Unfinished Business

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 44

Later that evening Rita had perked up a bit. "What's that noise?"
"Our guests," Harry replied. "As you couldn't make it to the Rovers to celebrate your birthday, they decided to bring the party to you."
She pulled a face. "Can't yer tell them I'm too ill?"
"Nice of you to admit you're ill," he quipped. "This morning you were all for burning me at the stake for suggesting such a thing."
"I'm sorry about that," she said. "I really thought I could shake whatever it were." She held her hand out. "Forgiven?"
He took it and kissed it. "How could I stay angry with you?"
She pulled him closer. "I wouldn't have blamed yer if yer had. I were horrible to yer."
"I understand," he replied. "Everyone's ratty when they're feeling out of sorts. You're on the mend which is the important thing."
She smiled. "I'll be running yer ragged again before yer know it." He kissed her. "Okay," she sighed. "I'll give them an hour but no longer. Pass us me dressing gown."
He helped her put it on and kissed the back of her neck. "They'll be pleased to see you." He helped her up and walk to the door.
"Is the peasant out there?" she wondered.
Harry opened the door. "He is. He's been a great help today."
"Hmm," she said. "Probably has an ulterior motive. When I'm fully recovered he'll be back to his normal aggravating self."
"Here she is!" Louise beamed as they all sang Happy Birthday to her. Louise hugged her mother. "Happy birthday, mam."
"Thank yer, sweetheart," she smiled, pleased to see her. "Yer all shouldn't have gone to so much trouble."
"But it's yer birthday," Louise said, hoping things were back the way they had been. "Can't let another year pass without recognition."
"That I'm not in me grave yet, yer mean? Yes that's quite an achievement." She winked.
Norris nervously approached her. "I'm glad to see you up and about after this morning. How are you feeling?"
"A bit better," she told him then coughed.
"I'll take care of the shop for as long as you need me," he offered.
She smiled. "Thank yer, Norris. I won't forget this."
"Someone get her a drink," Betty said. "Cheer her up a bit."
"Not with these antibiotics. I'll have to go against nature and become teetotal for a while," she laughed. Suddenly she had a coughing fit, wheezed and struggled once more for breath as tears streamed out of her widened eyes.
"Rita?" Harry said as she collapsed in his arms. "Call an ambulance!"

The entire street turned out as usual when they heard the sirens approach.
"What's going on?" Ken asked.
Betty crossed the road in tears. "It's Rita. She's in a bad way, the poor thing."
"I thought she only had an infection," Deirdre noted.
Betty nodded, wiping her nose. "I hope they make her better at the hospital."
Ken put his hand on her. "I'm sure they will."
In front of the shop Emily and Norris were worried and watched Harry and Louise follow the unconscious Rita into the ambulance.
"We'll meet you there," Emily said.
"Thanks, Emily," Louise replied through her own tears while Harry was just stunned into silence.
The doors closed and the vehicle drove off at speed.

Inside the ambulance Louise was worrying about both her parents. "Dad?"
"What if she dies?" he sobbed. "I couldn't handle it if I lost her."
She put her arms around him. "She won't. She's tough. Didn't yer say she's where I got it from?"
Rita's eyes flickered open.
Harry rose and leaned over her. "Oh, darling."
She pulled the oxygen mask down. "Worried about me, huh?"
"Always," he told her, smiling.
"Can you please sit back down?" the paramedic said.
Harry obeyed. "Sorry."
Rita looked at her daughter. "If anything happens to me-"
"Don't say that," Harry butted in.
She ignored him. "I want yer to know I love yer very much and yer've made me very proud. I'm truly sorry for our row the other day. I didn't mean any of it. I'm so glad yer back in me life and we managed to put our differences behind us on the cruise."
"Me too, mam," she said, fighting the tears.
"I take it the fact yer here means I were right and yer were being daft?" she asked, eyebrow raised.
Louise nodded. "Yes to both."
She beamed. "I told yer. A mother knows." She held her hand out to Harry who eagerly took it. "Thank yer for making me happy in me twilight years. I never thought I could be again but yer proved me wrong, in many things I'm glad to say. I love yer, Harry, and I'm glad yer finally made an honest woman of me."
He kissed her tenderly. "I aim to please, darling."
"Look after him, Louise," she said.
"What is this?" Louise asked nervously. "A farewell speech?"
Rita tried not to laugh. "Yer know what he's like without me around. He'll burn the place down boiling a kettle. I do want a home to come back to."
He kissed her again. "You'll have it, darling. I promise."
"I'll look after him, mam," Louise told her, wiping away a tear.
Rita looked at them both. "Cheer up. I'm only going to hospital, not the crem."
Harry and Louise laughed.
"I should hope not, Mrs Bates," Harry smiled. "I've got to go first, remember?"
"Deal." She sighed. "I'm tired. I'm going to have forty winks." She struggled with the oxygen mask so the paramedic helped her as she closed her eyes.

Outside the entrance to A&E Emily and Norris waited impatiently.
"What's taking them so long?" Norris wondered. "They should have been here before us."
Emily was at a loss for a reply. She spotted an ambulance getting closer. "This must be them."
Norris frowned. "Why isn't the siren still going if it is?"
They both looked at each other in panic. The ambulance passed then entrance entirely. They looked at each other then went after it. They tensed as the door opened. Inside they saw Louise and Harry sobbing and hugging each other. They slowly walked towards them.
"Louise? Harry?" Emily said.
Louise looked round, tears streaming down her face.
Emily peered inside and saw the lifeless body of Rita on the trolley. "Oh no."
"What is it?" Norris asked then gasped when he saw what Emily had. "How? She only had an infection?"
Louise's attention was on her father. "Come on, dad. We have to get out."
"I can't leave her," he wailed, a broken man. "She needs me."
"We'll look after her, sir," the paramedic said.
"You didn't do a good job keeping her alive, did you?" he yelled. "Why should I trust anything you say?"
Louise looked pitifully at the hapless paramedic. "It weren't his fault, dad. He weren't to know this would happen. None of us did. Come on."
Harry sobbed. "I know. I just can't bear the thought of being without her."
"None of us can," Emily added.
Louise helped her dad out of the ambulance and onto the road. Harry kept his eyes firmly on the body on the trolley, oblivious to the others.
"What happened?" Emily asked.
Louise wiped away the tears. "One minute she were talking to us. I did wonder from the way she were talking if she were saying goodbye. But yer know mam, had to make a joke to lighten the mood. She said she was going to sleep and the next thing she was gasping for air even though she had an oxygen mask on. She couldn't breath. Then it went silent and she were staring at the ceiling. I'll never forget that look of fear on her face as long as I live. It were such a horrible way to die and we were powerless to help her."
Emily comforted her while Norris was in as much shock as Harry. They all watched as Rita was covered and her body carefully lowered out of the vehicle on the trolley.
"Wait," Harry suddenly said. He slowly pulled the sheet back to reveal her face and broke down, hugging her tightly. "Why did you leave me? Why?" He kissed and caressed her lifeless form. "I love you, Rita. I need you. Come back, darling. Come back. Don't leave me."
"Do something, Norris," Emily urged.
Norris was at a loss what to do so put his arms on Harry's, trying not to cry. "Time to let her go."
"I can't," he wept, inconsolable.
Norris was getting choked up. "You have to. We all have to even though it's hard."
Harry nodded solemnly. He kissed her for the final time then stepped back, allowing the paramedics to wheel her into the mortuary. They watched in silence as the trolley went through a door and disappeared.
Harry was completely numb. "I've lost her," he said softly.


To be continued....

