DH Season 4 Spoilers, News, Gossip

[Lane Kent]

Spoilers are starting to come in thick and fast, some may come to nothing, others are likely to happen, so you take your pick and decide for yourself, what you think is true and what you don't. I don't guarantee anything.

Only read further if you want to know and be spoiled

I can't give a source at this stage as the following spoilers come from all over the web, many of them saying the same things so hard to establish who is the originator. All jelled together and re-written by me in my own words.

EPISODE ONE

Set one month season 3's finale.

There's a new family moving to Wisteria Lane for Season Four. Dr. Adam Mitchell is a gynocologist, he is meant to be a dish. His wife Katherine is much older than him. His stepdaughter Dylan is 17 and reports suggest he may be sleeping with her. These reports date back to early June. In the first episode of the new season Susan will go to her gynocologist only to discover her usual one is away, she will find herself treated by Adam. She doesn't feel comfortable with her neighbour treating her. This again has been stated since early June. However latest reports coming from the States in the last week or so are now suggesting that Susan may have a past with Adam and while the rest of Wisteria Lane fall head over heals in love with Adam, Susan doesn't like or trust him. This info along with the rumour that Susan is pregnant aren't so certain.

The Mitchell house has a locked room, in which daughter Dylan is desperate to look inside, however Katherine is adamant that no one is going in that room, a room Katherine remembers all to well from when she lived on Wisteria Lane previously. Dylan tries to argue to see in the room but with no success. Adam will become suspicious and concerned by his wife's attitude to the room.

Katherine Mitchell - while Katherine's husband is reported to be a re-occuring character, Katherine herself and her daughter are to be central characters for a good chunk of Season 4 with the season mystery centred around them.

Katherine and daughter Dylan lived on Wisteria Lane 12 years previously. Katherine and Bree soon come to blows as they are so similar to one another, each competing at being the best cook, the best homemaker, the best parent etc. Katherine is as uptight as Bree if that is possible and is soon bringing Bree down a peg or too while absulutely infuriating Bree.

Just like Bree however, Katherine has a less than innocent daughter.

Dylan - Dylan and Julie were very friendly, perhaps even best friends, from when Dylan lived on Wisteria Lane 12 years previously. There will be flashbacks to their time as little children. Also Julie remembers things that Dylan does not such as the fact that Dylan had a serious bike accident when she lived on Wisteria Lane as a little girl. However Dylan is adamant that she didn't ride a bike until after she left the area to go to Chicago.

As well as perhaps sleeping with her stepfather, Dylan is a hussy just like Daniele but with her stepfather as the new womaniser in town, does she have a good role model?

----------

Bree Hodge - is still pretending to be pregnant in readyness to secretly adopt Danielle's baby when it is born. However how long can Bree keep up the charade? She will nearly get found out when shopping a woman tries to touch her enlarged belly.

EPISODE TWO

Lynette Scavo - will begin chemotherepy in this episode. Susan and Gaby will visit her in hospital and Gaby will decorate the room. In episode one Lynette is struggling to keep up with all her committments.

Julie Mayer - Why are the boys at a neighbourhood birthday party so scared when Susan comes to pick up her daughter?

Carlos Solis - Carlos has been hiding money. Now he wants to make it legal as his girlfriend is threatening to report him, however he doesn't want his ex Gaby finding out about the money either, so is taking legal advise.

----------------

GENERAL RUMOURS

The Scavo marriage will continue to be in trouble and Rick may be back? Kayla will continue also to make trouble for Lynette even though Lynette is battling cancer. Lynette's mother will still be about quite regularly.

Edie Britt does not die.

Carlos and Gaby will get back together sometime in Season 4.

Terry Delfino, brother of Mike, was supposed to arrive in Wisteria Lane at the end of Season 3. This wasn't able to happen but it is still though that he and his wife will arrive in Season 4 and be made welcome by Mike, Susan and Julie. He may only be a re-occuring character and he will naturally have problems as this is Wisteria Lane.

Someone is set to die (not known if major or small character) this season. It is expected to happen in February Sweeps (so probably air in the UK end of March early April).

------------------------

That's it for now as more come in I'll add to this thread and please anyone else ad your Season 4 spoilers here.

