Not To The manor Born (Mike's Secret Sequel)

[RitaLittlewood]

Originally written 27th August-5th September 2005

Part 1

It was September 2007. Sir Mike and Lady Reet Baldwin were still blissfully happy arguing and making up afterwards. They had become zillionaires due to their elevation to common aristocracy which meant they were in demand by people who would pay anything to hobnob with titled people regardless of their background, and bought themselves a mansion in the country complete with lake and its own golf course on the profits. They had also bought every building in Weatherfield so were the landlords of their former neighbours, much to their chagrin when the rents went up faster than the council tax. Norris had been dragged along with them as butler, valet, gardener, window cleaner, chimney sweep, cook, scullery maid and for every job that needed doing. He was not happy and would have preferred to have just bought The Kabin from her but she refused, hammering it into his skull with a jar of humbugs where she went, he went and that was the end of it unless he liked hospital food. So he'd reluctantly packed his things at Emily's, Reet holding one arm up his back to make sure he didn't let her down, and moved into a tiny cupboard in the dank and smelly cellar at their new mansion. Emily, on the other hand, let her hair down for once by having a huge party to celebrate his departure once he'd gone and wasn't even all that bothered when she woke up in bed with Fred Elliott after one too many sweet sherries. She reasoned it was a small price to pay for getting rid of her lodger after all those years.

Reet and Mike were in bed snoring when the cock crowed. Reet opened an eye, prising the other open after the mascara stuck it together. She angrily threw the covers back, marched across to the cupboard, grabbed the 12-bore shotgun and opened the doors leading to the balcony. "Where is that begger?" she growled, casting her eyes about for it. "Ah, there it is." She readied the gun, aimed it at her target and fired.
"What on earth do you think you're doing, Reet?" Norris cried from the distance on the lawn.
"Missed!" she cursed. She aimed and fired again.
"Reet!" Norris yelled. "You've killed the cockerel!"
"Oh, damn!" she shouted back. "I was aiming for yer! And it's yer ladyship if yer don't mind, peasant! Remember yer place! Me and Mike want breakfast in bed at ten. Got it?" With that she swept back into the bedroom leaving Norris quaking in his wellies.

Ten o'clock came round and Mike and Reet were still snoring. Norris knocked on the door and entered their enormous bedroom when there was no yelling at him. He preferred it when Reet was asleep because at least she wasn't abusing him in any way she felt like. He placed the tray on the chest of drawers, the cups clattering. Reet awoke with a start, grabbed the gun and pointed it at him. "Can't yer do owt without making a racket?"
Norris turned round and nearly wet himself when he noticed the gun. "I-I'm sorry, your ladyship," he stammered as sweat trickled down his face. "I'm a little jumpy after what happened this morning."
"What SHOULD'VE happened, yer mean," Reet corrected.
"I don't understand why you wanted to shoot me, Reet," he said.
Reet laughed. "But I told yer I were taking up shooting so I could blast some peasants. Yer can't say yer weren't warned about it. Now, bring that tray over here and get on with yer chores. We have that charity cricket match soon guaranteeing maximum publicity for us."
He picked the tray up and took it over, carefully placing it over her legs before heading for the door. He felt something hit the back of his head, stopped and turned round frowning. "What was that?"
"I were about to ask yer the very same question, idiot," Reet screeched. "Call that breakfast? Oh, yer useless. Why I ever wanted yer to come and wait on me hand and foot I'll never know."
"Because I'm cheap and you threatened me?" Norris replied.
Reet picked the gun up again. "I can always sack yer, yer know," she scowled. "Permanantly!"
"I'll get you some more," he said quietly, taking the tray before hurrying out.
Reet leant the gun against the bedside table and looked at her surroundings then at the husband who was responsible for making her Lady of the Manor. She couldn't love him any more than she already did if she tried. She snuggled up to him, gently running her fingers through his hair.
"Hmmm," he said as he began to stir. He opened his eyes and saw Reet looming over him. "Is it morning already, sweetheart?"
She nodded. "Breakfast will be late. I'm sure the moron is trying to poison me."
"He'll have me to deal with if he tries anything," he told her.
"Don't yer worry yer adorable Cockney head about it, Baldwin," she cooed. "I know how to treat him. Yer just leave the peasant to me."
"Come here," he said, pulling her closer.

The cricket match was abandoned due to rain so all the guests gathered in the ballroom. Norris was getting flustered as he did his best butlering as well as being Reet's dogsbody. "I'm so sorry about this," she said to one of the guests. "I can't think where those drinks have got to. I'll go and find out. If you'll excuse me." She left the room ladylike before reverting to type and stomped to the kitchen. "Oi, peasant!" she barked, slapping him around the head. "Where the hell's that booze?" She looked around the kitchen. "Haven't yer put this cricket gear away yet? What the heck have yer been doing all this time? Polishing yer head?"
He looked at her aghast. "No, I have not," he replied firmly. "If you hired more people then things would be done quicker."
"Don't answer back, peasant!" she snapped, picking up a cricket bat and clouting him round the head with it. "Now, put these away NOW and hurry up with the booze!" She hit him again with the bat for good measure, thrust it in his hands then returned to her rapidly dehydrating guests.