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 45

News of Rita's death spread rapidly among her neighbours and they were all stunned as only the day before she'd been in reasonably good spirits and appeared to be recovering. Betty began to feel guilty about her mortality and wondered how much longer she would continue to be the oldest barmaid in the world. As usual in soaps, a post mortem had been carried out in double-quick time and cause of death established as respiratory failure caused by chronic bronchitis. Louise continued to stare out of the window as dawn broke, her father's loud snoring on the sofa washing over her. Her thoughts were interrupted by the intercom. She checked her dad who remained fast asleep and answered it.
"Come up, Emily." She pressed the button then waited at the top of the stairs. The two women hugged.
"Did you sleep last night?" Emily asked.
Louise shook her head. "Couldn't. Too many things going on in me head." She led the way to the living room and stopped outside the door. "He's taken it harder than I thought he would."
"He's sleeping now though," Emily noted.
"Only because I slipped a tranquiliser in his drink," Louise told her. "I had the doctor out last night to him but he won't accept help. He also refused point blank to go in the bedroom. Said without mam being here there's no point him doing anything again." The tears began to flow. "I'm getting really worried about him, Emily. For all his bluster this has knocked him sideways. It's like he's just going through the motions."
"Grief can sometimes affect people that way," Emily replied. "We all react differently."
She shook her head again sadly. "No. This is summat different. I saw him after he beat mam. He attempted suicide that time. He was pretty down but this... His eyes are completely dead."
"I'm sure once the initial shock and funeral are over he'll start to come to terms with everything," Emily assured. "After all, he still has you."
"I may not be enough. I wasn't before," Louise replied downheartedly then moved into the kitchen.
Emily felt she wasn't telling her something but chose not to pursue it. "Have you given any thought to the funeral?"
Louise sighed. "I wouldn't even know where to begin."
"I'll help with anything I can," Emily offered.
Louise smiled. "Thanks. Mam left instructions. I were going over that last night an' all. She wants to be cremated."
"Buried!" Harry boomed. "She's my wife and I want her buried so when my time comes I can be with her always."
Louise wiped tears away. "But, dad-"
"I'm not listening, Louise," he said. "The decision is final."
"It's not what she wanted," she countered. She barged past him, went to the lounge and picked up an envelope. "Her wishes are here in black and white."
Harry snatched it from her and tore it up, throwing the pieces at her. "I don't care! As her husband I know what's best."
"Best?!" she yelled. "That's why she was forced to give me away I suppose(!)"
He slapped her. "How dare you speak to me like that!" He grabbed the death certificate from the table. "I'm organising my wife's funeral and I don't want you at it."
Louise watched open-mouthed as he stormed off. She crouched down, picking up every last scrap of paper as the tears rolled.
Emily's heart went out to her. "I see what you mean."
Louise stood, dropping the paper on the table and sighed. "How could he be like that? This is me mam's funeral. Summat we should be discussing together. I know it's hard for him but it's hard for me too. I know she were getting on. I still hoped we'd have more time." She clenched her fist and hit the table making Emily jump. "How could me adopted parents do this to me? Why didn't they ever tell me? All those wasted years when we could've been some sort of family. As it was I only got fifteen months and for most of them I hated her."
Emily put her arm around her. "You made it up and she forgave you. That was the important thing. She loved you very much and would often talk proudly of you."
Louise wiped the tears with her hands. "Did she? Never did much to make her proud of."
"She clearly didn't believe so," Emily said soothingly.
Louise looked at her. "Emily I have to tell yer summat. I'm pregnant."
Emily was stunned. "Is Dev the father?"
"God no!" Louise snorted. "It's someone I met on me last cruise job. Dad doesn't know. I did tell mam I thought I were a couple of days ago because she sussed summat wasn't right with me and guessed. She were over the moon and hoped it were true. She wanted so much to be a granny and started making so many plans, even saying she'd take up knitting again. But we argued about me choosing me career over a child I may not have been carrying." The tears flowed again. "I didn't see her again until last night and it were confirmed. She knew right away in the ambulance and were so happy. It were the best birthday present I could give her. I'd never have got rid like she thinks. Thought. We'd have worked around it somehow. I wish she were here. I don't think I can go through this without her."
Emily consoled her. "Of course you can. You're your mother's daughter and she was a strong woman. You also have Harry. I'm sure he'll more than make up for your mother not being here."
"I can't tell him," she sobbed. "Not while he's like this. Have to get her funeral out of the way first and hope he does start to get back to some sort of normality without her."
"Louise?" Harry said from the doorway. "I'm sorry."
She released herself from Emily's embrace and looked at him, wondering how much he'd heard. "No, I'm the one who's sorry. I shouldn't have said what I did about being given away."
Harry flopped on the sofa. "You only spoke the truth. I shouldn't have hit you." He fell silent. "Is to too late to talk about what your mother wanted?"
She looked sadly at the bits of paper. "Maybe I can stick them back together again."
Harry paused as tears filled his eyes. "I'll go along with whatever she wanted apart from the cremation. I want..." He sighed. "I'd LIKE her to have a burial. Cremation is so final. Scatter the ashes and there's nowhere to mourn. It's like they never existed. I need to be able to go and talk to her, knowing she's there. I want people to look at her headstone in centuries to come and know she was a real person. Emily, will you help us? You knew Rita all these years so have a better idea than we do."
She smiled weakly. "Of course I will, Harry."
He pushed himself up. "But first I'm going to complain about that useless doctor. She should be struck off for saying all Rita had was an infection and not seeing it was bronchitis. She'd still be alive now if it wasn't for that bitch's incompetence."
"We don't know that, dad," Louise said. "Mam didn't go so she's as much to blame."
Harry slammed his fist on the table. "Your mother is to blame for nothing! It's that quack who calls herself a doctor!"
Louise looked desperately at Emily, tears running down her face.
"Harry, Louise is quite correct," Emily said. "It was clearly her time."
"Rubbish!" he snorted. "She had years ahead of her. It won't bring Rita back but I'm going to sue that bitch for every penny she's got."
Emily decided to try a new tack. "No, it won't bring her back. It won't make the slightest bit of difference except you will have ruined a woman's career and become considerably wealthier all because your wife didn't care enough about her health to make sure she remained well for you and your daughter."
"Stop blaming Rita for this!" he yelled. "It's not her fault!"
"We both saw how ill she was over Christmas," she continued. "It was the worst I've ever seen her and if you recall, she refused a doctor then. Insisted she could recover without bothering them and you agreed. There is no doubt she was much better by the time Louise returned home but there was still something not right. She also retained the cough and during none of these subsequent weeks did she seek medical advice."
Louise wiped her eyes. "She's right, dad, and we both know it. I mentioned it a few days ago and she dismissed it completely, telling me it would go when the weather warms up. It's not the doctor's fault. We have to admit it's mam's."
Harry was fuming. "That's right. Blame her when she can't defend herself. You're both despicable. I thought better of the pair of you and I'm sure Rita did too."
"But, dad-" Louise began.
"Leave me alone," he demanded. "I refuse to listen to either of you badmouth the woman I love. Just go."
Louise's jaw dropped, unable to take in her father's behaviour. Her eyes stung as she watched him stare out of the window with his back to them.
"Come on, Louise," Emily said, leading her away. "Let him believe what he wishes. He'll know where to find us when he finally acknowledges the truth."
"Neither of you know what you're talking about," he spat, still focused on the street outside. He heard the front door slam. "Neither of you," he repeated softly to himself, fighting back the emotion.


To be continued....