[sallywebster]

Thanks for the spoilers. Sounds good. Shame we have to wait until January.

[eithne]

They all sound really good. The new family sound interesting. Apparently Katherine Mitchell is played by the actress Marc Cherry wanted to play Bree. Here is a story I got from Digital Spy:

---

Desperate Housewives writer and creator Marc Cherry has revealed his plans to introduce a gay couple to Wisteria Lane in season four.

Cherry - who will use his own life experiences as a basis for the plot - told afterelton.com: "We're going to have the first male desperate housewives.

"They will move into the old Applewhite house, and one of the gay men will just have a fractious, hateful relationship with [Susan Mayer]," he continued.

"Susan wants to be so politically correct and show how open-minded she is, that she puts her foot in her mouth instantly and it goes downhill from there. I'm basing it a little bit on my relationship with my neighbours."

He added: "We've just started writing the episodes, so I probably won't start casting for another few weeks."

Production has already begun on the fourth season of the hit ABC drama, which is due to kick off its 23-episode run in the US on Sunday, September 30.

---

Also Gaby's new husband is supposed to be around for most of the season. I'm surprised by all the new characters they are bringing in, although I'm guessing most of them will be recurring rather than main. I wonder if Katherine will be a new housewife (i.e. are five becoming six?) or will she be more secondary like Betty was. When she joined I thought she was going to be a major character like Susan, Lynette etc. but in the end she wasn't.

[Lane Kent]

Miscellanous news Episode 4.01: Now You Know
USA Airdate: 30th September 2007

From Spoiler Fix

A new family is moving to Wisteria Lane this fall, but not everyone's rolling out a welcome mat. Katherine Mayfair lived on the block 12 years ago with her daughter, Dylan, and aunt, Mrs. Sims (Ellen Geer), but left under mysterious circumstances. Now she's back with her teenage daughter and her second husband, Adam, a hunky gynecologist. Ostensibly, they returned to take care of the dying Mrs. Sims, but like all new characters on Desperate Housewives, the Mayfairs harbor a dark secret that will be revealed as the season progresses. Says creator Marc Cherry: "They had to leave Chicago because something unsavory happened in Adam's professional life." Katherine's a perfectionist and a control freak. She's reviled by all Wisterians - particularly Bree, who by Episode 2 will go spatula to spatula with her over a lemon meringue pie recipe. "I always wanted to come up with a character everyone loves to hate," Cherry says, adding that he modeled Katherine after J.R. from Dallas and Amanda from Melrose Place. Through flashbacks, Katherine will also offer viewers a chance to look into Wisteria Lane's lurid past. [... Nathan] Fillion won't say whether [his] "interaction" [with the ladies] will involve any illicit affairs. He will tell us that his medical expertise may play a big part in a storyline. "One might extrapolate that if there is an OB-GYN around, someone may have need," he says. [...] At the bottom of the Mayfair family tree is Dylan. She's a goody-goody - cute, polite and well trained. "My mom keeps me on a rigorous schedule and a short leash," Fonseca explains. "Almost like a dog." She also suffers from a bit of memory loss. Twelve years ago, she was BFFs with Susan's daughter, Julie, until her mom decided to skip town. Now she doesn't remember a thing, leaving everyone to suspect that something horrific happened in her childhood. She did grow up on Wisteria Lane, after all. Source: TV Guide Online

-----------
According to Kristin on E!Online, it is a male character who will be killed off during May Sweeps

---------

I'm hearing that a story is brewing with Phyllis Van de Kamp

Edie

S
P
O
I
L
E
R

Doesn't die and is looking like she is pregnant and it is looking like Susan's pregnancy was a false alarm or was just a rumour. There again both could be rumours, both could be true. This is Wisteria Lane afterall

[eithne]

All this sounds good. I wonder who that male character could be though? Orson perhaps?

[Lane Kent]

Okay more un-official spoilers, some confirmed and some not so confirmed.

It does look like Susan is the one who is pregnant but I think we will find out in the first episode for sure.

