The Street Revisted (Beyond The Street Sequel)

[RitaLittlewood]

This was originally written from the 3rd-14th April 1990 continuing the adventures of the Corrie characters (especially Reet) and is more daft than the previous one. LOL!

Part 1

Welcome, welcome, welcome to the continuation of our previous ratings buster, Beyond the Street. This will hopefully be as as exiting as the previous one.
We left the last episode just after Alan Bradley failed operation loony by not succeeding in driving Rita round the bend.

We being a month later, a few weeks before the much anticipated wedding of Percy Sugden and Phyllis Pearce, in Balls Galore, the name of Rita's new sweet shop and newsagents.

Rita: "That'll be seven pounds eighty, please, Deirdre."
Deirdre: (pays) "Aren't things expensive these days, Rita?"
Rita: "Thanks. Yes, it's surprising. This shop costs me more to run in a week, than The Kabin did in a month."
Deirdre: "The house is expensive too, but Ken helps out when he can."
Rita: "How is he?"
Deirdre: "Oh, the same."
Rita: "Still no job then?"
Deirdre: "No, but he's got an interview this morning."
Rita: "In newspapers?"
Deirdre: "I don't really know. It's a bit mysterious."
Rita: "Well, I hope he gets it."
Deirdre: "So do I. See yer, Rita."
Rita: "Ta-ra."

She did the usual checking that no one was coming, then reached up behind the aniseed balls and got down another bottle of vodka, swigged and nearly choked when she heard the door open. She quickly hid the bottle, stuffed more polos into her mouth (she must be addicted to them too), stood and smiled, firmly clutching the counter to stop her falling on her face.

Meanwhile, Ken was at his interview.

Alec: "Are you sure you can do this sort of job, Ken?"
Ken: "What do you mean?"
Alec: "Well, it's not exactly what you're used to, is it?"
Ken: "It's only temporary. So, you won't give me a chance."
Alec: "I will, bit it's you I'm thinking of."
Ken: "Me?"
Alec: "How do you think people will react when they see you working here?"
Ken: "I don't care about that."
Alec: "All right. You've got the job."
Ken: (smiles) "Thank you, Alec. I won't let you down."
Alec: "I hope not."


Lunchtime now. Mavis was out with Victor, which shocked a drunken Rita because she thought she was out with Derek, until he walked into the shop to ask where she was."

Derek: "Are you sure you don't know, Rita?"
Rita: "I said so, didn't I?"
Derek: "It's most unlike Mavis."
Rita: "Have you tried the cafe?"
Derek: "Yes."
Rita: "The Rovers?"
Derek: "Yes."
Rita: "Emily's?"
Derek: "Yes. I've tried everywhere, Rita."
Rita: "Oh, well."
Derek: "Oh, well, what?"
Rita: "Perhaps she's gone off to have some illegitimate children."
Derek: "Don't be ridiculous, Rita. She's too old."
Rita: "That's not a nice thing to say about your wife, Derek."
Derek: "Perhaps you're right. I think I'll wait for her at home."
Rita: "Good hunting!"

Mavis was enjoying a cosy dinner in Victor's flat.

Victor: "I thought after that trouble with your husband, Mavis, I'd never see you again."
Mavis: "Yes. Well, he can't stop us being friends, can he?"
Victor: "No. Are you all right?"
Mavis: "I have another headache."
Victor: "Do you? Oh, I could have another try at reflexology, if you like."
Mavis: "Well..."
Victor: "It was only a suggestion. I'll get you an aspirin."
Mavis: "That's all right, Victor. I quite liked reflexology."
Victor: "Did you?"
Mavis: "Yes. It relaxed me."
Victor: "Oh. Well, would you like to lie down then?"
Mavis: "Anything, Victor. Anything."
----------------------
Rita: "Jenny!"
Jenny: "I thought I'd come and see you. Where's Mavis?"
Rita: "Still out having lunch."
Jenny: "Have you had your dinner yet?"
Rita: "No, and Maurice'll be home soon. I wish she'd hurry up."
Jenny: "Well, would you like me to stand in until Mavis gets back?"
Rita: "I couldn't ask you to do that."
Jenny: "Why not?"
Rita: "You've got to get back to the Poly."
Jenny: "I've got a free period."
Rita: "Are you sure?"
Jenny: "Go and get yer dinner."
Rita: "Thanks, love. Now you know where everything is."
Jenny: "Yes. Now get going before your husband starts demanding."
Rita: "Oh, he does that already. Mavis shouldn't be long."
Jenny: "Will you go."
Rita: "All right. See you later, love."
Jenny: "Ta-ra, Rita."
Ivy: "Hello, love."
Jenny: "Hello, Ivy."
Ivy: "What are you doing here?"
Jenny: "Waiting for Mavis to get back."
Ivy: Where's Rita?"
Jenny: "She's gone to get dinner for Maurice."
Ivy: "Oh. Well, I thought I'd pay me paper bill, seeing as I'm a month behind."
Jenny: "I'll just find the book."

Jenny crouched down and rooted under the counter to find the book. She found it, picked it up and nearly dropped it when she saw Rita's vodka bottle tucked at the back. Slowly she straightened and served Ivy, but her mind was on her discovery.

Rita meanwhile was getting Maurice's din-dins. Between each stir of the soup, she had a swig of vodka. When she heard the door open, she hid the bottle in the bin and tasted the soup.

Rita: "Hiya, love."
Maurice: "Hmm, that smells nice. What is it?"
Rita: "Ooh, the usual."
Maurice: "Not caviar and chip butties again. This is the two hundredth time in a row."
Rita: "Ahh, and I thought you liked it."
Maurice: "I know what I do like."
Rita: "And what might that be?"
Maurice: "Well it's not caviar and chip butties."
Rita: "Mavis?"
Maurice: "How did you guess?"
Rita: "Oh, sit down before I hit you with the pan."
Maurice: "Is that a promise or a threat?"
Rita: "I never make threats and I always keep my promises."
Maurice: "I'd better sit down then. Come on."
Rita: "Where we going?"
Maurice: "The bedroom."
Rita: "Bedroom?"
Maurice: "Yes."
Rita: "Why? What's wrong with the table?"
Maurice: "And what's wrong with the bedroom? Come on." (takes her hand)
Rita: "What about dinner?"
Maurice: (turns gas off) "It'll keep."
Rita: "You're sex mad, Maurice Jones, do you know that?"
Maurice: "I have been told."
Rita: "By who?"
Maurice: "You of course."
Rita: "Oh, of course."
Maurice: "What are you waiting for?"
Rita: "Eh?"
Maurice: "I'll carry you then."
Rita: "What?!"
Maurice: It's the only way we'll get there."

While Rita and Maurice were having dinner, Mavis was getting very relaxed on Victor's sofa. In fact, if Derek knew how relaxed his wife was getting while Victor was rubbing her foot, he'd probably have pulled out the rest of his hair on his head.

Mavis: "Ooh, Victor."
Victor: "Headache gone, Mavis?"
Mavis: "Yes, thank you."
Victor: "Shall I stop now?"
Mavis: "Ooh, don't stop."
Victor: "Where would you like me to rub now then, Mavis?"
Mavis: "Wherever you like, Victor. I'm at your disposal. Do with me as you will."
Victor: "Are you sure, Mavis? What about Derek?"
Mavis: "Sod Derek. I'm yours to rub, Victor."
Victor: "All right, Mavis. I'll start by removing your tights..."

Meanwhile at the Rovers, Deirdre got a shock when she walked through the door.

Deirdre: "Ken! What are you doing here?"
Ken: "I work here."
Deirdre: "Work here? Since when?"
Ken: "Today. Alec gave me the job."
Deridre: "Alec? Was this the mystery interview you had this morning?"
Ken: "Yes. I would've told you but, well, it's not the sort of thing you like to talk about, is it?"
Deirdre: "What isn't?"
Ken: "Working in a pub. It's only temporary though."
Deirdre: "What is?"
Ken: "The job."
Deirdre: "What sort of job is it?"
Ken: "Barman."
Deirdre: "Is that all?"
Ken: "And..."
Deirdre: "And?"
Ken: "Cellarman."
Deirdre: "I thought that was Jack's job."
Ken: "It is."
Deirdre: "Where is he?"
Ken: "At home. He hurt his back, so I'm filling in until he recovers."
Deirdre: "How did he do that?"
Ken: "Haven't a clue. Lager, is it?"

Back at Rita's, Maurice had gone back to work and Rita went back downstairs.

Rita: "Hello, Jenny. Mavis not back then?"
Jenny: "No. Rita, I'd like to talk to you."
Rita: "I wonder what's keeping her. She's not usually late. I hope it won't become a habit. What do you want to talk about?"
Jenny: "I found this bottle hidden under the counter, and I'd like to know where it came from."

Back at the Rovers.

Alec: "Bet, I've been thinking."
Bet: "Oh, Alec. Wouldn't you be better having a lie down?"
Alec: "What for?"
Bet: "You don't want to do yourself an injury."
Alec: "Very funny. No. How about a fancy dress competition?"
Bet: "And who'll be supplying the prize? Don't tell me it'll be you."
Alec: "I hadn't thought of that."
Bet: "Knew there was a flaw in your idea somewhere."
Alec: "All right, Bet. How about a party then?"
Bet: "A fancy dress party, do you mean?"
Alec: "That's what I said."
Bet: What for?"
Alec: "A bit of fun. After all the shocks of the past couple of months everyone's had, it would make a change."
Bet: "Okay, Alec."
Alec: "You agree then?"
Bet: "Yeah. Where were you thinking of holding it?"
Alec: How about here?"
Bet: "Here? Are you sure you don't want to lie down, Alec?"
Alec: "If that's the way you're going to be, we'll forget the whole thing."
Bet: "Alec, a party would be fine. But I still think it should be a competition."
Alec: Okay, Bet, a competition. A prize for best costume."
Bet: "Each sex, Alec."
Alec: "Each sex! Oh, okay."
Bet: "And seeing as we're hosting the party, we'll be the judges."
Alec: "What!"
Bet: "Otherwise it'll be fixed if we win, so people'll think."
Alec: "I see. You're right Bet, as usual. All right, we'll be judges."

Back at Balls Galore, Rita's secret (yes another one. What's next? She's an alien?) was out. How could she get out of it?

Rita: "I don't know what all the fuss is about. It's only a bottle."
Jenny: "Of vodka. Come on, Rita. Tell me."
Rita: "There's nothing to tell. Really there isn't."
Jenny: "Oh come on, Rita. I found this bottle well hidden and I want an explantion."
Rita: "I can't tell you, Jenny."
Jenny: "Can't or won't?"
Rita: "Can't, I've just told you."
Jenny: "You've told me nothing, Rita."
Rita: "Mavis should be back soon. Hadn't you better get back to the Poly?"
Jenny: "Don't change the subject. I'll go when I'm good and ready."
Rita: "Suit yourself."
Jenny: "I will. It's yours, isn't it, Rita? This is your vodka."
Rita: "I don't have to answer to you. You're only a child."
Jenny: "I'm 19. I'm right, aren't I? It's yours, isn't it?"

Over at the Duckworths, Jack was in bed in agony. Vera had come back for lunch to check on him.

Vera: "Are you sure it's still hurting, Jack?"
Jack: "I said so, didn't I?"
Vera: "It's your own fault. If you hadn't got kaylied..."
Jack: "I must've been drunk to get randy with you."
Vera: "Well, I never thought it were because yer fancied me."
Jack: "You're not wrong there."
Vera: "Thanks a lot, Jack."
Jack: "Anytime, Vee, anytime."
Vera: "Well don't do it again."
Jack: "No chance of that."
Vera: "What do you mean by that?"
Jack: "If I get drunk again, I'll have to be more careful."
Vera: "Oh, Jack!"

She hit his back hard then left, leaving him in agony.

To be continued...

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 2

Rita was stuck. What could she say? She regretted hiding the bottle so quickly under the counter but, because she was 100% pissed as usual, she'd forgotten it was there.

Rita: "You're not going to let this go, are you, Jenny?"
Jenny: "No."
Rita: "Why don't you go back to the Poly? You'll be late."
Jenny: "Not until you've told me."
Rita: "I think you'd better give me the bottle, Jenny."

She tried to grab it, but Jenny moved it out of reach.