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 46

The next day Louise hadn't been able to sleep and sat in Emily's back room staring into space which is how Emily found her.
"Louise?" She gently touched her arm.
Louise snapped out of her reverie and brushed a tear away. "What time is it?"
Emily shook her head. "It's not even three o'clock. I was unable to sleep for worrying about you."
"I'm sorry, Emily," she replied. "I'll be fine. You go back to bed."
Emily sat beside her. "I wouldn't be able to settle. I can see how distressed you are. First you lost your mother and now your father's completely irrational behaviour is not helping."
"We have to face it," Louise sniffed, head bowed, "mam didn't care enough about us to take care of herself." She broke into loud sobs.
Emily placed an arm around her. "I'm sure that's not true. Your mother adored you and your father. She'd have done anything for you especially. If she had realised not seeking medical attention would lead to her death she would have gone."
"Mavis was right, wasn't she?" Louise said. "About one of them being dead by Easter."
Emily sighed. "She wishes she hadn't been. You have no idea how terribly she feels about that despite none of us knowing what would happen."
Louise sat up and pulled a tissue from her pocket. "Why didn't she see a doctor? We all told her to. How could she do it to us?"
"I honestly don't know what to tell you," Emily replied. "I do believe, however, your father is refusing to accept Rita caused this upset because he may begin to imagine she didn't love him or something just as preposterous. Do you go to the doctor over every ailment?"
Louise shook her head. "No point. Most clear up on their own."
"Precisely," Emily said. "That is most likely what Rita believed. We all have coughs and colds which go without intervention. She probably didn't realise how serious it was."
"She could have at least had the flu jab," Louise pointed out. "That would have helped. How could she be so stupid?"
"Only your mother can answer that," Emily told her sadly. "I assumed she had. Perhaps it slipped her mind."
Louise was aghast and stood angrily. "How can summat like that slip anyone's mind?"
"I'm on your side," Emily placated. "Please keep your voice down. The last thing we need is Norris waking up."
Louise felt badly. "I'm sorry."
Emily shifted in her seat. "I can only surmise it had. I cannot say for certain. You must remember, Louise, things were different last year. She had you and your father back in her life whereas during previous winters she was alone so less likely to forget important things. You and your father occupied her thoughts. She would never have put you both through this if she hadn't thought her cough was nothing. She was never the easiest of patients, as your father discovered from Christmas until..." She trailed off, realising what she was about to say.
Tears welled in Louise's eyes. "What am I going to do without her, Emily? This is why I blocked me feelings all those months. I didn't want to be like this when she.... When she...."
"I know," Emily said soothingly, standing to console her. There was a knock at the door which irritated her. "I'd better find out who that is." She went to the front door, made sure the chain was secure then opened the door. "My goodness! Harry!" She quickly removed the chain and opened the door wider while Louise lingered behind. "What are you doing here at this time of night?"
"I saw the light was on," he explained. "I wouldn't have bothered you otherwise."
Her heart went out to him. "You'd better come in." She stepped aside.
Harry looked to Louise for approval before moving but she just turned her back on him. "Please," he pleaded, voice cracking. "I know I deserve it but don't shut me out, Louise. I just couldn't admit to myself it wasn't the doctor's fault. It was easier to blame her when really I should have dragged your mother down there."
"Not that she'd have thanked yer," Louise remarked.
Harry felt a pang in his heart as his eyes begin to prick with tears. "No and losing her is killing me. I can't bear to lose you too. You're all I have left. Please, Louise. Can you find it in your heart to forgive a stupid old man?"
Emily sensed what was coming. "I'll put the kettle on."
Louise held back. "I'd like to, dad, but what's next? Mam hasn't been gone thirty-six hours and in that time yer've hit me and thrown me out. I want to mourn her with yer not be at loggerheads over every little thing." The tears rolled. "We ought to be comforting each other and planning how to give her the best send off this town's ever seen. She'd hate us to be at each other's throats over nowt."
"Her death is hardly nowt," he reminded.
"Yer know what I mean," she replied.
"I'm not as strong as you or your mother when it comes to dealing with things," he confessed. "I'm lost without her. Help me, Louise. Please. I'd like to be able to do the things you want but my anger at her needless death takes over."
She finally dropped her hostility and comforted her father. "Yer managed without her all them years. Yer can again."
He held her tightly. "It was different then. We'd been through so much together which ended in hate. At least, until I saw her again after all those years I thought it was hate. Once my initial anger subsided I realised those feelings were just as strong and I'd just been in denial. Your mother was the love of my life only I never knew it until we were sat in that hospital waiting for news of you after I... I need her so much. I can't go on without her."
Emily almost dropped the teapot. "I've made some tea. I thought we could all do with sitting around the table and discussing things like adults. Remember Rita is the one we ought to be thinking about."
Louise pulled away. "She's right. Mam would give us hell if she heard us talking like this."
"I wish she would give us hell," Harry said sadly.
"I wish she would too," Norris piped up from behind Harry. "I hope you don't mind me joining you only I couldn't sleep."
Harry smiled weakly. "Not at all. Be glad of your input."
They all sat at the table in silence while Emily poured.
"This is very difficult," Harry said, sipping the hot drink. "I always assumed, being older, I'd go first. How could she be so stupid?" He slammed his fist on the table making them all jump and the tea spill. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Whenever I start to accept she's gone I remember how senseless it all is and she'd be here now if she hadn't been so flamin' stubborn."
"That's understandable," Emily agreed, getting a cloth. "Rita's death was a shock to us all."
"Yes," Harry added softly.
"Let's do this in the morning," Louise suggested. "It's been a long day and we should go home."
"Home," Harry said mournfully. "It's not a home without your mother."
"Then we'll go to my house," Louise told him, standing.
Harry looked at her and glumly nodded. "Thank you for the tea, Emily. You're a good woman. No wonder Rita thought so highly of you."
"The feeling was entirely mutual," she replied. "She will be greatly missed by many people."
Harry nodded, heartbroken and his eyes cast down as Louise led him to the door.
"Try and get some sleep," Emily said, opening the door.
"We will," Louise replied when nothing was forthcoming from her father. "Goodnight."
"Night," Harry grunted as he stepped onto the pavement.
"Night," Emily echoed, a worried expression forming as she closed the door.

Harry and Louise began to walk towards Rosamund Street then Harry stopped.
"I have to be near your mother," he said, gazing at the dark flat above the shop.
"But yer said-" she began.
"I know what I said," he snapped. "I need to be surrounded by her things. It makes me feel closer to her."
Louise could understand that, having similar sentiments when her adopted mother died. She put a comforting hand on him. "Come on, then."
Harry let them in, switched the hall light on and trudged up the stairs. Louise locked up then followed as she worried about his state of mind and found him staring into the gloom of the bedroom.
"Are yer okay, dad?" she asked.
He continued to stare at the bed which was as Rita left it. "I will be." He turned and smiled. "I will be. These are the hard days. Once we've said goodbye to your mother we can begin to get used to life without her. It won't be easy but we'll cope somehow." He resumed staring at the bed he'd shared with his wife.
"Are yer going to sleep in there tonight?" Louise wondered.
Harry shook his head. "Not yet." He pulled the door shut. "I'll sleep on the sofa again." He pecked her on the cheek. "Thanks for putting up with my moods. See you in the morning."
Louise watched him go into the lounge then went to the spare bedroom. Meanwhile Harry sat on the sofa and sighed heavily, not feeling the slightest bit tired. He longed to touch and hold Rita. He had never felt such loss and he hated being unable to make the pain go away. He was so used to being in control and this was out of his hands. He knew Louise meant well but she'd never understand how deeply he loved her mother and every second without her was torture. He got up, switched the TV on and put on a DVD. As he reclined in the chair nearest the set, he pressed play and watched with tears in his eyes.