It is one of the husbands who is going to die, it is thought to be in Feb sweeps. No word on who but I'm thinking it is Adam. I have nothing to base this on, just a feeling. His behaviour is going to cause a lot of trouble on Wisteria Lane. My feeling if I was in their shoes, is that they have already killed off Rex so why another of the main men unless they want to go and I haven't heard of anyone wanting to go. We do know that Adam isn't considered a main character. I could be completely wrong.

The new family are not called Mitchell as originally reported. Instead they are called Mayfair

It is thought that Danielle will give birth to a baby boy in episode 6 or 7.

Carlos and Gaby will continue their affair although she is still married to Victor.

------------------------

EPISODES

Episode 1 - Now You Know
A lot of info already given for this see above but from TV Guide a review

Ausiello on Desperate Housewives
Question: I'm very disappointed! You didn't say anything about Desperate Housewives in last week's AA. — Jose Carlos
Ausiello: I was waiting till I had something to say, and now I do: I've seen the season premiere and, save for the lame resolution of the Edie cliff-hanger, the episode is actually pretty good. All of the actors seem on top of their game, including Dana Delany and Nathan Fillion, who are fantastic as the sorta-new couple on the block. On the spoiler front, I can tell you that this season's big mystery centers on what happened to Delany's daughter (Lyndsy Fonseca) during their early days on Wisteria Lane. There's also a big baby twist, a funny sight gag involving a barbecue fork that underrated funny lady Marcia Cross just nails, and a housewife's death is averted by none other than Mrs. McClusky.

Episode 2 - Smiles of a Summer Night
Lynette kicks Tom out of her chemotherapy sessions, Susan is mistaken for a stripper and Bree attempts to steal a prize-winning recipe. Source: ABC

Episode 3 - The Game
- No Source info from around the net.
Possibly because of Susan and Adam's history, Susan visits another gyno and it is in a poor part of town and very unsavoury. Only Susan could go from bad to worse.
- A sexy young woman while jogging makes eyes at Adam
- Stella makes some pot brownies for Lynette

Episode 4
- Jesse Metcalfe, who plays Gabrielle's hunky lawn boy and lover John, will return to the show in the fourth episode. And John's on a mission: He confesses to Gabby that his marriage is a sham and he wants her back. Meanwhile, Gabby and Victor aren't in newlywed bliss - she's even still seeing Carlos on the side. Source: TV Guide Online

- Gaby also is getting paranoid that Victor has people spying on her and is less than pleased that he has hired a 12 year old to mow the lawn.

Also in this episode Susan meets the new gay couple who have just moved into Wisteria Lane. When she learns the men are life partners, she tries to be well-meaning but puts her foot straight in it. She starts out by saying she doesn't have a problem with that and how open-minded she is and you can imagine where it goes from there. The men are made up of Lee (Kevin Rahm), a fashion conscious guy who has moved to the suburbs under duress. He and Susan do not hit it off at all. His partner Bob (played by Tuc Watkins ) is a gentler more easy going man. These are set to be re-ocurring characters.

Back in July TV Guide wrote

07/31 - According to AfterElton.com, a gay couple will move to Wisteria Lane. "We're going to have the first male desperate housewives," show creator and head writer Marc Cherry told the website. "They will move into the old Applewhite house, and one of the gay men will just have a fractious, hateful relationship with Teri Hatcher." Cherry said he'll draw from his own life for inspiration. "Susan wants to be so politically correct and show how open-minded she is that she puts her foot in her mouth instantly and it goes downhill from there," Cherry said. "I'm basing it a little bit on my relationship with my neighbors." The only thing still up in the air is who will play the new characters. "We just started writing the episodes," Cherry said. "So I probably won't start casting for another few weeks." Source: TV Guide Online

Episode 5
Spoilers/rumours from around the web
- Danielle’s with her grandmother Phyllis and a drama soon unfolds involving Bree and Orson too.
- Edie has hired a Private Investigator
- Adam is more than happy to re-examine a patient's breasts

Episode 6
No source just rumours from around the net
- A Halloween party at Bob and Lee’s house. A very pregnant Danielle turns up.
- Has Lynette got the all clear?
- Susan is worried about an amniocentesis. Not because of her age but because of the big needle. Mike and Susan go see a gynocologist (possibly Susan's 3rd or 4th since season start) and some say it is a genetic counselor.
- We see a flashback of Edie at 8 years old.

