" she growled. "Oh get out me way, moron. I need a shower." She hit him hard around the head as she pushed past, went up the stairs and slammed the bathroom door behind her.

After a fitful sleep, Reet awoke, looked at the clock on the bedside table and sighed heavily. "Peasant!" she yelled half-heartedly. No answer. She sighed with relief and rested her arm on her forehead thinking. All tiredness had gone so she forced herself out of bed and staggered to the bathroom. After putting the light on she stared at her reflection. "This is daft," she said to herself. "What do yer think yer doing, Sullivan? Can yer really be that desperate?" She sighed. "Course yer not. Yer'll have to tell Katy yer not gay and want nowt more to do with this lie then if she tells the peasant owt yer'll make sure he never believes a word of it."

A while later as she was flicking through the TV channels, Norris returned.
"Sleep well?" he asked.
"None of yer business," she snapped. "What are yer doing?"
"I spilt some tea down my shirt," he told her. "Have to get changed."
"Where's Katy?" she wondered.
"Gone back to her suite," he explained as he started to undo the buttons. "We'll be meeting later for a trivia quiz."
Reet curled her lip as he removed his shirt. "No wonder no woman wants yer," she remarked. "Not exactly a fine figure of a man, are yer?"
"Katy's got no complaints," he said smugly.
"Oh? Slept with her, have yer?" she raised an eyebrow.
"Not yet," he replied, looking down.
"Well I'm off for a wander round the ship." She stood and made for the door. "If I have to look at that hideous body of yers I'll need the ship's doctor."
"I'm no worse than you," he pouted. "Ow!" he yelped as a book flew across the room from behind and landed on his head.

Reet made her way to the Library Suite to speak to Katy. She knew it was the right decision because she'd never been into women and was finally filled with confidence. There was no answer. She tried again and was about to give up when the door opened slowly. "What's up?" she asked, noticing Katy was in some sort of pain.
"Come in," Katy gestured, stepping back slowly.
Reet went to help her. "Let's get yer sat down." She helped her over to the sofa where she lay down then plumped up a cushion and put it behind her head. "That better?"
"Much," she smiled weakly. "I'm so glad you were here." She took Reet's hand and gazed deeply into her eyes. "Would you mind getting me a glass of water?"
"Course not," Reet replied then did so. She sat her up when she returned, putting the glass to her lips. "Better?"
"Yes, thanks," Katy smiled again. Reet put the glass on the coffee table and felt Katy's grip around her waist get tighter. She involuntarily tensed. Katy sensed something was wrong. "What's up?"
"Didn't I just ask yer that?" Reet chuckled, trying to get off the subject as she decided she could hardly tell her when she was unwell to keep her paws off. She couldn't be that heartless unless it was to Norris. "Now come on. Lie back and rest."
Katy's hand moved from Reet's waist to her thigh which she then squeezed gently. "I'm so glad you're here despite getting the feeling something's not quite right. Have I done something to offend you?"
"What rubbish yer do talk," Reet bluffed, wishing she hadn't been put in this position of wanting to dump someone when they're sick.
Katy gently caressed Reet's cheek. "Kiss me, darling."
"Yer should be resting," Reet said.
Katy let her hand fall. "I knew you were avoiding me after this morning. Makes me wonder what you bothered coming here for in the first place. One-night stand, was I?"
Reet sighed. "Katy-"
"You don't have to say anything," she said, a tear rolling down her face. "I get the message. Now leave me alone. I wish you'd never come then perhaps I would have been able to die in peace."
Reet's ears pricked up. "Die?"
"I don't want your sympathy," Katy snapped. "Just go."
"Yer not going to die," Reet snorted.
Katy paused. "No, you're right. Not this time. Could happen any time though."
"Now what are yer talking about?" Reet asked. "Yer as fit as anything."
"If only that were true," Katy explained. "I had rheumatic fever when I was a child. Left me with a weak heart. Today was the first attack for a long time."
"Oh, love," Reet said softly before taking her in her arms. Bingo! Reet thought, even though it is a woman.
Katy wasted no time kissing her passionately. "Staying with me out of sympathy now, are you?" Katy asked bitterly.
"Don't be ridiculous," Reet lied.
"You didn't want me even touching you before," she pointed out.
"You weren't well!" Reet screeched. "Did yer expect me to take advantage when yer like that? Course I want to be with yer. What do yer think I came round here for?"
"Dump me?" Katy said flatly.
"Yer should be so lucky," Reet winked making Katy laugh. "We can hardly spend any proper time together with that peasant about, can we? Soon as he said yer'd come back here and would be meeting later I had to come and see yer. But today I think yer should rest. Don't want to give yer another attack, do we?" Katy looked down and reluctantly shook her head. "We're in Gibraltar tomorrow. He's off an some sort of boring excursion to see World War Two tunnels. That'll give us at least a couple of hours, okay?"
Katy beamed. "Okay, darling. I have to admit I'm not feeling too clever at the moment."
"Would yer like me to stay with yer?" Reet asked.
"As long as you don't overexcite me, darling, I'd love it," she smiled, gently stroking Reet's face again.
Reet took her hand and kissed it. "I'll ring the cabin and tell the peasant yer ill so he'll have to play with himself." Katy watched her go over to the phone and dial. "It's me, moron. Katy's not feeling well so won't be going to yer quiz. No she most certainly doesn't want yer to come round and take care of her. What? It's women's things, imbecile! Yeah thought yer would. She doesn't want to be disturbed. What? Sometimes yer stupidity astounds me, peasant. Course I'll be with her so that means I don't want to be disturbed either unless yer want to pay for it. That's right. Now be a good little moron and amuse yerself. Oh belt up!" She slammed the phone down and returned to Katy's side. "That's him taken care of."
"So I heard," Katy chuckled. "Remind me not to get on the wrong side of you."
It was Reet's turn to stroke Katy's face now. "Not a chance of that," she cooed, thinking of all that cash before snapping out of it. "Come on. Let's get yer up them stairs and into bed."
"Thought yer weren't going to get me overexcited," Katy chuckled. "Oh wait. Put the do not disturb sign on the door then we won't be except when we want room service."
"Good thinking," Reet said then did as bidden. "Now then, up you get," she continued as she helped her off the sofa. "Tell me if I'm going too fast." They slowly made their way up the stairs and she helped Katy into bed. "Now yer rest."
Katy grabbed her arm. "Don't go. Sit with me a while." Reet sat while Katy propped herself up. "Thank you."
"For what?" Reet said.
"Being here," Katy replied. She leant forward, her body brushing against Reet's. "You really have no idea how much I love you, Reet."
"And I feel the same else I wouldn't be here," Reet told her.
"You've never said it though," Katy noted.
"What?" Reet frowned.
"That yer love me," Katy said.
"Course I do," Reet said nervously. "When yer get to me age yer realise yer don't have to say it all the time to keep reassuring people. It's what yer do to show it what counts."
"Then show me," Katy breathed almost breathless with anticipation.
"But yer heart," Reet gasped.
"Sod me heart," Katy said. "Show me how much you love and want me, Reet."
Reet, thinking seriously about all that money, eased Katy back down onto the bed kissing her passionately.
Once it was all over Katy lay beside Reet and they held each other. "Worth it?"
"Every second," Reet gasped then Katy kissed her again. "I love yer, Katy," she found herself saying but it was too late.
"Oh, Reet!" Katy squealed, hugging her tighter. "I always knew you did."
Reet was too tired to try and get out of it so just closed her eyes and went to sleep.


To be continued.....

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 5

During the rest of that leg of the marathon cruising session not much else happened. Katy continued to let Norris believe he was in with a chance while behind his back she and Reet were getting cosier. After Reet's declaration of love the day before Gibraltar she had never been happier. Reet was continuing to show her undying love and devotion when they were together while apart had to keep reminding herself she was only doing it for all Katy's wealth and mustn't cause her any upset which may result in her dropping down dead before she'd changed the will. At times she felt disgusted she could stoop so low in the pursuit of happiness but when that happened she would just talk herself back into it which was easy with the prospect of inheriting over £20,000,000. The ship arrived back in Southampton on the 3rd November and they waited until they were allowed to reboard, while Norris had decided to go and see some sights. Katy suddenly stood.
"Summat up?" Reet asked.
"Just remembered I have to be somewhere," she replied mysteriously. "Won't be long."
"Make sure yer not," Reet said. "They'll be letting us back on board soon and we won't have to see peasant till lifeboat drill."
"I'll be here. Can't miss being alone with you, can I?" she winked then disappeared.
Reet sat in departures and sighed heavily as she looked around. It was mainly empty with only a handful going on to the Caribbean cruise. She couldn't help overhearing those annoying two girls.
"It's a bugger we're the only one in AGAIN," the redhead was whining. "What's the point in living in one of the busiest ports in the world and they don't cooperate?"
"They're doing these cruises at the wrong time of year," the American added. "I wanted to see Queenie. Now I'll have to wait until next year before she goes to Dubai."
"What are you talking about?" the redhead asked. "We're on Aurora for six months and a few times we'll be in with Lizzie. There's the 25th for a start then we go to Zeebloodybrugge with her on the 14th December and home again on the 15th. She'll be stalking us at least coming home seeing as we go first."
The American grinned. "I'd forgot that. So think she'll leave first or be late as usual?"
"Search me," the redhead shrugged. "You know she's an unpredictable cow."
"Not for much longer," the American sniffed, on the brink of tears.
"Oh, don't," the redhead said. "You'll set me off again."
Reet closed her ears as they wailed. The QE2, she thought as she remembered her own cruise with Mavis Riley back in 1995. Yes it was very sad but any replacement should be an original and named Queen Reet in her opinion. She'd give anything to be a Godmother and get free cruises for the rest of her immortal life. After far too long daydreaming of freebies a hand on her shoulder snapped her out of her reverie. "Oh it's yer," she said, looking up at Katy.
"Told you I wouldn't be long," Katy smiled reassuringly as she sat beside her.
"Where did yer go?" Reet asked.
"Never you mind," Katy winked, tapping Reet's nose playfully.
Reet felt embarrassed at the open gesture and looked round in the hope no one else waiting realised what was going on between them. "Did the peasant tell yer what time he'd be back?" she said, changing the subject.
Katy shook her head. "I thought you'd have beaten it out of him."
"Didn't give me a chance," Reet noted. "Was out of that cabin like his pants were on fire."
Katy laughed out loud. "If they had been I'd bet you'd have set light to them."
"Now that's an idea..." Reet winked then giggled.
Katy moved closer. "I wish they'd hurry up and let us back on board," she said softly down Reet's ear. "I want to take you to bed. You're so sexy when you laugh."
Reet smiled back sweetly as she felt Katy's sweaty palm clutch her hand, fighting the urge to yell how she's always sexy. "I'm sure it won't be much longer," she said, wishing Norris would hurry up and return.

After far too long waiting they were all back on board as the new influx of passengers boarded. As they were unsure when Norris was going to get back, they went to the Library Suite while the rest of the passengers got something to eat. An hour before sailing, Katy and Reet were lying in bed when there was a knock at the door.
"Ignore it," Katy said as she draped her arm across Reet.
"What if it's the steward?" Reet panicked. "If there's no answer he could come straight in."
"Let him," Katy replied as she blew gently down Reet's ear.
Reet's outrage was contained when they heard Norris say, "Hello? Katy? Are you in there?"
Katy leapt out the bed with an enormous grin. "I'll go and let him in!"
"No!" Reet screeched. "Yer promised yer wouldn't let him find out about us."
"Maybe it's time he did," she grinned, throwing her dressing gown around herself then rushing down the stairs. "Coming, Norris!" she sing-songed, hoping he hadn't given up.
Reet seethed, quickly got out of bed, grabbed her clothes and dived into the bathroom to dress. "Bitch!" she said to herself.
Katy opened the door. "Oh good. You're still there. Come in." She grabbed his arm and dragged him into the suite. "Good day?"
"Yes," he said, puzzled by her response but pleased she was so thrilled to see him. "Is Reet here?"
Katy pulled him further in. "Up there," she pointed. "Reet!" Silence. "Reet? Norris is here." More silence. "Come on," she said to Norris, clutching his arm as she made her way up the spiral staircase. Her face fell when she saw Reet wasn't where she'd left her. The bathroom door opened. "There you are," Katy noted.
"Yes," Reet replied, slight edge to her voice. "Here I am. Where else did yer expect me to be? In bed?"
Norris didn't understand the reference but recognised that look she was giving Katy and was glad he wouldn't be on the receiving end of it for once. "I'm glad I found you."
"The balcony," Katy added quickly, also recognising the look after these past few weeks and suddenly felt very ashamed.
Reet snorted with contempt before turning her attention back to Norris. "What do yer want, peasant?"
"They'll be doing lifeboat drill soon," he pointed out, sensing something brewing between these two. "I didn't know if you were back on board when I couldn't find you."
"I'll be along shortly," she told him gruffly, not taking her raging eyes off Katy. She noticed out the corner of her eyes he hadn't moved so turned her attention to him. "Have yer gone deaf now, or what?" she yelled. "Get back to the suite and wait for me there!" She pushed him down the stairs with a force he'd never felt before. "Now clear off!" She waited until hearing the door close before glaring at Katy again.
"My turn down them next, is it?" she asked nervously, Reet's current mood scaring her a little.
"Don't tempt me," she spat, resisting the urge and losing all that money. "What the hell do yer think yer were playing at?"
"I'm sick of hiding away, Reet," Katy explained. "We love each other. I don't want to be bored by him while waiting for a few minutes alone with you. It's time he knew the truth once and for all."
"Oh, yer think so, do yer?" Reet growled then changed her tone. "Fine. Go ahead. Only yer'll never have owt to do with me ever again if yer do."
"You don't mean that," Katy panicked. "We love each other!"
"If stabbing someone in t'back after making promises is yer idea of love I want nowt to do with it," Reet hissed. "Ta-ra, Katy," She added breezily with a slight wave as started going down the steps.
Katy collapsed on the bed and broke down. "I'm sorry, Reet. I love you. Please don't leave me. I'll do anything you want just don't go."
Reet continued to the door looking smug as she opened it then let it close behind her. "Idiot," she said to the door before making her way back to her own suite.
Meanwhile Katy felt a sharp pain in her chest. She dragged herself to the phone and dialled the Piano Suite. "Reet? Oh Norris. Is Reet there? What? When she gets in can you tell her I need her. I'm feeling unwell again. I'll put a wedge under the door so she can come in. Thanks." She hung up and waited on the sofa. A short while later she heard footsteps. "Reet?"
"No it's me," Norris replied.
"Where's Reet?" she asked on the brink of tears.
"She said she's busy and told me to come over instead," he told her. "Anything I can do?"
Tears rolled silently down Katy's face. "Get me a blanket, will you?" she said as her heart broke for her lost great love knowing it was all her own fault and wished her heart would just conk out then she could die. When eight bells sounded, Norris helped her to her muster station. "You'd better be getting to your own, " she suggested sadly. "They'll start a search is the head count's wrong and you also don't want to get on the wrong side of Reet again."
"All right," he replied reluctantly. "But you wait here when it's over and I'll come and get you."
Katy smiled weakly. "Thanks." He kissed the top of her head then left.