"It's the happy couple! Wave," Louise was instructing on the video.
Rita and Harry did so, grinning like idiots.
"I'm finally legitimate," Louise joked.
"Yer'll finally be chucked overboard in a minute if yer not careful," Rita responded.
"Are there sharks in the Atlantic?" Harry wondered.
"No idea," Rita shrugged. "Bet there's a few onboard though."
"Now don't be mean, mam," Louise said, trying to stifle the giggles. "After all, this is yer honeymoon."
Rita laughed. "I'm not being mean to yer dad, am I?"
Harry gazed adoringly at her. "I should hope not, Mrs Bates."
"Mrs Bates," she echoed. "That's certainly going to take some getting used to again after all these years." She stroked his cheek. "Did I ever tell yer how much I love yer?"
He took her hand. "Yes, but tell me again anyway."
"I'm going to leave yer in peace shortly," Louise told them.
"Good," replied Rita, not taking her eyes off her husband.
"Before I do," Louise continued. "Just one question. How's married life?"
Rita and Harry still gazed at each other.
"Wonderful," Harry cooed.
"Best thing we've ever done," Rita said then glanced round. "After producing yer of course. I love him more than yer'll ever know so thank yer, darling, for bringing us back together."
"It were meant to be," Louise replied.
"Seems so," Rita smiled, looking into Harry's eyes again, her heart on the verge of erupting.
They kissed passionately, beaming to each other as they broke apart

Harry paused the picture and edged closer to the screen, fingers running down the contours of her smiling face, tears streaming down his own and having no idea how he would be able to manage without her.


To be continued....

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 47

Two weeks later everyone prepared themselves for Rita's funeral. Harry had been quiet in the intervening time which worried Louise despite his assurances he was fine and just trying to come to terms with her mother's death. He was sat on the stool in front of the dressing table, the dressing gown she died in pressed against his nose as he desperately tried to smell her on it but her scent was fading. He was losing her piece by piece and it was unbearable. Today he would have to let her go and hoped he could get through it. Everything was supposed to get easier from this day forth but he doubted that. How could anything be without the woman he adored by his side and in his bed? He lowered the dressing gown and stared at the wedding photo propped up against the mirror. He picked it up, guilt overwhelming him at the way he'd treated her during their original years together. So much lost time with her and their daughter due to his temper. If he'd been different they could have been married over thirty years and perhaps had more children. As it was they only had six months of marriage and that depressed him even more. They were destined to be together for an eternity, they both knew that. It wasn't right they were separated. His anger over the stubbornness which resulted in her untimely demise had subsided, replaced by pure grief. He still couldn't bear to even touch the bed she'd spent her final hours in before being rushed to hospital, let alone sleep in it. It was hard enough just sitting on the furniture on the lounge without her to cuddle up to or the stool where she spent so much time making herself more beautiful than she already was. Everywhere held a memory of some sort and he wondered if he'd be able to live with them. His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. He cleared his throat, replaced the photo and hung the dressing gown back up before opening the door.
"They're here," Louise told him sadly.
Harry inhaled deeply before emerging. All Rita's closest friends were in the lounge, Mavis having come from Cartmel to say farewell to her best friend. Harry tried to fight his emotions. "Last time we were all together like this it was for our wedding. I never dreamed we'd be burying her so soon."
"Neither did I," Mavis said. "Especially as I said-"
"It's fine, Mavis," he told her. "None of us expected this would happen all those months ago. You were only speaking the truth." He struggled with the words. "One of us may have been dead by Easter and one of us is."
Louise comforted him as the tears fell.
"I feel guilty," Mavis added.
"There's no need to," Louise replied. "These things happen."
Harry pushed Louise away. "They do." He took a handkerchief from his breast pocket and wiped his eyes, sighing heavily. "Time to say goodbye."
They followed him down the stairs and onto the street. Harry stopped and stared at the coffin in the hearse, covered with and surrounded by flowers, his heart completely ripped out.
"Dad?" Louise said.
"I never imagined I'd ever be doing this," he wept. "All those years we didn't give each other a second thought then you came back into our lives pushing us together again. I don't regret having my daughter back for a second but I wish it hadn't ended this way. Why she leave me, Louise? Why?" He buried his head on her shoulder.
Louise tried fighting her own tears as she put her arms around him. "I know," she said soothingly, rubbing his back. "I know.
He pulled away, wiped his face, cleared his throat and got into the car.
Emily crossed to Louise, placing a hand gently on her arm. "Try to remain calm," she told her quietly. "Think of the baby. It's still early days."
"I'm doing me best," she sighed. "It's not easy. Yer've seen what he's like."
"You be there for him and I shall be here for you," Emily told her.
"We should be there for each other," Louise sniffed, glancing inside the car at her father.
"It will be all right, you know," Mavis added as she joined them. "This is the hard part. It will get easier for you both. It just takes time."
Louise sighed heavily, her eyes on her father's desolate face again. "How much time though, Mavis?" She took a deep breath and got in, the undertaker closing the door after her while Emily, Mavis and Norris headed for Dev's car.