Episode 7
No source just info from around the net
- Danielle's baby is born
- Lynette's sisters come to town and we learn a bit more about her background and theirs.

[sallywebster]

Thanks for the spoilers. Looks like a great season to look forward to.

[Lane Kent]

Episode 8 - Tom Scavo could be aobut to cheet on Lynette? He kisses a lady named Sylvia and will later be seen having dinner with her. Source: Kristin on E!Online

Episode 9, currently scheduled for a 2nd December 2007 North American broadcast - A tornado hits Wisteria Lane and will have 2 casulties. Ask Ausiello @ TV Guide

[eithne]

A tornado. Sounds a little OTT. I hope this has a purpose and isn't just for the ratings!

[Lane Kent]

eithne said:

A tornado. Sounds a little OTT. I hope this has a purpose and isn't just for the ratings!

More spoilers can be found here for this episode, I can't read it thoug so cannot tell you what it says or how reliable it is spoilertv-desperatehousewives.blogspot.com/2007/11/episode-409-somethings-coming_8880.html

I don't think tornado's are that far fetched. It all depends where Fairview is supposed to be? If it is in the heart of Tornado area, then these are a regular occurrance.

Agreed though it could be OTT if it is just a ploy for ratings, which it could of well been as it was originally supposed to be planned for November sweeps or thanksgiving weekend. However there is no episode of DH on the 18th November due to some event I forget so this one got pushed back to the 2nd December.

As it happens this tornado episode Something's Coming will probably be the last episode to air until the writer's strike is resolved, so it may well turn out to be the last episode of Season 4 yet, proving a fitting conclusion.

[Lane Kent]

Long time since this thread has been updated, partly because of the strike. Well 10 episodes aired in the end before the strike. Including the two parter tornado episode. Many countries have now caught up with North America. There will be 17 episodes in total this season (originally there was supposed to be around 23).

All official spoilers, promos and sneak peeks can be found in the thread letstalksoap.proboards34.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=housewives&thread=4263&page=1

Below here are just rumours. Some of them will pan out some probably won't.

Desperate Housewives returned to US and Canada screens last Sunday and Irish screens two days ago. Following straight on from the tornado.

- Carlos remains hospitalized after going blind in the storm and pretends it's temporary. "Things get complicated when Gaby shows up with a priest and gets Carlos to marry her," [Marc] Cherry says. Later, jealous Edie will reveal the truth. But says [Eva] Longoria Parker, "As superficial as Gaby is, she might surprise you by standing by her man." Carlos remains hospitalized after going blind in the storm and pretends it's temporary. "Things get complicated when Gaby shows up with a priest and gets Carlos to marry her," [Marc] Cherry says. Later, jealous Edie will reveal the truth. But says [Eva] Longoria Parker, "As superficial as Gaby is, she might surprise you by standing by her man." Source TV Guide

- The tax man cometh to Wisteria Lane, and he's in his late twenties, very sexy and answers to the name Tim. He's also Susan's cousin and, per my Desperate mole, he arrives to help Mike fill out his 1040s and gets into a little mischief along the way. The show is also casting a teenaged version of the character. Apparently, Tim witnessed a tragic event when he was 18, and producers want us to see it! Source Feb 2008 www.tvguide.com/News-Views/Columnists/Ask-Ausiello/default.aspx

Tim is played by The O.C.'s Chris CarmackSource Various

- Before the strike, Adam's secrets had come out. However immediately beginning in episode 11, more of Katherine's secrets will start to emerge and what does Tim know of them? Source Various

- Jason Gedrick's returning as Lynette's pizzeria crush. Much to the Scavo's surprise, homeboy went and opened up his own pizza joint practically across the street!Source March 2008 www.tvguide.com/News-Views/Columnists/Ask-Ausiello/default.aspx

- The Rick spoiler is definately true, he will return in episode 12 and before long Tom is in hot water with the law, rightly or wrongly remains to be seen.Source Various

- Katherine and Bree have a fast falling-out over planning a Founders Day banquet, but they will reconcile once again and launch a catering business together.Source Entertainment Weekly

- Gary Cole is set to play Katherine's ex-husband. Source Various. Whether this is in flashbacks or in the present remains to be seen?