Later some of the guests moved to the games room. "Oh, you have a dartboard," one said joyfully. "Can we have a game?"
"I don't see why not," Mike grinned.
"I'll just ring for Cole to bring the darts," Reet told them poshly as she pressed the bell.
"I'm rather good at darts," the joyful one went on.
"So's my wife," Mike said, nudging her.
"Really, Lady Baldwin?" the man asked. "Fancy your luck against me? I might be a bit rusty, but I was champion amongst all my Cambridge chums."
"How much?" she raised an eyebrow.
"Numerous times," he told her.
"I mean," she said, trying to keep calm around this idiot who was almost as irritating as Norris, "how much per game? A bet. Play for cash."
"Oh, I see," he laughed. "Five hundred pounds?"
"Done," she grinned and they sealed the bet with a handshake.
"He will be," Mike whispered down her ear.
She winked at him. "Ah, Cole. Lord Bennett here and I will be partaking in some darts. Set everything up. There's a good peasant."
"Yes, my lady," Norris said then rolled his eyes. When he returned, he handed them their darts then went to dust the board. He felt something whiz past his ear and was shocked to see a dart in the bulls-eye. He slowly turned. "I'm not ready," he told Reet through gritted teeth.
"Then hurry up and get on with it!" she ordered. "I'm having a warm-up." She threw the remaining arrows which both narrowly avoided contact with his head. He had an very strong urge to snatch them out the board and stab her but decided against it since she was bound to survive and make his life even more hell. He stepped back. "Enjoy your game," he said them stormed out to sulk.

That night in Mike and Reet's boudoir, Reet was counting money. "A hundred and twenty-seven thousand and eighty. A hundred and twenty-seven thousand and ninety. A hundred and twenty-eight thousand. That's it."
"Thank goodness for that," Mike grinned. "I was beginning to think you'd be all night counting your winnings."
She laughed. "Not my fault that toffee-nosed twit kept wanting to go double or quits in the vain attempt of beating me and getting his money back. More fool him! Look at all this lovely cash, Baldwin. I'm onto a good racket here. I could fleece the lot of them at this rate." She threw the money in the air and it scattered over the bed and floor as they kissed passionately.
Mike looked around at the wall to wall fifties. "I hope we don't lose any of that."
"Don't matter," she shrugged. Owt missing will come out of Norris's wages."
Mike grinned. "Ever made love on a pile of money?" She shook her head. "Fancy it?" She nodded eagerly, since just the thought of cash was such a powerful aphrodisiac to her, be it wads or the odd penny, and pushed him onto the bed.

To be continued...

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 2

The following day, Reet and Mike decided to take a trip down memory lane and, as Norris wasn't trusted with the Rolls, Mike drove them to Coronation Street. He pulled up outside the Rovers and they went in. The residents were shocked to see them.
"Thought we'd seen the last of you two," Blanche noted.
"Wished yer had more like," Reet replied. "We thought we'd come and see how t'other half live and slum it for a while."
"What's your poison, sweetheart?" Mike asked her at the bar.
"A champagne and vodka slammer, ta, darling," she told him. "Make it a large one. In fact, better make it several. I'll try and find us a clean seat in this dump."
"If it's such a dump," Blanche countered, "why don't you just go back where you came from?"
"And miss seeing all yer jealous faces?" Reet laughed. "Yer must be joking!"
"By the way," Mike announced. "Your rents are due. I do hope they won't be late like last month. I'd hate to send the boys round." He picked the drinks up and carried them over to Reet.
"Oh, and don't forget," Reet added after downing her drink in one, "those of yer with orders to come to the mansion on the 30th better be there or we'll evict yer." She picked up another glass. "Cheers!"

The 30th arrived. As their guests weren't due until after 6pm, Mike decided he'd have a quick game of golf with Norris as his caddy. Reet accompanied her darling husband as he putted hole after hole while Norris grumbled to himself. They reached the 15th hole. "I'll have a 4 iron, Norris," Mike said.
"4 iron?" he frowned as he looked for it. "Which one's that?"
Reet delved into the bag and pulled one out. "This one, peasant!" she yelled, hitting him on the head with it. "Think yer can remember in future?" She handed it to Mike as they kissed.
"I'll do my best," Norris replied, rubbing his latest bump.
"Yer best in't good enough, moron!" she yelled again, grabbing the putter and bringing it down hard on his head.
"How much longer until we reach the end?" he moaned.
"As long as it takes," Mike snapped, taking his wife's lead by clonking him with the club. "Now shut up. You're ruining my concentration."
"But, I-" Norris began.
Reet put her arm around his throat and covered his mouth roughly with her free hand. "He told yer to shut up, peasant! Now do as yer ordered or I'll break yer neck!" she hissed. "Go ahead, darling," she smiled at Mike.
"Thanks, sweetheart," he smiled back, blowing her a kiss. He swung the club then cheered. "Hole in one!"
Reet released Norris, who collapsed in a heap on the grass, and rushed over to Mike, throwing her arms around him. "Well done, Baldwin! Yer carry on like this and we'll be at the 19th hole before lunch."
"By the way," Norris piped up. "Where IS the 19th hole? Only I assumed it was meant to be a clubhouse."
Reet and Mike rolled their eyes. "Mind yer own business!" she yelled, snatching Mike's club and hitting Norris's nose with it. "Now look what yer've done, idiot!" she screeched as the grass turned red from his nosebleed. I expert yer to clean that up as soon as Mike's finished his game. Now gerrup and come on!" She took hold of his collar and roughly hauled him up, dragging him along the fairway like an errant dog.