The drive to the church was hell for Louise as she watched her father staring at the hearse ahead like it was only him and her mother's coffin in the entire world. He didn't even acknowledge her when she took his hand. After what seemed like an eternity the car pulled up, stopped and the doors opened.
"Dad?" she said softly. Silence. "Dad, we're here."
He blinked. "So soon?" he replied, struggling to get the words out. He forced himself out of the warm car but despite the bitter wind, didn't feel the cold. His eyes returned to the hearse as the back was opened and they slowly brought Rita's coffin out.
Louise looked around for anything so she didn't have to become as maudlin as her father and smiled as she saw Andy and Jackie. "I'm so glad yer could make it."
Andy looked solemn. "Wouldn't be right without her number one fan here to say goodbye."
"Only fan," Louise reminded. "She were very touched by that, yer know."
"How are you both coping?" Jackie asked.
Louise glanced around at her father whose pained face tugged on her heartstrings. "Dad's taken it really badly. I've been so busy being strong for him it hasn't really sunk in yet."
Jackie rubbed Louise's upper arm reassuringly. "We're here if you need us."
Louise smiled. "Thanks. Everyone's been so kind."
"That's because everyone you and your mother met liked you," Jackie told her.
"I'm so glad you got me to see sense last year," Louise began, voice cracking. "I dread to think what I'd be feeling if I'd still tried to shut her out. All those regrets over my behaviour. She deserved better than me for a daughter." The tears fell.
Jackie comforted her. "She didn't think so. I watched you both during the rest of that trip and she was just like any other proud mother. Today is for saying goodbye to her. Don't think of the bad times. Think of the good."
"There's too many bad," Louise sobbed.
"Only at this moment in time," Andy said. "In a few days, weeks even, these will disappear and you'll be smiling and laughing at all the good times you both had."
Louise looked up and wiped her eyes. "Yer right." She sighed, looking towards her father again who had taken his place behind the coffin. "I'd better join him. See you both later."
The coffin was carried into the church to the strains of Kathleen Ferrier singing What Is Life, a song Harry had chosen as it summed up how he felt. Louise thought it too sad but he'd insisted. She despaired over his state of mind even more. Once the eulogies had been read and the service came to a close, Three Times A Lady filled the church. Louise hated his choice of mournful songs when it hadn't been what her mother had wanted at her funeral. It was time to go so they followed the pallbearers outside. It had begun to snow but still Harry was oblivious to the world around him while Louise was freezing. Harry became inconsolable as Rita was lowered into the ground. Slowly they all dispersed, leaving just Harry and his daughter.
"Give me a few minutes, Louise," he said. "I need to be alone with your mother."
Louise needed to say nothing as she walked back to the car. Emily and Norris were still there, Dev growing slightly impatient as he waited.
After some considerable time, Harry joined them and paused as he was getting in the car. "I want to thank you, Emily and Norris, for everything you've done since Rita...left us." He looked at Norris. "I know we've never seen eye to eye since I came back into Rita's life, but I really do appreciate you being there, first for her when she was sick and then for us...afterwards."
Norris was touched. "I think we can let bygones be bygones. I'm sorry for the way I behaved towards you and Rita."
"I'm sorry too," Harry replied. "It was childish of both of us. I understand why you took against me just as I realise how it must have looked when she wouldn't listen to you. It's high time we made our peace. Life's too short."
Louise and Emily cast a worried glance to each other after the way Harry said that but Norris and Dev didn't seem to notice.
Everyone returned to Coronation Street and the wake at the Rovers. Takings had dropped dramatically since Rita's death as she'd been their best customer. While everyone reminisced about their old friend, Harry sat in the corner quietly in his own world and staring into his pint. Louise became increasingly worried despite Emily's reassurances he was merely grieving and his behaviour was perfectly normal.
Norris stood and called for hush and drew breath before he began to speak. "Forgive me for the interruption. I wanted to say few words about our dear friend Rita."
That caught Harry's attention as he gripped the pint glass tighter, fighting back the tears and pain.
"Many of us have known Rita a number of years," Norris continued. "Harry, of course, knew her far longer than any of us. I was the first one to resent their relationship when he re-entered her life but I'm also the first to admit she was happier with him than I'd ever seen her and I was completely wrong about him. I just wish...as I'm sure we all do..." He sighed heavily. "They had longer together."
Harry slammed the glass on the table and stormed out, knocking into anyone in the way. Louise followed but he'd disappeared. She checked Rosamund Street and spotted him getting further away so ran after him.
"Dad!" she called but he ignored her. "Dad, wait!" She finally caught up with him and grabbed his arm. "Dad?"
He touched her face tenderly and smiled. "I'm sorry to have worried you, sweetheart. I needed to get out of there. I felt like I was being suffocated."
"I can't help worrying," she admitted. "Not when yer like this."
He smiled again. "I'm fine, honestly. I need to be on my own for a bit. Go back in. Emily'll be worrying herself. I'll see you back at the flat later."
"Yer are coming back?" she asked nervously.
"Of course I am," he replied, kissing the top of her head. "It's been a tough couple of weeks and I'm sorry for putting you through all that."
A tear rolled down Louise's face. "Mam died. Only to expected."
"All the same, there was no need to act the way I did towards you," he said. "I've been pretty horrible to live with. It's a wonder your mam put up with me either time."
Louise swallowed hard. "She loved yer same as I do."
He threw his arms around his daughter. "I know you do and I'm more grateful than you can ever know." He pulled back and cupped her chin in his hand. "I love you, Louise. You've made an old man very proud. I'm so glad you didn't really die and you're in my life. A little piece of me and your mother to live on."
She shuddered. "Dad-"
"I'm fine," he beamed. "Well, I will be once today's over. Trust your old man, eh?" He kissed her again. "Now get back to celebrating your mother's life with all of her friends. I'll celebrate it in my own way."
"How?" she asked.
He smiled. "Louise, today we said goodbye to the woman I love. I have my own feelings, thoughts and emotions. I want to say a private goodbye to her. I couldn't do it at the funeral. Too many people and too much pressure to follow a timeline. Can you understand that?"
She nodded. "I think so."
"I don't mean to come across as anti-social," he went on, "but I have to be on my own. I can't begin to contemplate my life without her until I've done what I have to. I'll be waiting at home with a cuppa for you. Now go on. Get back to the others."
"Okay," she said softly.
Harry stood there watching her go before turning on his heel and striding away.
Louise walked back into the Rovers just as Norris was coming to the end of his speech.
"To Rita," he said, holding his sweet sherry up. "Wherever you are we're still missing you."
"Rita," they echoed.
Emily crossed to Louise who was still by the door. "Where's Harry?"
"Said he needed to say goodbye," she recounted, wishing he hadn't gone.
Emily felt sorry for her. "Come and sit down. I'll get you another drink."

Some time later the police arrived looking for Louise. They were directed to her by Steve.
Louise's heart went cold when she saw them standing over her. "It's dad, isn't it?"
"We'd like you to come with us to the hospital," the younger one replied.
Tears silently rolled down her face. "Is he dead?"
Everyone in the pub held their breath, stunned she was forced to endure more heartache today of all days.
"No," she was told.
"What happened?" Louise asked.
"He jumped straight into an oncoming car," the policeman explained. "He's lucky to be alive."
"He won't think so," she snorted. "Was there a note?"
The policeman shook his head. "Do you have any idea why he might want to take his own life?"
"Because we buried me mother this morning," she said softly, trying to put a brave face on things. "Emily, would yer come with me?"
"Of course I will," Emily told her.
They went out and got into the police car, everyone watching as they were driven off and praying Harry wouldn't die and make that poor girl suffer any more.

To be continued....