Jenny: "No."
Rita: "All right, Jenny. I'll tell you."
Jenny: "It is yours, Rita, isn't it?"
Rita: "Erm...no."
Jenny: "No?"
Rita: "No. It belongs to Mavis."
Jenny: "Mavis?"
Rita: "Yes."
Jenny: "But I thought Mavis was purely a sweet sherry woman."
Rita: "Erm...well, she is. But only in public. Can I have the bottle now, Jenny?"
Jenny: "I suppose so."
Rita: "Thanks. You won't say anything, will you?"
Jenny: "No."
Rita: "Promise?"
Jenny: "Yeah, I promise."
Mavis: "Sorry I'm late, Rita. Ooh, hello, Jenny."
Jenny: "Hiya, Mavis. Well, I'll be off now then."
Rita: "See you, Jenny."
Mavis: "Bye, Jenny, love."
Rita: "I ought to dock that from your wages, Wilton."
Mavis: "I said I'm sorry, Rita."
Rita: "I know, Mavis. What kept you anyroad?"
Mavis: "Oooh, I was, erm...well I had a headache."
Rita: "And that kept you from coming back?"
Mavis: "Yes. I, erm... had lunch with Victor."
Rita: "Victor Pendlebury?"
Mavis: "Erm...yes, that's right. He cured my headache."
Rita: "Not reflexology again."
Mavis: "Yes, among other things."
Rita: "What... other things?"
Mavis: "Never you mind."
Rita: "I think I can guess. Mavis, have you forgotten about Derek?"
Mavis: "Of course not, Rita."
Rita: "Well?"
Mavis: "If Derek can..."
Rita: "Go on."
Mavis: "No. It's personal."
Rita: "Can't be all that personal seeing as you've already started."
Mavis: "All right, Rita. Derek is having an affair."
Rita: (trying not to laugh) "Derek? Are you sure?"
Mavis: "Positive, Rita. I saw it with my own eyes."
Rita: "Who... who is he... having an... affair with?"
Mavis: "Hilda Ogden."
Rita: "Hilda Ogden??"
Mavis: "Yes. He's her toyboy."
Rita: "Toyboy? Surely not."
Mavis: "It's true."
Rita: "At his age? A toyboy?"
Mavis: "It's true. And what do you mean, at his age?"
Rita: "Well let's face it, Mavis, he's not exactly Tom Cruise now, is he?"
Mavis: "I never said he was."
Rita: "So now you're having it... and affair with Victor."
Mavis: "Yes."
Rita: "Is he recycled too?"
Mavis: "I don't know."
Rita: "Well you should. You don't know which shoe he's been scraped off."
Mavis: "You don't know anything about him, Rita. I'll do what I like."


Over to Weatherfield General now. Alf Roberts is still in a coma after his second heart attack. His wife Audrey held a constant vigil at his bedside, worried in case he...lives!

Audrey: "Oh, Alfie. If you're going to die, die. If you're going to live, wake up, you stingy bastard!"


Gail Tilsley had some news which she thought she'd tell Ivy about.

Ivy: "Oh, hello, Gail. Come in."
Gail: "Thanks, Ivy. I'm glad I caught you."
Ivy: "Why? What's wrong? Is it the kiddies?"
Gail: "No. Well, not exactly. Actually, it's me."
Ivy: "Oh."
Gail: "Well, you know about me and Martin."
Ivy: "Yes, I know. My son has only been dead a year, Gail, and you're carrying on with someone half yer age."
Gail: "I know."
Ivy: "Well it's not right."
Gail: "Maybe, but you haven't heard what I've got to say."
Ivy: "Oh aye?"
Gail: "I'm pregnant."
Ivy: (shocked) "Pregnant?!"
Gail: "That's what I said."
Ivy: "Martin's?"
Gail: "Well it's not Brian's."
Ivy: "How could you, Gail?"
Gail: "How could I what?"
Ivy: "Use our Brian's name in vain."
Gail: "I didn't mean to, Ivy. But I am pregnant and Martin's the father."
Ivy: "What are you going to do, Gail?"
Gail: "Get married, Ivy. We've decided to get married."
Ivy: "Married? Poor Brian."


The time now is early evening in the Rovers. Rita went in with Maurice.

Maurice: "Pint and a vodka and slimline please, Alec."
Rita: "I'll get a table."
Maurice: "Okay, love."
Rita: "Jenny!"
Jenny: "Hello, Rita."
Rita: "And Felicity. It's good to see you again."
Flick: "And you, Mrs Fair...Jones."
Maurice: "Here's your drink, love. Oh, hello. Can I get you another?"
Jenny: "No thanks. We were just leaving."
Rita: "All right. Well, I'll see you later then."
Jenny: "Yeah. See yer, Rita. Maurice."
Maurice: "Bye, girls. Shall we sit down, love?"
Rita: "In a minute."
Maurice: "Where are you going?"
Rita: "To have a quick word with Jenny."
Maurice: "Don't be long."
Rita: "I won't."
Maurice: "Good."
Alec: "Will you be attending our little soireé then, Maurice?"
Maurice: "Pardon?"
Alec: "The fancy dress competition."
Maurice: "I expect so. I'll talk it over with Rita when she gets back."
Alec: "All right."
--------------------------
Rita: "Jenny! Jenny!"
Jenny: Hello, Rita. What do you want?"
Flick: "I'll go in."
Rita: "See you, Felicity. It's about the vodka."
Jenny: "I haven't said anything. It's hard to believe Mavis would drink it. That's why I still say it's yours. 'Night, Rita."


Percy was out for the evening with his beloved, which left the field clear for Queen prim and proper, Emily Bishop, to some entertaining of her own - in secret, naturally.

Mark: "That was delicious, Emily."
Emily: "Really?"
Mark: "You're a wonderful cook."
Emily: "Thank you."
Mark: "And you'll make someone a wonderful wife too."
Emily: "Yes. Pardon?"
Mark: "I want to marry you, Emily."


Back at the Rovers, Rita was in a world of her own (what's new?). She worried about the vodka bottle, and prayed Jenny would stop being right all the time because it annoyed her, and accept her lie about it belonging to Mavis. She knew she had to convince Jenny it wasn't hers and thought about giving up the booze completely, but decided against it in case Jenny got suspicious. So she had to be convincing, which would be hard to do 100% pissed.

Maurice: "Are you all right?"
Rita: "Eh?"
Maurice: "You've been quiet since you came back."
Rita: "Have I?"
Maurice: "Yes, love. Did you have a row with Jenny?"
Rita: "No. I've just got a lot on my mind at the moment, that's all."
Maurice: "Is it?"
Rita: "I said so."
Maurice: "Well I have something that'll take it off your mind."
Rita: "What's that?"
Maurice: "A fancy dress competition."
Rita: "Fancy dress what?"
Maurice: "Competition. Alec and Bet are holding one, and Alec'll be providing the prizes."
Rita: "Is this the same Alec Gilroy who hates the thought of parting with his money?"
Maurice: "The very same. He wants to know if we're interested."
Rita: "Well, I'm for it."
Maurice: "I know you're for it, but the competition?"
Rita: "Cheeky. Why not? How do you think I'll look as Nell Gwyn?"
Maurice: "As long as you don't go as Lady Godiva."
Rita: "Oh, you don't think I'd look good parading around on a horse stark naked?"
Maurice: "I'd rather have you parading around stark naked on my back."
Rita: "You would too. And who would you go as?"
Maurice: "Dracula."
Rita: "As long as you keep your fangs to yourself."
Maurice: "In or out of the coffin?"
Rita: "Well, let me see... What do you think?"
Maurice: "I'll tell you when we get home."
Rita: "I bet you will."
Alec: "Oh, hello, Rita."
Rita: "Alec."
Alec: "I was wondering if you'd discussed the party."
Maurice: "Yes we have."
Alec: Wonderful. It's on Good Friday, and starts at seven o'clock."
Maurice: "We'll be there."
Alec: "Good. See you next week then. Yes, Mavis?"
Rita: "Providing you'll let me out of the bedroom long enough."


Over at number 7, Jenny was too thinking about the vodka bottle. Flick noticed this.

Flick: "What's up, Jen?"
Jenny: "Rita."
Flick: "What's new?"
Jenny: "I know. But I have something on my mind."
Flick: "It's always the same with her. What is it? Perhaps I can help."
Jenny: "I doubt if anyone can help. I think she's an alcoholic."


To be continued....

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 3

Mavis sat alone in the Rovers, wondering about her husband and his 'dirty little affair' as she called it. Well she's a fine one to talk, isn't she? Carrying on with Victor Pendlebury, letting him rub higher than her foot.

Meanwhile Emily Bishop was still (yes, still) in shock after what her toyboy blatantly announced, putting her off her choccy pud.

Mark: "Well?"
Emily: "I don't know what to say, Mark."
Mark: "I love you, Emily, and I want you to be my wife."
Emily: "What will people say?"
Mark: "Who cares?"
Emily: "I do. Mark, I'm old enough to be your grandmother."
Mark: "I don't care. It's accepted now, an older woman and a younger man."
Emily: "MUCH older woman."
Mark: "Look at Gail and Martin."
Emily: "Yes, but she's only nearly twice his age."
Mark: "What am I to you?"
Emily: "What do you mean?"
Mark: "Am I only a bit of excitement in your twilight years?"
Emily: "Twilight years?! No, you most certainly are not."
Mark: "Well?"
Emily: "All right, Mark. I'll marry you."
Mark: "You're not just saying that?"
Emily: "No. I'll be your wife."
Mark: "Great!"

Over to the Brennans now. Ivy was feeling low. Don still had no job but he was bringing in money and she was still on the game.

Ivy: "Where are you going all dolled up?"
Don: "Out."
Ivy: "Again?"
Don: "Yes. Why?"
Ivy: "Where are you going, Don?"
Don: "I've told you."
Ivy: "You've told me nothing."
Don: See you, love. Don't want to be late."
Ivy: "Late for what? Don!"

She got her coat and bag and followed him. She was shocked when she saw his new job - a male prostitute. She went home to prepare for a confrontation when he finally got back.

Next morning there was to be a lot of problems for everyone, starting with Rita. Jenny watched as Maurice kissed his wife goodbye then went to visit her.

Rita: "Hello, Jenny."
Jenny: "Rita."
Rita: "What can I do for you?"
Jenny: "I'd like to talk to you."
Mavis: "Sorry I'm a bit late, Rita. We overslept."
Rita: "I'm seriously considering docking all this lateness from your wages."
Mavis: "I said I was sorry."
Rita: "Just don't make a habit of it, Wilton, or I'll be forced to sack you."
Mavis: "What's up with you? Had a row with Maurice?"
Rita: "No I did not! There's nothing wrong."
Jenny: "Well, Rita?"
Rita: "What do you want to talk about, Jenny?"
Jenny: "You know. Shall we discuss this is private, or in front of Mavis?"
Rita: "In private. We'll go up to the flat. Back in a moment." (leaves)
Mavis: "Take your time."
Rita: "All right, Jenny. Out with it."
Jenny: "It's not Mavis who hides vodka bottles, is it, Rita? It's you, isn't it? You're an alcoholic and have been since last year, haven't you?"

Over at the Brennans, Don finally got home. Ivy was furious.

Don: "Oh, hello, love."
Ivy: "About time you got home, Don Brennan."
Don: "Well, I'm here now and I'm off to bed. I'm that knackered-"
Ivy: "And no wonder, judging by what you've been up to."
Don: "I don't know what you're on about. Well, goodnight, Ivy."
Ivy: "Oh yes you do. I'm not going to tell you. I want you to tell me."

Back now to Rita's. She was sitting (probably because after the gallons she'd had for breakfast, she couldn't stand any more). Jenny was too (but she's sober - I hope).

Jenny: "Well?"
Rita: "Well what?"
Jenny: "You've been avoiding it so long, Rita. I think I have a right to know."
Rita: "You and your brains, Jenny Bradley. I don't know where you get them from."
Jenny: "Probably me dad."
Rita: "That crook? Never!"
Jenny: "How dare you talk about me dad like that, Rita."
Rita: "Oh, come on, Jenny. You've seen for yourself what he's like."
Jenny: "Yes I have."
Rita: "He's obviously so deranged, he had to come back from the dead to get me."
Jenny: "You haven't answered me, Rita. It's your vodka, isn't it?"
Rita: "Yes."
Jenny: "I knew it!"
Rita: "All right, Jenny! Stop acting like you've just won Mastermind."
Jenny: "How could you blame it on poor Mavis?"
Rita: "It's not the sort of thing you like to admit to, you know."
Jenny: "When did it start? When me dad's trial was coming up?"
Rita: "Yes."
Jenny: "But I thought when you went mental like that, it stopped."
Rita: "Well you thought wrong. You don't know what it were like. No one believed he was after me. To kill me even."
Jenny: "But what about Maurice Jones?"
Rita: "What about him?"
Jenny: "Was it the booze that made you marry him?"
Rita: "No! I fell for him the day he arrived in Coronation Street to buy Mike Baldwin's factory. I love him."
Jenny: "You loved me dad."
Rita: "That's different."
Jenny: "Why is it? He wanted to marry you, Rita, and you turned him down."
Rita: "I know. But I was married before you know, to Len."
Jenny: "So?"
Rita: "So, I've never felt this way about anyone before, not even Len. And it's not the drink."
Jenny: "Course not."
Rita: "It's true. Oh, you don't understand."
Jenny: "No, I don't. Why don't you stop, Rita?"
Rita: "I can't."
Jenny: "It does your complexion no good at all you know. Not that it makes any difference."
Rita: "How dare you!"
Jenny: "I'm sorry."
Rita: So you should be. I've been through a hell of a lot since I got tangled up with your father, so it's no wonder I've been drinking."
Jenny: "Oh aye, like what?"
Rita: "It's personal."
Jenny: "Personal or not, tell me."
Rita: "All right. I had a secret. Derek and I had children. Satisfied?"
Jenny: (shocked) "Children? Derek Wilton? Oh, God! Poor you."

Good Friday arrived and it was time to go to the party.