Reet sat tapping her foot waiting impatiently for the peasant. She hoped Katy hadn't gone and died before she had a chance to make her grovel. Finally she saw him coming and he sat beside her. "Where's yer girlfriend?"
"On the other side. I'm going to help her back to the cabin after the drill," he told her.
"Not dead then?" Reet asked.
"What a horrible thing to say," he gasped.
"The way she were carrying on yer'd think she were about to snuff it.," she snorted. "Flamin' drama queen."
"Takes one to know one," he noted. "Ow!"

Everyone was on deck for sailaway. Norris has insisted Katy sat with them in the Pennant Bar much to Reet's chagrin. Norris sensed an atmosphere between them and decided to do something about it. "Be back in a minute."
"Where do yer think yer going?" Reet demanded.
"To get my cardigan," he replied. "It's getting a little chilly. Won't be long."
Reet glared at him but he was gone through the sliding doors and into the Orangery before she could utter one word of abuse. She turned her back on Katy and listened to the music of the sailaway band.
"I'm truly sorry, Reet," Katy pleaded. "I never meant to hurt you."
"The peasant's right about it getting chilly," she said to herself. "I'm going back inside." With that she got up and left Katy to sob her broken heart out.
After a while Norris returned and saw the state Katy was in. "What's the matter?" he asked, consoling her. "Where's Reet?"
"She hates me," Katy wailed. "I've told her I'm sorry. What more does she want?"
His nose twitched with impending gossip. "What did you do?"
She looked up at him through teary eyes then wailed again. "I never meant to do it. I thought it's what she wanted deep down."
"What was it?" he asked.
"I..." She stopped. "It's not important."
"It must be to have got you into such a state," he reasoned. "I'll have a word with her."
"No, Norris, you mustn't," she beseeched. "It will only make things worse if she thinks I've got you doing my dirty work for me."
"But she must be told she cannot treat people like something she's scraped from her shoe," he said firmly.
"It was all my fault and I'm the one who has to put it right," Katy replied. "Please, Norris. Don't say anything. She'll end up hating me even more and I'll never be able to get her to forgive me."
"All right," he sighed. "But I don't like it."
"Thank you," she smiled. "I think I'll go back to the cabin now and lie down."
"I'll give you a hand," he offered.

Once Katy was asleep he returned to the Piano Suite to have it out with Reet no matter what Katy wanted. He was determined not to let it rest, especially with her being so ill.
"Ah there yer are at last," Reet yelled from above. "Just be grateful it's not formal night or I'd have yer guts for me suspenders." She was shocked to see him coming up the staircase. "What the hell do yer think yer doing? Get down there at once before I push yer!"
"Go ahead," he said, trying to be brave but really crapping himself. "Wouldn't be the first time."
"I'm warning yer, peasant," she said through narrow eyes.
"And I'm warning you," he retorted. "Whatever it is Katy's done doesn't deserve the way you're behaving towards her especially with her being under the weather."
"What the hell has that got to do with yer?" she screeched. "Got yer to do her dirty work, has she? Typical."
"She said you'd say that," he remarked. "As a matter of fact she begged me not to say a word."
"Then keep yer trap firmly shut," Reet growled.
"However as she's a friend of ours-" he began.
"She's no friend of mine after that stunt she pulled," Reet snorted.
That set Norris's nosiness radar off again. "What stunt?"
"Oh, so the future Mrs Peasant didn't tell yer that bit then? I thought yer had no secrets," Reet said sarcastically. "Just went on about what an evil bitch I am instead, were it?"
"There's no need to be like that, Reet," he scolded. "She's already said it's her fault. Though knowing you I wouldn't be surprised if you've just made he believe that."
"Whatever went on between me and that bitch is nowt to do with a snivelling little runt like yer," she hissed, bringing her face close to his. He broke into a sweat. "So keep that out!" She punched his nose making it bleed. "Oh dear, yer bleeding. Let's clean it all up." She frogmarched him into the bathroom. "This'll be the first time and last yer'll ever be in here so just remember that or yer'll get more of the same."
"More of the same what?" he wondered.
"This!" She lifted the toilet lid, shoved his head down it and flushed, the strong vacuum nearly sucking his face off. She roughly pulled him back up. "Gonna belt up now?"
"Yes, Reet," he said.
"And never mention that bitch in me presence ever again?" she went on.
"Yes, Reet," he agreed.
"Good," she beamed. "Time for dinner so go and clean yerself up."


To be continued....

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 6

Two days later they docked in Corunna in northwestern Spain at 8am. Norris and Katy went off to do a short walking tour of the old city which pleased Reet as she wouldn't have to avoid her for a couple of hours while she plotted more playing hard to get. She had an idea, as she knew Norris was bound to bring Katy back to her suite when they returned to try another attempt at getting them to be friends again. She went to change then sat on the balcony in her towelling robe to wait. Eventually she heard voices.
"Doesn't look like she's here," Norris said to Katy as he took his coat off.
"I don't know whether to be upset or glad," Katy sighed. "Though to be truthful, I don't think I can take those looks she keeps giving me much longer."
"I know what you mean," Norris concurred. "I've had to put up with them for eight years. Sit down."
Outside on the balcony Reet smirked as she bided her time.
"I don't think she's ever going to forgive me," Katy went on to Norris. "I'd really like us to be as friendly as we were before."
"I bet yer do," Reet said quietly to herself. "I'm sex on legs me."
"Reet's a selfish cow at times," Norris said. "Come to think of it, she's a selfish cow all the time. "
Reet scowled. "Yer'll pay for that crack, peasant."
"I don't know why I put up with her," he added.
"Because she's wonderful really," Katy sighed dreamily. She saw the expression on Norris's face. "What?"
"You wouldn't say that if you'd have to suffer her mental and physical abuse all these years," he told her bitterly. "Still, she'll be delighted to know there's more than merely herself who thinks she's wonderful. That'll do wonders for her over-inflated ego."
That was Reet's cue. She got up, took her robe off, dropped it on the chair and opened the balcony door. "Oh. I didn't realise yer were back. That time already."
Katy was almost drooling at the sight of her former lover wearing a bit of bikini which Reet didn't fail to miss. "Hello, Reet," she stammered.
Reet sniffed loudly pulling a face. "What's that smell? Did yer tread in summat, peasant?" Katy broke down and wailed loudly.
"That was very unkind, Reet," he chastised.
"Fancy another trip to the toilet?" she asked, eyebrow raised.
"Norris, leave us," Katy demanded, staring directly into Reet's eyes.
"I can't do that," he said. "I need to be here to protect you from her."
"And who's gonna protect YER from ME?" Reet barked.
"Just go, Norris!" Katy now yelled. "I can handle this. I'll come and find you when we're done."
"I don't like to when she's like this," he reasoned. "She's in one of her moods and one we can't blame PMT for seeing as she's past it."
"Come on, peasant," Reet said with a lilting voice. "Toilet time! Or would yer prefer to look over the balcony head first? Hmm. I haven't tried that one yet, have I?"
"I'll be in the library when you're ready," he said to Katy before bidding a hasty retreat.
Neither woman said anything, just continued glaring at each other before Reet turned her back on Katy.
"Oh no you don't" Katy said, breaking the silence and grabbed Reet's arm forcing her to face her. "Time we sorted this out once and for all."
"I've got nowt to say to yer," Reet spat, shaking her off.
"How many more times do I have to apologise?" Katy asked. "I love you, Reet. I never meant to make you angry."
"Too late," Reet barked. "Yer did."
Katy tried not to look at Reet's body and focus on the matter in hand, even though she really wanted her more than ever. "I don't know why I did it. I suppose to see the look on his face more than anything else. He's so full of himself and thinks he's God's gift to women he needs taking down a peg or two."
"That's what I'm here for," Reet smiled. "And enjoy it too."
"Progress?" Katy asked hopefully.
"Do yer really expect me to forget what yer did just like that?" Reet said.
Katy shook her head. "I know I have to earn your forgiveness. I'll do anything you want. Please, Reet. I love you so much. I can't go on without you. I may as well just fake a row with Norris in the hope my heart stops then it won't be broken any more. I can't stand it broken, darling. I'd rather be dead than suffer this pain and knowing how much I've hurt you and brought it on myself."
"Yes yer did," Reet said flatly.
"I love you so much, Reet," Katy went on. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I know that sounds like a cliché but honestly it's not. I've never met anyone like you before. I've broken up with people before. We both have." Reet nodded. "But it's never affected me like this before. When you ended it I felt like my whole life was ending. I can't carry on without you." She noticed Reet's expression. "I'm not trying to emotionally blackmail you. I'm just telling you how I feel."
"Hmm," Reet mused sceptically.
"I'm putting it badly," Katy noted. "See what you've done to me? I can't even put myself across without muddling my words. I love you. I need you. I'm very, very sorry. I'll keep pretending to be interested in Norris. I'll do anything so we can be together again even if it has to be in secret."
"Anything?" Reet asked. Katy nodded. "Then go on that balcony stark naked and show yourself off to the locals."
Katy thought for a moment. "Right." She began to undress.
"Okay I believe yer," Reet chuckled.
Katy stopped mid-button. "Am I forgiven?"
"Yer have a long way to go yet to show how sorry yer really are," Reet smiled, glad she could dangle this fool on a string very successfully.
Katy rushed over and they embraced. "You won't regret it, darling."
"I better not," Reet warned.
"From now on I promise to do things your way," Katy beamed then kissed her passionately. "How long do yer think I ought to leave it before going to Norris?"
Reet shrugged. "Up to yer but I would like to be on deck for the departure."
"One thirty it is then," Katy grinned again as they kissed.

The following six days were at sea until the reached Antigua on the 11th. Katy kept her word and let Norris believe they had some sort of future while spending as much time with Reet as possible. They'd gone on deck for the 8am arrival.
"Phew it's hot," Reet said, wiping sweat from her brow. "Uh oh."
"What?" Norris asked.
"It's those sad ship nuts again," Reet pointed out. "Have yer heard 'em? Belt up and listen. They're hilarious."
"Jinxy!" the redhead squealed in excitement.
"After more than two weeks without porn we finally get some. Hi Jinxy!" the American said as they both waved at it. "You know what day it is?"
The redhead nodded. "One year of Lizzie left," she replied sadly.
"Three hundred and sixty-six days until she goes to Dubai," the American added solemnly.
"We mustn't think about it," the redhead insisted. "It'll only depress us."
"It is already," the American said.
"We'll say hello to her when we get home," the redhead said. "She'll be pleased to see us. You know she loves us."
"Not as much as we love her," the American replied.
"I hope she breaks down out of protest on her farewell cruise," the redhead said angrily. "Better than Dubai."
"Then they'll take her to Alang instead," the American sniffed.
"Okay, sinks then," the redhead suggested. "Better end for her in her natural enviroment."
"What about all the fuel?" the American gasped. "We don't want her polluting anything."
"Sea's already polluted," the redhead shrugged. "Anyway let's not get depressed. We've got Jinxy to drool over then your Dam and right at the end, Lizzie."
"I wish we were doing all her cruises now instead of Rorry," the American noted.
"At the prices they were charging after the announcement?" the redhead shrieked. "Legalised extortion. You'd have run out of money before getting a third of the way through booking."
"True," the American agreed. "Okay we'll concentrate on all this Caribbean porn."
Reet stifled her giggles. "What did I tell yer?"
"I don't understand what they're talking about," Norris frowned. "There's no ship called Jinxy."
Reet rolled her eyes. "I think they meant that one there," she said, pointing to a Sun class Princess ship with a buff funnel like Aurora.
Norris scratched his head. "But it's called Oceana. Don't they even know the name? They seemed to know what they were talking about in the Mediterranean. "
"Course they do," Reet tutted. "But they're so sad and pathetic they've obviously given them nicknames. Really need to get lives. Come on, peasant. Breakfast."
"Great!" he grinned. "I'll go and get Katy."
"Er, no," Reet replied. "Yer get some deodorant and have a wash. I'll get Katy. Meet yer there in about half an hour."
"Are you implying I smell?" he asked, offended.
"Yes!" she barked then hit him round the head. "Now don't argue with me or yer'll be scuba diving without a snorkel!"