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 48

When Louise and Emily reached Weatherfield General they were told Harry had been moved to a ward for observation.
"I'll wait out here," Emily said as they reached the door.
"Please," Louise pleaded, "I'd rather yer came in with me. I don't think I trust meself around him." She looked at the ceiling and sighed. "He's pulled some strokes and done some selfish things in his time but this beats the lot."
Emily was startled. "You sounded just like Rita then."
Louise smiled. "The sort of thing she'd say?"
Emily shook her head. "You SOUNDED just like Rita. I momentarily forgot she is no longer here. It would appear you're more like her than you imagined."
Louise felt a pang as she thought of her mother, wiping tears away. "Let's get this over with."
"I'm sorry," Emily said. "I didn't mean to make you upset."
"Forget it," she dismissed. "Won't be the last time someone says something about me mam and it'll set me off. Let's get in and see me dad before I really start to cry."
"Perhaps that's not such a bad thing," Emily noted.
"What do yer mean by that?" Louise snapped.
"This isn't doing you or the baby any good," Emily explained. "You need to let it all out."
She inhaled deeply. "I'd love to be able to just sit down and mourn me mother. Unfortunately me dad's decided to fall apart in front of me eyes and now he's done this..." She trailed off. "I will. Just not yet." She pushed the door open and entered the room.
Harry was awake but staring at the ceiling, his thoughts on his wife, unaware he had company.
After a long pause, Louise finally broke the silence. "I'm getting a strong sense of deja vu."
Harry said nothing, continuing to stare.
"For crying out loud, dad!" Louise screeched, temper finally getting the better of her after all these weeks. "How could yer be so selfish?"
Harry continued to ignore while Emily urged caution.
Louise crossed to the bed and slapped his face. "Think mam'd be pleased yer putting me through this?"
He closed his eyes, pain overwhelming him. "Leave your mother out of this."
"How can I when she's the reason yer in here?" she snapped. "Yer said last time I weren't enough. Yer don't love me at all, do yer?"
He sighed. "Of course I do."
"Funny way of showing it," she snorted, turning her back on him.
"You know how much your mother means to me," he sniffed. "I'm sorry, Louise. No matter how much I love you, I can't go on without her. Don't you understand?"
"I'm beginning to," she replied. "That is, I'm beginning to understand why mam hated yer so long. Yer really are a selfish bastard with no thought for anyone except yerself."
"Louise, please," he pleaded, voice cracking. "I can't help the way I feel."
"And what about how I feel, dad?" she barked. "I've already lost one parent and not been allowed to grieve because I've had to take care of yer. Now, on the day we bury her, yer more than happy to make me lose another.
Harry sobbed. "I'm not happy. Not happy at all. Do you think I want to do this to you? Do you?"
"Then don't," Louise sniffed, starting to get as emotional as he was.
"I can't help it," he explained. "I'm nothing without your mother. I'm so empty. I've wanted to die since she left me but it was only thoughts of hurting you which stopped me doing anything about it. I've tried so hard to cope without her, Louise. I remember only too well what I did to you last time. Today got too much. I couldn't take her not being around anymore I have nothing to live for."
Louise glared at him. "So what am I expected to tell yer grandchild?"
"What grandchild?" he said.
She inhaled deeply. "The one I'm expecting."
Harry clutched the sheet tightly. "Don't lie to me, Louise. I know what you're trying to do and it won't work."
"It's not a lie," Emily interrupted.
"What would you know about it?" he snapped.
"She told me," she defended. "The day Rita died. She needed to confide in someone."
"I'm her father," he stated. "She could've told me."
"Would it have made a difference?" Louise asked.
"Of course I would!" he insisted.
She shook her head. "No it wouldn't. Yer were too wrapped up in mam just like now. Have yer forgotten yer wanted to go against her wishes so we rowed? Have yer forgotten yer threw me out? How the hell could I have told yer anything?"
He brought his hands up to his face and wept. "Then you really would be better off without me and so would the baby. As I'm such a terrible father I dread to think what I'd be like as a grandfather."
Tears rolled down Louise's face as she pulled his hands down. "If I really thought that, would I have told yer about the baby? Would I even be here? Dad, I need yer. We both need yer. Yer all we've got and I for one don't want to lose that."
"Your mother wished for this day," he said. "We'd often talk about when we became grandparents."
Louise nodded. "I know."
He removed his hands. "What did you argue about before she died?"
Louise stepped back. "Where did that come from?"
"What did you argue about?" he repeated. "Come on, Louise. Something really upset your mother before she died. She refused to let me even speak to you. I have a right to know what misery you caused her in her last days."
"Yer know what we were like," she dismissed. "We were always falling out."
He sat up for the first time, wiping his eyes, a steely determination in his voice. "Not since July, you haven't. Something went on between you and you appeared to patch things up on the way to the hospital. I want the truth."
She glanced desperately at Emily who gave her a knowing look in return. "It were nowt. Just a misunderstanding."
"'Nowt' wouldn't have made her so upset," he pointed out. "And she never misunderstood anything. You did or said something and I want to know what."
"Just tell him," Emily sighed.
"I feel such a fool," she confessed.
"Too late now," Emily replied.
"I didn't mean it," Louise went on. "Mam knew that at the end." She raised her eyes and sighed audibly. "She guessed I were expecting and I..." She paused, swallowing hard, wishing none of it had happened. "I threatened to have an abortion."
Harry was indignant. "How could you even consider such a thing?!"
"She were so excited and started making so many plans," she explained. "Nothing were even confirmed. I told her to slow down."
"That's right," he said, totally disgusted. "Blame her when she's not here to defend herself. Not the first time you've done that."
Louise rubbed her forehead. "I'm not blaming her. I'd never have gone through with it."
"So you say now," he snorted.
"Dad," she sighed, "mam made it perfectly clear she wanted nowt to do with me ever again if I did it. The fact I went to her birthday showed her I have every intention of keeping this baby. She lost her chance for more after me and had to lose me on top of that."
Harry looked away, tears welling in his eyes as his past returned to smack him in the mouth just he had Rita many times.
"I'd never have done it," she continued. "I may not get another chance meself. None of us knows what the future holds. I watched her as I grew up. There were always something missing. Oh she were cheerful and friendly enough but it were her eyes, especially when the shop were full of kids with their parents or on their own. She didn't deserve that."
"No," he replied softly, fighting the tears as the pain returned in spades after his brief distraction.
"She died happy, dad," she added. "She had a husband and daughter who thought the world of her, grandchild on the way and a good life. More than she ever could've expected eighteen months ago. We both treated her badly at various points in her life. We also both put things right in the end. I'd never kill this baby. It's her legacy as much as yers. She'll live on and we can tell him or her all about nana Rita."
Harry broke down, his heart aching again. "I can't bear the thought of her being in that box," he sobbed. "I can't bear the thought of her in the ground. I can't bear to be alone for the rest of my life."
"But yer not alone," Louise stressed, taking his hand. "I'm here and so's yer future grandchild. We need yer, dad. I can't do it alone. It's summat to look forward to and help us through these dark days."
Harry forced a smile. "You're right. I've always wanted to be a granddad. Maybe he or she will help fill the hole your mother's left."
Louise relaxed. "I'm sure they will and yer'll spoil them rotten."
He laughed, wiping his face on the sheet. "Got any names yet?"
She shook her head. "Mam vetoed Rita. I don't mind Harry if it's a boy."
"Make sure it's Harry and not Harold," he said, hugging her. "Much nicer."
She smiled. "I will, dad."
He pulled back. "Pay no attention to what your mother said. There's nothing wrong with Rita. She'd have been honoured really."
"I'll remember that," she replied.
Harry lay back. "Thank you for making me a granddad. You'll never know how happy I am."
"We'll come back tonight," Louise said. "Let yer sleep."
He smiled, kissing her hand. "Yes. See you tonight."
Louise and Emily walked towards the door. Something made Emily glance over her shoulder and she cried out. "Harry, no!"
Louise spun round to see her father across the window ledge. "Dad, please!"
"I'm sorry, sweetheart," he told her sincerely. "I can't do it without your mother and not even the prospect of being a granddad can change that. I have to be with her more than ever. It's nothing against you. She's out there somewhere as lonely as I am. I love you very much and always will. Maybe one day you'll find it in your heart to forgive me for putting you through more torment. Tell junior granddad loves him or her and will be looking over them with nanna Rita."
With that he jumped, Louise too stunned to move or say anything. Emily crossed to the window and forced herself to look below, watching the staff realise they could do nothing, her heart going out to Louise as her whole world collapsed.

To be continued....

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 49

Louise couldn't believe she had lost both her parents in such a short space of time. Emily took her to her house as she hadn't wanted to return to the flat just yet. With Louise being in the first months of pregnancy, Emily worried the shocks may have an adverse effect. The doctor had given her a mild sedative and she slept upstairs while Emily and Norris sat at the back room in complete shock.
"I don't understand how he could leave her like this," Norris began. "I thought he loved Louise."
Emily rolled her eyes. "Of course he loved Louise, Norris. Losing Rita was just too much for him to bear. I suppose it was a mixture of love and guilt. He never forgave himself for anything he'd done to her. He completely adored her but the past was always there haunting him." She sighed. "I'm certain he was coming around at the hospital until Louise mentioned Rita not being able to have more children and giving her away. She didn't see his reaction. I did. I daren't tell her. She's suffering enough as it is."
He sipped his tea. "In his state of mind, who's to say it would have lasted anyway? He could've still topped himself a month from now."
Emily glared at him for his insensitivity and use of terms. "It's possible. We shall never know now."
"Never know what?" Louise wondered, walking into the room.
"If your father would have seen his grandchild," Norris replied tactlessly.
"Norris!" Emily hissed.
"It's fine, Emily," Louise said. "He's right. I know summat though."
"What might that be?" Norris asked.
Louise sat on the sofa. "I'm going to sell the shop." She noticed their expressions. "What? I don't want it. In fact, once we've said buried me dad, I'm leaving Weatherfield. Nowt for me here now."
Emily was concerned. "I really think selling the shop is a mistake, Louise. It's regular money in an uncertain world."
"Don't care," she shrugged. "Soon as I've seen the undertaker I'll go to an estate agent. Unless either of yer want it?"
"Can't afford it," Norris replied glumly.
"That's that then," Louise said, nonchalant. "Okay if I make meself a drink?"
Emily nodded. "Be my guest."
They watched in silence as Louise went to the kitchen.
"What do you make of that?" Norris whispered.
"I'm not sure what to make of it, " Emily responded, equally quiet. "She's in shock so not thinking straight. I do worry about that baby. She can't leave. She needs someone to take care of her until she's come to terms with all this."
"Going by her current behaviour, I rather think she won't let anyone near. She's far too much like Rita in that respect," he said, leading to her nodding in agreement.