Alec: It's gone seven, Bet. Are you sure people'll come?"
Bet: "It was your idea, Alec. Of course they'll come."
Alec: "I hope so. I must say, Bet, you look lovely."
Bet: "Thank you."
Alec: "What are you?"
Bet: "What d'you mean? I'm a Spanish dancer."
Alec: "Oh aye."
Bet: "I know what you are, Frankie boy."
Mavis: "Are we the first?"
Bet: "You are, after us."
Alec: "What are you?"
Derek: "Adam and Eve of course."
Bet: "Oh aye. I should've guessed. Are those fig leaves uncomfortable?"
Mavis: "They're all right."
Rita: "Hiya!"
Bet: "Oh look, Frankie. It's your blood-sucking rival."
Alec: "Hello, Maurice. Glad you could come."
Maurice: "We wouldn't have missed this for anything, would we, Rita?"
Rita: "Well, he had a try, Bet."
Bet: "What did he do?"
Rita: "Ahh, wouldn't you like to know."
Bet: "I get the picture. And who are you?"
Rita: "Nell Gwynne. Like an orange?"
Maurice: "No, but I'd like something else."
Rita: "Not again. Can't you wait till we get home, Draccy?"
Maurice: "I suppose I'll have to."
Rita: "I should've come as Lady Godiva, Bet, but he wouldn't have liked that."
Emily: "Hello, everyone." (clip, clop)
Bet: "It's Lady Godiva!"
Rita: "Including the horse!"
Bet: Emily Bishop! Unthinkable. You'd have been better."
Rita: "I know, but I have to go by what my hubby says."
Phyllis: "Hiya, everyone. Oh!"
Mavis: "Oh!"
Percy: "Oh!"
Derek: "Oh!"
Rita: "Two lots of Adam and Eve! This could be fun."
Maurice: "Ha! You're not kidding, love."
Mike: "I hope I'm not late."
Bet: "What are you?"
Mike: "Can't you guess? Rat-a-tat-tat."
Bet: "No."
Mike: "A gangster."
Rita: "Should've guessed that, Bet. Typecasting."
Ivy: "Hello, everyone."
Don: "Hiya."
Alec: "What are you, Don?"
Don: "A male stripper."
Ivy: "And he's not pretending either."
Don: "Ivy!"
Alec: "What about you, Ivy?"
Ivy: "The Virgin Mary, of course."
Alec: "Of course."
Don: "Some Virgin Mary!"
Ivy: "Don!"
Don: "Well..."

The party got into full swing, until Kevin and Sally showed up. Rita, pissed as usual, thought she was imagining it.

Kevin: "Sorry we're late."
Sally: "The make-up took us ages to get right."
Rita: "Oh, my God!"
Bet: "What have you come as?"
Kevin: "Can't you guess?"
Bet: "No."
Sally: "Rita Fairclough - with bruises - and Alan Bradley.

Rita screamed and collapsed in a drunken shock.

An hour later, Rita was still in shock at the nerve of the Websters.

Rita: "I suppose you think it's funny."
Sally: "No. It's just different."
Alan: "Maybe not, but I think it's hilarious. Don't you, Rita?"
Rita: "AAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!"
Maurice: "Not again."

And to think, the poor cow's just got over one shock, and now Alan Bradley's ghost has appeared yet again. Shame there's no vodka handy really. It's the only comfort she needs these days.

Another hour had passed and it was time to give out the crappy prizes.

Alec: "And the prize for best male costume goes to...Kevin Webster for his portrayal of Alan Bradley."
Alan: "It should've gone to me."
Alec: "Why?"
Alan: "My costume's more realistic than his."
Rita: "Sod off, Alan!"
Alan: "Trying to get rid of me?"
Rita: "How did you guess(?)"
Alan: Well, LOVE, all the while you're living, I'll be around, despite what our gracious leader has to say."
Rita: "Who's that?"
Alan: "Elsie Tanner."
Rita: "Oh, God!"
Alan: "No, BITCH. Oh, Alan."
Alec: "And the prize for best costume, female goes to-"
Rita: "If you say Sally Webster, Alec, I'll go t'Flying Horse."
Alec: "Actually, Rita, it's not. The prize goes to... Rita Fairclough, sorry, Jones, for her portrayal of Nell Gwynne."
Alan: "I know what I'd like to do with your oranges."
Rita: "Get lost, Alan!"
Alan: "And leave you to your alcoholic state, bitch? Not likely."
Maurice: "Alcoholic?"
Rita: "Pay no attention to him, Maurice. He's a bastard."

The next day, Jenny decided to see Maurice about Rita. She rang him. He made an excuse and went to see her, leaving Rita alone, pissed and vulnerable.

Jenny: "I'm glad you could come."
Maurice: "What did you want to see me about so urgently?"
Jenny: "Rita."
Maurice: "What's up with her?"
Jenny: "I don't think I should really tell you, but it's obvious she's not going to."
Maurice: "Tell me what?"
Jenny: "She needs help, Maurice. Badly."
Maurice: "Why? What's wrong with her?"
Jenny: "She's an alcoholic."

Meanwhile, while Rita was getting through her thirteenth bottle (unlucky for some), there was a persistent knocking at her door. She staggered to answer it.

Rita: "Did you forget your key again? Oh, God!"
Alan: "Hello again, bitch!"
Rita: "What do you want?"
Alan: "You know. Come here..."

Maurice was shocked as he listened to Jenny's revelations. He knew she wouldn't lie about something as serious as this. He decided to ask Rita about it. He went back to the flat but couldn't see her anywhere. He began to search then found her, lying on the bed, barely breathing and covered in blood. It looked like Freddy Krueger had zapped from Elm Street to Coronation Street. He rang for an ambulance.

Maurice: "Rita! Oh, God! Rita! Please. Talk to me!"

To be continued...

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 4

Rita was rushed to hospital unconscious. Maurice prayed she'd be all right and felt guilty about leaving her alone. She'd lost a lot of blood so had to have a transfusion or four - and not of vodka either! Maurice kept a constant vigil by her side and only left to go to the toilet. He bumped into Audrey Roberts.

Audrey: "Oh, hello, Mr Jones."
Maurice: "Mrs Roberts. How's your husband?"
Audrey: "Still in a coma. It was quite a shock for him, seeing his previous wife like that."
Maurice: "I suppose it was, but Rita went through the same thing you know. Not once, like Alf, but twice."
Audrey: "Oh yes. Len Fairclough and that swine, Alan Bradley."
Maurice: "Yes."
Audrey: "What are you doing here anyway? Not ill I hope."
Maurice: "Not me, no."
Audrey: "Well who then? Sorry, I'm prying."
Maurice: "It's all right."
Audrey: "Is it Rita?"
Maurice: "Yes. She's seriously ill."
Audrey: "What's wrong with her?"
Maurice: "She met with... and accident."
Audrey: "What sort of accident?"
Maurice: "I don't know. I popped out for a moment and when I got back... Well, it wasn't a pretty sight."
Audrey: "I can imagine. Where did you find her?"
Maurice: "Lying face down on the bed... covered in blood."
Audrey: "Are yer sure it wasn't suicide?"
Maurice: "I thought it was at first. After all she's been through lately, I wouldn't blame her. The doctor said she was attacked."
Audrey: "Attacked?"
Maurice: "That's right. But we won't know for sure until she wakes up."
Audrey: "IF she wakes up. Sorry."
Maurice: "Yes. If. It's all right, Mrs Roberts. I've been trying to look on the positive side, but I know she could..."
Audrey: "Who could do such a thing?"
Maurice: "I have a pretty good idea."
Audrey: "Who do you think it was?"
Maurice: "The only person to hate her enough to torment her so much she went insane. The only person who is angry at our marriage and will stop at nothing to kill her, to take her away from me."
Audrey: "I don't know who you mean."
Maurice: "Who else but that bastard... Alan Bradley."

While Maurice was at the hospital praying Rita would live to empty another vodka bottle, Mavis decided to keep an eye on the shop and flat. Well, Victor was tired and worn out after all that rubbing. She was shocked when she saw the state of the room. She ran into the bathroom and repeatedly threw up.

Meanwhile, Bet and Alec were arguing.

Alec: "I wish you'd stop blaming me, Bet."
Bet: "If you hadn't had that stupid party, Rita wouldn't be half-dead in Weatherfield General"
Alec: "It was an accident."
Bet: "Who said? Alec, nothing's been established yet. The police and I think she was attacked."
Alec: "They won't know for sure until she comes round."
Bet: "IF she comes round."
Alec: "Of course she will."
Bet: "I hope so, for your sake. Oh, I'm going to see Rita."
Alec: "When will you be back?"
Bet: "I don't know. I might not come back. Ever."

Back to Weatherfield General. Maurice clutched his wife's hand and still prayed she'd live. She began to wake up. Well, you didn't think she'd keep off the booze too long now, did you? Being in a coma close to crossing to that vodka factory in the sky won't stop her.

Maurice: "Rita? Oh, hello, Doctor."
Doctor: "Mr Jones. Did you want me?"
Maurice: "Yes, doctor. It's my wife."
Doctor: "What about her?"
Maurice: "She's waking up."
Doctor: "Wonderful."
Rita: "Maurice? Oooooooh."
Maurice: "I'm here, love. You didn't think I'd abandon you, did you?"
Rita: "No. Of course I didn't."
Doctor: "I'd like to talk to you outside in a minute, Mr Jones."
Maurice: (puzzled) "Yeah, sure. I'll go out now. See you shortly, darling."
Rita: "Don't stay away too long."
Maurice: "I won't."

He kissed her then left.

Doctor: "How do you feel, Mrs Jones?"
Rita: "Terrible."
Doctor: "Are you in pain at the moment?"
Rita: "Yes. Doctor?"
Doctor: "Martini."
Rita: "Mar..."
Doctor: "How bad is it?"
Rita: "Agony. Did you say, Martini?"
Doctor: "That's right."
Rita: "The same as the drink?"
Doctor: "Well, you'd know about that."
Rita: "Oh, no. I don't drink Martini. Only vodka."
Doctor: "Yes, I know. Well, I expect you're tired."
Rita: "A bit."
Doctor: "I'll let you get some rest."
Rita: "Thank you. Will you send my husband back in?"
Doctor: "In a minute. I'll be back later to examine you." (leaves)
Maurice: "Doctor Martini?"
Doctor: "Ahh, Mr Jones."
Maurice: "You said she wanted to talk to me."
Doctor: "That's right."
Maurice: "Does it concern my wife?"
Doctor: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Maurice: "Serious?"
Doctor: "I'm afraid so. She's a very sick woman."
Maurice: "You mean, she's going to... die?"
Doctor: "Not if we can help her."
Maurice: "Help her?"
Doctor: "Yes. Did you know she's an alcoholic?"
Maurice: "I was told, but didn't believe it."
Doctor: "When were you told?"
Maurice: "The day she was... attacked. I just popped out for a little while. I shouldn't have gone. How did you know?"
Doctor: "I'm a doctor."
Maurice: "Silly question."
Doctor: "It's not really. When she was brought in, she did have a lot of alcohol in her bloodstream, but I thought nothing of it."
Maurice: "So how are you sure?"
Doctor: "Her reaction."
Maurice: "To what?"
Doctor: "She asked my name. When I told her, her eyes lit up."
Maurice: "I see."
Doctor: "So now you see, she needs help, Mr Jones."
Maurice: "Yes."
Doctor: "How long's she been drinking?"
Maurice: "Since her ordeal last year. She was nearly murdered. But I thought she'd stopped. Everyone did. You probably heard about it."
Doctor: "I was here. Would you like me to talk to her?"
Maurice: "No, thank you. But I think that's up to me. Goodbye, doctor."

Mavis got back to her little house and saw Derek rushing up the stairs in his underpants.

Mavis: "Derek!"
Derek: "Oh, hello, Mavis."
Mavis: "What are you doing?"
Derek: "Erm...washing the windows."
Mavis: "In your underwear?"
Derek: "Erm...yes."
Mavis: "Why?"
Derek: "Erm... it's hot today."
Mavis: "But it's four degrees!"
Derek: "Erm... yes. But it's hot, erm... when I'm doing the windows."
Mavis: "Oh."
Derek: "Mavis? Are you all right?"
Mavis: "Why shouldn't I be?"
Derek: "You look pale."
Mavis: "I've had a nasty shock."
Derek: "What happened?"
Mavis: "I've been to Rita's flat. It was horrible."
Hilda: "Derek! What's keeping you? Bed's getting cold."
Mavis: "Who's that?"
Derek: "Erm... no one."
Mavis: "No one(!) It wasn't my imagination."
Derek: "Where are you going?"
Mavis: "Upstairs."
Derek: "Wouldn't you be better lying down?"
Mavis: "What for?"
Derek: "You said you had a nasty shock."
Mavis: "I did. Now let me pass, Derek!"
Derek: "Mavis-"
Mavis: "If you don't let me go up, Derek, I'll push you downstairs."
Derek: "Mavis? Mavis? Oh, 'eck."
Mavis: "Oh, my God!"
Hilda: "Erm... hello, Mavis."
Mavis: "Don't you hello me."
Derek: "I can explain."
Mavis: "I don't want to listen to your lies, Derek. I've been violently ill in Rita's flat after seeing blood - her blood - all over the bedroom, and you've been... Oooh!" (leaves)
Derek: "Mavis! Mavis!"
Hilda: "Coming back to bed, Derek?"
Derek: "Erm... no. I think you'd better be going, Hilda."

While Mavis drove to see Victor so he could relieve her headache by rubbing her foot again, Maurice was sitting with his wife, or what was left of her. Well, she needs a top-up, doesn't she? Otherwise she'll get dehydrated.

Rita: "I'm glad you're here, love."
Maurice: "I'd never leave you."
Rita: "No. And with Alan Bradley walking about somewhere-"
Maurice: "But he's dead."
Rita: "Is he?"
Maurice: "Yes. You were there when he was killed by that tram."
Rita: "I'm not so sure."
Maurice: "What do you mean? He was buried. Rita, love. You were battered and he was splattered."
Rita: "You didn't have to put it like that."
Maurice: "I'm sorry."
Rita: "It's all right. But I don't think he's dead."
Maurice: "Of course he is. You didn't go through all that with Jenny if he was alive. She identified him."
Rita: "I know."
Maurice: "Rita?"
Rita: "Yes, love?"
Maurice: "What exactly happened at the flat?"
Rita: "You don't want to know."
Maurice: "Yes I do, and so does the police."
Rita: "Oh. Well, I suppose I'd better tell you."