Mike woke up in the 19th hole. He yawned, stretched and looked across at Reet who was snoring her head off with her mouth wide open. He leant over and kissed her.
"What the heck are yer doing?" she screeched.
"Giving you the kiss of life, sweetheart," he chuckled.
"Oh," she said, wrapping her arms around his neck. "That's all right then. Though I could do some with more resuscitation." She winked at him. They kissed passionately. "What time is it?" she asked when they finally broke for air.
He squinted at the clock. "Nearly half past five," he told her.
"Flamin' hell!" she exclaimed, shoved him off and got out of bed. "Those other peasants will be arriving shortly and it'll take me hours to decide which rocks to wear to make them even more pig sick, do me hair and get me face on."
He gazed adoringly at her. "You're so sexy when you're flustered."
She looked round at him as she opened her enormous jewellery box. "Yer think I look sexy all the time."
"That's because I'm biased," he grinned.
"Also shows what excellent taste yer have in women," she winked then returned to her sparkling jewels. "Now then," she said to herself, practically slavering over them. "Which to wear tonight?"
Mike frowned. "Why don't you decide after you've got dressed and done your hair and make-up?" he suggested.
"Because I have to coordinate me frock with me rocks, Baldwin," she replied. "Don't want nowt to clash or then find nowt suitable to match me outfit. This may take some time so I reckon yer should get yerself ready and greet the hoi polloi when they get here. But make sure that peasant don't serve them nowt in my best glasses or on me best plates."
He laughed. "Okay, sweetheart." He got out of bed. "Just don't take all night about it. I can't stand being around that lot too long on my own."
"I know how yer feel," she agreed. "Common as muck that rabble. Still, we have to do this to show them what they're missing and what their rent's being spent on. It'll be worth it just to see their faces."
"I know," he grinned, kissed her then went into the bathroom.
Reet mused over her jewels. "Eeny, meeny, miny, mo..."

To be continued...

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 3

Three hours later, Reet finally appeared in the drawing room. "I'm so sorry to have kept you," she said, sweeping in wearing blue taffeta with matching huge sapphires and diamonds adorning every available area. "I do hope Mike's been keeping yer entertained."
"When are we going to get some food?" Blanche asked.
Reet's face fell on that remark then she forced a grin. "Very shortly. Cole should've finished by now. I'll just ring for him and see." She glided over the the wall and pressed the buzzer. Mike joined her. "Trust Blanche to start moaning," she said quietly.
"She did as soon as she got here," Mike told her.
Norris entered the room. "You rang?" he asked, out of breath. "Again."
Reet felt like clonking him one but struggled to resist temptation. "Is dinner ready yet?"
"It has been for two hours," he sniffed. "Probably burnt to a crisp by now the amount of time you took to get down here."
Mike sensed Reet's impending explosion into violence and held her arm. "Can you serve it please? Our guests are rather hungry after their trip."
"If you like," he sniffed again. "But don't blame me if it's horrible." He looked directly at Reet after that comment then returned to the kitchen.
"That little-" Reet began, totally seething.
"Leave it, sweetheart," Mike soothed. "You can deal with him later."
She looked at him and broke into a grin. "I can, can't I? Oh, I'll look forward to that. He'll never know what hit him. Let's go and eat."
"Right, everyone," Mike announced. "If you'd like to follow me. Though Cole's cooking isn't up to much."
"I remember," Emily noted as she duly followed.

An hour and several indigestion tablets all round later, they were all back in the drawing room. "Time for some entertainment," Reet said while the guests groaned. "Ah. Cole. Get tinkling those ivories." He didn't dare answer her back when she had that look on her face so sat in front of the white grand piano. "There's the music, peasant," she said, shoving it in front of him. "Now don't mess it up or else!" She took Mike's arm. "Mike and I," she continued, trying a posh voice again, "would like to sing this song to yer. It's our absolute favourite and we always do it as a duet." Norris started playing the opening bars of Forever Darling and they sang.
Forever Darling, while all the hearts go wondering,
You'll find mine as faithful as can be
I'll be your true love, forever and forever
I'll care for you eternally
I've known your kiss and I've been close to heaven
The thrill of this will last me till my life is through
I've made this promise, and willingly I'll keep it
Forever, forever darling you will find me true.