While Norris went on his excursion to visit old forts, Reet and Katy went on the one to a beach which Reet particularly favoured as there was unlimited drinks. They stepped aboard the catamaran for the beginning of their six hour excursion and while Reet gazed over the beautiful scenery on their way to the beach, Katy gazed at her. The boat anchored in the bay. Reet and Katy joined the queue to disembark.
"Can I put my arms around you?" Katy whispered down her ear.
"No," Reet said firmly. "But yer can put yers through mine. Lots of women do that, especially when they reach a certain age. No one will guess we're lovers that way."
"Whatever you say," Katy replied reluctantly as she worked out a way to get them on their own. "How about a stoll? Be a while before that Caribbean cookout."
"Why not?" Reet smiled. "Let's get a drink first."
They did that then began walking, waves lapping at their feet. Katy had never felt such a romantic moment.
"This is wonderful," she said. "Beautiful surroundings and with a beautiful woman. I never want it to end."
"Has to when we get back on that boat," Reet unhelpfully pointed out.
"Do you have to try and spoil it?" Katy snapped.
"Sorry," Reet replied.
Katy held her arm tighter. "I forgive you," she cooed. "After all, you, me, this beach. It couldn't be more perfect."
Reet sipped her drink. "I'm sure it could be," she said, thinking of being minus the limpet.
"That's what we need to get, darling," Katy went on. "Our own private island then it really would be perfect. No people. No Norris."
"No peasant sounds a good idea," she grinned. "But who would we have to fetch and carry for us?"
"Good point," Katy agreed. "You do need someone to take things out on and after last week I'd rather it weren't me."
Reet laughed. If only yer knew the taking things out on yer I have planned, she thought. "Norris is more fun."
"Let's go and find some shade," Katy suggested. "Get away from all these people and prevent you from burning."
"I don't burn," Reet snapped defensively.
"Your shoulders are starting to go red," Katy noted. "I'll rub some lotion on you when we've got comfy."
"Any excuse to put yer hands on me body," Reet winked.
"Then you shouldn't be so sexy," Katy grinned. "Come on. That looks a good spot away from prying eyes." Reet rolled her eyes as she was dragged away from the beach. "Sit down." Reet did as Katy knelt down, pulled the lotion from her bag then poured some on her hands and began to rub it sensuously over Reet's shoulders and back. She looked round and when sure no one was looking, kissed Reet's neck tenderly. "Will you rub some on me?"
"Of course," Reet replied then took the bottle. As she massaged it into Katy's shoulders, Katy grabbed her hand. "Katy!" Reet gasped angrily, swiftly snatching her hand away. "There's a time and a place and this in't it!" She got up and returned to the rest of the passengers leaving Katy sobbing.
Katy wiped her eyes after a good bawl then followed in Reet's wake. "I've blown it again, haven't I?" she asked, fighting the tears.
"No," Reet reassured. "I understand why yer did it this time. It's just inappropriate in a public place."
"I know," Katy sighed heavily. "I just find you so irresistable."
"Nowt wrong with that," she winked. "Let's get another drink and wait for dinner. Smells delicious and I'm hungry."
"I only have an appetite for you," Katy schmoozed down her ear.
"Then yer'll waste away and then what'll yer do too weak to lift yer arm?" Reet pointed out, anything to get off the subject.
"All right," Katy conceded. "But we can burn the calories of later."
Reet said nothing but downed the fresh drink in one.


To be continued....

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 7

Reet struggled to keep Katy at arm's length as they sailed to Tortola, St Kitts and St Lucia but finally succumbed en route to Dominica. Norris's increasing interest in ship spotting with those saddos drove her crazy and she needed to do something to get away from him. He had already bored her about Norwegian Jewel at Tortola and Seabourn Pride at St Lucia and making her reach the end of her tether. As he'd escaped before she had a chance to relieve her frustration it was only to Katy she could turn. She and Katy took a stroll around the Sun Deck.
"Oh no," Reet said in frustration.
"Come on," Katy said. "You know they're good for a giggle. Now Norris is added to that equation it should be hilarious,"
"I hope yer right," Reet replied despondently.
They leant against the rail and listened intently.
"Dam!" the American screeched excitedly.
"Dark-hulled whore," the redhead replied.
The American laughed. "You know me too well. You better get that bum shot for dad."
"Oh yeah," the redhead said before taking some photos and zooming on the camcorder. "That should satisfy his pervy ways."
"So what's this one then?" Norris wondered.
"Noorclone," the redhead replied flatly.
The American noticed the puzzled expression on his face. "She means Noordam," she explained. "But they're all clones. Isn't she in with Arsehole tomorrow?"
The redhead nodded. "Yep. Think they can fool people by painting it in P&O colours like they're doing with Vicadiadam in Cunard's."
"Or Vomit when it's a Grand class Princess," the American added.
"Their American passengers may be thick to the point of not even knowing the name of the ship they're on-" the redhead began.
"Present company not included," the American chuckled.
"That's because you're too sensible to go on a smelly," the redhead giggled.
"Unless Vacations to Go tempt me offering Parasite for fifty bucks," the American added.
"Then you'll have to go for research," the redhead screeched, still laughing.
"Have to take lots of dramamine then to stop me hurling," the American sniggered.
"Just don't overdose," the redhead remarked.
"Not easy when you suffer something that hideous even for a minute," the American said, pulling a face.
The redhead turned her attention back to Norris. "But the rest of the world knows the names of the ships and also can see they're the same. They insult the intelligence of us Brits by dumping two HALs and a Princess on us while proclaiming they're British and something new and exciting."
"So what's this..." he struggled to repeat the word, "Arsehole?"
The redhead and American looked knowingly at each other.
"Be here same time tomorrow and you'll soon find out," the American replied mysteriously. "Isn't there another one in today?"
The redhead pulled out her list. "Azamara Journey apparently. Somewhere called Cabrits. If we miss her she'll be with us tomorrow."
"Perhaps we could go and find it," Norris offered. "I wasn't doing anything today. I don't know about your two."
"Not us," the American grinned. "Great idea, Norris!"
"Yep," added the redhead. "We'll head off after all the excursion people have buggered off."
Norris spotted Reet and Katy. "Excuse me a moment." He crossed to them. "Reet, please don't be angry but I've agreed to go off with those two young ladies to look for a ship."
"She's not angry, are you, Reet?" Katy interrupted before Reet could burst a blood vessel.
"Be glad of the peace," Reet snapped, really wishing he wouldn't go and would occupy Katy's time instead. "Just be back before we sail or yer'll be sorry."
"I will be," he told her then returned to the girls.
"How considerate of him to give us the entire day to ourselves," Katy beamed, clutching Reet's arm tightly. "Let's hope he's not back for hours."
"Indeed," Reet said flatly.

Later that night, Reet and Katy were relaxing in Charlie's, the champagne bar on the Promenade Deck and listening the to music coming from the piano.
"This is nice," Katy observed, gazing lovingly at Reet.
"Evening ladies," Norris said.
"It was," Reet added bitterly.
"I hope you don't mind but I asked Patsy and Amy to join us," he said, pulling out chairs for them before sitting himself.
"What if I said I did?" she growled, eyes narrowed.
"They're a mine of information about ships," he went on, not hearing her response.
"I wish one would blow them both up," Reet mumbled which made Katy giggle.
Norris hadn't heard her. "Something funny?"
"Only yer saddos," Reet remarked then looked daggers at the two girls. "And now yer've corrupted me peasant. He's bad enough as it is."
"Oh lighten up, you sad old bag," Patsy told her.
"So, Norris, what did you think of Noordam?" Amy asked.
Reet was about to erupt in fury until Katy put her hand over hers. "Ignore them."
"Not easy when they're all morons," Reet said.
"I didn't like it," Norris was heard to say, oblivious to Reet and Katy. "It was quite ugly. No grace and style of the old ocean liners. That lift on the side looked like a giant hole."
Patsy slapped Norris playfully. "Don't upset Amy. You know she goes gaga over anything with a dark hull no matter how hideous it is."
That was it for Reet. "Oi, you! How dare yer hit the peasant. That's my job. Lay off him or yer'll be sorry."
"Touch me, you fat old cow, and I'll sue for every penny you've got," Patsy threatened. "After all, I have witnesses."
"And we could do with more money for more cruises and to visit Queenie in Dubai," Amy added. "Maybe even buy her from the Sheikh. What do you think? Three hundred million dollars be enough?"
"That'll do for starters," Patsy grinned.
Reet felt light-headed at the thought of losing that amount of cash. "I'm going to bed," she said, getting up.
"I'll come with you," Katy added eagerly as she stood beside her.
Reet glared at her. "Or maybe some fresh air." Then she was off.
"Don't worry, Norris," Katy assured. "I'll keep an eye on her. Try and lighten her mood so she'll be in a better one when you go back to the suite. Have a good night."
"You too," Norris said.
"Don't worry. I fully intend to," Katy said mysteriously then went to find Reet. She eventually found her leaning on the rail in front of the illumimated name sign. "There you are."
Reet cursed inwardly then forced a smile. "I thought you were going to bed."
"Not without you," Katy said as she cuddled up up to her. "Norris will be occupied with those two so probably won't even notice you aren't there."
"I thought yer were meant to be keeping him busy," Reet pointed out.
"Are yer complaining?" Katy asked, surprised. "As long as he's with those girls it gives us more opportunity to be together."
"He's got high hopes of making yer the next Mrs Moron," Reet said.
"He'll be lucky," Katy laughed. "There's only one person I want to walk down the aisle with."
Reet swallowed nervously. "No aisles in registry offices."
Katy looked round then stuck her tongue down Reet's throat. "Marry me, darling. Don't worry. No one saw. What do you say?"
"This is such a shock," Reet stammered. "I need to think about it."
"There's just one more Caribbean port before we head home," Katy signed wistfully. "We can begin our new life once we're back in Southampton."
"Aren't yer jumping t'gun a bit?" Reet said. "I haven't even said yes yet."
"Oh I know yer thinking of what yer friends will say," Katy dismissed. "We don't have to tell them. I can move in with you and pretend we're just friends. They need never know how much we really love each other."
"I still need to think about it," Reet replied, trying not to thump her one.
"Listen, darling," Katy began. "Now I've changed my will leaving everything to you, you'll be taken care of for life when this heart of mine finally gives up the ghost."
That was music to Reet's ears but she tried not to show it. "When did yer do that?"
"Back in Southampton," she told her. "That's where I disappeared to."
"It sounds like yer trying to buy me," Reet said, trying to show she wasn't desperate for the cash.
"I'm sorry," Katy sniffed. "I didn't meant it to. It's a gesture to show how much I love you. I want to marry you, Reet, more than anything in the world. As long as we have a legal civil partnership you'll never have to worry about money ever again when I'm gone."
Reet's heart sunk. All that money so close and she has to marry the bitch before she can see her off. "I wish yer hadn't told me what yer'd done," she eventually said, trying to think hard on her feet and make her believe she cared about her.
"Why?" Katy asked, completely bemused. "I'm being open with you."
"I know that," Reet replied. "But now if I say no yer'll think I don't want yer and if I say yes yer'll think I'm doing it for the money." That's a good one, she thought. "Yer've put me in a terrible position now, Katy."
Katy took Reet's hands. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." She stroked Reet's face tenderly. "If I didn't know how much you love me, I'd never have said anything. Neither of us are money-grabbers. We're in it for love, not pounds."
Reet put her hand over Katy's and gazed into her emerald green eyes. That's what yer think, she thought. "I wouldn't be here if it weren't a very special kind of love," she said, thinking of twenty million things to adore once this charade was over and she'd modelled her latest black outfit. "I need to sleep on it." Katy looked downhearted. "Coming?"
Katy threw her arms around Reet and held her tightly. "Try and stop me."
"Yer place or mine?" she asked.
"Mine I think," Katy grinned. "Less chance of Norris catching us."

Norris hadn't even noticed Reet had gone and was glad of the peace. In the morning he decided to read one of the books he'd borrowed on ships before meeting the two girls on deck for their arrival in Barbados. "Good morning, ladies," he greeted them cheerfully. "What are we seeing today?"
"Blimey you're keen," Patsy noted, pulling out her list.
"We've successfully corrupted him," Amy grinned.
"Arcadia, Noordam and Azamara Journey," Patsy told him.
"Not that horrible Noordam again," Norrish whined. "Mind you it makes Reet look attractive."
The girls burst out laughing. "That wouldn't be difficult," Patsy remarked.
"Please don't tell her I said that," he pleaded. "I don't want another bump on my head."
Amy tutted. "Why don't you hit her back?"
"She's bigger than me," he replied.
"Rubbish," Patsy snorted. "You're a good inch or so taller."
"I didn't mean that way," he observed. "Ow!" He turned round to see a redfaced Reet.
"I heard that, peasant!" she barked.
"Where did you spring from?" he asked.
"Behind yer of course, moron," she screeched. "Stop giving me a good laugh with yer lack of intelligence. Me sides are splitting."
"That's going to make one hell of a mess," Patsy noted.
"I still haven't finished with yer," Reet warned.
"Oh, go back to your girlfriend and leave us in peace, you raddled old hag," Patsy said.
Reet was taken aback by that. Was it really that obvious there was something going on between her and Katy? "I could sue yer for that crack, lady," she warned again.
"Girlfriend?" Patsy asked defiantly. "Or raddled old hag?"
"Both," Reet snapped.
"Oh, keep your wig on, you dried up old prune," Patsy dismissed. "As if anyone'd be that desperate anyway."
Reet breathed a silent sigh of relief even though she still had an urge to belt the annoying other redhead. "Don't be all day, peasant," she said firmly to Norris. "Things to do." Then she swept off.
"Stupid bitch," Amy called after her.
"I heard that!" Reet yelled before almost disappearing through the doors.
"You were meant to!" Amy yelled then collapsed in giggles.
Norris was worried. "You shouldn't aggravate her."
"She's just a sad old cow with no life," Patsy retorted. "Now let's forget about her and concetrate on more important matters."
"Which are?" Norris wondered.
"That." Amy pointed towards the white and yellow form of Arcadia glistening in the sunlight. "Even though it's ugly."
"Looks like Noordam," Norris observed.
"Ooh, he's a fast learner," Patsy said to Amy.
"And they think the public are too stupid to notice," Amy commented. "That's because they are the same, Norris. Just painted different colours. That thing was meant to be Queen Victoria so you can imagine what the actual Vicadiadam will look like next month by looking at that."
"That same?" he asked.
Patsy nodded. "Near enough. Slight alterations but a good ninety-five percent identical. Not even a liner. A cruise ship with the same service speed of twenty-one knots. The public aren't thick."
"So here we have clones before your eyes which they try and make out are completely different and a hundred percent original," Amy added. "Better get your camera ready, Norris. You'll only need another four for the set."