- Mike at long last will learn the truth about his nearly fatal accident two years ago in episode 13 of the current season.Source ABC

- Gaby apparently will return Carlos' Seeing Eye dog [Guide Dog], because it doesn't fit in with their lifestyle! Source Kristin on E!Online

- Gabrielle's house is a crack den! Actually, she's just renting a room to a coke dealer, but when she uncovers the boarder's secret and tries to turn her into the cops, it turns out the cops have already been staking out her house for weeks. Oddly, Carlos and Gaby are not super-duper excited about being in the middle of an undercover drug sting. Source Kristin on E!Online

Rumours suggest Gaby and Carlos's lodger will be played by Justine Bateman of 'Family Ties' fame.

- Tom and Lynette consult a therapist about Kayla after she convinces the boys to jump off the roofSource Kristin on E!Online

- Creator Marc Cherry has hinted that Edie's time on Wisteria Lane is coming to an end. This has heavily been featured on the news wires. Here's one such source. weblogs.newsday.com/entertainment/tv/blog/2008/04/desperate_housewives_big_news.html

- The two-hour finale will include the unveiling of Katherine's secrets and a huge twist ending. What could it be? "How can I describe this without giving it away?" [Marc] Cherry teases. "It's going to be shocking, and it's going to change the whole series." Source Entertainment Weekly


There was a rumour going around the internet that the big twist ending for season 4 was that the series would either go back in time or jump forward 5 years. As this rumour originated on 1st April 2008 (from a TV Guide blog), I personally have never taken much notice of it. Amazing how many times it has been repeated though and people are taking it seriously. Especially the idea of it moving forward. Many fans see that as a plus, as it means jumping forward through Susan and Bree's babies and re-casting all of Lynette's children to teenagers. My personal view is "if it is not broke then don't try fixing it." I guess we will have to wait and see.

Only today the time leap rumours were being re-produced, and are being egged on by actors such as James Denton (Mike Delfino). So it is worthy of a mention.

www.buddytv.com/articles/desperate-housewives/a-possible-time-leap-for-despe-18668.aspx

A Possible Time Leap for 'Desperate Housewives'
Thursday, April 17, 2008
desperate housewivesDesperate Housewives has finally returned to the air on Sunday after being sidelined for more than three months by the writers' strike. But while the show resumed its story two weeks after a tornado hit Wisteria Lane, sources have been buzzing that a serious time leap will soon be in the cards.

Speculations have been brewing that there is a plan to fast-forward the show five years into the future in the closing moments of the season finale and continue from there for the duration of the series, according to TV Guide.

With the possible time leap pending to commence, it's likely that the series would incur some dramatic and drastic changes. As reported previously, there have already been rumors about Nicollette Sheridan, who plays Edie Britt on the dramedy, possibly exiting Desperate Housewives. Although the actress has already broken her silence, hinting that she's not going anywhere, co-star James Denton seems to hint otherwise.

“Other than the four main women, nobody is really too secure. I don't know if you've [heard] there's supposedly a big time jump at the end of this season, either forward or backward a number of years. So we'll lose some cast members. That's what we've been told, so none of us are feeling too smug. We're just waiting to see how it shakes out,” Denton, who plays Mike Delfino, said about show creator Marc Cherry's larger plans.

"I don't know. Maybe Nicollette's renegotiation is coming up and they're leaving the door open just in case it doesn't go as planned," the Desperate Housewives actor added.

So far, Denton has heard all good ideas from the writers of the show. Of course, he still hopes to be one of the cast members that will survive the leap.

“If they go backward [in time], you know, Delfino wasn't even there yet. If they go forward, by then Susan's baby will be 6 or 7 years old and all that stuff, so it's going to be tricky. But I think it'll enable the writers to do some really creative things and sort of reset the show,” he said.