They gazed into each others eyes dreamily while all their guests were desperate to throw up. "Have you finally shut up now?" Les said.
Mike and Reet glared at her. "Yer have no appreciation for music!" Reet snapped.
"That's music?" Blanche added.
"Yer a lot of ungrateful, tone-deaf philistines! And after we invite yer to our house an' all!" Reet yelled then stormed out.
"Ordered to attend," Fred called out after her. "I say, ordered to attend."
"Time for us all to retire," Emily said trying to be diplomatic.
"A very good idea," they all chorused and rushed out and upstairs to their respective rooms except Emily.
"Aren't you going to bed, Emily?" Mike asked.
She nodded. "I just wanted to thank you for a lovely evening."
"Despite the food," Mike said flatly.
"Despite the food," she concurred. "Although I didn't expect any different from Norris. Good night, Mr Baldwin. I mean-"
"I know what you mean, Emily," he laughed. He walked with her up the grand staircase. "Sleep well," he said as they went in opposite directions. He opened the door of the master bedroom and spotted Reet having a tantrum on the bed. "You okay?"
She turned onto her side. "Do I look okay? They're all morons."
"Don't let them get to you, sweetheart," he said.
She pushed herself up and swung her legs back and forth. "Oh I'm not. After all, their pig ignorant attitude tonight means I'll have even more fun at tomorrow's peasant shoot."
"Don't you mean, pheasant shoot?" he frowned.
"I know what I mean," her eyes twinkled. "Tomorrow is going to be so much fun! Come on, Baldwin. Let's get plenty of rest before we have to start blasting the peasants in the morning."

The peasant shoot was extremely disappointing for Reet. She'd been so looking forward to turning their backsides into colanders but they just refused to cooperate letting her use them as target practice. That was the thanks she got, she'd complained to Mike that night, for giving them free food and beds for the night. She wasn't finished yet though with her fun as the next day was hunting. She sat astride her horse feeling superior. "Right, peasant," she was saying to Norris. "I'll give yer ten minutes then we release the hounds."
His eyes widened in fear. "H-hounds? You mean I'M the substitute fox?"
"Got it in one, moron," she beamed. "Foxes are far too quick and no fun because they can escape. I'm glad it were banned. This will be miles better. Well? What yer waiting for? Get running!"
"I don't want to," he said.
She pulled the shotgun out, which had been strapped to the saddle as ordered. "Stop being such an old misery. I want to play and I expect yer too an' all. If yer don't..." Her finger slowly pulled on the trigger making him run as fast as he could. She laughed as she watching him disappear across the estate, slipping the gun back into its cover. She checked her watch then suddenly said, "Release the hounds!"
"But, Reet," Emily began, very concerned. "I mean, your ladyship. You led him to believe he had ten minutes. It's only been one."
"Yeah, I know," she grinned. The dogs barked with excitement as they chased after their prey. "Tally ho!" She looked around at her guests who still hadn't mounted. "What the hell do yer think yer playing at?"
"We're not going to take part in this cruelty," Deirdre said firmly. "What has happened to you, Reet? You never used to be so cruel."
Reet laughed. "Cruel? This is merely playing with the peasant." Her eyes narrowed. "And it's yer ladyship and don't yer forget it!" She sat up straight on her trusty steed. "Oh, clear off then. Go on. Since yer going to take that attitude, I want yer all off me estate by the time I get back or the hounds'll be after yer next. And yer can pay for the bed, food and drink before yer go. Five hundred quid a night for the room. Two hundred for the food and four hundred for the drink. Mike'll take yer money. If yer don't cough up, I'll evict yer. I'm going to enjoy meself while yer lot can just stay as dull and boring as yer've always been. Giddy up!" With that, she raced away on the horse leaving the guests feeling even more angry at her behaviour. After riding a short while, Reet spotted her target, slowed the horse and gently cantered towards him. "Having fun?"
Norris was lying in a bush trying to fend the dogs off. "No, I am not. They're chewing me here. Call them off please."
"I'll think about it," she replied then did. She noticed he was covered in blood. "Are yer hurt?"
He was taken aback by her concern. "Yes." His eyes widened when he watched her pull out the shotgun. "What are you going to do?"
"Put the animal out of its misery, of course," she laughed. "Unless yer think yer can out run the shots."
He pushed himself up. "You won't really shoot me, will you, Reet?"
She shot the ground narrowly missing his feet. "Yer LADYSHIP, peasant!" she yelled. "Call me Reet once more and it'll be the last thing yer ever say! Now get back to the house and do me and Mike our dinner. All this peasant hunting's given me one hell of an appetite." She put the gun away, turned the horse around and galloped back to the stables.

To be continued...