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 8

Meanwhile Reet furiously stomped her way back to the Library Suite.
"Oh dear," Katy said. "What's he done now?"
"Not him," Reet snapped. "Those two loonies he's hanging around with. If I weren't such a lady I'd have belted the pair of 'em."
"I daren't ask," Katy replied, taking Reet in her arms to calm her down.
"That English loony insinuated yer were me girlfriend," Reet ranted.
"Well I am," Katy pointed out.
"WE know that," Reet screeched, pulling away from her. "Don't want the likes of them to, especially now the peasant is under their influence. I'm going to have to do summat to get him back to subnormal and fast!"
"Maybe I can help," Katy suggested. "After all, with him otherwise occupied I haven't been able to make him believe he's got a chance with yours truly for a long time."
"Excellent idea," Reet grinned for the first time that morning. "Come on."
"There's no hurry, is there?" Katy asked.
"It's a matter of life and death yer start at once," Reet told her.
"How?" Katy wondered sceptically.
"Because if the peasant continues to get on me nerves, I'll chuck him overboard so he'll either get eaten by sharks or drown as he swims home," Reet growled. She paused. "Oh I don't know. Could be quite enjoyable watching him try to keep his head above water."
"That's better," Katy beamed, rubbing Reet's shoulder tenderly. "I hate you being in a bad mood."
"Come on," she urged.
"Where to?" Katy frowned.
"Piano Suite to wait for the peasant," Reet told her. "No time like the present to get him unbrainwashed and back into yer clutches."
"What if he's lost interest?" Katy asked hopefully, as it would mean she and Reet would spend more time together.
"He won't if he knows what's good for him," Reet winked then led the way with Katy reluctantly following.

Several hours later the door finally opened. "...interesting about Canberra," Norris was saying as he entered the suite.
"Now you're talking," Patsy grinned.
"Her favourite ship," Amy explained. "Just don't mention Lizzie and the Falklands or she'll never shut up."
"Oh yes," Norris remembered. "The QE2 is a war veteran."
"Lizzie's war record was over-hyped," snorted Patsy in derision. "She was only gone a month and there eight days. Canberra's the heroine, gone three months and in the thick of it."
"I did warn you, Norris," Amy said then sat down and let them get on with it.
"But the QE2 returned to a rapturous welcome," Norris defended. "I read it in the paper during the Falklands anniversary."
"Bollocks!" Pasty said. "They've nicked Canberra's record and welcome home and given it to Lizzie. A Scottish newspaper even tried claiming she returned rust-streaked when it was Canberra. Lizzie was safely tucked up in Southampton before the Argies surrendered. If Canberra hadn't been cruelly murdered on that beach in Karachi ten years ago she'd have been the one hosting events and getting new plaques. Lizzie's the only one left and she shames the Cunard name with her lack of war record. Her return wasn't a patch on what Canberra got. Canberra became the nation's darling. The troops even had banners saying, 'Canberra cruises where QE2 refuses' as they came up Southampton Water on Canberra. She was respected while Lizzie took a knock in popularity. People have forgotten all that."
"Really?" Norris said, completely fascinated. "Tell me more."
"Enough!" Reet boomed from above. "Get the hell outta me cabin!" All three hastily made for the door. "Not yer, peasant! I haven't finished with yer yet."
Norris's knees knocked in fear. "Anything I can do for you, Reet?" he stammered.
"How about a couple of apologies for a start?" she said.
"For what?" he asked.
"Well," she began, sashaying down the staircase, "for inflicting them morons on me yet again."
"They're not morons," Norris defended. "They're very nice girls."
"Are yer arguing with me, peasant?" Reet scowled.
"Yes," he said firmly then closed his eyes as he knew what was coming. "Ow!" He opened his eyes to see Reet tapping a glass ashtray on her hand.
"Still arguing with me?" she hissed.
"Yes!" he replied before the ashtray connected with his previous lump. He fell to the floor with the force.
"What a woman!" Katy sighed adoringly as she watched the proceedings below.
Reet shot her a look then got Norris in a headlock. "Still want to argue with me, peasant?"
"Yes!" he gasped, struggling to breathe as she tightened her grip. "No!" She let him go and he took in as much air as he good.
Reet stood and kicked him. "I knew yer'd come round to me way of thinking in t'end with a little persuasion," she grinned.
"A little persuasion?" he echoed. "You tried to strangle me!"
"Nonsense," she dismissed. "I wouldn't need to try. I were just playing. What to know what being strangled REALLY feels like?" He quickly shook his head. "Pity," she went on, disappointed. "So do yer promise not to have owt to do with them morons ever again?"
"I'd planned to meet them on deck later to watch Noordam and Azamara Journey departing," he told her.
"Yer have a straight choice, peasant," she said, eyes hooded. "Either yer do as yer told and leave them saddos to their own business or yer'll be sorry."
"I'll stay here," he stammered, practically wetting himself with terror.
She clapped her hands together. "Excellent! Now for yer second apology."
"What do you think I've done to you now?" he sighed heavily. "Ow!"
"Not me, idiot!" she screeched. "Katy! Yer've been ignoring her and she's very upset about it, aren't yer, Katy?"
"Me?" she asked bewildered then noticed Reet's steely glare and swallowed hard. "Oh yes. I thought we were getting on well, Norris. Then for no reason you chose those girls over me. That hurt." She turned on the tears.
Norris winced as he gingerly pushed himself off the floor and walked slowly towards Katy. "I'm sorry." Reet gave the okay sign and winked at Katy behind his back. "I never intended to ignore you. I was distracted."
Katy wiped her eyes and came down the stairs. "I forgive you. Let's get you on that sofa so you can rest. You've had a tough morning."
"And who's fault's that?" he said, glaring angrily at Reet.
"Oh, shut yer face," she barked. "Yer lucky I went easy on yer."
"You call that easy?" he replied bitterly.
"Yer wouldn't be breathing if it weren't," she hissed again. "I'll leave yer two lovebirds to it," she added as Katy palmed the Library Suite keycard to her. "Don't do owt I wouldn't do."
Norris sighed heavily once that door closed. "Has she really gone?"
Katy looked round and nodded. "You just lie there and recover." She waited until he'd dozed off before slipping quietly out and joining Reet.
Meanwhile Norris snapped his eyes open, pushed himself up, went to the door and headed towards the cabin of his new friends to hide. No matter what Reet did to him he wasn't going to miss the sailings of Azamara Journey at 4pm and Noordam at 5pm for anything and was willing to take his punishment.

Several hours later Reet and Katy returned after a morning of passion. Reet stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the suite was empty. "That little runt!" she screamed. "He'll pay for this disobedience."
There was banging on the cabin wall. "Belt up in there!"
"Oh shut yer face!" Reet yelled back. "I paid thousands so can make as much noise as I like!" She suddenly came over light-headed at the thought of spending so much money and began to faint.
Katy caught her. "Oof!" she said as the weight of Reet's unconscious body collapsed in her arms and she lay her on the carpet. "Good job I love you or I'd never forgive you for making me pull a muscle in my back." She stroked her hair and as Reet was showing no signs of coming round, gave her a passionate kiss. Reet's eyes opened and she began choking. Katy removed her lips. "How are you feeling?"
"What happened," she asked, rubbing her head.
"You fainted," Katy told her.
"And sticking yer tongue down me throat was all yer could think of to wake me up?" she said.
"Worked, didn't it?" she winked. "You do realise you're in the perfect position to be taken advantage of?"
"You wouldn't?" Reet gasped.
"Why not?" Katy shrugged. "Norris isn't here. After what happened earlier he won't be back for a while and the steward's already cleaned so it's not like we'll be disturbed. God, you're so irresistible."
"Flattery won't get yer anywhere," Reet said.
"Want to bet?" Katy schmoozed as she lunged her tongue down her throat again.
Twenty million pounds, Reet continued to think as Katy had her evil way with her for the eighth time that day.

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 9

Despite looking all over the ship for Norris, Reet and Katy had no joy tracking him down so decided to wait in the suite. Finally, after 6pm when they'd cast off from Barbados, he skulked back in. Reet's expression was all too familiar to him but the finger drumming wasn't. He realised he was in serious trouble.
"I'll leave you to it," Katy said then left.
"Evening, Reet," he stammered, trying to avoid her glare. She said nothing as she beckoned with her index finger. He swallowed nervously and slowly crossed the suite. "Something wrong?"
"Wrong?" she replied as she stood. "Whatever gives yer that idea, peasant?"
"I-I-I just wondered from your apparent mood," he observed.
"Whatever make yer think I'm in a mood?" she asked airily. "I'm on me holidays. I only want to have some fun."
He sighed with relief. "Don't we all?"
"I'm so glad yer see it that way," she smiled before grabbing him roughly by the throat, teeth bared and dragged him onto the balcony.
"Reet!" he cried as she began to push him over the rail.
"Like what yer see down there, peasant?" she growled. "Fancy going for a swim? Don't look that far but it's over 200 feet. I could always throw yer over from higher. This ship is nearly 378 feet high. Hmm. I quite like the sound of that." She pulled him back and hauled him back through the balcony doors.
"No, Reet," he pleaded desperately. "I submit. Beat me. Whip me. Kick me. Set fire to me if you must but please don't throw me overboard."
"Oh, belt up whining!" She threw him across the room then stopped. "Set fire to yer, eh?" A huge grin broke out on her face making her look more grotesque to Norris than usual. "Wonder if there's any matches in this cabin?"
Norris's eyes widened in panic. "I was only joking about being set on fire."
She brought her face close to his. "Yer need to be taught to appreciate being in the company of greatness, peasant," she snarled. "And if that means setting yer alight, so be it!" She put her hands on her hips and stood upright. "Okay, moron. I'll give yer a choice. Either I set yer on fire, which sounds an excellent idea to me-"
"Or?" he interrupted, dreading the response.
"Or," she said, "yer do as yer told with no arguments."
"I'll do as I'm told," he quickly said.
"That's more like it," she grinned, slapping both his cheeks hard in unison. "For the moment yer can clear off out of here and spend time with Katy. Yer've been neglecting her, as we told yer this morning. Only yer still saw fit to disobey me and go to those nuts."
"I-I'll do anything," he stammered, relived he wouldn't burn.
"What yer waiting for?" she screeched. "Katy's in her suite. Go and make it up to her and don't come back too early or I'll reconsider the matches." Norris didn't need to be threatened twice so beat yet another hasty retreat while Reet laughed manically behind him. "Peace at last from being pawed," she said to herself. "I must use the thought of setting the little weasel on fire more often. Wonder if I can keep it up the rest of the cruise to make sure that bag is as far away from my gorgeousness as possible?"

The cruise continued across the Atlantic as Aurora steadily made her way home. Six days later they docked in Funchal, Madeira for five hours. Norris had been true to his word leaving Katy with very little free time to bother Reet and too tired when she got any. Reet feigned disappointment but was still determined to snare at least one rich fella, hopefully with more millions in the bank, before they arrived back in Southampton. With just three days left of the cruise time was rapidly running out. Norris had dragged Katy off an excursion around the island so Reet had a lie in after counting pounds to help her sleep in the first place. She rose at noon and after a quick patch-up job on her war paint decided to stroll around the deck as they departed at 1pm hunting a rich man. "Oh no!" she grizzled, spotting the two ship nuts taking photos of Island Star and Europa as Aurora sailed towards the open sea. "Thank goodness I can escape them on Sunday." She turned and saw Katy along the deck minus Norris. "Wish I could say the same about her."
"Reet!" Katy called and rushed towards the love of her life.
"Hello, Katy," Reet forced herself to reply cheerfully.
Katy clutched both ends of Reet's turquoise scarf. "You have no idea how much I've missed you. Anyone would think you were avoiding me."
"Where's the peasant?" Reet asked, trying to change the subject.
"At a lecture," Katy told her eagerly. "Be gone hours he said. Has several activities marked in the daily paper he wants to do this afternoon and asked if I minded being left alone. I naturally said no. After all, it will give us time together and we haven't had much of that since Barbados, have we?"
Reet shook her head, cursing this turn of events leading to having even less time in her desperate search for a rich man. "Lovely," she said, fingers crossed behind her back. "Only I have a terrible headache."
Katy stepped back, letting go of the scarf. She delved into her bag. "Good job I brought some aspirin, isn't it?"
"Indeed," Reet said flatly forcing a smile. "You've thought of everything."
"I always do, darling" Katy whispered down her ear. "Let's get you inside so we can shift your headache."
Reet sighed quietly and rolled her eyes as her limpet led her away.