Fans can catch Desperate Housewives, which also stars Felicity Huffman, Eva Longoria Parker, Marcia Cross, and Teri Hatcher, every Sunday at 9/8c on ABC.

www.eonline.com/gossip/kristin/detail/index.jsp?uuid=35503739-bcdf-4ce1-8c53-fcdb1c5c7487
Desperate Housewives to "Reset" Series with Time Jump?
Categories: desperate housewives
James Denton, Desperate Housewives

The ladies and gentlemen of Wisteria Lane returned to ABC’s Sunday night lineup this weekend, and the action picked right back up where it left off three months prior. But sources have been buzzing that a serious time leap will soon be in the cards—one that could change the series dramatically—and a certain friendly plumber seems to have confirmed it's happening.

During an interview with Chicago-based radio station WTMX this past week, James Denton responded to the rumors of Nicollette Sheridan possibly exiting DH. He offered a clue into creator Marc Cherry’s larger plans, saying, “Other than the four main women, nobody is really too secure. I don’t know if you’ve [heard] there’s supposedly a big time jump at the end of this season, either forward or backward a number of years. So we’ll lose some castmembers. That’s what we’ve been told, so none of us are feeling too smug. We’re just waiting to see how it shakes out.”

Denton went on to say that he’s heard some of the ideas the writers are kicking around, and they’re all really great. He hopes to be one of the castmembers that survives the leap: “If they go backward [in time], you know, Delfino wasn’t even there yet. If they go forward, by then Susan’s baby will be 6 or 7 years old and all that stuff, so it’s going to be tricky. But I think it’ll enable the writers to do some really creative things and sort of reset the show.”

As for the rumors Nicollette might go, Denton said he wasn't in the loop on that, though the end of the season storyline does frame things up for an Edie Britt farewell. "I don't know," James said. "Maybe Nicollette's renegotiation is coming up and they're leaving the door open just in case it doesn't go as planned!"

[Lane Kent]

Apr 17, 2008 17:49:03 GMT Lane Kent said:

There was a rumour going around the internet that the big twist ending for season 4 was that the series would either go back in time or jump forward 5 years. As this rumour originated on 1st April 2008 (from a TV Guide blog), I personally have never taken much notice of it. Amazing how many times it has been repeated though and people are taking it seriously. Especially the idea of it moving forward. Many fans see that as a plus, as it means jumping forward through Susan and Bree's babies and re-casting all of Lynette's children to teenagers. My personal view is "if it is not broke then don't try fixing it." I guess we will have to wait and see.

Only today the time leap rumours were being re-produced, and are being egged on by actors such as James Denton (Mike Delfino). So it is worthy of a mention.

www.buddytv.com/articles/desperate-housewives/a-possible-time-leap-for-despe-18668.aspx

snip.

www.eonline.com/gossip/kristin/detail/index.jsp?uuid=35503739-bcdf-4ce1-8c53-fcdb1c5c7487
snip

It would appear now that Marcia Cross (who plays Bree) has been telling chatshow host "Ellen" that it is certainly being considered.

Also the below is a link to an interview with the actress who play s Karen McClusky saying the show is definately moving forward 5 years.

blogs.mysanantonio.com/weblogs/jakle06/2008/04/dishing_with_housewives_visito.html

So maybe it is time to take this rumour seriously. It could of course be an elaborate wind up and the actors are feeding into it, or this could be the real thing? I guess we will have to wait and see.

[Lane Kent]

I've put finale spoilers into a separate thread at letstalksoap.proboards34.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=housewives&thread=5072 as there is quite a lot of them and in case people don't want to see those yet so they can avoid them. It is also going to be a series changing finale this year.

Below is a review of the whole of Season 4 upto the finale which airs in the US tonight.

www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24615961/from/id/24653060/
Babies, weddings, food fights fill ‘Housewives’
‘Desperate’ season zoomed through some plots, let central mystery drag

Danny Feld / ABC
The four main "Desperate Housewives" are finishing up a season that both dragged and zipped by, with major events happening in the blink of an eye and the central mystery plodding.

COMMENTARY
By Mary Beth Ellis
MSNBC contributor
updated 5:25 p.m. ET May 15, 2008
When the residents of Wisteria Lane only have seventeen episodes in which to wreak the usual havoc, who really suffers? The fourth season of "Desperate Housewives," shortened by this winter's WGA strike, was regarded by many fans as a retread of the first: traded-out children, mysterious deaths, a hit-and-run. But there was compensation — the world's longest tornado warning. Only twelve hours until touch down, everyone! Stock up on the bottled water!