To be continued...

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 5

Emily and Mark were celebrating in the Rovers. Everyone there pretended to be happy, but were shocked more than anything.

Ken: "So, there'll be two weddings now then."
Mark: "That's right."
Ken: "Were you thinking of making it a double wedding?"
Emily: "Who with?"
Ken: "Percy and Phyllis of course."
Emily: "We most certainly were not!"
Ken: "I only asked."

Maurice comforted Rita as she told him about Freddy Krueger, sorry, Alan. She badly needed a drink, but knew she had to tell him soberly.

Maurice: "So, it was his deranged ghost again?"
Rita: "I'm not so sure. He felt real to me."
Maurice: "How could someone who's been dead four months feel real?"
Rita: "That's the strangest thing about it. It wasn't like when he strangled me in the street."
Maurice: "I wish I knew what you meant, love."
Rita: "Well, his grip was real enough as he tried to turn me blue, but as you know, you couldn't touch him."
Maurice: "Yes?"
Rita: "Well, this time you could. I hit him, kicked him and everything trying to make him let go. I even made him bleed."
Maurice: "How?"
Rita: "I dug my nails into his arm to stop him and it left marks. Then I scratched his face badly with the nail scissors."
Maurice: "Are you sure you didn't imagine it, love?"
Rita: "No! He was as real as I am."
Maurice: "It could've been a dream."
Rita: "It wasn't. What are you trying to do to me, Maurice?"
Maurice: "Nothing. I'm only trying to get the facts."
Rita: "I've told them. You think I'm crazy, don't you?"
Maurice: "Of course not."
Rita: "Well, what are you doing?"
Maurice: "Jenny told me."
Rita: (worried) "Told you what?"
Maurice: "About the drinking."
Rita: (furious) "And you believed her?"
Maurice: "No."
Rita: "That scheming, conniving bitch!"
Maurice: "I said I didn't believe her, Rita."
Rita: "I know."
Maurice: "But the doctor said the same thing."
Rita: "Did he now."
Maurice: "I can't think he's lying now, can I? He's a doctor. Oh, Rita..."
Rita: "Oh, Rita nothing. So I like a drink now and again. So what?"
Maurice: "You did stagger down the aisle."
Rita: "Nerves!"
Maurice: "And you put the champagne away at our reception like it was going out of fashion. Even Bet noticed."
Rita: "So?"
Maurice: "You can't tell me that was nerves."
Rita: "I was celebrating."
Maurice: "More like drowning your sorrows."
Rita: "So you think I'm an alcoholic."
Maurice: "No."
Rita: "No?"
Maurice: "You just need help, that's all. You could be on the verge of a nervous breakdown."
Rita: "I'm 100% fit and well. Oh, get out if that's what you want to think and don't come back until you've reconsidered!"

Maurice left, unhappy. Shortly afterwards Rita was resting. The door to her room opened and in walked Alan Bradley, smiling. Rita screamed and fainted with shock.

Ivy and Don weren't speaking after he'd told her what his job was. Ivy thought it was time to break the silence.

Ivy: "How could you do it, Don?"
Don: "To raise money."
Ivy: "But you had a go at me for doing the same thing."
Don: "I know."
Ivy: "A male prostitute though, Don. You could've chosen something better than that."

Back at the hospital, Rita was beginning to stir.

Nurse: "Mrs Jones?"
Rita: "What happened?"
Nurse: "You fainted. Are you all right now?"
Rita: "Yes. Yes, I'm... ARRRRGGGHHH!"
Nurse: "Mrs Jones?"
Rita: "What's he doing here?"
Nurse: "He came to see you."
Rita: "Get him out of here!"
Nurse: "That's not nice, Mrs Jones."
Rita: "I don't care. Get him away from me!"
Nurse: "But he's come all the way from Birmingham."
Rita: "He told you that, did he?"
Nurse: "Yes."
Rita: "Well he's a liar!"
Nurse: "Mrs Jones!"
Rita: "He's only come from Weatherfield, and he's going to kill me!"
Nurse: "Now, Mrs Jones. I think you'd be better having a rest."
Rita: "Rest?! How could I rest with him around?"
Nurse: "You're hysterical. I'll get you a sedative."
Rita: "And then what? Sleep?"
Nurse: "That would be better for you."
Rita: "I thought you were supposed to care about patients."
Nurse: "I do."
Rita: (grabs her arm) But I'll be defenceless if I'm asleep!"
Nurse: "Nothing will happen."
Rita: "That's what you think. He tried before. Last year. I was nearly killed. Then he tried again last month."
Bradley: "I won't hurt you, Mrs Fairclough."
Nurse: "See? He's polite."
Rita: "Can't you see it's only a front? Whenever I'm alone-"
Nurse: "I'll get your sedative."
Rita: "Don't leave me! For God's sake, don't leave me!"
Nurse: "What could he do here, in a hospital?"
Rita: "Anything. He could make it look like an accident. He's like that."
Nurse: "You won't hurt you, will you, Mr...?"
Bradley: "Bradley."
Nurse: "Bradley? You won't?"
Bradley: "Of course not."
Nurse: "There you are, Mrs Jones. Happy now?"
Rita: "No, I'm not."
Nurse: "Mrs Jones-"
Rita: "Don't you understand? He's mad. He'll kill me. Ask anyone in Coronation Street. They'll tell you."
Nurse: "There's no need for that."
Bradley: "I won't hurt you, Rita. I just want to talk."
Rita: "He would say that. Nice to start with when there's someone else present, but when I'm on my own..."
Nurse: "I think you're over-reacting. He's already said he won't hurt you."
Rita: "Not if someone's with me."
Nurse: "Mrs Jones. You're being stupid now."
Rita: "No, I'm not."
Nurse: "I'm going to get your sedative, and I don't want to hear another word." (leaves)
Rita: "No! Nurse! Nurse!"
Bradley: "I won't hurt you, Mrs Fairclough. I'm Adam Bradley. Alan's brother."

Percy and Phyllis were discussing their wedding.

Phyllis: "Eee, I'm looking forward to next month, Percy."
Percy: "Aye, you would."
Phyllis: "Aren't you then?"
Percy: "Of course I am."
Phyllis: "Well then."
Percy: "I just don't like the idea of leaving Mrs Bishop on her own."
Phyllis: "She won't be on her own, Percy, love."
Percy: "You're cracked, woman."
Phyllis: "I'm not. She's getting married."
Percy: "Married? Who to?"
Phyllis: "That Mark Casey from the garage."
Percy: "She's what?! We'll see about this."
Phyllis: "What are you going to do, Percy?"
Percy: "I'm going to talk to him. I won't have his sort seducing an innocent woman."

Back now to Rita as I know you're dying to know what's going on.

Rita: "So, you're Alan Bradley's brother."
Adam: "Yes."
Rita: "How do I know for sure?"
Adam: "Because I am his brother, for my sins."
Rita: "You could be Alan, pretending to be his brother."
Adam: "Oh, I'm definitely not that swine."
Rita: "Now I know you're not him."
Adam: "I heard what he'd done to you, and I'm so sorry."
Rita: "He never mentioned he had a brother."
Adam: "Well, that's not at all surprising."
Rita: "I don't understand."
Adam: "The family disowned him thirty-five years ago after..."
Rita: "Disowned him?"
Adam: "That's right."
Rita: "Why?"
Adam: Well, it's a bit..."
Rita: "I have a right to know. I did live with the bastard, you know."
Adam: "Yes. Well, you know how obsessed he was with money."
Rita: "Only too well."
Adam: "Well, he blackmailed my uncle. I don't know what it was about, but after he died, he left Alan nothing and told about the blackmail. Then he went around..."
Rita: "What?"
Adam: "Attacking woman."
Rita: "He did what?! What for?"
Adam: "If he couldn't get what he wanted, he'd lash out."
Rita: "So I know to my cost."
Adam: "Then we disowned him."
Rita: "I see. He never mentioned a family. Does Jenny know about you?"
Adam: "Jenny?"
Rita: "His daughter."
Adam: "So he had a daughter then."
Rita: "Yes. We were close until all that trouble started. Then she started to hate me. Blaming me for what happened."
Adam: "What happened?"
Rita: "She kept defending him, even after he was released. He turned her against me. Put lies into her head. He kept tormenting me whenever I was alone and made everyone around think I was crazy. No one believed me."
Adam: "He's like that. Totally deranged."
Rita: "Why are you talking about him in the present tense?"
Adam: "Am I?"
Rita: "Yes. Adam, what's going on?"
Adam: "I've done something stupid."
Rita: "What?"
Adam: "Did he do this to you?"
Rita: "Yes. And it didn't feel like it was his ghost either."
Adam: "Oh 'eck. Well, I suppose seeing as he's still after you, I'd better tell you. I brought him back to life. I'm a warlock."

To be continued...

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 6

Bet wandered around the corridors trying to find Rita. Finally she was shown by a nurse.

Bet: "Thanks you, nurse. Hello, Rita. Maurice told me you'd... Nurse! Nurse! Get away from her, Bradely! Rita, has he hurt you?"
Rita: "No, Bet. Calm down."
Bet: Don't tell me you're friends again. Not after everything that bastard's done to you."
Rita: "Bet, sit down."
Bet: "Not while he's here."
Rita: "This isn't Alan."
Bet: "Of course it is."
Rita: "Let me introduce you. Adam, this is my best mate, Bet Gilroy. Bet, this is Adam Bradley, Alan's brother."
Adam: "Pleased to meet you, Bet."
Bet: "And you."
Rita: "I thought the same thing when he walked in here."
Bet: (sits) "Are you sure he's not Alan?"
Rita: "Quite sure. He's been telling me Alan's life story."
Bet: "Life story? I thought you knew all about him."
Rita: "So did I, but there is a lot he forgot to mention."
Bet: "Like what?"
Rita: "His brother for one thing. And the fact his family disowned him after he got into trouble."
Bet: "I see. I'm sorry, Adam, is it?"
Adam: "Yes."
Bet: "I'm sorry, Adam. I really thought you were Alan."
Adam: "It's an easy mistake to make."
Bet: "Then you're twins."
Adam: "To my cost."
Rita: "It's so good to see you, Bet. How's everything?"
Bet: "Fine."
Rita: "Good. What shall we talk about? And don't say Alan Bradely."

Two weeks later Rita went home. Maurice was very sorry about calling her an alcoholic. She forgave him on the condition he was never to mention it again and there'd be no hanky panky until she was better. He agreed seeing as it was the least he could do.

The next day she was expecting Adam. Jenny said she'd pop round too. Maurice had gone to do some shopping. She waited patiently for him to arrive. She hid the vodka, tidied herself up and went to answer it, trying not to stagger again so she clutched the wall.

Rita: "I thought you'd never get here."
Alan: "Eh?"
Rita: "You'd better come in now you're here."
Alan: "Yes."
Rita: (closes the door) "Maurice has just popped out. He shouldn't be long. What kept you?"
Alan: "Erm...traffic."
Rita: "Well, sit down. Oh, shall I take your coat?"
Alan: "Thank you."
Rita: "I'll just go and hang it up. Won't be long."
Alan: "Take your time."
Rita: "Right. Now then. Would you like a drink?"
Alan: "Yes."
Rita: "Tea, coffee, or something stronger?"
Alan: "Got any scotch?"
Rita: "I think so, somewhere. Maurice loves it."
Alan: "Why are you being so nice to me?"
Rita: "Why not? It's not as if we're complete strangers, is it? I'll get your drink."
Alan: "What are you up to, Rita?"
Rita: "Nothing. I knew there'd be a bottle somewhere. Maurice can't live without it."
Alan: "Stop going on about Maurice!"

He lunged at her and while she screamed, strangled her.

Maurice bumped into Jenny in Alf's shop.

Maurice: "Oh, hello, Jenny."
Jenny: "Hiya. How's Rita?"
Maurice: "Fine. Still in a lot of pain."
Jenny: "That's only to be expected after what happened."
Maurice: "She's also having a lot of nightmares."
Jenny: "Do you know who did it?"
Maurice: "I'm afraid we do, even though it's hard to believe."
Jenny: "Who?"
Maurice: "Yer dad."
Jenny: "Not again."
Maurice: "This time she said he felt real, very real. In fact, she even cut his face and he bled."
Jenny: "What the hell's going on?"

Over at the flat, Rita's screams were now a quiet squeak. He thought he'd got her this time. There was a knock at the door. Alan's grip loosened slightly and Rita screamed. Alan hit her and tightened his grip again. The door was kicked open and in rushed Adam. He went to help her.

Adam: "Get off her!"
Alan: "Sod off!"
Adam: "I'm warning you. Let her go!"
Alan: "Never."

Alan gripped tighter. Adam hit him and he let her go. He helped Rita up.

Adam: "Are you all right, Rita?"
Rita: "Yes, thanks to you. If you hadn't arrived, he'd have killed me."
Adam: "I know."
Alan: "I shouldn't have let go."
Rita: "I'm glad you did. So, it's really you who's the maniac in the family, Adam."
Adam: "I'm not Alan. I'M Adam. I was delayed."
Rita: "Rubbish."
Adam: "I AM Adam. Tell her, Alan."
--------------------------
Jenny: "Did you ask Rita about her drinking?"
Maurice: "Not exactly. The doctor told me."
Jenny: "At the hospital?"
Maurice: "Yes. Doctor Martini was very helpful."
Jenny: "Martini? Like the drink?"
Maurice: "Yes. Anyway, I'm making her believe I believe her when she says she's not an alcoholic. It helps."
Jenny: "I hope so."
Maurice: "Will you be coming over today?"
Jenny: "Yes. I'm going now."
Maurice: "Well, tell Rita I'll be along shortly."
Jenny: "I will. See you."