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 4

A couple of weeks later, Mike and Reet were invited to the soireé held by Earl Anthony Masters at his ten thousand acre estate. The Earl was a multi-billionaire in his mid-70s, having made his money legitimately while awaiting to inherit the title. He and Mike had become good friends as he always admired self-made men and often played golf together. Reet couldn't help seeing pound signs and her mind was in overdrive working out how to fleece him of a billion or two.
"Mike. Reet," the Earl greeted as they were announced by his butler. "I'm so glad you two could make it." He gave Reet a lingering peck on the cheek which Mike couldn't fail to miss before taking her hand and not letting it go. He led the way across the room so they could get some champagne.
"Nice of you to invite us," Mike grinned.
"Yes indeed," Reet croaked, noticing the way he kept looking at her.
"Always a pleasure spending time in your company," he replied, not taking his eyes off Reet.
Mike ignored the Earl's obvious advances to his wife as he knew she wouldn't never betray him.
"The Duke and Duchess of Liverpool," the butler announced.
"A Duke and Duchess?" Reet gasped, very impressed. "What are they like?"
"Bert and Mary?" he replied. "Nicest couple you could ever meet. Totally devoted to each other. And they have two fine sons."
"Like us, sweetheart," Mike said. "Except we have no kids."
"Yes," Reet said automatically, not really paying him any attention.
"Would you like me to introduce you?" the Earl asked.
Reet's heart leapt. "Please."
"I'll stay here," Mike told them. "Have fun, sweetheart."
She just nodded as the Earl led her towards the Duke and Duchess. She suddenly grabbed his arm. "Do I curtsey?"
"If you like," he laughed. "Though Bert and Mary were never ones to stand on ceremony."
Mike couldn't help himself glowering as he watched the way his wife was being fondled by his friend. After a while, Reet returned to his side on cloud nine. "Enjoy yourself, sweetheart?"
She nodded. "I wish I had a title like that. Lady just seems so common."
Mike frowned. "It was fine before this evening," he pointed out.
Her response was interrupted by the butler announcing dinner was served.

During the extravangant feast, Mike couldn't help being jealous. He was sure the Earl had deliberately made sure Reet was sat beside him while he was relegated to the other end of the table. Every time he heard laughter from the Earl and Reet, he bristled. They were rather too cosy for his liking. It didn't end there. After dinner he felt like a spare part while the Earl and Reet openly flirted, touching each other a lot. Despite doing his best to put the green-eyed monster to one side, it reared its ugly head as he watched the Earl and Reet disappear into the gardens. He decided to follow at a discreet distance and hid behind some shrubbery while they made themselves comfortable in the arbour. He strained to hear what was being said but they were too far away. Once it went quiet, he slowly poked his head out and his eyes bulged when he saw them kissing passionately. "She wanted a grander title," he mumbled angrily to herself. "Looks like she's going the only way there is to get one." With that he stormed back to the house.
Meanwhile, Reet pushed the Earl off her. "That was unexpected," she panted, trying to catch her breath.
The Earl grabbed her hand and clutched it to his chest. "I love you, Reet," he declared.
"Oh, don't be ridiculous," she scoffed, tugging unsuccessfully at her hand to get free.
"I'm not being ridiculous, Reet," he said, squeezing her hand tighter. "Why do you think I've put up with that husband of yours all these months? After all, he's okay. But you're okayer."
"Now, Ant," she said, an edge in her voice, prising her hand out of his firm grip. "Stop this. I love Mike" She shook her hand to get the blood circulating.
"I'm sure you do. So let's just see each other secretly," he suggested, a twinkle in his eye.
"You mean have an affair?" she asked.
He nodded rather too eagerly for her liking. "How about it? No one need ever know."
She laughed which took him by surprise. "Been there, done that, got the wedding ring. I'm very flattered but I won't be unfaithful to Mike. I love him far too much to risk me marriage. Thanks for the offer though. Yer've made me year," she told him. "I'm going to find Mike." She pecked him on the cheek and went back to the house. Inside, she looked for Mike but couldn't see him anywhere. When she asked the butler, he informed her Mike had left a few minutes earlier. She couldn't understand him going off without telling her so asked the butler to ring for a taxi to take her home.

The taxi pulled up outside the door. She paid the driver and was hit on the head by something. She looked down to see her vanity case. "Where the heck did that come from?" she asked herself then noticed more of her belongings landing around her feet. She craned her neck in the direction they came from and saw Mike at the window. "Mike? What the hell are yer doing?"
"What does it look like?" he yelled back. "I'm throwing you out! Catch!" He dropped a rather large suitcase which she stepped aside to avoid.
"Why?" she cried. "What have I done?"
"You know," was all he'd say.
"If I did, do yer think I'd be asking?" she yelled.
"You and that title you're so desperate to get your hands on," he spat angrily. "Don't let me stand in your way. You always were an ambitious bitch, Reet. Trample over anyone to get what you want."
Reet was stung. Her eyes welled with tears. "You think me and Ant..."
"Don't think," he snapped. "KNOW! I saw you and him in the arbour. Couldn't keep your hands off him."
"Oh, Mike," she said. "You're so wrong. He came onto me there."
"Ha!" he snorted.
"If yer'd stayed a bit longer yer'd have seen me fighting him off!" she screeched, tears running down her face.
"A likely story," he sneered angrily. "You'll say anything now you've been found out. I want you gone. I'll be ringing my solicitor in the morning."
"Solicitor?" Reet sobbed. "What do yer want one of them for?"
"To divorce you for adultery, you stupid bitch" he yelled.
Reet's eyes streamed. "But I never did owt! Can't we talk about this?"
"I thought we were," he replied sarcastically. "I really thought I meant something to you, Reet," he added, his heart broken.
"Yer do, Baldwin!" she pleaded. "I love yer more than I've loved anyone in me life! Yer making a huge mistake!"
"The only mistake I made was taking up with you in the first place," he snapped. "Now, clear off! I never want to see you ever again!"
"But where am I going to go?" she sobbed.
"How about back to your old flat over the shop?" he suggested. "Yer came from the gutter, Reet. Only fitting you end your days there especially since I've stopped your credit cards and will be taking your name off our joint account. And you can take that useless article Norris with you. I'm going to hire some French maids to tickle my fancy!" With that he slammed the window shut.
Reet stood there completely dazed by what had just happened. How could he jump to conclusions like that? she wondered. As she dialled for a taxi to take her back to Weatherfield through teary eyes, she was convinced he would come running after her in the morning after realising how wrong he was. The taxi pulled up and as she helped the driver load up her belongings, she caught something out of the corner of her eye. She turned round to see Norris cowering in the bushes. "What yer doing in there?" she sniffed.
"Keeping out of the way," he remarked. "Though I must say, at least Mike isn't quite as bad as you are when you lose your temper."
"Do yer want to get in this taxi with me, or not, peasant?" she snapped. He nodded. "Then keep yer mouth shut, pay when we get to t'other end and we'll just get on fine."