The 25th November arrived and the final hours of the cruise ticked by too slowly for Reet. It was still pitch black outside but she needed a think so put her coat on then went onto the deck.
"Lizzie's up our bum!" she heard the redhead shriek excitedly.
"Hi Lizzie!" her friend screeched joyfully. "We should've gotten up sooner then we'd have seen her stalking us longer."
"Yeah but it was a good, boozy night last night," the redhead chuckled. "I wish it wasn't dark. Be crap for pics of her turning round and docking with us being up the other end."
"Yeah," the other agreed. "But at least she's all lit up. Look at that stack. Gorgeous!"
"They really are daft if they're expecting it to answer," Reet said quietly to herself as she watched them wave manically. She couldn't help a casual glance at the QE2 who was just nearing the QEII Terminal and smiled at the memory of her cruise with Mavis. "Those were the days," she sighed. "Rich fellas couldn't get enough of me back then. Why, oh why did I turn them down? Fred Elliott's gone to that great butcher's in the sky leaving a fortune to Ashley when it could've been me. Never even flashed me cellulite to snare Mike Baldwin all them years. What were wrong with me senses? Can't blame the effects of the carbon monoxide on that seeing as it hadn't happened. Yer always were a fool to yerself, Sullivan. Now t'only millionaire I've managed to attract despite five weeks of trying is a lunatic lesbian. What the heck's happened to me sex appeal? Maybe that's it. That carbon monoxide has destroyed me man-magnetism which is how I ended up with losers like Gilroy and the wet nelly." She felt despressed now and badly needed a drink or dozen and someone to take it out to cheer her up. "Better not just yet," she reasoned to herself. "He'll only go running to the limpet and I can't face her at the moment." As Aurora manoeuvred in the turning circle, Reet leant against the rail and sighed heavily, blotting out the squealing irritants getting an orgasm over an old ship. "There's nowt for it," she continued to herself. "Katy'll have to come back with me. All them weeks and not one sniff of a richer fella to get me out of her manicured clutches. How the heck has it come to this? She just better keep it buttoned around all and sundry that's all, millions or no millions."
"She's turning!" the redhead said.
"Look at that pretty ass," the American sighed dreamily. "That's what I call a real ship. Not a slab sided cloned thing."
"Oh she's so beautiful," the redhead said. "How could they get rid and replace her with that HAL monster?"
Reet slammed the rail hard with the palm of her hand then stormed back to the Piano Suite in a really bad mood after putting up with those two again and desperately needed a boost. "Peasant!" she boomed. "Wake up!" She kicked him. "Oi! I would grab yer hair only yer've got none. So I'll grab yer round the throat instead." And she did with so much force he nearly blacked out. "Are yer awake at last?" He nodded, struggling to breath. "Excellent," she grinned madly at him, a wild look in her eye then suddenly let him go.
He clutched his throat. "Thank you." Once she turned her back he crawled towards the door then felt himself being yanked backwards.
"Did I give yer permission to leave this greatness?" she snarled.
"No, but-" he began.
"But nowt, moron!" she yelled. "I've had a rotten day so far and I want cheering up. Come here." She grabbed his nose and hauled him up, dragging him over the piano. She let his nose go and lifted the lid. "See that?"
"What?" he asked, rubbing it.
"THAT!" she screeched, pointing to the workings inside. "Ohhhhhh!" She forced his face closer to the instrument then slammed the lid on his head. "Now do yer see?"
"Yes," came a muffled reply.
She raised the lid and noticed his expression when he looked at her. "Now what the heck's up with yer?"
"That hurt," he whimpered, now rubbing his latest bump.
"Did it?" she asked, frowning. "Excellent!" she went on grinning. "That was the intention. I'm beginning to feel better already. So, what can I do next?"
Norris swallowed nervously. "Why do you have to do anything?" he countered.
"Because I can!" she shrieked, arms in the air. She broke into another grin.
"Uh-oh," Norris muttered.
"Oh belt up moaning, peasant!" she yelled, hitting him round the head. "I'm going to really enjoy this."
"That's what I'm rather afraid of," he grumbled.
"Now, where's them matches?" she wondered making Norris's eye widen in horror. "I know they're round here somewhere." He made a dash for the door. "Oh no yer don't," she warned, sticking her leg out making him trip over it and land head first onto the bar counter, knocking something on the floor. "Oh well done, peasant. Yer've found the matches!" She picked them up then grabbed him. "Walkies peasant!"
"W-what are you going to do to me?" he stammered nervously as she dragged him onto the balcony.
"Stand there," she ordered.
"Why?" he asked.
"Because I say so, moron!" she barked, striking a match.
"Reet, surely even you aren't that cruel," he pleaded, not taking his eyes from the flame. "I know you threatened to do it but I didn't believe even you would do something that horrible."
"Then yer should know me better by now, shouldn't yer?" she grinned. "Barbecued Peasant! Course it really should be spit-roasted but beggars can't be choosers." With that she moved the match to his clothes and he began to burn.
"Get some water!" he begged, flapping around desperately trying to put himself out.
"Oh, yer want water?" she said. "Happy to oblige!" She got hold of his other leg and flipped him over the balcony.
"Help! Help!" he cried from below.
Reet leant over and laughed. "Well, yer wanted water. Just don't be selfish and drown. Yer've got all me steamer trunks to lug back to Weatherfield in a few hours. See yer in baggage reclaim!"
Norris heard her evil cackle grow fainter. "Help!" he cried again, fearing no one would hear him. Luckily some crew did and helped get him out and took him back to the suite. He lied to them about what happened and was more determined than ever to make Katy Mrs Cole the second so he could get away from Reet's brutality.


To be coninued....

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 10

Meanwhile Reet was busy with Katy in the Library Suite not giving Norris a second thought. After all, she did have twenty million other things to think about.
"You've made me so happy, darling," Katy told her as they hugged. "I can't wait to meet all your friends."
Reet pushed her away. "Just as long as yer don't blab about us otherwise we're finished."
Katy looked glum. "I wouldn't do anything to hurt you, Reet. I thought you trusted me by now." Reet cocked a knowing eyebrow. "What happened before was a mistake. How many more times to I have to apologise for it?"
Reet rubbed Katy's arms. "I know. I can't take any chances. The peasant still thinks he's in with a chance."
"What about once we're married?" Katy asked. "Can't they all know the truth then?"
"Definitely not!" Reet shrieked. "I've created this illusion about meself and I'm having nowt mess that up or they'll stop paying the papers and buying birthday cards. Yer trying to make me lose me profits?"
"Of course not, darling," Katy replied. "However Norris is going to have to be told at some point."
"He gets wind yer not interested in him after all and yer'll be out of me life quicker than yer can say 'I do'," she growled. "Understand?"
Katy reluctantly nodded. "So what are we going to tell people?"
"That we met on a cruise, which is true," she explained, having worked it all out in her head. "That yer staying with me as yer going steady with the peasant. The less they know about us the better. Once we're wed, well I could always sell up and yer dump the peasant. No one'll ever guess. In fact, yer could dump him first then I'll follow yer. Then we can live happily ever after. What do yer think?"
Katy thought it over. "I'm not happy about it, Reet. I'm sick of secrets. I'm gay and proud of it. You're gay and still ashamed." She sighed. "But I'll go along with anything you want as long as we're together."
"Marvellous," Reet beamed. "We'll get that date fixed for our wedding tomorrow. Sooner we're wed the better."
"Amen to that, darling," Katy cooed then kissed her passionately.

Once they disembarked and Norris collected everyone's luggage, struggling with four trollies, they made their way to Katy's people carrier for the long drive back to Weatherfield. Reet had insisted Norris sit in the front as she didn't want Katy's hands wandering as she changed gear. The arrived mid-afternoon to heavy rain and Katy followed Reet's directions so they pulled up outside her front door.
"Yer can keep yer car in me garage seeing as it's empty since they took mine away," Reet said to Katy, digging in her handbag for the keys.
"Thanks, Reet," Katy smiled, stroking Reet's hand with her thumb as they were handed over. "So this is where you live, eh?"
"Yes," Norris replied. "And I must say I can't wait to introduce you to everybody."
"I look forward to that, Norris," Katy said, winking at Reet.
Reet quickly got out of the car before Katy dropped them in it and hurried to open the front door. The other two followed her lead, Katy more anxious to get inside than she let on. "Peasant can take the luggage upstairs then you can park in the garage." She made her way up the stairs and went straight into the lounge to pur herself a very large vodka which she downed in one.
"Nice little flat," Katy observed. "Which is your bedroom?"
Reet rounded on her. "For crying out loud! Can't yer even wait till the peasant's gone before trying to get me into bed?"
"I only asked," Katy replied, completely shocked. "No need to be like that, Reet. As I'll be living here for the foreseeable future I have a right to know what's what, don't you think?"
Reat heard loud thuds on the stairs. "For appearances yer sleep in the guest room, got it?"
"What does it matter?" Katy asked. "Who's to know?"
"Who's to know what?" Norris said catching his breath.
"Him for starters," Reet snapped. "Nosey little runt. Aren't yer, peasant?"
"I only take an interest in my surroundings," he protested.
"At the expense of everyone else," Reet barked. "Put me trunks in me room and Katy's in the guest room."
"As you wish," Norris sighed then departed for his next journey.
"Surely he won't just come up the stairs and barge into your bedroom," Katy snorted.
"Wanna bet?" Reet cocked an eyebrow. "And with him sniffing around yer he'll be more likely to do it."
"Then get a door fitted at the top of the stairs with a lock," Katy suggested. "That will keep him out."
"What is it with yer?" Reet gasped. "Things are fine as they are."
"Then you'll have no objection to all your friends finding out how much we love each other since you don't care about our privacy," Katy pointed out. "Norris can come up here, find us together, hate us for the rest of his life for using him and tell everyone after he's resigned and demanded you buy his share of the shop back. There's no way he'll want to work with you after that and you won't be able to assault him."
Reet poured herself another drink. "Having his share back sounds an excellent idea. But do yer have to be so flamin' logical?"
She crossed to Reet and held her in her arms. "One of us has to be if you don't want the truth to come out." She kissed her tenderly. "Though one day it will. You realise that, don't you?"
"Not if I can help it," Reet stated resolutely then sighed. "Okay. I'll get a door."
Katy beamed. "You won't regret it, darling." She kissed her passionately.
Reet pushed her away. "The peasant's coming."
"How are you doing, Norris?" Katy asked.
"There's still a lot of her trunks in the car," he panted. "I'll be at it all night."
Katy smiled knowingly at Reet after that remark. "I'll come and give you a hand then I'll put the car in the garage. I don't know about Reet but I could certainly do with going to bed."
Reet downed her vodka quickly realising what she had to do again to keep Katy on side. "Me too. It's been a long day."
"You go now, Reet," Katy suggested. "You look exhausted. I'll be back shortly and join you."
Reet's eyes widened and she shot a look at Norris who appeared to be oblivious to that comment. "I'm all right for the moment."
"Have you put fresh linen on the bed?" Norris wondered.
"I beg yer pardon?" Reet spluttered.
"In Katy's room," he said innocently.
"Oh," she said, feeling foolish so would take it out on Norris later. "No. I'll do that now."
"I can do it," he offered.
"Perv!" she screeched.
"Nothing of the sort, Reet," he told her. "With you in bed it means I can spend a bit more time with Katy."
"I'LL do it," Reet replied. "The sooner yer out of here the better!"
"Amen to that," Katy mouthed to Reet. "Come along, Norris. Let's get the rest of that luggage up then you can get home yourself."
Reet narrowed her eyes as she watched them both depart. "Better do those sheets," she said to herself, snatching up the bottle. "With luck Katy will be sleeping in them more than mine."
After a while Katy returned minus Norris. She looked for Reet and saw her bending over the bed tucking the sheet in and decided to creep up on her. "God you're so sexy", she breathed, slapping her enormous backside.
Reet turned round with a start. "All done?"
"Oh yes," Katy beamed, pulling Reet's scarf off and throwing it over her shoulder.
"Peasant gone?" Reet continued, trying her best to ignore this latest seduction.
Katy nodded. "I told him we didn't want to be disturbed but may see him later." She draped her arms around Reet's neck and pulled her closer. "Now we're all alone at last."
Reet swallowed hard. "We certainly are."
"I love you so very much," Katy whispered before lunging her tongue down her throat and pushing her onto the bed.