Jenny put her shopping in number 7 then went to see Rita. When she arrived, she saw the door was open. Cautiously she went in."

Jenny: "Rita? Rita? Ri... AAARRRRGGGHHH!"
Rita: "Jenny."
Alan: "Jenny, love."
Adam: "Jenny, love."
Jenny: "What happened?"
Rita: "I was attacked again."
Jenny: "By me dad?"
Rita: "Actually, no. It was him who saved me."
Jenny: "From who?"
Rita: "His twin brother, Adam."
Jenny: "I didn't know he had a twin."
Rita: "No. The thought of someone else walking around who looks like him is sickening."
Jenny: "Dad?"
Adam: "I'm Adam."
Alan: "I'm Adam."
Maurice: "Oh, God! What's this? Rita? Are you hurt?"
Rita: "Only a bit. I'll be all right."
Maurice: "I think you'd both better leave and never come back."

Percy was waiting in the Rovers for Mark to arrive. Finally he did.

Percy: "I'd like a word with you, young man."
Mark: "What is it, Percy?"
Percy: "Mr Sugden to you."
Kevin: "I'll get your drink."
Mark: "Thanks, Kev. What then, MR Sugden?"
Percy: "It's about you and Mrs Bishop."
Mark: "What about us?"
Percy: "Is it right what I've heard about you two getting married?"
Mark: "Yes, as it happens. What's it got to do with you?"
Percy: "Everything. I know what your game is."
Mark: "And what's that supposed to be, Mr Sugden?"
Percy: "Money."
Mark: "Money? How do you work that out?"
Percy: "You've got no money, so you prey on the first widow available."
Mark: "Me?"
Percy: "Yes, you."
Mark: "But I've got money."
Percy: "Obviously not enough. So you took it upon yourself to seduce Mrs Bishop."
Mark: "I didn't seduce Emily."
Percy: "You would say that. Before you came along she was an innocent woman."
Mark: "Emily?"
Percy: "Yes, Mrs Bishop. And now because of you seducing her, she's so ashamed, she has to marry you."
Mark: "Anyway, Emily seduced me."
Percy: "A woman seducing a man? It's unthinkable. I wouldn't like it if a woman seduced me."
Mark: "Isn't that what Phyllis did to you?"
Percy: "Typical." (leaves)
Mark: "That shut him up."
Kevin: "Here's your drink."

Back to Rita. Jenny was in shock after seeing two Alan Bradley's. Rita thought she was drunk. Maurice wondered what the hell was going on. He brought them both drinks - fatal mistake where Rita's concerned.

Maurice: "Here you are."
Jenny: "What's that?"
Maurice: "Brandy."
Jenny: "I don't want any."
Maurice: "I thought seeing as you'd have a shock, you might like a drink."
Rita: "Well I'll have one."

She took a glass and drank it in one go. Jenny and Maurice just watched in silence as she put the glass down.

Rita: "That's better. Just what I needed."
Jenny: "It would be."
Maurice: "Are you sure you don't want it, Jenny?"
Jenny: "Postitive. Why don't you give it to Rita?"
Maurice: "Would you like it, Rita?"
Rita: "It'd be a shame to let it go to waste. Thanks. Purely medicinal, honestly."
Maurice: "I still don't understand it. Two Alan Bradley's."
Rita: "One Alan. The other's his twin brother."
Jenny: "I didn't know me dad had a brother."
Rita: "No. It was one of those little secrets he was so fond of hiding."
Maurice: "But why has he turned up now?"
Rita: "He's...done something he shouldn't."
Maurice: "What? Does it concern you?"
Rita: "Yes, and Jenny. Alan is her father."
Maurice: "I know. I wish I knew what was going on."
Jenny: "So do I. Rita, it's very confusing. If you know anything, I think we have a right to know."
Rita: "It's a very delicate subject."
Maurice: "I don't care. Jenny's right."
Rita: "All right. Now no interruptions. Adam is a warlock. Alan isn't. Adam brought his brother back to life, and that's all."

To be continued...

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 7

The following month, Phyllis and Percy's big day had finally arrived. Phyllis was walking on air, like she said she would be the day of Mavis's hen night.

Meanwhile Rita was a different person. No, not her twin sister but a schizophrenic as well as an alcoholic, and all words ending with a 'h'ic. She was finally getting a grip on her life, which made a change from getting a grip on the shop counter! Everyone noticed the difference and wondered what it was. She'd even stopped drinking. She was out, gripping her life, leaving Maurice on his own. There was a knock at the door.

Maurice: "Hello, Mavis."
Mavis: "Is Rita here?"
Maurice: "No, she's at the hairdresser's."
Mavis: "Oh."
Maurice: "She shouldn't be long. Why don't you come in and wait."
Mavis: "Are you sure it'll be all right?"
Maurice: "Of course. Come in."
Mavis: "Thank you. How long do you think she'll be?"
Maurice: "About 15 minutes."
-------------------------
Rita: "Is that the time? I have to go."
Alan: "Do you?"
Rita: "I'm afraid so. I have to go to Phyllis and Percy's wedding."
Alan: "Can't you put it off?"
Rita: "Not really. I'm supposed to be at the hairdresser's now."
Alan: "Well, your hair's changed slightly."
Rita: "What d'you mean?"
Alan: "Ruffled and messy."
Rita: "Not surprising after what we've been doing."
Alan: "I like it like that."
Rita: "Thanks a lot."
Alan: "Pleasure."
Rita: "Yours is messed up too."
Alan: "Don't you mean, what's left of it?"
Rita: "You've got a lot of hair compared to most men."
Alan: "Including Len?"
Rita: "Well, I don't suppose he's got much of anything left any more."
Alan: "Why, Rita."
Rita: "What?"
Alan: "You actually spoke about Len without any emotion or bitterness towards me."
Rita: "I did, didn't I?"
Alan: "It's so unlike you."
Rita: "Well, it's time to forget about the past."
Alan: "How about forgiving? Or is that too much to ask?"
Rita: "No, Alan, it's not too much to ask. I forgive you."
Alan: "Do you mean it?"
Rita: "Yes, I do. I'm sorry, Alan. It seems I was wrong about you."
Alan: "Of course you were. That's what I said all along, wasn't it?"
Rita: "Yes. I suppose you're happy now."
Alan: "Well..."
Rita: "Alan? What is it?"
Alan: "All right. I might as well tell you. I did mean to pay back the loan then you'd have known nothing about it. And the only reason I went back to you was to get money for the shop."
Rita: "You did what? I thought you loved me."
Alan: "Rita, calm down. I did, but only realised it after all this trouble. I also didn't mean to steal, as you called it, Len's name. But I tried everywhere with no luck. And I did hold a grudge against you, but everything got worse when you disappeared. People accused me of killing you. Anyway, I just thought I'd explain. Still forgiven?"
Rita: "Yes. Oh, I'd better be off. (gets up) See you again?"
Alan: "Of course. Bye, love." (kisses her)
Rita: "Bye." (leaves)
Alan: (closes the door) Now I've got you exactly where I want you, bitch!"

Half an hour later, Rita finally arrived home.

Maurice: "What kept you?"
Rita: "Nothing. Hello, Mavis. Everything all right?"
Mavis: "I'm not sure. I need to talk to you about something."
Rita: "All right."
Maurice: "We've got a wedding to go to this morning, remember?"
Rita: "Oh yes. Phyllis and Percy."
Mavis: "Something to celebrate."
Rita: "Yeah. Phyllis is like the Mounties."
Mavis: "The Mounties? How?"
Rita: "She always gets her man."
Maurice: (laughs) "Even if it takes decades."
Mavis: "Well, I have to be going now then."
Rita: "Oh, you don't have to."
Mavis: "I'll talk to you after the wedding."
Rita: "All right. I'll see you out."
Mavis: "See you later, Rita."
Rita: "Bye, Mavis."
Maurice: "You haven't answered my question."
Rita: "What was that?"
Maurice: "What kept you?"
Rita: "Nothing. Oh, I'd better be going."
Maurice: "You've only just got back."
Rita: "I'll be late."
Maurice: "For what?"
Rita: "Hairdresser's."
Maurice: "I thought you'd just come from there."
Rita: "Oh. Well, I, erm..."
Maurice: "Tell me to shut up if you like, but your hair doesn't look any different."
Rita: "Er...no. Well, when I got there, I found my appointment was double-booked."
Maurice: "If you were there, why didn't they do it?"
Rita: "The other woman got there before me."
Maurice: "That doesn't tell me anything."
Rita: "Well, I went to the other hairdresser's to see if they could fit me in, but they were fully booked so I came home. Why? What did you think I was doing?"
Maurice: "Nothing."
Rita: "It wasn't nothing. You were accusing me of something."
Maurice: "I wasn't, love."
Rita: "Oh, of course not(!) What d'you think I did? Cancel my hair appointment? Or better still, lie about it?"
Maurice: "Rita, what's got into you?"
Rita: "Me? It's you. You're accusing me of all sorts."
Maurice: "I was just worried about you."
Rita: "I can take care of myself."
Maurice: "Like you did when Alan Bradley had his hands around your throat, I suppose."
Rita: "Thanks a lot, Maurice!"
Maurice: "I didn't mean it like that."
Rita: "What did you mean then? I'm having it off with Alan Bradley? A sort of thank you for saving me from his psychotic brother? Like a reward?"
Maurice: "Well, I wouldn't put it past you."
Rita: "Oh, beat about the bush, why don't you."
Maurice: "I didn't mean with him. But you could be having an affair."
Rita: "Who with? Oh, don't tell me. Let me guess. The whole of Weatherfield's male population."
Maurice: "Don't be stupid."
Rita: "Oh, stupid as well as an adultress."
Maurice: "It just seems a bit funny that you're late quite often."
Rita: "Right! Well, if that's what you think, I'm going out!"
Maurice: "What about the wedding?"
Rita: "Stuff it! I'm going to have it off with Alan Bradley!" (leaves)
Maurice: "Rita! Rita!"

The wedding went without a hitch - and without Rita either. Everyone went to the reception at Emily's. It was Maurice's turn to get pissed and keep looking at the door for Rita, like she did at Mavis's do for Alan.

Bet: "Where's Rita?"
Maurice: "Don't know."
Bet: "Oh. Will she be coming?"
Maurice: "Wish I knew."
Bet: "In that case, I must've been seeing things."
Maurice: "What? What did you see?"
Bet: "Rita."
Maurice: "Rita? Where?"
Bet: "In town."
Maurice: "Doing what?"
Bet: "Getting into her car."
Maurice: "Anyone with her?"
Bet: "Yes."
Maurice: "Who? Bet, who was with her?"
Bet: "Alan Bradley."
Maurice: "Alan."
Bet: "Yeah. Like I said, I must've been seeing things. I think they're about to cut the cake." (walks off)
Maurice: "No. Oh, no. She wouldn't."
-----------------------------
Alan: "What's up, Rita?"
Rita: "Eh?"
Alan: "You haven't said much since you picked me up."
Rita: "Sorry. I was just thinking."
Alan: "I thought I smelt burning."
Rita: "Very funny."
Alan: "Is it that husband of yours?"
Rita: "Yes. I think he knows."
Alan: "About us?"
Rita: "I'm not sure. I know he suspects I'm having an affair, but I don't think he knows it's you."
Alan: "That's terrific!"
Rita: "Is it?"
Alan: "Yes. With any luck, he'll throw you out."
Rita: "Then I'll be homeless."
Alan: "You could live here."
Rita: "I don't know."
Alan: "Rita, it's perfect. You can divorce him, and marry me. Well, live with me anyway. Just like the good old days."
Rita: "Good old days?"
Alan: "The earlier days then."
Rita: "I don't want to hurt him."
Alan: "What are you doing here then?"
Rita: "Good question."
Alan: "Well?"
Rita: "I'll have to think about it."
-------------------------
Bet: "She didn't show then."
Maurice: "No."
Bet: "Well, she's probably at home."
Maurice: "Or with loverboy."
Bet: "Maurice, don't take any notice of what I said."
Maurice: "Where does he live, Bet?"
Bet: "I don't know."
Maurice: "Where does that bastard live?"
-------------------------
Rita: "Well, it's time I was going."
Alan: "Again?"
Rita: "Yes, again. I have to see if he knows anything."
Alan: "All right, love. I'll see you to your car."

They walked to Rita's car, discussing their next rendez-vous. They kissed goodbye and Rita drove off, leaving Alan smiling to himself.

Maurice: "That bitch! I'll kill her!"

To be continued...

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 8

Back to Emily's. The newly-weds had gone off on their honeymoon to Beirut. The guests were beginning to leave.