To be continued...

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 5

Reet hid in her flat for days unable to face the people she used to lord it over. She knew Norris would waste no time telling everyone what had happened. She decided making Mike see sense was more important for the moment and her revenge on Norris could wait. She was getting sick of the sight of her wallpaper so decided to show her face and get it over with. But which place? She downed several vodkas then chose the Rovers since most of them would be there and it got it all over and done with in one fell swoop. She put her face on and three hours later was ready to go. She paused outside the pub and took a deep breath. "Come on, Baldwin," she said to herself. "Yer've been in showbusiness so know all about handling obnoxious morons." She took another deep breath for good measure then pushed the doors open and went in, strolling casually up to the bar. She couldn't help noticing how silent it had all become but was determined to brazen things out. "Usual, please, Shelley," she said trying to convince them she wasn't bothered.
"Well, look what the cat's dragged in," Blanche said.
"It's Lady Muck!" Les cackled. "Not so high and mighty now, are you?"
"Thanks, Shelley," she said, ignoring them, paid for her drink and sipped casually.
"Oh I see," Les continued, making his way towards her. "Now you can't boss us about, we're not good enough for you. Are you listening to me?" He grabbed her arm, making her spill her drink. "I hope you're not expecting me to buy you another after all the money you've ripped us off for."
Blanche joined him. "That's a very good point, Les. Even for you. I think you owe us a refund, Reet, don't you?"
That was enough for Reet. "I owe yer nowt!" she snapped.
"Well done, Blanche," Les clapped. "You finally got her ladyship to speak to us by demanding our money back. That must have hurt."
"Mike owns the properties. Not me," she pointed out.
"But you were the one threatening us into paying up and doing what you wanted," Fred added.
"Usually with that shotgun," Norris said.
She was getting even more livid, especially with Norris now ganging up against her. "Oh, I might've known yer'd go with the mob element," she said to him, eyes narrowed. "Yer always were a spineless peasant! Well, yer can kiss goodbye to yer job after that. I should've sacked yer years ago."
"Suits me," he shrugged. "I'll be glad to get away from all your violence."
"Look," she said to the rabble, trying her best not to hit any of them which wasn't easy. "I have to pay rent to Mike an' all, yer know. He's not only divorcing me on ludicrous grounds and refuses to admit he made a mistake. But is also trying to take all me cash."
"If you're looking for sympathy," Blanche said, "you've come to the wrong place. So do us all a favour and put your imaginary violin away."
She finished her drink and slammed the glass down on the bar. "Fine." She roughly shoved them out the way and returned to the flat.

New Year came and went and Reet was feeling so alone. Mike hadn't been in touch except via solicitor, and had even changed his phone number to stop her calling all the time. She fought as much as she could over the divorce settlement since she didn't want it to happen. The decree nisi arrived and Reet had to accept she'd lost her beloved over a stupid misunderstanding.

Meanwhile, Mike was attending a dinner at the home of the Duke and Duchess of Liverpool in the hope of pulling some posh totty since try as he might, he still loved Reet and couldn't get her out of his system. He choked on his drink when he heard Earl Anthony Masters announced. He hoped he'd never have to see him again after the events of all those months before and tried to hide.
"Ah, long time no see, Mike," the Earl greeted, slapping him on the back. "I hear you and the lovely Reet are getting a divorce. I'm very sorry to hear that."
"I bet you are(!)" Mike replied thorough gritted teeth.
"Now Reet's free, any chance I can have her?" the Earl asked.
"You never bothered asking my permission when you had her before," Mike snorted. "Do what the hell you like. She's not my problem any more. I'm well rid of her."
The Earl frowned. "Had who before?"
"My wife!" Mike exclaimed. "I know all about your affair."
The Earl laughed. "What affair?"
"Oh, don't try pulling the wool over my eyes, mate," Mike scoffed. "I saw you and her in the arbour at your place with your tongues down each other's throats." The billionare laughed again. Mike was getting seriously hacked off. "What's so funny?"
"You are," the Earl chuckled. "I admit, I wanted your wife. She's one hell of a good-looking woman for her age. What you clearly saw was me kissing her while not staying around long enough to see her turn me down, saying she wouldn't be unfaithful to you."
"Yeah, right(!)" Mike said, beginning to worry he'd thrown away his marriage over his own stupidity.
"It's true," the Earl insisted. "What did she say about it?" Mike fell silent. "You didn't ask her, did you? Oh, you fool. Don't you realise she loves you very much?"
"I do now," he said sadly. "We'll be divorced in a few weeks. What have I done?"
"Stop it, man!" the Earl urged. "If she loves you just as much still, you'll have to do an awful lot of grovelling before she forgives you."
Mike nodded. "I'm willing to do anything to get her back. But I've humiliated her so much I won't blame her if she never does. I'm sorry for accusing you."
The Earl put his hand on Mike's shoulder. "Shouldn't you be saying that to Reet?" Mike looked at him and nodded. "What are you doing wasting valuable minutes here then? Get going to her and start chafing your knees! I'll pass on your apologies to Bert and Mary."
Mike smiled. "Thank you. I'll do that." With that he was gone and headed towards Coronation Street.