Apparently to compensate for the missing episodes, the season sped through its storylines, re-marrying Carlos and Gabrielle in about four minutes and birthing Mike and Susan's baby in less than a quarter of that.

The only plot to drip along slowly was the central mystery: Katherine Mayfair's puzzling return to Wisteria Lane and the true identity of her suspiciously amnesia-prone daughter, Dylan.

There's still the May 18 finale to go, but season four of "Housewives" has offered both elements to love and new characters to hate on sight. Here's a look back at its many ups and downs:

Nudest Husband: Orson. Sleepwalking Orson, who likes to sit in Susan's kitchen in the altogether and confess to attempting to run down Mike. You decide which is more horrifying.

Most Touching Use of a Coaster: Andrew makes a little home for himself in Crackville, and a repentant, worried Bree pays a visit. He busts out a coaster as they sit down to share a drink, and Mama beams, thrilled that she raised her son right. Well. Except for the whole hit-and-run thing, but who cares? The boy's got coasters!

Best '80s Shout-out, Part I: Wayne, Katherine's ex (played by Gary Cole, the boss from "Office Space," sans TPS reports) confirms what was broadly hinted at in the first part of the season: Dylan Mayfair is not, in fact, Dylan Mayfair. He drunk-watches some VHS tapes of her first bike ride from back in The Day. Little Dylan has a scar, Current Dylan does not. But this raises an even bigger mystery: Who seriously still has a VHS player?

Best '80's Shout-out, Part II: Gabrielle and Carlos' new boarder? Justine Bateman, better known as Mallory Keaton, only she's dealing drugs. Alex P. would not approve.

Best '80's Shout-out, Part III: Gabrielle refers to a butched-up Lee as "the lost member of Wham!"

Most Obvious Use of Set: That down-the-street stomp from the four original housewives on their way to inform Edie that she was no longer welcome in their housewifery games was the most produced moment in the history of Wisteria Lane. It was a Jerry Bruckheimer film in Coach pumps.

Worst-Dressed: What was Edie wearing during the above scene? Was that a nightgown, a dress, something out of a cardboard box at The Limited's semi-annual sale, what? It was short and black with many, many lumpy flowers crammed along the neckline, and in general terrifying. Who wouldn't freeze her out?

Most Forward Use of STDs As a Hilarious Plot Device: Let's hear it for crabs! In a live-action illustration of ninth-grade health class, Edie learns that she has crabs, which means that Carlos has them, which means that Gabby has them, which means that Victor has them. Those wacky critters will out you every time.

D'oh! Moment For the Ages: Bree accidentally confirms that Katherine's husband, Adam, has had an affair by mentioning a tattoo which she heard about from his fling-ee. She manages to do this while everyone is trapped in a very tiny room as a tornado rages outside. Awkward.

Most Tragic Loss of Pizza: The throwdown between Tom and Rick in the Scavo's restaurant was quite the food fight. Tables flying, pitchers of water splashing. Many anchovies were needlessly sacrificed.

Best-Dressed: Bree glided through the Founder's Ball in a flowingly gorgeous sapphire blue gown with a jeweled neckline and a handful of salmonella for Katherine. Lovely.

Cringeworthy Moment: We have a tie between Lynette raising her hand in the middle of a sermon at Bree's church (she has a question!) and Gabrielle engaging in a slap fight with a man in a wheelchair over her abuse of Carlos' handicap parking tag (she hurled first his cell phone down the parking lot, and then him).

Best Handwriting: Katherine's Aunt Lillian, fully supine and on her deathbed, still manages to produce amazingly exquisite script as she writes a letter to Dylan telling her the truth about something to be revealed in the finale. Hopefully.

Most Welcome "Oh Yeah, That's Right!" Moment: Remember when Susan had a career as a children's author and illustrator? It popped up again this season, but only so Mike's mother could belittle poor Susan's opus, "Ants in My Picnic Basket."