Bet: "Well, they've gone."
Emily: "Yes. Thank goodness."
Bet: "You're happy Percy's gone?"
Emily: "I feel like celebrating."
Bet: "That bad, eh?"
Emily: "Worse. He made me feel like I was in a concentration camp."
Bet: "What'll you do when he comes back?"
Emily: "He's not coming back."
Bet: "Is he not?"
Emily: "No. He's gone to live with Mrs Pearce. Or should I say, Sugden."
Bet: "And the best of British to her."
Emily: "I quite agree."
Bet: "Oh, there's Rita. It was a lovely do, Emily. Goodnight."
Emily: "Goodnight."
Bet: "Rita! Rita!"
Rita: "Hello, Bet."
Bet: "I'm glad I caught you."
Rita: "Where are you going all dressed up like a dog's dinner?"
Bet: "Nowhere. I've just come back from somewhere."
Rita: "I thought you were going to say, so a dog could eat you."
Bet: "What? With my Alec?"
Rita: "I thought you were still separated."
Bet: "We are, But that's not what I want to talk to you about."
Rita: "Where've you been then?"
Bet: "The wedding."
Rita: "Wedding? What... Oh no. I'd forgotten. Was Maurice there?"
Bet: "He was."
Rita: "How was he?"
Bet: The same as you were at Mavis and Derek's reception."
Rita: "I don't know what you mean, Bet."
Bet: "Constantly looking at the door for you to show and pissed."
Rita: "He doesn't get pissed."
Bet: "He did today."
Rita: "Oh."
Bet: "Have you two had a row?"
Rita: "Just a little one. He accused me of having an affair."
Bet: "Oh no."
Rita: "What?"
Bet: "Have you seen him?"
Rita: "Not since this morning. Why?"
Bet: "Well, he asked about you, and I told him I thought I'd seen you with Alan Bradley."
Rita: "You did what?"
Bet: "I know it's not true. I mean, you love Maurice. You'd never do that to him. Not even with Alan Bradley."
Rita: "Then what?"
Bet: "When you didn't show, he demanded to know where he lived."
Rita: "Lives. He's alive."
Bet: "Alive? How?"
Rita: "It's a long story. And?"
Bet: "I told him, and he went charging off."
Rita: "Oh, God!"
Bet: "I thought Alan were dead and buried."
Rita: "He was."
Bet: "I don't understand."
Rita: "Keep it that way."
Bet: "Eh? What's going on?"
Maurice: "Ahh, there you are, you bitch!"
Rita: "Not now, Bet. Hello, love."
Maurice: "Don't you "love" me. Whore!"
Rita: "I think we'd better discuss this inside."
Maurice: "Why? Afraid of what your friends would think if they knew you were screwing with ALAN BRADLEY?"
Bet: "I'll be going then." (leaves)
Maurice: "Yeah, you go. Thanks for helping me find out about my wife."
Rita: "Inside, Maurice!"

Bet went into the mini-market where she was living in the flat. She had to do some shopping and bumped into Alec.

Alec: "Bet?"
Bet: "What is it, Alec?"
Alec: "We have to talk."
Bet: "I thought'd we'd said everything. Now, if you'll excuse me-"
Alec: "I want you to come back."
Bet: "Why?"
Alec: "I want you to. Isn't that enough?"
Bet: "No. Rita could've died."
Alec: "But she didn't."
Bet: "Luckily."
Alec: "I love you, Bet. I miss you. Will you come home?"

Over to Rita's. Maurice and her Ladyship were having a throw-anything-handy row.

Maurice: "How could you?"
Rita: "It wasn't easy you know."
Maurice: "And what was that I saw on the street? Decision making?"
Rita: "Oh come on, Maurice. You practically accused me of having an affair this morning."
Maurice: "Stated, not accused."
Rita: "All right, stated."
Maurice: "I thought you loved me."
Rita: "I do."
Maurice: "Looks like it. Jumping into bed with a homicidal nut."
Rita: "I never did!"
Maurice: "Well, I hope he kills you next time. Actually manages to do the job properly instead of cocking it up."
Rita: "You don't mean that."
Maurice: "I most certainly do. I'm always here to protect you. Well not any more. Go on. Shack up with him. Only don't expect me to show up at your funeral. Get out!"
--------------------------------
Bet: "All right, Alec. I'll come home."
Alec: "Let's go then."
Bet: "What about me stuff?": "You can collect it later."

As Bet and Alec walked happily out of the shop they heard shouting. They stopped and looked as Maurice threw Rita's clothes out the window, followed by her suitcase. Then they saw the shop door open and Maurice push her out onto the ground.

Maurice: "Go to him!"
Rita: "Maurice, please."
Maurice: "Get out of my sight!"
Rita: "Maurice."
Maurice: "I hope he kills you!" (slams the door)
Rita: "This is my house! If anyone should get out it's you!"
Maurice: (from window) "I built it!"
Rita: "Maurice! Maurice!"
Bet: "Rita?"
Rita: "This is all your fault, Bet!"

Rita went to collect her clothes. She wasn't crying - because she was still dehydrated. Bet went back over to Alec and told him everything. Rita threw her case into her car then drove to Alan and boy was he happy to see her!

Alan: "So, he knew then after all."
Rita: "Yes. Bet told him."
Alan: "How did she know?"
Rita: "She saw me picking you up."
Alan: "And now he's thrown you out."
Rita: "Yes, but it's my flat and shop."
Alan: "No going back?"
Rita: "Definitley not."
Alan: "You'll be staying then."
Rita: "Yes."
Alan: "Wonderful."

A month later practically everything was back to normal. Rita was still living with Alan, and Maurice was now the alcoholic in the street. Alan had a job in a security firm. His brother watched him leave then went to see Rita.

Rita: "Yes? Oh, no!"
Adam: "Please, Rita. I have to talk to you."
Rita: "Oh, no. You'll start all innocent then lunge at me. No thanks."
Adam: "It wasn't me."
Rita: "You would say that."
Adam: "It's true. I was delayed that morning. Ask my boss. I was in a meeting with him."
Rita: "You've had plenty of time to come up with some tale."
Adam: "It's true. Rita, get out of here. Alan'll kill you."
Rita: "Don't be stupid. If he was going to, he'd have done it by now."
Adam: "He waited for you to get away from your husband then no one'll help you. I saved you from him. He blackmailed me to
stay away."
Rita: "You're a liar."
Adam: "You know what I am. I brought that bastard back. If I wanted to kill you, I wouldn't do it with my hands."
Rita: "Oh, leave me alone!"

She slammed the door in his face. Adam decided to go to Maurice for help. Shortly afterwards, Alan came back unexpectedly.

Rita: "I thought you were going to work."
Alan: "I was."
Rita: "You'll be late."
Alan: "I don't care..."

Adam pounded on Maurice's door until finally he answered.

Adam: "Mr Jones."
Maurice: "Sod off, Bradley! You've got my wife, now leave me alone."
Adam: "I'm Adam Bradley, not my psychotic brother."
Maurice: "How do I know that?"
Adam: "Please believe me. I'm worried about Rita."
Maurice: "So what?"
Adam: "I think he's going to kill her today."
Maurice: "I don't care. I hope he manages it this time."
Adam: "You don't really mean that."
Maurice: "No. No, I don't. But she decided to have an affair with him in the first place. What can I do about it?"
Adam: "Help her."
Maurice: "How?"
Adam: "Get her away from him before he kills her."
Maurice: "How do you know he'll do it today?"
Adam: "We're telepathic. I know exactly what he's thinking."
Maurice: "Come off it."
Adam: "It's true. I don't trust him. Every time he does something bad, I know about it. Uh-oh."
Maurice: "What?"
Adam: "I can't see anything."
Maurice: "Is that bad?"
Adam: "Very."
Maurice: "Come on then. We've got to save her."
Mavis: "Hello, Mr Jones. Oh."
Derek: "That's not nice, is it, Mavis?"
Mavis: "He looks like he's in a hurry."
Derek: "He could have an accident."
Mavis: "Perhaps something's happened to Rita."
Derek: "More likely someone's discovered his tax returns."
Mavis: "Oh, Derek!"

Adam and Maurice sped to Alan's flat praying nothing would happen. Adam pulled in and slammed on the brakes, almost crashing into the car in front. They rushed to the flat and found the door was open. Cautiously, they went in and saw Rita lying on the bed with an MFI cushion over her face.

Adam: "Makes a change from his hands."
Maurice: "Oh, Rita. Is she all right?"
Adam: "I'm afraid not. Well, he did it. She's dead."

To be continued...

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 9

Lunchtime in the Rovers.

Bet: "Yes, Mave?"
Mavis: "Half a pint and a sweet sherry please, Bet."
Derek: "And a couple of Betty's delicious hotpots."
Bet: "Sorry, Betty's not in today."
Mavis: "Is she ill?"
Bet: "Just a bit."
Derek: "Whatever you've got then."
Bet: "Pie?"
Derek: "Erm...yes, all right."
Bet: "I'll bring them over."
Mavis: "Thanks, Bet."
Derek: "Have you heard from Rita yet?"
Mavis: "No."
Derek: "It's a bit inconvenient for you, Mavis."
Mavis: "I don't mind."
Derek: "Well you should. It's unfair leaving you like this. A few days is fine, but a whole month? It reminds me of when she disappeared to Blackpool."
Mavis: "She was ill, Derek. She didn't know what she was doing."
Derek: "She's not ill now."
Mavis: "No, and I'm worried about her."
Derek: "There's nothing wrong with her, Mavis, except pure laziness."
Mavis: "Do you know what happened between her and Maurice?"
Derek: "No. That's a stupid question. You work underneath their flat, so you should know if anybody does."
Bet: "Here y'are."
Mavis: "Thanks, Bet. Tell me, do you know where Rita is?"
Bet: "Yes. Yes I do."
Mavis: "Where?"
Bet: "I'm sorry, Mavis. My lips are sealed. I promised Rita after Maurice..."
Mavis: "What?"
Bet: "Chucked her out."
Mavis: "Chucked her out? Why?"
Bet: "I'm not allowed to say."
Mavis: "Well, I'm worried about her. She hasn't shown her face round here for a whole month. Then suddenly Adam Bradley turns up to see Maurice."
Bet: "What did he want?"
Mavis: "I don't know. He'd not been there long when he and Maurice rushed out."
Bet: "Did they say where they were going?"
Mavis: "No. But if Maurice wanted nothing more to do with Rita like he's so fond of telling me, as well as insulting her, why did he suddenly go out like that?"
Bet: "Oh no. He wouldn't."
Mavis: "Who wouldn't?"
Bet: "Alan Bradley."
Derek: "He's dead."
Bet: "Was, Derek. It's a long story, but now he's alive and I think he's done something to Rita."
Mavis: "What's Alan Bradley got to do with all this?"
Bet: "I promised Rita, but if he's done anything to her, I might as well tell you. Maurice threw her out because she was seeing Alan."
Mavis: "Seeing Alan?"
Bet: "Having an affair with him."
Derek: "That's not surprising."
Mavis: "Derek!"
Derek: "Just look at her past form."
Mavis: "We won't go into that. Why is she having an affair with him, Bet?"
Bet: "Well, by all accounts, he saved her life when his brother had his hands round her throat. She couldn't tell the difference, but it seems a bit suspect that he'd save her after trying to murder her."
Mavis: "Oh. What are you going to do, Bet?"
Bet: "Get round there right now."

Maurice was full of guilt after telling her he hoped Alan would finish the job this time and kill her. He clutched her lifeless body to his chest and rocked, sobbing his drunken heart out.

Maurice: "Isn't there anything you can do?"
Adam: "I don't know."
Maurice: "You're a warlock. Can't you bring her back to life?"
Adam: "I don't know."
Maurice: "I think you'd better."
Adam: "Why?"
Maurice: "It's the least you can do. If you hadn't brought that maniac brother of yours back to life, none of this would've
happened. You owe her something."
Adam: "Yes, but supposing she'd rather be dead?"
Bet: "Dead? Who's dead? Maurice?"
Adam: "Rita."
Mavis: "Oh, no. Not Rita."
Adam: "I said it was a bad sign."
Maurice: "I shouldn't have thrown her out. This is your fault."
Adam: "Mine?"
Maurice: "Yes."
Adam: "Why?"
Maurice: "If you hadn't have shown up, she wouldn't have got confused."
Adam: "I had to tell her what I'd done."
Maurice: "Yes, and if you hadn't-"
Adam: "He'd have still got her in the end. Being dead wouldn't have stopped him."
Maurice: "Oh, Rita." (sobbing) "Rita, Rita, Rita."
Adam: "I think you ladies should go."
Bet: "Why?"
Adam: "It would be better. Also, if you wouldn't say anything about this to anyone, it would be much appreciated."
Mavis: "But people have a right to know."
Adam: "No. Please go."
Bet: "All right. Come on, Mavis."
Maurice: "Does that mean..?"
Adam: "I'll try, but I can't promise anything."
Maurice: "All right."
Adam: "I think you'd better go too."
Maurice: "Why?"
Adam: "It might not work."
Maurice: "It better, and I'm staying right here."
Adam: "If that's what you want."
Maurice: "It is."
Adam: "Right. Let's get on with it then."
--------------------------
Mavis: "Poor Rita."
Bet: "I know, Mave."
Mavis: "No one would believe her about him, you know."
Bet: "Yes, I know. Wonder why he doesn't want us to say anything."
Mavis: "Perhaps he thinks it would be better for Maurice to get over the shock first."
Bet: "Yeah. Could be. You won't say anything, will you, Mavis?"
Mavis: "No."
Bet: "Me neither."
--------------------------
Maurice: "It's not working."
Adam: "Give it a chance."
Maurice: "How long does it take?"
Adam: "It depends."
Rita: "Mmmmmmm."
Maurice: "Rita? It's working."
Adam: "Maybe."
Maurice: "Rita, love."
Rita: "Maurice? What are you doing here?"
Maurice: "I love you."
Rita: "I love you. That swine did it again. How long was I out?"
Adam: "Not long. Rita, I have to tell you something. He killed you."
Rita: "Killed me? Oh, 'eck. He really did it this time. Died. Oh, God!"