The weeks passed. Katy had made herself very much at home and became friendly and popular with the locals much to Reet's chagrin. She was true to her word and continued seeing Norris despite only having eyes for Reet. It was two days before Christmas and the day of the wedding arrived. Katy had invited a couple of her friends to be witnesses leading to awkward questions from Norris about the sleeping arrangements with Katy supposedly in the spare room. He seemed to accept their explanation about a sofa bed. Reet was locked in the bathroom staring into the mirror, deep thoughts disturbed by a knocking on the door.
"Darling? Are you all right?" Katy asked concerned. "You've been in there hours. Not gone down the plughole I hope."
Reet sighed. "I'll be out shortly."
"Okay, darling," Katy replied. "Your breakfast's on the table."
"Right," Reet said. "Thanks." She returned to her reflection. "Better get this charade over with." She began to open the door then stopped as she heard Katy and her friends talking about her so listened through the crack.
"I'm telling you, Kate," Jane was saying, "she's using you."
"Don't be ridiculous," Katy snorted. "Reet loves me."
"Has she actually said it?" Brenda asked.
"Of course she has," Katy snapped.
"How many times?" Jane asked.
"Well, once," Katy was ashamed to admit. "But she told me when you get to her age you don't have to say how much you love someone but show it." Jane and Brenda looked at each other. "I wouldn't be marrying her if she didn't love me and she's shown it often enough."
"Then why hasn't she come out?" Brenda said. "Surely if she loved you as much as you think she'd be shouting it from the rooftops."
"It's complicated," Katy defended, but knew deep down they were right. "She will when the time's right. If she was straight she wouldn't have done half the things she has in bed. She wouldn't know how."
Jane pulled a face. "We'll take your word for that but no graphic descriptions please."
Katy laughed. "She's the best I've ever had."
"Isn't she a bit old though?" Brenda noted. "How old did you say she was?"
"Seventy-five," Katy told her. "But so what? It's not age that matters it's how much you love each other. Reet's the most wonderful woman I've ever met."
"She's more likely to drop down dead than you are then," Jane said.
"She's in excellent condition," Katy sighed, dreamily. "Looks are definitely deceiving in her case. She has the energy of a twenty year old. She's some woman."
They heard the toilet flush.
"She's coming," Brenda whispered.
Reet came out of the bathroom and went into the kitched, throwing her arms around Katy and gave her an enormous kiss. "Sorry about that, sweetheart. Got jelly legs like I did for all me weddings."
"Katy told us you'd married men," Jane said with a clear tone in her voice.
"That's right," Reet said, sitting beside Katy and taking her hand. "I were in denial then." She gazed into Katy's eyes. "This time I'm really marrying for love."
"Oh, Reet!" Katy squealed with excitement as they kissed again. "I couldn't be more happier than I am today."
"I'm glad," Reet schmoozed, tenderly stroking her face.
"Are many of your friends coming to the wedding?" Jane asked.
"No," Reet snapped.
"Why not?" Jane went on.
"Because they're all a load of bigots if yer gay," Reet replied. "When the writers turned Todd Grimshaw gay they all showed their true colours. They only like yer round here if yer straight or camp which is why they haven't turned on the peasant yet."
"And he's very camp," Katy chuckled.
"I'm not having their cracks," Reet continued. "They can be so nasty and yer know how sensitive Katy is. I'm not putting her through that. So until she dumps the peasant and I sell the shop then we can move away and live in peace, no one must know."
"Well it's your decision and if Katy's happy then we are," Brenda conceded, though still didn't trust Reet as far as she could throw her which wouldn't be far.
"I am," Katy told them. "We've got everything planned so be happy for us."
"We are, Kate," Jane lied. "About time you settled down with someone."

And so Reet and Katy became wife and wife. Katy had never been happier while Reet grinned like the cat who'd got the money. After celebrating in Canal Street which made Reet very uncomfortable but she reasoned she could put up with anything for twenty million pounds, they all returned to Coronation Street that night and went to the Rovers.
"Champagne all round," Jane ordered.
"Celebrating summat?" Liz asked.
"Katy and Reet got married today," she announced resulting in a deathly silence descending among the drunken masses.
"Th-they did what?" Norris stammered, temper beginning to rise.
Reet wanted to die. "Did yer put her up to this?" she hissed furiously in Katy's direction.
"No, Reet, honestly," Katy replied on the brink of tears.
"Got married," Jane repeated. "It was a lovely ceremony. I'm glad Kate's found someone who really loves her at last. Come on, you two. Don't be shy. Look at the blushing brides. Reet, give your beloved a kiss. Something like you did at breakfast. Show them all how happy you both are."
Reet seethed. "I refuse to take part in yer twisted games, lady. Now stop embarrassing Katy and grow up!"
"You weren't that backward in coming forward this morning when you had your tongue down her throat," Jane continued, enjoying every second of this humiliation. "Why don't you show them your rings?" She turned to the crowd. "They match. Isn't that sweet?"
"I-is this true?" Norris asked.
"Oh, shurrup, peasant, and keep out of things that don't concern yer!" Reet snapped.
"I think due to the fact I had been courting Katy this does concern me," he countered.
Katy suddenly kissed Reet. "Yes, it's true. We love each other and now it's legal. Sorry for using you, Norris. You're very nice really. But how else was I going to get close to Reet?"
"Katy!" Reet gasped in horror.
"What's the matter, darling?" she asked. "High time it was all in the open. We've been sneaking around for months."
Norris was stunned. "Months? How long's this been going on?"
"Since Venice," Katy told him proudly.
"But you fell out," he noted.
"Yes," Katy said. "That was my fault. Reet didn't want you to catch us in bed." Reet closed her eyes, wishing the ground would swallow her up.
He rubbed his forehead in confusion. "I-I don't understand. You continued spending time with me on the ship and here."
"A bluff. Sorry, Norris," she replied. "Reet wanted to keep it secret and making you believe I fancied you was part of it. I did enjoy your company but I preferred Reet's."
"That explains everything," Blanche was heard to say. "No wonder all your friends are women, Reet."
"Now what are yer on about?" she barked, wishing Katy's clammy hands would let her go so she could escape.
"You've obviously had designs on me, Betty and Emily for years," Blanche said.
"Oh, don't be ridiculous!" Reet yelled. "As if I'd lower meself to want owt to do with yer."
"Easy to say now you've been found out," Blanche retorted. "Keep your hands on your ha'pennies, ladies. We've got a sex mad lesbian in our midst."
"Yer talking rubbish as usual, yer sad old bag," Reet barked.
"Your behaviour over the past two years makes perfect sense now," Blanche realised.
"Now what yer on about?" Reet snapped, getting increasingly fed up.
"Why yer were so keen to move in with Emily and then moving that Doreen into your flat," she observed. "You must have been getting desperate, especially with that Doreen. Though I always thought she looked like a lesbian. Did she pounce first? What really happened there? Lovers tiff, was it? That would explain why we hardly see her around now."
"Yer off yer head!" Reet snorted.
"Not as much as you'd like to believe. That's the last time I buy anything from your shop," Blanche continued. "You might try and seduce me over the dolly mixtures."
"Yer should be so lucky!" Reet cried.
"So you finally admit I'm right." Blanche looked smug.
"I admit nowt, yer evil old witch!" Reet yelled. "Yer have yer fantasies if yer like. Just keep me out of them!" She glared angrily at Katy's mad friends, yanked her arm out of Katy's clutches and stormed out.
"Sorry about that," Katy said, completely embarrassed. She went to Jane and pulled her to one side. "Did you have to do that?"
"Yes," Jane replied. "If she loves you as much as you reckon she'll understand it was for the best in the long run. You wanted the world to know as much as we did. Seems she's the only one who didn't."
"I understand your motives and yes, I did want people to know," Katy agreed. "But not like this. You haven't seen her when she's in one of her moods." She inhaled deeply. "Oh well. Better face the music. Best if you two don't return to the flat. I'll pack your things up and leave them at the foot of the stairs."
Jane shrugged. "Suits me. Just remember, we're you're friends. When you discover the truth about her we'll try not to say we told you so."
Katy smiled weakly. "Thanks. But I don't think I have any worries on that score. Good night."

Reet downed vodka after vodka to try and wipe out the ritual humilation she'd endured in the pub until in the end she just guzzled it straight from the bottle. She heard a key in the lock and pulled a face.
"Reet?" Katy called, worried how she would take it out on her. "Oh there you are," she breathed in relief seeing Reet leaning against the sideboard, nearly empty bottle in her hand.
"Yes, here I am(!) she replied bitterly. "Where the hell did yer expect me to be? It is MY flat after all, yer know."
"I know that," Katy said. She reached out to her. "Darling-"
"Don't darling me!" Reet yelled. "Not after that stroke yer pulled tonight with yer mates." She barged past to get herself another bottle from the kitchen.
Katy followed. "I didn't ask them to."
Reet snorted as she unscrewed the cap from the new bottle. "So yer say. But as yer tried it before with the peasant, give me one good reason why I should believe yer now."
Katy watched the love of her life down the vodka as though her life depended on it. "I wouldn't do anything to hurt you, Reet. I love you. What Jane did in the pub came as much as a surprise to me as it did to you. She promised she wouldn't say anything."
"Pity she didn't keep her word then, in't it?" Reet snapped.
"Yes it is," Katy concurred. "She thinks you're using me and you're not gay at all."
Reet needed to think before responding to that one so finished off the bottle then cracked open another. "Then they're clearly not friends if all they want is to cause trouble."
"They've been very good to me over the years," Katy defended. "They're overprotective after seeing me used for my money so many times."
Reet was flabbergasted. "I cannot believe yer defending them after what they did? Can't yer see they want to come between us with their lies?
"That's not true," Katy said desperately. "They only want me to be happy."
Reet sneered. "Well congratulations. They've won because yer such a mug. Now get out of me flat." She turned her back on her and carried on guzzling.
"You can't mean that, Reet," Katy wept. "I thought yer loved me."
"I thought YER loved ME but I were wrong there, weren't I?" she growled.
"I do," Katy implored, tears streaming down her face.
"Not when yer side with them yer don't," Reet stated. "Now clear off!"
"Reet, please-" she begged.
Reet rounded on her. "Yer obviously on their side and think so little of me so it's ME who's been used, lady, not yer."
"That's not true!" Katy wailed.
"Isn't it?" Reet glared at her through narrow eyes making Katy nervous. "I warned yer we'd be finished if yer blabbed and what did yer do?"
"It was Jane!" Katy shrieked.
"Oh, and kissing me before admitting it were denial, were it(?)" Reet shrieked.
"I..." Katy began then knew she was beaten.
"Get outta me sight!" Reet ordered. Katy trudged away heartbroken while Reet went back to her vodka. "Bitch!" Suddenly there was a loud crash. "Now what's the stupid cow gone and done?" She sighed, finished that bottle then went to see. She found Katy struggling for breath on the floor of the bedroom and immediately rushed to her side. Yer can't die yet, she thought. It'd be too suspicious after what happened in the pub. "Katy!" she gasped. "Oh, Katy, love. Whatever's happened?"
"My heart," she said softly. "I'll be out of your way as soon as the attack's passed."
"Don't be so ridiculous," she scoffed. "I didn't mean it. I don't want yer to go."
"Why is it whenever I have an attack yer suddenly all over me?" she asked suspiciously.
"If yer cast yer mind back, I didn't after we fell out," she reminded. "Katy," she continued, stroking her face, "I were angry when I said them things. But can yer blame me? We had a good day till yer mates went and ruined it. The last thing I wanted were to fall out with yer. Believe what yer will, but I love yer, Katy. I would never have gone through with it today if I didn't."
"I do believe you, Reet," Katy told her weakly. "I know I should never have backed Jane up. I just love you so much I wanted everyone to share in our happiness. I see what you mean now about your bigoted neighbours and I truly am sorry. I can understand why you haven't come out before now."
"What about your friends?" Reet asked cautiously.
"They're no friends of mine," Katy spat. "You're right. They just wanted to cause trouble and come between us. Nothing will do that, will it?"
"Not if I can help it," Reet smiled reassuringly. "It's till death do us part, Katy, so we'll be together forever until one of us dies."
"Which will be me," Katy sniffed.
"Now don't talk daft," Reet chastised. "Yer could outlive me yet, yer know."
"We'll see," she said sadly. "I am sorry for everything. What are you going to do about the shop?"
"Open it, of course," Reet told her. "Few may stay away but if they're owt like Blanche Hunt it'll hardly make a dent in me profits."
"And Norris?" she wondered.
Reet paused. "Cross that bridge when I come to it. Now, how yer feeling? Well enough to be put to bed?"
"Yes, thanks, darling," Katy smiled. "So much for our wedding night."
"Plenty of time for that when yer've got yer strength back," Reet told her as she helped her up, into the bedroom and onto the bed. "After all, we've got the rest of our lives together."
Katy lay there smiling up at Reet. "We certainly have."
Reet kissed her forehead. "Yer get some sleep. I'll tidy up and then join yer, okay?" Katy nodded. "Good. Night then."
"Night, darling," Katy beamed.
Reet turned the light off, closed the door and returned to her vodka. "How much longer do I have to go on with this?" she mumbled to herself. She opened another bottle and swigged. "After tonight it must end sooner rather than later."

The following day things had been quiet in the shop as expected. Reet had a few customers angling for some gossip but she managed to bluff her way out of it. She began to get depressed at the thought of all her lost profit thanks to Katy’s friends. It was nearly closing time and finally Norris walked in.
“High time yer showed yer miserable face,” she barked. “Though I were hoping deep down I’d never have to see it ever again.”
“You don’t have to worry on that score, Reet,” he replied. “I’ve only come so we can discuss you buying back my share of the business. After the way you and Katy have betrayed me I don’t want anything further to do with you.”
Her heckles rose. “Oh belt up, yer snivelling, ungrateful peasant!” she screeched.
“And I’ll never have to suffer any more verbal or physical abuse from you either,” he pointed out relieved. “I don’t know why I didn’t leave years ago when I had the chance. You were right. I did manipulate you into selling me a share. I should have just gone and endured less pain. So I shall accept any offer you make. Anything to get as far away from you as possible and find myself a decent, reasonable and kind employer.”
Reet’s face turned purple and she was so close to belting him. “So yer saying yer don’t want to hear me side of it?”
“I’ll never believe anything you say ever again,” he snorted. “So what about this offer?”
Reet mused. “A penny.”
“You aren’t serious,” he scoffed. “You know it’s worth far more than that.
“And yer said yer’d accept owt,” she reminded. “That’s me final offer. Take it or leave it.”
“I’ll leave it till you see sense and make a decent one,” he told her.
“Then yer’ll have a long wait, moron,” she snapped. “And as long as yer not working here, yer shouldn’t get any of the profits either.”
“You’re a fine one to talk about not working, Reet,” he pointed out. “Yet there you were still raking it in.”
“My shop,” she yelled. “Yers is only a MINOR part and don’t yer forget it. Ninety-nine percent is still mine after all, peasant.” He glared at her. “Oh, get out if yer not gonna let me hit yer.”
“Gladly,” he said then left.
“Yer’ll be back!” she called after him. “Even if I have to drag yer back by yer throat!” The door closed and Reet looked daggers towards the back stairs. “Soon. Very soon then I’ll be able to have me fun again with the peasant.”