Mike pulled up outside the Kabin and was surprised to see it covered in shutters. He got out the car at looked up, noticing the flat lights off too. "Must have gone to bed," he said to himself then went to her front door. He still had a key so used it, making his way upstairs in the dark. He flicked the lightswitch and was shocked at the empty lounge in front of him. He searched the other rooms and found them all the same. He slumped against the wall and sank to the floor, head in his hands. "What have I done?" He shot his head up, stood and raced across the road to the Rovers. "Have any of you seen Reet?" he panted after bursting through the doors. No one answered him. "Well?" he pressed impatiently.
"She's gone," Norris eventually said.
Mike grabbed his collar. "What do you mean, gone?"
"Gone," Norris croaked. "She left weeks ago. Business went down the pan. Reet went crazy. Well I know it's difficult to tell with her but trust me on this one. Vanished one day. A van turned up the next day and removed all the furniture."
He released his grip. "Vanished?" he said in shock. He gripped the collar again. "Vanished where?"
"How would I know?" Norris croaked again. "She's hardly likely to take me into her confidence. Perhaps she's dead."
Mike felt a pang in his heart and released Norris again. "Dead? Do you think she would?"
"Search me," Norris shrugged. "But the mood she was in, I wouldn't be at all surprised."
Mike grabbed him again, this time his skin under the collar. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?" He roughly pushed him away, making him fall onto Blanche. "You'd ALL like that!" He stormed out, slamming the door behind him.
"I wonder what he wants to see her so badly for?" Les asked. "After all, he should be as glad as the rest of us she's cleared off."
Blanche nodded. "Maybe he's after her for back rent. She must owe him thousands with no one buying anything from her since she showed up like the bad penny she always was."

Outside, Mike got in his car and drove off. He drove for hours, desperately trying to think where she could have gone. He didn't believe for a moment she was actually dead. He had an idea where he might find her and set off in the direction.

To be continued...

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 6

Morning arrived. Mike woke up with a crick in his neck after pulling over and falling asleep in the car. It was early and not many people about. He got out of the car and stretched, breathing in the fresh sea air. He surveyed his surroundings and wondered where to start. After all, it had been a long time since he'd been to Blackpool to be with Reet and at least the other times he knew where to find her. He strolled across the road to the beach and sat on the sand while he thought about where he would try first. After more than an hour, he decided to start along the seafront in the hope he'd spot her eating rock or something. He trudged his way from the tower up to the amusement park, wandered around there then started back towards the tower on the other side of the road. He stopped in his tracks at the sight of orange hair in the distance. His heart leapt then sank when the person turned and it wasn't her. He lit up a cigar and inhaled deeply then set off again. He was rapidly losing all hope when he spotted her at last selling souvenirs. She had her back to him as he nervously approached her. "You can kiss me quick and time you like," he grinned.
Reet froze and slowly turned to face him. "If yer want to buy a hat, buy one. If not, clear off."
"I'll have a hat then," he said.
"Sorry," she replied. "They don't make them big enough for yer head."
"Reet, please," he begged. "I've come all this way in the hope of finding you so we can talk."
"Seems yer said all yer had to before chucking me out. Didn't want to listen to me then," she reminded. "Now it's my turn. Get lost."
"I'm staying right here till you agree to listen," he insisted.
"Then I hope yer like police cells," she said. "I'll have yer arrested for harrassment."
He picked up a hat. "I'll buy one of these if it will get you to talk to me."
"Suit yerself," she shrugged.
He handed over some money and put it on his head. "How do I look?" he grinned
"Stupid," she replied flatly. "Now get lost."
He looked crestfallen. "Reet. You promised you'd talk to me if I bought this."
"I promised nowt, Baldwin!" she snapped and turned away from him.
"I'm not leaving, Reet," he said, grabbing her arm and forcing her to face him. "I love you."
"Ha!" she sneered. "Now gerroff before I break yer arm."
He released her. "What do I have to do to prove it?"
"Get lost, that's what," she hissed. He grabbed her and kissed her roughly. She pushed him off and slapped his face. "How dare yer! After all yer've done yer expect yer coming here, telling me yer love me and kissing me'll make me go weak at the knees? Yer off yer head."
Mike sighed heavily, rubbing his face. "Fine. Have it your own way, Reet. Don't say I didn't try." He walked off leaving Reet upset, a tear rolling down her own face.