Derek sat in the Rovers supping his half, waiting patiently for Mavis to come back. He was really worried about Rita, even though he daren't say anything to Mavis. He still cared about his old flame and hoped nothing had happened. Bet and Mavis arrived back and stood outside before going in.

Mavis: "What will we say if anyone asks?"
Bet: "Let's just say she's been attacked again."
Mavis: "That all?"
Bet: "It'll be better that way."
Mavis: "All right."
Derek: "Hello, Mavis."
Mavis: "Derek."
Derek: "Are you all right?"
Mavis: "No, not really."
Derek: "Where did you get to?"
Mavis: "Alan Bradley's."
Derek: "Where's Rita? Was she there?"
Mavis: "She was there. Ooh, Derek."
Derek: "is she all right?"
Mavis: "No. She's been attacked again."
Derek: "Alan?"
Mavis: "Yes. That's why Maurice and Adam rushed out like that. They must've known."
Derek: "Has she been taken to hospital?"
Mavis: "I don't know."
Derek: "But you were there."
Mavis: "I know. Adam sent us away."
Derek: "What for?"
Mavis: "Said it would be better."
Derek: "Is she badly hurt?"
Mavis: "I think so. She was unconscious."
Derek: "Was Alan there?"
Mavis: "No."
Derek: "Typical of the man. I hope they get him this time."
------------------------------
Rita: "Are you sure he actually killed me?"
Adam: "Positive."
Rita: "Then I was wrong after all."
Adam: "He didn't help matters by denying who he was."
Rita: "No."
Maurice: "I didn't help much either."
Rita: "No. I suppose you're happy now."
Maurice: "Why should I be?"
Rita: "You wanted him to kill me."
Maurice: "I was hurt and upset. I didn't really mean it."
Rita: "You would say that now."
Maurice: "Honestly, love. Adam'll tell you. He came round to me this morning to tell me he was worried about you."
Adam: "I did, Rita. Straight after I tried to talk some sense into you."
Maurice: "Then we both rushed round here."
Rita: "Rushed?"
Adam: "Me and Alan are telepathic, Rita. I've known everything he's been planning to do. It's a bad sign when things go blank."
Maurice: "That's why we rushed here."
Rita: "Telepathic? Come on. I'm not that daft."
Adam: "It's true."
Rita: "Sure it is(!)"
Adam: "Why else d'you think I came here trying to get you away from him?"
Rita: "Sympathy?"
Adam: "No. It's because I don't like that swine."
Rita: "No. Well, no one round here does."
Maurice: "You got that right. It was easy to get confused, love."
Rita: "Do you know where he is?"
Adam: "I have an idea."
Maurice: "Are you coming home, love."
Rita: "Yeah, and I'll never be that stupid again."
Maurice: "I'll forgive you if you were."
Rita: "No chance. What are we going to do about him?"
Adam: "There's only one thing to do and you're the one who has to do it, Rita."

To be continued...

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 10

A week later everything really was back to normal, apart from Alan Bradley's disappearance. Mavis was still letting Victor rub her all over and she loved it. Derek dumped Hilda curler-head and kept an eye on Rita whenever she showed her face. Maurice was back at work and had stopped drinking now he had his wife home, but kept popping home to check on her. And Rita was being comforted by her oldest, best friend - vodka. And boy, was she happy. Now she's had a much-needed refill she should be able to show some emotion.

Bet: "Hiya, kid."
Mavis: "Morning, Bet."
Bet: "Rita in, is she?"
Mavis: "Yes. She's upstairs."
Bet: "How's she been?"
Mavis: "Quiet. Distant."
Bet: "Well, she's been thorough a lot lately, hasn't she?"
Mavis: "Yes."
Bet: "I'll go up then."
Mavis: "Right."

Rita had just finished her umpteenth bottle and was just starting another when there was a knock at the door. She put her bottle down and cautiously staggered to the door.

Rita: "Who is it?"
Bet: "It's me."
Rita: "Hang on."

She hid her bottle and stuffed more of those ever reliable polos into her mouth. She straightened her hair and clothes once again, then went to let Bet in.

Rita: "Sorry about that, Bet. I wasn't decent. I take it you've come to see me."
Bet: "No, as a matter of fact, it's not."
Rita: "Who did you want then?"
Bet: "Your husband."
Rita: "Maurice? What for?"
Bet: "We arranged to have our little affair while you were out, but seeing as you're here, I'd better see if I can catch him to arrange another meeting."
Rita: "He shouldn't be too long. You'd better come in and wait. When he does show, I'll make myself scarce so you two can get on with it."
Bet: "Thanks. How long d'you think he'll be?"
Rita: "It's hard to tell. Ever since I came back, he keeps his beady little eye on me. He never stays more than two minutes. Will that be long enough for you?"
Bet: "Perfect."
Rita: "You're a daft cow, Gilroy."
Bet: "I thought I'd cheer you up."
Rita: "You have, Bet. Sit down."
Bet: "Thanks."
Rita: "Like a drink?"
Bet: "No ta."
Rita: "You don't mind if I have one."
Bet: "Course not."
Rita: "So, what d'you want to see me about?"
Bet: "I just wondered how you were."
Rita: "Awful if you must know."
Bet: "You look half dead."
Rita: "Better than whole dead I suppose."
Bet: "I don't know. You looked better dead than you do now."
Rita: "What did you just say?"
Bet: "Nothing. Nothing at all."
Rita: "It weren't nothing. How much do you know?"
Bet: "Nothing."
Rita: "You say nothing again, and I'll hit you with this bottle."
Bet: "We went round, me and Mavis. We saw you. You were 100% dead."
Rita: "Well I'm not now."
Bet: "What I want to know is, how come you're alive now when you died?"

Mavis was just shutting for lunch when Maurice walked in.

Mavis: "I was just shutting. Oh, Maurice. It's you."
Maurice: "Off you go then. Rita still upstairs?"
Mavis: "Yes. She's got company."
Maurice: "Who? Alan Bradley?"
Mavis: "No, Bet. Bye."
Adam: "Maurice!"
Maurice: "What is it, Adam?"
Adam: "I know where he is."
Maurice: "You do?"
Adam: "Yeah. We'll have to get cracking before he moves again."
Maurice: "Get cracking on what?"
Adam: "Our plan to get rid of the bastard."
Maurice: "What plan is this?"
Adam: "I'll have to talk to Rita about it because she's the only one who can do it."
Maurice: "All right. Can you come back tonight? I'd like to spend some time with my wife."
Adam: "Fine. About six?"
Maurice: "Six o'clock. I'll tell her you'll be coming. See yer later."
---------------------------
Rita: "And that's it."
Bet: "Adam's a warlock?"
Rita: "Yes. That's how Alan turned up again. He did that."
Bet: "Pull the other one."
Rita: "It's true, Bet. He's the complete opposite of that swine. I didn't believe he actually worried about what happened to me. But he proved it by bringing me back."
Bet: "So that's why he wanted to get rid of me and Mavis and told us not to say anything."
Maurice: "Hiya, Bet."
Bet: "Hi, Maurice."
Rita: "Your lover's finally arrived, Bet."
Bet: "About time an' all."
Rita: "Shall I make meself scarce now?"
Bet: "Just for a couple of minutes."
Rita: "All right. But, Bet. Please don't make too much of a mess."
Bet: "I'll try not to."
Rita: "And make the bed after."
Bet: "I will."
Maurice: "What's going on?"
Rita: "Nothing, love."
Maurice: "What lover?"
Rita: "Private joke."
Maurice: "Perhaps you'll let me in on it sometime."
Rita: "I will, love."
Bet: "I'd better get back to the Rovers."
Rita: "Okay, Bet. Pity you had a wasted trip."
Bet: "Never mind. There's always next time."
Rita: "I bet there will be."
Bet: "See yer, kid."
Rita: "Trah, Bet."
Maurice: "What was all that about?"
Rita: "Nowt, love. Checking up on me again, are you?"
Maurice: "I worry about you with that maniac loose somewhere."
Rita: "At least there's one good thing that came out of all this mess."
Maurice: "What's that?"
Rita: "Me."
Maurice: "True." (kisses her)
Rita: "Is there something the matter?"
Maurice: "Yes. I had a visit from Adam."
Rita: "What did he want."
Maurice: "He says he knows where Alan is."
Rita: "Does he now."
Maurice: "He's coming back at six to talk to you."
Rita: "What does he want to talk to me about?"
Maurice: "He says you're the only one who can get rid of Alan for good."

Evening now. Nearly everyone was in the Rovers, including Phyllis.

Bet: "On yer own, Phyllis?"
Phyllis: "Yeah."
Bet: "Where's Percy?"
Phyllis: "He's gone off on his own."
Bet: "Where to? Manchester?"
Phyllis: "A bit further afield."
Bet: "Yorkshire? London?"
Phyllis: "Try Beirut."
Bet: "Beirut?! What's the attraction of Beirut?"
Phyllis: "I don't know. He took me there for our honeymoon."
Bet: "And he's gone there? What for?"
Phyllis: "Holiday, he says. I wish to God I'd never married him."
Bet: "How long's he gone for?"
Phyllis: "Indefinitely, he says. Seems to me like he wants to get as far away from me as possible."
Bet: "Aren't you going to follow him?"
Phyllis: "Not likely. If that's the way he feels, he can stay out there."
Bet: "Poor you, Phyllis."
Phyllis: "There's no poor anything. To be quite honest, he's not exactly husbandly."
Bet: "Are you demanding, Phyllis? My Alec is?"
Phyllis: "Yes I am, but Percy runs away. The so-called hero. If he's like that, I'm glad to be rid of him. Cheers."
Bet: "Cheers, Phyllis."
--------------------------
Rita: "I thought you said he'd be here at six."
Maurice: "That's what he told me."
Rita: "We cut things short because he's supposed to be coming."
Maurice: "We'll carry on when he's gone."
Rita: "If he comes in the first place."
Maurice: "He'd better. We could do something to pass the time."
Rita: "We could, couldn't we?"
Maurice: "Come here..."

Adam was annoyed at Alan. He decided to visit him to find out what his intentions were concerning Rita. He knew he'd lie to him if necessary. He knocked on the door.

Adam: "Hello, Alan."
Alan: "What the hell do you want?"
Adam: "To talk."
Alan: "There's nothing to talk about."
Adam: "I think there is."
Alan: "Like what?"
Adam: "Rita Jones."
Alan: "Her name's Fairclough."
Adam: "If you prefer. But she did marry Maurice Jones."
Alan: "That bitch should've married me."
Adam: "She didn't have to. You never loved her."
Alan: "I did."
Adam: "The only thing you loved was yourself."
Alan: "That's not true."
Adam: "All right. Her money. She was worth a few quid."
Alan: "Was?"
Adam: "She's dead."
Alan: "Is she?"
Adam: "Yes. We found her."
Alan: "We?"
Adam: "Me and Maurice. She was dead."
Alan: "Does that mean I'll have no fun anymore?"
Adam: "Yes."
Alan: "Pity. How did you know about Rita? I mean, to come looking for the bitch."
Adam: "You've forgotten something, Alan. We're telepathic."
Alan: "Oh yes, so we are. And you're a warlock, and I'm not. Big deal."
Adam: "Yes I am. And I brought you back."
Alan: "Don't start on this, 'what a blind fool I've been' crap either."
Adam: "I won't. How long will you be staying here? In this flat?"
Alan: "A few months. At least until Rita Fairclough is rotting."

To be continued...

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 11

Rita and Maurice had just finished killing time - again.

Rita: "It's gone seven now. Are you sure he's coming?"
Maurice: "He said so."
Rita: "He'd better come soon, or I'll start throwing things."
Maurice: "Rita, can I ask you something?"
Rita: "What?"
Maurice: "It's about your drinking."
Rita: "Oh aye?"
Maurice: "I know you did drink, love. You can't deny that."
Rita: "No. I did drink. A lot. But it was because of that swine."
Maurice: "I understand."
Rita: "Do you?"
Maurice: "Yes. You also stopped when you, er... lived with him."
Rita: "Yes."
Maurice: "Have you started again?"
Rita: "You what?"
Maurice: "Well, you seem to have changed since you got back."
Rita: "How have I changed?"
Maurice: "You're more easy-going than before."
Rita: "So you think I've been hitting the booze again like a tornado."
Maurice: "I didn't say that."
Rita: "What are you saying?"
Maurice: "I was just wondering if you've been having more than a couple a day, that's all."
Rita: "Well I haven't."
Maurice: "Glad to hear it."
Rita: "Are you now(?)"
Maurice: "Yes. I don't want anything to happen to you."
Rita: "Don't you?"
Maurice: "No. I love you. It's taken me so long to find true love, I'd hate to lose it because of cirrhosis."
Rita: "You've no worries on that score."
Maurice: "Good. You don't know how much you mean to me, darling."
Rita: "I think I have a good idea. Oh, no. Not again."

Adam wasn't getting through to his homicidal brother.