Rita's will had been read, leaving everything to Louise and nothing to Harry. Emily had explained it was what they'd both agreed with them being older and comfortably off so didn't need it. Harry was buried in the same grave as Rita as he'd planned when he arranged his wife's funeral. As Louise inherited all his wealth too she'd gone from struggling to make ends meet to a woman of means in sixteen months. Since the shop was on the market, Louise decided it was time to clear out the flat.
"Are you sure you won't change your mind?" Emily asked hopefully. "I'm sure your mother would be delighted you'd be taking over the mantle."
"Stand around serving in a shop?" she snorted. "It may have been good enough for her to fill her empty days but yer'll never catch me doing the same thing."
Emily wasn't amused by that remark. "You insult your mother's decisions," she chastised. "It was a job, which were few and far between when Len opened the shop. She enjoyed it, whether she was in a relationship or not. Granted she did it at the beginning to supplement her income and the flat was included so she had to pay no rent. But she didn't have to continue when Len died or Ted. When she was demonised by that awful Cilla Brown and business was lost due to people believing she enjoyed hitting children. Surely you remember how she was." Louise nodded. "Even after she married your father. She could have sold up any time but chose not to. She was content. It may not be for you but that doesn't give you the right to decry your mother's choices."
"I'm not decrying owt," Louise replied. "It's just not for me, that's all. I have me own plans and it doesn't involve sticking around this dump. Me parents are dead. It's me and the baby now. We don't need anyone else."
Emily felt affronted after everything she had done for her since Rita and Harry's deaths. "I'll leave you to it," she said, trying to keep the edge from her voice.
Louise sighed. "I didn't mean yer, Emily. I'd never have got through any of this without yer and yer'll never know how grateful I am to yer. Still have a long way to go to get owt back to some sort of normality but to do that I have to move away. Too many memories. Weatherfield's always been me home. I were born here but can't live here anymore. Bit like dad being unable to live without mam. Summat I have to do."
"I'll miss you," Emily replied sadly.
Louise touched her arm. "We'll be back to see yer. That's if yer can put up with a screaming baby around the place."
Emily smiled. "It's not whether I can but whether Norris is able to."
Louise laughed. "I'll be round as soon as he or she is born then." Her face fell as she looked around her mother's home for the past nineteen years and her father's for less than a year and she returned to reality. "Well I suppose we ought to make a start on this."
Emily became concerned she was doing too much too soon while still bottling everything up. "Are you quite certain you want to do this now?"
She nodded sadly. "Has to be done, especially as I'm selling up. It's not like when me other parents died. It hurts as much but there were never that deep bond so it'll be easier this time round."
Emily didn't believe a word of it but wasn't going to cause her problems in her condition. "Where would you like me to start?"
Louise thought. "Bedroom? Take whatever you want for charity. I want it all gone. No use to me."
"What about your mother's jewellery?" Emily wondered.
"Take that an' all," she replied coldly. "I don't want it."
Emily nodded while resolving to do as little as possible. Louise needed the loss of her parents to sink in and getting rid of everything connected with them was just delaying the process which she'd come to regret in the days or months to come. Meanwhile Louise began on the cupboards which were full of so much dusty junk she would be glad to see the back of it all.

Hours passed and Emily began to fret. Louise had been silent too long. She walked out of the bedroom and found her in the lounge sat on the sofa clutching something and looking solemn. "Louise?"
"It's me hospital tag from when I were a baby. There's all sorts here including baby clothes and unfinished knitting. Why did she never show me this stuff?" she wondered, indicating the box beside her.
Emily comforted her. "Only Rita can answer that I'm afraid."
"I'm getting deja vu again," she noted. "This is how all this started, me looking through me mam's things for me birth certificate only I discovered secrets and lies along with it."
"Your mother hardly lied to you," Emily remarked. "She merely kept all this to herself."
"Still shocking revelations though, just like now." Louise reached into the box and pulled out something. "She also put her diary from then with it all, like she wanted to lock that year away. Everything else is elsewhere. Some of the pages are crinkled and tear stained. Dad put her through hell. How could I have been so nasty to her all those months? How could I have believed she never cared?"
"You were in shock when you discovered the truth," Emily told her. "You mustn't blame yourself for what happened then. You weren't to know she kept all these things."
Louise pulled away and opened the diary. "Listen to this from the fourth of August 1971. 'They came to the hospital with the adoption papers for my little girl. I really wish there was another way but all the while Harry's like he is there isn't so I reluctantly signed my only chance to be a mother away. I picked up my darling Louise for the last time. I couldn't bear to let her go but knew I had to, kissed her goodbye and handed her over. It tore my heart out when they took her away and I'll never forgive Harry for the rest of my life. I can only hope she's gone to good people and will be loved by them nearly as much as I always will. Now I have to carry on without her as if she never existed. When I eventually came home I told him she died. Not that he cares about anyone apart from himself. I can't bear to be in the same room as him but have to pretend I still love him and put up with his pawing like last night until I can get out of here. He knew I weren't ready and am still upset over our daughter but he didn't care. What Harry wants Harry gets so hope I'm gone soon. Bad enough when he's got a cob on but Louise was still at that hospital and all he could think of is sex whether I wanted it or not. I hate him more than he'll ever know. Maybe one day I'll see her again. If it happens I hope I haven't killed that bastard by then for what he's done to both of us.' It implies he raped her the day before, and not for the first time. Isn't that awful?"
Emily was stunned. "I'm at a loss what to say and completely baffled as to why she entered into another relationship with him."
Louise sighed. "Yer and me both. I can't believe she put up with that out of love. There must have been more to it."
"Like what?" Emily wondered. "Fear perhaps?"
Louise nodded. "It's possible. I know she were tough but she said herself when I made her tell him the truth she were scared of him. When it came to it she couldn't walk away then or now." She sighed. "I hate to say this but I have a sneaking suspicion Norris were right about manipulation."
Emily was puzzled. "In what way?"
"I don't know," she shrugged. "She always seemed to do what would make him happy though like buying Norris's share." She paused. "Emily, did yer know she used dad's money for that?"
Emily shook her head. "No, I most certainly did not know."
"Also she were all talk of moving in with dad one minute and the next he were selling up and moving in with her," Louise added. "That's where the money came from. Don't get me wrong. I have no doubts dad really loved mam and vice versa. I think he'd do anything he could to keep her and realised anything violent wouldn't work. She wouldn't put up with that a second time and he knew it. She'd been burned too often since him so he went on a charm offensive to win her over and make sure she stayed his. He had a jealous and possessive streak where she were concerned which she made no bones about hating. He knew if he put one foot wrong he were out. I don't know if it were deliberate but we both saw the state he was in when she died. He couldn't function without her. Or perhaps he'd lost someone to control. She were like an obsession, if yer know what I mean."
Emily frowned. "I rather think I do. His gloating over sleeping with her to Norris became a little uncomfortable at times."
"I can imagine," she agreed before falling silent momentarily, fingering the hospital tag. "How could he do that to her? To all of us?"
Emily was at a loss as to what she could tell her.
"I wish..." Louise began half-heartedly. "I wish none of this had happened. I wish I could've had a normal dad and grown up with her taking care of me."
Emily smiled. "I'm sure your mother wished for the same. She had so much love to give a child. She was a natural. I think that's why she enjoyed working in the shop so much. All those eager children after sweets."
Louise smiled at the memory. "Me included." She flicked through the diary. "Get this from the twentieth May; 'Finally brought up the subject of children with Harry, terrified of his reaction. What would I do if he said he didn't want any, especially as we're not married? What would HE do if he realised I’m pregnant? I love him very much but have never been so terrified. I'm not getting any younger and want to give the man I love a baby. Not as if we've only just got together. It's been three years now. Would he think I'm trying to trap him and deliberately got myself in this condition or be delighted he's going to be a dad again? I know there's no chance being Mrs Bates for real until he can divorce the current one. Nothing to say we can't have a family anyway. It were such a relief when he said we should have one. I told him I'm already just over three months gone and he was over the moon. Said it's given him a second chance and we'd be the best mum and dad in the world. He's already poured all the booze down the sink, promising he'll never touch a drop again. I can't remember the last time he was this loving and caring, making sure I put my feet up and didn't overdo things. He told Terry and Gail they're going to have a brother or sister and has already started thinking of names. I've never been so happy.' Didn't last long, did it?"
"I shall never understand why she endured him all those years," Emily remarked. "Especially in light of the other entry."
"Love makes yer do some daft things," Louise responded, putting the diary back where she got it from. "She'd be the first to admit that, even if there's no manipulation. Reading how she went from elation to misery in a few months has made me understand how she came to hate him so much and why she told him I were dead. He did terrible things to her. Forcing himself on her is one thing but nearly killing her while she was carrying me was possibly his worst. It were a cruel thing to do, letting him think he'd killed me all these years, but as she told me when I confronted her, she had no choice. I see that now." She stared at the box and sighed. "It's like her past all shut away here. It were well hidden I can tell yer. Clearly didn't want anyone, including me dad, to find it. All the while I were growing up, coming into the shop when it were in Rosamund Street for sweets and stuff, she were always happy-go-lucky Rita with a kind word and a funny joke for anyone. How could she do that? How could she face kids like me every day without cracking up knowing what me dad put her through and her child were out there somewhere?"
"Possibly because she had no other option," Emily surmised. "By then she was free of your father and when the original Kabin opened in Rosamund Street you'd been gone almost two years. She was with Len, to some degree, and her life had moved on. Clearly she'd never forgotten you but also it would have been pointless dwelling on it. Perhaps too each time she thought of you she recalled what your father did to her and it was too painful so put it out of her mind as best she could."
Louise thought for a while. "Would you mind if we carried on packing another day? I need to be on me own." She noticed Emily's fearful expression. "Don't worry. I'm not going to top meself like dad. This baby gives me summat to live for even if it didn't work on him. I just have some thinking to do. I need to make sense of all this and come to terms with how wrong I were about her. I'll come over when I'm done. Promise. If I'm not there by the morning yer can send Norris in."
Emily was sceptical but rose anyway. "I'll leave you to it and hope it shan't come to that." She put on her coat and picked up her handbag, taking one last look at Louise before silently heading down the stairs and letting herself out.
Louise sighed heavily, picked up the unfinished knitting and broke down as the grief she'd bottled up for weeks while she supported her father then the shock of his suicide finally came tumbling uncontrollably out.