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 11

Christmas Day arrived dawned. Katy awoke and looked across at Reet who was snoring her head off with her mouth wide open. She lay on her side propped up on her elbow as she gazed adoringly at the love of her life. She couldn't be more happier and also couldn't resist the temptation of ramming her tongue down Reet's inviting throat.
Reet began to choke. "What the hell??!!" she coughed.
"Merry Christmas, darling," Katy schmoozed.
"I hope that's not yer idea of a present," Reet said grumpily.
Katy stroked Reet's cheek lovingly. "I have a much better one for you," she whispered softly.
Reet glanced at the clock. "Is that the time? I have to get up and get that turkey in t'oven." She threw the covers back and hastily got out of bed.
Katy slumped back and sighed. "You're doing it again."
"What?" Reet frowned, tying her dressing gown.
"Making excuses," Katy noted with disappointment.
"If that bird in't in t'oven we'll be having our Christmas dinner at bedtime," Reet told her.
"It's our first Christmas, Reet," Katy whined. "Stuff the turkey!"
"That's precisely what I intend to do," Reet replied.
Katy sighed again. "You know what I mean."
"Don't start," Reet said, an edge to her voice. "Not today. After all, as you say, it's our first Christmas. Don't want owt to spoil it so we're miserable, do we?"
Katy shook her head. "Course not. I only want to make you happy, darling."
"And yer do," she assured. "Once today's over I can focus on being the happiest woman in the world."
"Second happiest," Katy corrected.
"We'll see about that," Reet winked then went to the kitchen.
Katy lay there listening to the racket Reet was making. She was feeling very frustrated and wanted Reet so badly. She pushed the covers back and joined her love, leaning against the wall watching her. "I'm sorry."
"Forget it," Reet dismissed, pouring the boiling water onto the dry stuffing mixture.
Katy folded her arms as an attempt to keep her hands off Reet. "The Rovers are having karaoke tonight. Shall we go?"
"After the way they behaved t'other night?" Reet snorted, stirring the mix in frustration.
"All the more reason to go and show we're not ashamed of what we are, darling," Katy said.
Reet removed the spoon and put it on a saucer. "I'm not sure I feel like it."
"Come on," Katy urged. "It'll be fun."
Reet scowled. "Fun? Yer must be easily amused then."
"If we hide away they'll think we're too ashamed to face them," Katy continued. "In their bigoted minds they'll have won. Do you want that?"
Reet remembered her lost business the day before and shook her head. "All right. Just as long as yer don't expect me to sing."
"Wouldn't dream of it," she smiled.
Reet turned her back on her and began to stuff the turkey. "Good."

Reet and Katy waltzed into the Rovers. A hush descended among the crowd on their arrival while Katy ordered the drinks. The silence unnerved Reet but Katy wasn't bothered.
"Looks like they're on the lookout for a threesome," Blanche noted acidly.
"Ignore her, darling," Katy said to Reet. "She's clearly jealous."
"And how could I possibly be jealous of a couple of sick perverts?" Blanche replied in disgust.
"Because you aren't getting any," Katy retorted.
"I wouldn't want to with you two," Blanche replied, pulling a face. "And don't even begin to get any ideas."
"Do we look desperate?" Katy laughed.
Blanche looked disdainfully from Katy to Reet then back again. "Considering you've taken up with the living dead, I would say you most certainly are. I can't say the same for Reet but you never know with her. Look at Alec Gilroy. Desperation without a shadow of doubt."
Reet pursed her lips and felt sick at the memory. "That's as maybe, but at least I never went chasing after anyone making a show of meself the way yer did with Archie."
"No?" Blanche asked. "I seem to remember a certain redheaded floozy far too many years after qualifying for her bus pass acting like a giddy schoolgirl when Archie showed her the slightest bit of attention last year making sure she got right up Audrey Roberts' nose."
"That's got nowt to do with it!" Reet barked, blood pressure rising.
"Or were you really trying to make Audrey jealous so you could have her yourself?" Blanche went on.
"Why yer miserable, twisted old cow!" Reet hissed, about to lamp her one.
Katy restrained her. "She's not worth it, darling. Come on. There's a couple of seats over there." Katy led Reet to a booth and they sat down. "Don't let her get to you, sweetheart."
"Easier said than done," Reet spat, looking daggers at Blanche.
"It's no good looking at me so lustfully," Blanche told her from a safe distance. "You're not having your evil way with me no matter how drunk I get."
Reet really wanted to belt someone now but unfortunately the peasant would be of no use despite him grinning smugly in the corner at her getting a taste of her own medicine. "One of these days..." she mumbled angrily. "And I'll get that peasant while I'm at it."
"I don't doubt it," Katy winked. "I'll look forward to seeing that."
Reet looked at her. "Ringside seat," she smiled then gulped down her first quadruple vodka.
Katy glanced at the mock-up stage in the corner. "Are we doing a number?"
Reet started on her second glass. "Yer can. Won't get me up there. I already told yer I'm not singing."
"I know you did. Oh go on, darling," Katy pleaded. "It could be fun. I was thinking we could do a duet."
"Of what?" Reet cocked a wary eyebrow.
Katy pondered. "Erm... How about "Three Times A Lady"? I think that's a wonderful song and very appropriate as you most certainly are."
"In't that the one what goes; 'Now that we've come to the end of our rainbow', or summat?" Reet asked. Katy nodded. "Bit sad, in't it?"
"I know we're only just beginning our rainbow," Katy told her sincerely, taking her hand. "But apart from that it could have been written about you."
"Oh go on then" Reet shrugged. "Let me get a few more of these down me first though. I refuse to perform sober."
"That's not what you were saying this morning," Katy reminded, nudging her playfully. "Drunk or sober, darling, I know you'll sing it beautifully. You have the voice of an angel."
Reet forced a smile. "Get 'em in then."

The night wore on and Reet got well and truly off her face as each resident got up and did a turn.
"Happy, darling?" Katy asked Reet.
"Oh, yes," Reet replied. "It doesn't seem real. Pinch me."
"Literally?" Katy chuckled. Reet nodded. "Okay." She did so.
"No, still doesn't seem real," Reet remarked. "Harder."
Katy nipped Reet's arm again. "Now?"
Reet inspected her arm and shook her head. "Try again."
"Are you sure the drink hasn't made your nerves numb?" Katy laughed.
"Possibly," Reet shrugged. "So keep going until I yell."
Katy looked at her nervously. "I don't want to hurt you, darling."
"Yer won't," Reet assured. "Promise. I'm a big girl who's had a lot worse."
"All right," Katy conceded. "But I don't like it." She proceeded to squeeze harder and harder until she got some sort of response.
"Ouch!" Reet yelped. "Now I know I'm not dreaming."
"Are you okay?" Katy asked concerned.
"Absolutely perfect," Reet replied, checking her arm and seeing a red mark. "So, we going to get up there and sing or not?"

Reet and Katy made their way back to the flat arm in arm and laughing. As Reet dug into her bag for the door key, Katy leant against the wall.
"That was fun," she giggled.
"It was," Reet agreed.
"Glad you went?" Katy wondered. "Even though I talked you into singing?"
"Definitely," Reet beamed, unlocking the door and switching the light on.
"How's the arm?" Katy asked as she took it. "That's one hell of a bruise I gave you."
"I did ask yer to do it," Reet smiled. "Only got meself to blame. Now let's get out of this rain. Got a couple more surprises for yer inside."
"Ooh," said Katy excitedly as she followed Reet up the stairs, locking the door behind her. She caught up with her as she was hanging her coat up. "Are you going to give me a clue?"
Reet shook her head. "Patience. All things come to those who wait."
"I waited long enough for you so know all about that," Katy remarked.
"Not that long," Reet reminded. "But it were worth it in t'end, weren't it?"
"I'll say!" Katy beamed.
"So will this be," Reet told her enigmatically. "But first..." she began, heading for the bedroom before re-emerging carrying a whip and furry handcuffs, "time for fun and games!"
Katy's eyes twinkled. "I love fun and games with you. You're so wild and like it rougher than anyone I've ever known."
"Decades of experience after being beaten up by fellas," Reet noted, offering Katy the whip.
"I don't need this to get you to submit," Katy joked. "You're putty in my hands every time."
"Maybe this time I'll play harder to get," Reet winked.
"Like to see you try," Katy laughed, weighing up the whip. She noticed the handcuffs. "Bit worn, aren't they?"
"They've had a lot of use down the years," Reet replied.
"Are you okay wearing them?" Katy asked. "Don't want to end up with more bruises."
Reet pulled her sleeve up. "Already got them."
"Oh, darling," Katy gasped. "I'm so sorry."
"What for?" Reet frowned. "I'm not complaining. Besides, didn't yer say I like it rougher than anyone yer've known?"
"Well," Katy mused, "possibly less than Norris but he's not my type."
Reet burst out laughing. "He's no one's type except his own reflection. Now enough of this. How's that whip?"
"Same as usual," Katy said, cracking it.
"Ow!" Reet cried, clutching her face.
Katy dropped the whip and rushed to her side. "Are you all right?"
"Of course I'm not all right!" Reet yelled, tears of pain streaming down her face.
"Let me look," Katy said.
Reet forcibly pushed her away. "Don't touch me!" She made her way to the mirror and removed her hand to inspect the damage. She turned to face Katy.
Katy gasped again, covering her mouth. "Reet, darling."
"Hmm," was all Reet said.
"Do you think it will scar?" Katy asked.
"Probably," Reet replied. "Looks deep enough."
"I am so, so sorry, darling," Katy said earnestly.
"Yer will be," Reet told her, eyes narrowed.
Katy swallowed nervously. "My turn to be thrown down the stairs? I'll save you a job and jump."
"Oh no," Reet said, shaking her head. "Yer not getting out of it that easily. I should be thanking yer."
"Thanking me?" she echoed, confused.
"Yes. For making it so easy and quicker than I anticipated. Yer fell right into me trap," Reet explained smugly. "What's a few scars and bruises when I'll be twenty million quid better off?"
"I don't understand, darling," Katy said.
"This is yer first surprise," Reet squealed gleefully. "I'm not a lesbian. I don't love yer. I don't even fancy yer."
"You do love me!" Katy screeched. "You told me! You married me!"
"Yer thought all this time yer were manipulating me into doing what yer wanted, including that civil partnership ceremony. Wrong, lady. I were always in the driving seat," Reet continued. "Truth is, yer and yer lifestyle repulse me. Yer lucky I weren't sick all over yer every time I had to let yer touch me. If it weren't for yer money I wouldn't have entertained thoughts of what Blanche would so eloquently call a perverted nature."
"You didn't think it was so perverted this morning," Katy sobbed. "You bloody well enjoyed every second of it and don't try to deny it."
"No, yer right," Reet conceded. "I did enjoy it. But do yer honestly think I were thinking of yer this morning or any time yer touched me or I had to touch yer? I like MEN, not women. So thanks to the fun and games we've had over the past couple of weeks, not to mention the latest bruises and scars tonight, I can safely restore me reputation after making out yer were abusive."
"They'll never believe a word," Katy scoffed.
"Wanna bet?" Reet raised an eyebrow. "I know that lot better than yer ever will. They've seen me battered and bruised in the past so I can always put on an act. I can tell 'em yer forced me into it with torture and show 'em the old scars. They'll believe owt round here. They're daft enough."
"Brenda and Jane were right about you," Katy said, the enormity of this betrayal finally hitting her.
"Congratulations," Reet grinned. "Finally caught on. Course since yer cut them out yer life there's not much they can do about contesting the will." She thought for a while. "I suppose I should thank the peasant an' all really. After all, he did bring me and yer twenty million together."
"You're not getting one penny of that!" Katy yelled, wincing as she felt a stab in the chest. "I'll make damn sure of it."
Reet noticed her fight her pain and smiled inwardly. "Yer such a mug. Easiest one I ever snared. Thanks for the cash, Katy. I'll take good care of it."
"I loved you!" Katy wailed. "I gave you everything."
"I know yer did," Reet agreed. "And soon I'll have the contents of yer bank account so yer giving will be complete. More fool yer I say if yer that desperate for a shag yer go after anyone with a pretty face."
Katy winced again. "You think so? Then why didn't I pick up someone else on the cruise? I didn't have to settle for a cruel, obese, dried-up old bag like you."
Reet laughed. "Because no one else'd be stupid enough to want yer, that's why. Well except the peasant but he always were a toffee whirl short of a jar."
"You wanted me!" Katy said.
"I wanted yer cash!" Reet countered. "Yer were ideal. Rich and could drop dead any time. Me dream romance. Why else do yer think I wed Ted Sullivan? His sexual prowess?" She looked her up and down with a curled lip. "Come to think of it, yer not that much different in bed either and he were half dead at the time."
"You evil bitch!" Katy screamed, slapping Reet so hard across the face you could hear her neck crack before crying out in agony and collapsing to the floor.
Reet stood over her rubbing her cheek. "Thanks for that too. It stings so much I reckon that'll be a lovely shade in the morning."
"Please, Reet," she breathed. "Get my medication. I'll forgive you this if you bring the drugs." Reet shook her head and sat in the chair, legs crossed. "Help me!"
"Sorry," Reet told her. "The only person I'm going to help is meself - to all yer cash."
"You can't just let me die!" Katy gasped, struggling for breath as her chest got tighter.
"That's the other surprise!" Reet exclaimed joyfully leaning forward, arms outstretched.
Katy let her head drop to the floor. "I wish I'd never met you," were her final words as she breathed her last and her heart stopped.
"Too late. Yer did.," Reet said, checking she was dead. "And what a blissful union it were an' all. Me and all them millions." She got up and poured herself a large vodka then went back to the mirror. "Yes, they're coming along very nicely," she said to herself then turned back to Katy, glass raised. "Merry Christmas and thanks for the best present I've ever had."