Several hours later Reet couldn't get seeing Mike out of her mind. She loved him so much and while her heart desperately wanted them to get back together, her head wouldn't let her forget the way he'd behaved all those months ago. She wandered down to the beach and stared into the sea, tears streaming down her face. It was getting chilly and she wished she'd brought her coat but left it at the B&B as it had been a lovely warm morning. "If you're thinking of drowning yourself," she heard a familiar voice behind her, "I think you'd better wait till the tide's a lot higher." She turned round and smiled. Mike took his jacket off and put it round her shoulders. "Is that progress?"
"I thought yer'd gone," she replied.
"Thought or wished?" he asked, not really wanting to know the answer.
"Thought," she stressed. "Though I wish yer hadn't come at all. Yer made it pretty clear yer didn't want me any more. Accusing me of having and affair with Ant without letting me tell my side of it."
"I know," he said guiltily. "And I was wrong. So very wrong. I knew deep down you'd never be unfaithful, sweetheart. But all that flirting and then when I saw you and him kissing I just lost it. You'll never know how sorry I am."
"Why the change of heart?" she asked warily. "What yer after?"
"I want to put things right," he told her sincerely. "I've been a prize pillock. I know that. I don't expect you to forgive me right away. I know I'll have to earn that. I want you to come home. We'll stop the divorce."
"Just like that," she said coldly.
"I love you, sweetheart," he continued. "I want you back. I wouldn't blame you if you wanted nothing more to do with me though. You still want the divorce, then I've only got myself to blame. But I thought I'd give it a go. You know," he started to chuckle, "I nearly murdered Norris yesterday in the Rovers."
"Only nearly?" she smiled slightly.
"It wasn't easy restraining myself, believe me," he grinned.
"Oh, I do. Well, I'm glad yer didn't," she replied. "I've been looking forward to that for years. Yer'd have spoiled all me fun."
"I could've killed them all the way they didn't care what happened to you," he confessed.
She turned away from him, tears welling at the memory of the humiliation she went through. "And who's fault's that?" she sniffed.
"Mine," he said. He placed his hands on her upper arms. "Something else I have a lot to make up for."
"My head hates yer more than yer'll ever know," she sniffed again.
"What about your heart?" he asked softly. There was no answer which worried him. He lowered his head and removed his arms. "You don't have to tell me. You'd be better off without me. Goodbye, Reet." He walked away, occasionally looking back, his heart breaking.
The tears poured from Reet's eyes, her own heart broken. She looked round and saw him getting further and further away. She broke into a run, the jacket flying off her shoulders. "Mike! Wait!" She threw herself into his open arms and they kissed passionately. "Don't yer EVER do that to me again," she warned.
"Not a chance, sweetheart," he replied joyfully as he hugged her tightly.
"What about all yer French maids?" she wondered.
"There was no French maids," he told her. "I only said that to piss you off."
They sat on the sand watching the sky get darker, arms around each other. "Yer never did tell me what brought yer to yer senses I were innocent of all charges."
He sighed heavily feeling very foolish. "I bumped into Ant at a party last night. He asked if he could have you."
Reet laughed. "Nice of him to ask considering he never bothered when he tried it on before.
"That's what I said," Mike replied.
"Then what happened?" she asked.
"I didn't punch him if that's what you're thinking," Mike remarked. "Though you have no idea how much I felt like it."
"I think I do," she said softly.
He held her tighter. "Anyway, he thought it was funny I'd make such a mistake and he told me to stop wasting valuable time and grovel."
She craned her neck to look at him. "Oh, don't yer worry about that, Baldwin. Yer may not have done much of that but I'll make sure yer more than make up for it."
He gazed into her deep, brown eyes. "I look forward to that," he grinned then kissed her again. "I was crushed when I found the Kabin all shuttered, flat empty and that Norris saying you'd gone. I was so afraid I'd lost you forever."
"Yer very nearly did," she said.
"I know," he sighed heavily. "But I'm glad I haven't. Home?"
She nodded eagerly. "Home. And we must collect the peasant on the way. I have several bones to make him suffer even more for," she winked and beamed.

Mike and Reet managed to stop the divorce a few weeks before it was finalised while she had Norris run even more ragged than she ever had in the past. She got her revenge on the residents by upping their rents 500%, resulting in most of them being unable to afford it and moving away. It was a gloriously warm day and the lovebirds were by the lake having a picnic under a tree. Mike was sitting leaning against it while Reet lay with her head on his lap. The birds on the lake were beginning to annoy her. "Yer know," she said. "There's this really annoying bald-headed coot I'm so looking forward to blasting off the planet."
"How can you say they're annoying, Reet?" Norris scoffed. She gave him a steely glare. "I mean, your ladyship. They're all beautiful creatures."
"Oh shurrup, peasant!" she yelled. "It were yer I were talking about. Go and fetch me another vodka slammer. Yer didn't pack enough in the basket as usual."
"Yes, your ladyship," he replied subdued, and began walking back towards the house, shoulders slumped.
Reet picked up the shotgun and aimed it. "Nor-ris," she called. He stopped, wondering why she was using his first name instead of his last or calling him names, and turned around. She laughed as she squeezed the trigger...

The End

Patsy