To be continued....

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 50

Emily constantly clock watched and had to decide whether to turn in or not. She peered around the curtain towards the flat and noticed the lights were off which didn't make it easier fretting Louise had followed in her father's footsteps. She returned to the back room. "Norris, I'm getting increasingly worried about that young woman. I left her this morning and it's almost midnight."
Norris knew what was coming next. "I'll get my coat." He stepped out into the freezing still air, not really wanting to find any dead bodies. He noticed Emily spurring him on from the window, took a deep breath and nervously crossed the road. He noticed a dark shape by the front door of the flat and swallowed. "H-hello?"
The figure turned. "Oh, hello, Norris. Did I startle yer?"
He breathed a sigh of relief upon realising it was Louise. "A little. Emily was getting worried so sent me across."
"I'm sorry," she said sincerely. "I had a lot to think about and lost all track of time. I'll come now."
Norris led the way in silence with Louise following. He let them both in. "It's all right, Emily," he called loudly, taking off his coat. "She's fine."
Emily appeared in the doorway and smiled. "Everything all right?"
Louise handed Norris her coat. "Absolutely. I've come to a few decisions."
"Oh?" Emily wondered.
Louise sat on the sofa. "I read more of mam's diaries. She were more right that she imagined about history repeating itself. Course she were just referring to Dev compared to her and dad when she said it. There's loads of stuff we've done exactly the same." She rubbed her forehead. "Anyway I've decided I'm not going to sell the shop. I'll take it off the market in the morning."
Emily was relieved. "I'm glad."
"Yer were right," Louise continued. "Regular money. Times are getting hard so I'll need it all the while it does good business. However, I'm still leaving Weatherfield so need someone trustworthy to look after things."
"Where will you go?" Emily asked.
"No idea," she shrugged. "Mam had it hard even before she met me dad. If things had been different perhaps she'd have left him and raised me alone. She had no money. I do. I'll make sure my child doesn't go without. Won't be spoiled but well looked after. I also want to make her proud of me. I know yer said she were, Emily, but what were I really? Ten a penny pub singer, just like she said. She told me once I were worth more than that so I'm going to find out if it's true. Andy, the captain on our QE2 trip and mam's number one fan, said he can always wangle me a job if I need it. Maybe I'll take him up on it but can't work on them after a certain month of pregnancy. Wherever I end up, I'm taking her diaries. They'll be me bible so I can read them in times of trouble and hopefully not go down the same path. She wanted so much better for me so maybe I'll get it."
Emily smiled, relieved. "Maybe you will."
Norris scratched his cheek. "Do you have any thoughts as to who will look after the shop?"
Louise looked him straight in the eye. "Only one person, Norris, and that's yer."
He shifted uncomfortably. "Despite what I did last year?"
She nodded. "All water under the bridge now. They've both gone and yer've been a great help since she died keeping things ticking over. I know how much the business means to yer. I won't sell yer a share but yer can run it however yer want. For a start the post office can go. Mam said it's rarely used and taking up valuable space."
He couldn't disagree. "That was one of my ideas."
"She told me that an' all but didn't hold it against yer. Much." She winked.
He shuddered, taken aback at how she resembled her mother when she did that.
Louise didn't fail to miss his reaction. "Again? Good job I'm going then. Can't keep freaking out mam's friends by looking like her, can I?"
"It's only certain things which are similar," Norris pointed out, feeling embarrassed now.
"Can't help that," she shrugged. "Me dad would say I inherited her good points and his bad but were more like her than him. I hope that's true. I'd hate the thought of being violent towards the people I love like him, especially me own child."
"I very much doubt you will be," Emily assured.

A couple of weeks later they were all stood outside the shop watching the signs come down. ‘The Kabin’ and ‘R. Bates’ was replaced by ‘Rita’s’ and ‘L. Bates’.
“The end of an era,” Emily noted sadly, her mind going back to that day in 1973 the original shop opened in Rosamund Street.
“It certainly is,” Norris agreed solemnly.
“I spent most of me pocket money buying sweets, comics and magazines in ‘ere. It were a great place for kids and that were thanks to me mam. Hopefully with Norris in charge it will retain the same in spirit,” Louise added wistfully.
Norris straightened his tie. “I’ll do my best.”
She smiled, glanced at them both then hugged Emily. “I really appreciate everything yer’ve done for me since me mam and dad died, Emily. It can’t have been easy for yer when yer were grieving for me mam yerself.”
“No, it wasn’t,” Emily admitted, “but I couldn’t let you go through everything alone.”
Louise smiled again. “Me mam always said yer were a good woman. I’ll keep in touch and bring this one to visit his or her Aunty Emily lots.” She patted her stomach, holding back the tears. “Both of yer can tell the baby about their nanna Rita.”
“And there is a lot to tell,” Norris added.

Louise named her redheaded daughter Rita Harriet Bates in honour of both parents. She decided not to be a jobbing singer like her mother but a full time mother instead so she missed none of her baby’s growing up the way Rita had and eventually moved back to Weatherfield.

The End

[RitaLittlewood]

I realised I hadn't finished posting this.