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 12

A couple more drinks later Reet was ready for the performance of her life. She checked once more Katy wasn't going to suddenly spring back to life, composed herself then left the flat. She rushed over to number three, eyes streaming, nose dripping and hammered on the door.
"Reet!" Norris exclaimed in shock after answering the door. "You look awful. Whatever's happened?"
"It's Katy," she grizzled. "She's dead." Then she pretended to faint.
"Oh dear," Norris said looking at the prone form of Reet. "Emily!" he called up the stairs. "Emily!"
"What is it now, Norris?" Emily answered testily.
"It's Reet," he explained. "She's lying on the street. Said Katy's dead. I can't manage her by myself."
Emily came down the stairs and took a sharp intake of breath when she saw the battered and bruised mess that was Reet's face in the half-light. "I think we'd better bring her round where she is. Go and get some brandy." She knelt on the ground. "Reet? Reet?"
Norris returned and handed the glass to Emily. "That should wake her up. You know what she's like when it comes to alcohol."
Emily glared at him then put the glass to Reet's mouth. Reet coughed. "You're right."
"I usually am when it comes to her," Norris remarked.
"Where am I?" Reet asked groggily.
"On the cobbles," Emily replied. "Have you hit your head?"
"I don't know," Reet sobbed. "Can yer help me up? I think I'm lying in a puddle."
"Of course," Emily said. "Norris, come and give me a hand."
"All right," he sighed. "I just hope I don't pull a muscle."
Reet pursed her lips, desperate to belt him but knew she had to be restrained and play the victim. "Thanks," she wept before remembering herself and cried out on pain.
They helped her into the warm and as the hall light shone on Reet, Emily was visibly shocked when she saw the true extent of the marks. "Have you been attacked?"
"Yes," Reet sniffed as they eased her onto the sofa.
"Who did it?" Norris asked, for once showing concern rather than his usual nosiness.
Reet paused for effect. "Katy," she wailed, burying her head in her hands.
"And you killed her?" Norris then asked.
Reet shot her head up. "Of course I didn't!" she snapped. "What do yer take me for? Her heart gave out as she was in mid-hit. She dropped dead in front of me eyes."
Norris sat opposite her. "You can always plead self defence."
"I did nowt!" she yelled. "I'm the victim here. I don't need to defend meself. Yer won't find a mark on her cos she was the bully." She composed herself and sighed heavily. "Yer should count yerself lucky she weren't interested in yer. Yer could've ended up like me. She had such a vicious streak which didn't come out until she'd got me where she wanted."
"But you married her," he unhelpfully reminded. "Well not married exactly. But you know what I mean. She couldn't have been all that bad for you to go through with it."
Emily nodded. "He does have a point there, Reet."
Reet was gobsmacked. "I thought yer were supposed to be me friends. Well, yer Emily at least. The peasant's a peasant."
"We are," Emily placated.
"Looks like it," Reet said bitterly, turning on the waterworks again. "Yer have no idea what that woman put me through since we were on Aurora. Yer know what kicked her off tonight?" They shook their heads. "I found out she's been slipping stuff in me drinks. I'm not gay. Everyone knows that. She were obsessed." She turned to Norris. "Remember when I fell out with her on board?" He nodded. "That's cos she came onto me just before yer knocked on t'door. I don't know what happened but t'next thing I knew we were friendly again."
"I thought Katy announced the other day you got together in Venice," he observed, puzzled.
Reet snorted. "In her head. If yer cast yer mind back again, moron, yer'll remember I were shocked and embarrassed by all that in t'pub. She made up all sorts of lies to cover up what she were doing and forced me to go along with it."
"She did seem to enjoy seeing me ill-treated by you on the cruise," he recalled while having doubts about her story considering Reet had made him nurse his own lumps and bruises over the years.
She broke down again. "I'm getting old. I haven't got the fight in me I did when Harry, Len and Alan belted me. I only want a quiet life so went along with everything she did. She'd handcuff me to the bed while she had her evil way with me. I hated every second of it. I felt violated."
Emily touched Reet's arm making her wince. She pulled the sleeve up. "Oh, goodness," she gasped, seeing the bruises.
Norris peered closer. "Didn't Katy do something to your arm in the Rovers? I heard you yelp."
Reet sniffed and nodded. "Now do yer believe I'm the innocent party and she weren't the sweetness and light she gave the impression of being? She had everyone fooled."
"I wasn't sure if you'd agreed otherwise, despite our present differences, I would have said something. What did she do it for?" he wondered.
"Because I refused to sing in that stupid karaoke so she forced me by hurting me. She only stopped when I agreed," she lied as the tears rolled.
"A-Are you quite sure she's dead?" he asked.
She better be, Reet thought. "I don't know," she wailed. "She were staring at me and didn't seem to be breathing. I didn't check. I wanted to get as far away from her as I could."
"That's understandable," Emily sympathised. "Norris, go and check and if she is, call the police."
Reet panicked. "Police? What do we need them for?"
"So they don't blame you for what happened," Emily explained. "I'm sure once they've seen your scars and bruises they'll know you did nothing."
Reet sighed. "I hope so. I've already been locked up over summat stupid. Don't want to go through that again."
"I'm sure you won't" Emily assured. "Well, go on, Norris."
"Okay," he sat then left them to it.
Emily handed Reet a tissue. "Everything will be all right in the end, you know."
"I certainly hope yer right," Reet sobbed then blew her nose.

Meanwhile Norris gingerly entered the flat and examined Katy's body. "Well she's dead all right. Reet was right. Not one mark on her," he said to himself then looked around the room for evidence of a struggle but was disappointed to find none. "I won't let her get away with this," he vowed, looking at Katy.

Word spread about Katy's demise and physically abusing Reet. Most changed their hostility towards her back to sympathy except Blanche. They were all being nosey as a police car had been outside Emily's for several hours. Finally the door opened and they all craned their necks for a better view as Reet followed the officers out and stepped into the back of the car.
"What do you think happened?" Ken wondered, shocked as much as Emily had been on seeing the swollen face of his former lover.
"Foreplay went wrong obviously," Blanche retorted.
"Mother!" Deirdre chastised.
"What?" Blanche asked innocently. "Now Reet's single again she better not get any ideas about me and her, that's all." Deirdre rolled her eyes and went back inside. "Now what have I said?"
"You can be so tactless sometimes," Emily said.
"Only sometimes?" Ken remarked.
"I'm not going to stand here all night," Blanche said. "I daresay we'll find out all about Reet and Katy's perverted habits in the morning. Norris is bound to tell us all about it." With that she went back into number one.
Ken growled in frustration. "She gets worse." Emily nodded in agreement. "How's Reet?"
"Not too good I'm afraid," Emily told him. "She's a broken woman and I wouldn't be surprised if she never trusts any stranger ever again."
"Why have the police taken her away?" he asked. "They don't think she had anything to do with Katy's death, do they?"
"No," Emily said. "They were very good when they questioned her inside. They want her to make a statement and take photographs of her injuries. She wouldn't let me go with her but should hopefully be back by breakfast time."
Ken nodded sadly. "Hopefully. Are you going back to bed?"
"I wouldn't be able to sleep with all this going on," she replied.
"Me neither," he agreed. "Mind if I wait with you? I'm sure Reet wouldn't mind seeing another friendly face."
Emily smiled. "I shall be glad of the company."

Over at Weatherfield police station, while Reet was being photographed, Norris was giving his statement before returning home. Then it was Reet's turn in the interview room. After far too many hours and becoming practically dehydrated from all the crocodile tears, she was taken back to Emily's.
"Everything all right?" Emily asked, concerned.
Reet nodded. "Hello, Ken."
"Reet," he said, smiling weakly.
"Where's the peasant?" she wondered, having an enormous bone to pick with him.
"Looking after the shop," Emily replied. "He said it was the least he could do."
"I bet," Reet snorted.
"What's happening?" Emily went on.
"Preliminary post mortem results came through," Reet told them, reaching for the brandy. "Said Katy died of natural causes so yer can tell that to anyone who asks. I did nowt to her and there were no marks on her body, just like I told yer."
"I didn't doubt you for a minute, Reet," Emily assured.
"Course not(!)" she snorted again then downed the brandy. "I can't face going back to me flat yet. Can I stop here for a bit?"
"Well..." Emily hesitated.
"Oh I get it," Reet snapped, on the brink of tears. "Yer don't want a repeat performance of what happened last time. Or do yer believe Katy's lies and think I'm going to jump yer?" She slammed the glass down. "Fine. I'll find somewhere else to stay. So much for friends or Christian charity." She stormed to the front door.
Ken dashed after her. "Reet. I'm sure Emily didn't mean it like that."
Emily had joined them. "I didn't. I was thinking more of what Norris would say as you're not on the best of terms at the moment. I know you well enough after all these years to realise you simply aren't capable doing of the things they're implying. But it's my house so of course you can say as long as you like."
Reet slumped on bottom of the stairs. "What am I going to do? Thanks to that bitch people are thinking all sorts about me which is wrong. I'm not like her. Women have never interested me but that lot out there think worse of me than they did after I were accused of battering Chesney. Why did she have to do it to me? Why? I were kind to her on the ship and this is how she repaid me. She's ruined me whole life more than Alan."
Ken squeezed beside her and gave her a hug. "You'll bounce back. You always do."
"Not this time," she sobbed, burying her head in his shoulder. "I'm finished. She made sure of it."
Ken indicated to Emily to leave them alone.
"I'll give you a bit of breathing space so you can collect your thoughts," Emily said, reaching for her coat and bag. "I'll tell Norris to stay at the shop too so you can get some peace and quiet."
Reet raised her head. "Thanks," she smiled through the tears.
"I'll be back this evening. Bye," Emily continued then let herself out.
Ken took a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped Reet's tear-stained face. "What are you going to do?"
"I wish I knew," she sighed, rubbing her forehead. "Thanks for being here, Ken. It's very much appreciated."
"If I wasn't here I'd be in a cell for murdering Blanche after the things she was saying when you went to the police station," he replied.
"It's only what they're all thinking," Reet observed sadly.
"Not any more," he assured.
"So yer admit they did," she remarked. "I'm not surprised after the way Katy behaved. I wish I'd never met her. She's so evil."
Ken hugged her tighter. "At least she'll never be able to hurt you or anyone else ever again."
"Which has got to be the only positive thing to come out of all this mess." She looked up at him then they locked in a passionate embrace.

A couple of hours later Reet awoke in bed. She looked round and saw Ken staring at her.
"Sleep well?" he asked.
"Very," she smiled. "I know. Deirdre must never find out."
"Bit different to the last time we ended up like this," he remembered, grinning. "You're still the same, Reet."
"So are yer," she told him, starting to feel sick while worrying about splinters.
He brushed a curl away from her face with his finger. "Not that I had any doubts for a second, but you are definitely only interested in men."
She blinked, surprised at that comment. "That's a daft thing to say if yer never believed I'd been given a personality transplant and turned gay. Or were getting me into bed just testing?"
"Of course it wasn't," he defended. "It just happened. I know it shouldn't have but I don't regret it, Reet. I've remained very fond of you since we went our separate ways all those years ago. I still fancy you if you must know. Even after all these years you're an incredibly sexy and attractive woman." "
"Can't argue with yer there," she beamed. "I'm glad it happened too. It'll take me a while to get over what she did to me these weeks but I'm feeling better already. Much more me old self after her pawing."
He leaned over and kissed her. "I'm glad to have been of help. You're not by any chance having a relapse?"
She laughed heartily. "Viagra still working then?"
"I don't need any when I'm with you," he said softly down her ear.
"I should think not," she winked. "I'm sex personified."
"You always were," he breathed then kissed her passionately again as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Another few hours passed and Reet and Ken finally got dressed. They went downstairs.
"Thanks for that," she said sincerely, hand on the latch. "I'm now me again one hundred percent."
"Good," he smiled, running his fingers through his fringe. "I'll go and relieve Norris then."
"Careful, you'll be knackered after all that relieving today," she winked.
He laughed. "Are you sure you want to see him?"
She nodded. "Better get it over and done with."
He gazed deeply into her eyes and gently held the back of her head. "Any time you need an escape, you know where I am."
"I should after all these years," she chuckled. "First fella from this street I slept with and most likely the last. Some achievement there, Barlow."
"I always thought you and Len-" he began.
She shook her head. "Not till Harry threw me out after giving me a thumping. Good job he never knew what we'd got up to over yer desk at Bessie Street. Len either for that matter. Yer'd have lost all yer teeth."
"Then I'm very happy they didn't." He couldn't resist the urge to kiss her again.
"What are yer going to tell Deirdre?" she asked when they broke apart.
"That I was round here because you needed a friend," he told her. "Nothing else. I love Deirdre but you'll always be special to me."
She smiled sweetly. "That's what a girl wants to hear." She opened the door. "Thanks again, Ken."
"My pleasure," he replied. "See you later."
He left. She shut the door and went into the living room to wait for Norris. The wait wasn't too long. Within five minutes she heard the door open and watched with hooded eyes as he nervously approached her.
"K-Ken said you wanted to speak to me," he stammered.
"I most certainly do, peasant," she barked. "And I think yer know what it's about."
He swallowed. That look he'd become so familiar with had returned. "I only answered their questions."
She furiously got to her feet. "Yer accused me of violence not only towards yer miserable, pathetic little self, but also that bitch!" She went to the kitchen and came out holding a frying pan tightly. "I am not violent!" she screamed, belting him constantly with it. "If I were owt like that yer'd certainly be the first to find out! Don't yer ever try and make out I'm violent ever again or yer'll be sorry, peasant, in more ways than yer could ever dream of!"

And so life returned to normal for Reet with her reputation as a man-eater well and truly restored. Katy was buried so Reet could dance on her grave. The will was read and it turned out Katy had lied about her wealth. It wasn't twenty million at all but nearer fifty after tax. Reet was even more delighted all her efforts hadn't been wasted and tormented Norris more than usual to celebrate.

The End