Adam: "Let it go, Alan."
Alan: "Rita? Never."
Adam: "You've finally got what you wanted."
Alan: "I know I have."
Adam: "I thought you'd be celebrating."
Alan: "So did I."
Adam: "What's up, Alan? You can tell me."
Alan: "I think you know already, seeing as we're telepathic."
Adam: "It's blank. What is it? Rita?"
Alan: "Yes."
Adam: "You got exactly what you wanted."
Alan: "I know. I expect the police are looking for me."
Adam: "They don't know you're alive again."
Alan: "Oh."
Adam: "Tell me what's troubling you."
Alan: "I killed her. I actually did it this time."
Adam: "Yes. Is that it? Your problem?"
Alan: "No. I've realised I love her, despite everything."
Adam: "I thought you hated her."
Alan: "So did I. I was so bitter towards her after she sent me to prison all I wanted to do was get revenge. But it's too late now, isn't it?"
Adam: "Much too late."
Alan: "You could bring her back though."
Adam: "Well..."
Alan: "Then I could prove how much I love her."
Adam: "I'll have to discuss it with her husband."
Alan: "He doesn't have to know."
Adam: "Supposing he saw her one day walking down the street, or in a shop? How d'you think he'd react?"
Alan: "Oh."
Adam: "I'll talk to him now. See what he says."
Alan: "All right. But I really do love her, you know. I'm not just pretending."

Over at the Wiltons, things were icy between Derek and Mavis.

Derek: "I really have finished with Hilda, Mavis."
Mavis: "How do I know that?"
Derek: "Because it's true. I have other things on my mind."
Mavis: "Like what?"
Derek: "Rita."
Mavis: "Rita? What's she got to do with anything?"
Derek: "Well, the twins turning up like they did made me think."
Mavis: "About what?"
Derek: "The past."
Mavis: "I thought the past was, well, past."
Derek: "So did I."
Mavis: "What are you going on abaout, Derek?"
Derek: "I did love Rita, Mavis, all those years ago."
Mavis: "A lot of water's gone under the bridge since then."
Derek: "It most certainly has, Mavis."
Mavis: "Or has it? What's going on, Derek?"
Derek: "She was my first girlfriend. Lover too."
Mavis: "So?"
Derek: "They say you never forget your first love."
Mavis: "Well you did. All those years when our relationship was on and off more than t'lightswitch, you didn't know it was her."
Derek: "I know."
Mavis: "Well?"
Derek: "I hate to say this, Mavis. I love you very much."
Mavis: "And you hate saying that?"
Derek: "No."
Mavis: "What do you hate to say, Derek?"
Derek: "I think I still care deeply about Rita."
Mavis: "You mean, you love her?"
Derek: "Not like you. But yes. I think I do."
Mavis: "She's married."
Derek: "I know she is. I can't help it, Mavis."
Mavis: "Oh, Derek!"

Rita and Maurice were still at it, which makes a change from her getting her thrills from her old friend, father vodka bottle. A knock at the door interrupted their excitement on the sofa. Well, they still are newly-weds aren't they? And you know they can't keep their hands off each other. Maurice got up and went to answer the door.

Maurice: "I thought you'd never get here."
Adam: "I was delayed. Sorry."
Rita: "Who is it?"
Adam: "Adam Bradley."
Rita: "About flipping time."
Maurice: "Come in."
Adam: "Thanks."
Rita: "What kept you?"
Adam: "I was with Alan."
Rita: "That swine? What did he want?"
Adam: "Actually, I went to see him."
Rita: "What for?"
Adam: "To find out what his plans were."
Rita: "And?"
Adam: "I told him you were dead. He was very upset."
Rita: "A front."
Adam: "No, Rita. It was genuine."
Rita: "Will he be moving on?"
Adam: "Not for a while. Which means we can finally get rid of him."
Maurice: "We?"
Adam: "Well, Rita can anyroad."
Rita: "I can't wait. What do I have to do?"
Adam: "Wait a minute, Rita. I have something to tell you first."
Rita: "What?"
Adam: "It might change your mind about him. And what he said was honest."
Rita: "What did that bastard tell you?"
Adam: "It's no lie, Rita. He said he loves you."

Mavis was in shock after what dripface told her. Perhaps she needs a drink. You know, something stronger than sherry to turn her into an alcoholic too.

Mavis: "I can't believe you just said that, Derek."
Derek: "Well, it's true. It's not my fault I feel strongly towards her."
Mavis: "What are you going to do?"
Derek: "I don't know yet."
Mavis: "Just don't consider having an affair with her, that's all."
Derek: "Why not?"
Mavis: "Well for one thing, you're married to me."
Derek: "That's never stopped me."
Mavis: "No, it hasn't. And for another, she's happily married to Maurice."
Derek: "Is she?"
Mavis: "Yes, she definitely is."
Derek: "Tell me then, Mavis. Why did she have an affair with Alan Bradley?"
Mavis: "She was confused. She didn't know what she was doing."
Derek: "Exactly."
Mavis: "But she wasn't confused when she got mixed up with you."
Derek: "She loved me."
Mavis: "Did she?"
Derek: "She had my children."
Mavis: "After you deserted her."
Derek: "If she didn't love me, she wouldn't have gone through with it."
Mavis: "I don't know. Perhaps she was ill."
Derek: "Ill?"
Mavis: "Or desperate."
Derek: "What d'you mean, desperate?"
Mavis: "Well she'd have to be to get involved with you in the first place."
Derek: "Don't be daft."
Mavis: "I'm not sure I am being."
Derek: "You weren't."
Mavis: "I'm not so sure now. At my age."
Derek: "Mavis!"

Rita too was in shock after what Adam had told her about his nutty brother.

Rita: "You're lying."
Adam: "I'm not. He told me himself."
Rita: "He's lying then."
Adam: "He isn't, Rita. He genuinely meant every word."
Rita: "He'd definitely lying. What did you tell him about me?"
Adam: "That you're dead."
Rita: "Well, that proves it."
Adam: "What?"
Rita: "He says he loves me now I'm dead."
Adam: "He regretted killing you."
Rita: "Sure he did(!)"
Adam: "He wants more than anything to make it up to you."
Rita: "Liar!"
Adam: "He wants me to bring you back to life so he can prove it."
Rita: "And then what? Get his hands round my throat again?"
Adam: "It's not like that."
Rita: "Of course not(!)"
Adam: "I'm his brother, Rita. I should know."
Rita: "Naturally."
Adam: "He does love you. I can read his mind you know. I know what he's thinking about right now."
Rita: ""And what's that supposed to be?"
Adam: "You."
Rita: "More like thinking I'll be alive again so he can kill me."
Adam: "Give him a chance, Rita."
Rita: "Give him a chance?! I've given him two already and look where that nearly got me."
Adam: "Where?"
Rita: "Next to Len. Or on top of him. I can't remember."
Adam: "So, you'd rather go through with our plan."
Rita: "Too right. I want to see that swine suffer like he made me do. I'll do anything, ANYTHING, to get rid of him permanantly."

To be continued...

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 12

We now fly thousands of miles away to Beirut. Percy had been kidnapped to shut him up. He was branded a traitor. The kidnappers sent a ransom demand for 1p (he was being devalued every second as the got more desperate) to Phyllis. If she didn't pay up, Percy would be used as target practice for the firing squad.

Percy: "I'm a British subject. You can't do this to me."
Kidnapper: "We have sent a ransom note to your wife."
Percy: "Well, she'll pay."
Kidnapper: "I hope so, for your sake."
Percy: "What d'you mean?"
Kidnapper: "If she hasn't paid by next week, you'll be shot. Now kindly shut up!"
--------------------------
Alec: "Will you be paying then, Phyllis?"
Phyllis: "Not likely."
Alec: "It's only 1p."
Phyllis: "It doesn't matter. He chose to go out there. No one forced him."

Adam had gone down the pub with Maurice, leaving Rita consoling herself with ever-faithful Mr vodka, thinking about the suggestion concerning the extinction of Alan Bradley. It seemed like a good idea and with Adam's powers might work. She got rid of another empty bottle and started on another. When she was halfway through, there was a knock at the door. She had a feeling it was Alan, so ignored it and continued being comforted. Another knock. She realised it couldn't possibly be Alan if he thought she was dead. She got off the bed, shoved the bottle under it then went to answer the door. She really did it this time. Two seconds after staggering on her feet, she fell flat on her face.

Rita: "I think I might have to start mixing the vodka." (gets up) "Don't tell me they're making it stronger. Who is it?"
Derek: "Rita, it's me."
Rita: "Me who?"
Derek: "Derek who."
Rita: "Oh, you who." (opens the door) "What d'you want, Derek?"
Derek: "I have to talk to you."
Rita: "You'd better come in then."
Derek: "Thanks. Are you all right, Rita?"
Rita: "Never better. Why?"
Derek: "You look like you've had some kind of accident."
Rita: "Last week, yes. I thought it was healed."
Derek: "That cut's fresh."
Rita: "What cut?"
Derek: "On your forehead."
Rita: (touches it) "Blood."
Derek: "It looks like you hit your head on something."
Rita: "I, er.. fell over when I went to answer the door. I must've hit my head on the coffee table. I'll go and clean it up."
Derek: "Would you like me to come with you?"
Rita: "I'm old enough to do things by myself, Derek."
Derek: "I know you are."
Rita: "Sit down and I'll be back in a minute."
Derek: "Can I talk to you through the door then?"
Rita: (sighs) "If you want."

Rita went into the bathroom and closed the door. She wiped off the blood, covered the cut with a plaster then sat on the toilet lid with another old friend she'd hidden in the cistern.

Rita: "I thought you wanted to talk to me, Derek."
Derek: "I do."
Rita: "Get on with it then."
Derek: "All right. Rita, I can't deny my feelings for you anymore. Rita, I love you."

Rita choked when she heard what he'd just told her.

Rita: "What did you just say?"
Derek: "I love you. Rita, will you marry me?"

Over at the Rovers, Maurice and Adam were sitting in the corner quietly discussing Operation Bradley.

Maurice: "So, what exactly will you do to Rita?"
Adam: "Cast a spell on her so she can act like a ghost."
Maurice: "Going through walls, and stuff like that?"
Adam: "Yes."
Maurice: "Is it safe?"
Adam: "Quite safe."
Maurice: "Will she be hurt?"
Adam: "No. It's up to me to cast the spells. She's in safe hands."
Maurice: "Then what?"
Adam: "She'll have to kill Alan."
Maurice: "Kill him?!"
Adam: "Yes."
Maurice: "Why?"
Adam: "So he'll hopefully go away for ever."
Maurice: "Why does she have to do it?"
Adam: "Because she's the only one who has enough hate in her to do the job properly, throughly and completely."
Maurice: "But you're the witch in the family-"
Adam: "Warlock. Who d'you think I am? Danny La Rue?"
Maurice: "Warlock in the family. You brought him back, so you should do the dirty work."
Adam: "I know I brought him back. But my powers won't stretch to getting rid of him I'm afraid. If I could, I would. Believe me."
Maurice: "It's down to her then."
Adam: "I'm afraid so."

Rita was lying on the floor in shock, the vodka bottle by her side. Derek's hammering on the door brought her round. She turned over and felt her dress.

Rita: "Ooh, 'eck. I've wet meself."
Derek: "Rita! Rita!"
Rita: (gets up) "Oh, it's only the vodka."
Derek: "Rita! Rita! Are you all right?"
Rita: "I'd better clean this up before Maurice gets home."
Derek: "Rita! Can you hear me?"
Rita: "I can hear you, Derek!"
Derek: "Are you all right? Everything went silent."
Rita: "I'm fine. I just had a little accident with some water."
Derek: "Did you hear what I said before?"
Rita: "I heard!"
Derek: "Well?"
Rita: (opens door) "Well what?"
Derek: "Aren't you going to say anything?"
Rita: (closes door) "What's there to say? I love fiction."
Derek: "It's not fiction, Rita. I do love you."
Rita: "You're married."
Derek: "So are you."
Rita: "What's that got to do with anything?"
Derek: "A gold ring didn't stop you when Alan Bradley came along again."
Rita: "Yer what?! Get out!"
Derek: "You don't mean that."
Rita: "I most certainly do. If you've come round here to insult me-"
Derek: "I wouldn't dream of insulting you, Rita."
Rita: "Sounds like it."
Derek: "I love you."
Rita: "Come on, Derek. I'm not that daft."
Derek: "But I do."
Rita: "The only person you love is yourself."
Derek: "I hardly think you're being fair, Rita."
Rita: "Fair? That's rich coming from you."
Derek: "What did I do?"
Rita: "Cast yer mind back to 1955."
Derek: "Oh yes."
Rita: "Go, Derek. I'm expecting an old friend."
Derek: "All right. But don't forget what I said. Bye, Rita." (leaves)
Rita: "How can I?" (closes door) "Now, where's that vodka?"

A week later. We begin in Beirut. Percy was being prepared for the firing squad.

Kidnapper: "Cigarette?"
Percy: "I don't smoke."
Kidnapper: "Blindfold?"
Percy: "Has the post come?"
Kidnapper: "Yes. Blindfold?"
Percy: "What about second post?"
Kidnapper: "This is Beirut. We don't get second post. Blindfold?"
Percy: "You never know."
Man: "Sir! Sir!"
Kidnapper: "What is it?"
Man: "Letter just come."
Percy: "That'll be the ransom."
Kidnapper: "Thank you."
Percy: "I was right, wasn't I? She's paid up."
Kidnapper: "You're wrong."
Percy: "Eh?"
Kidnapper: "It's my electricity bill. Now, blindfold?"
Percy: "No. I'll face it like a man."
Kidnapper: "Your choice." (walks away)
Percy: "Hang on. I think I will have that blindfold after all."
Kidnapper: "I thought you'd see sense."

He put the blindfold on Percy, then went to the firing line. Percy just stood there, thinking of Monty, Rommell and his war days.

Kidnapper: "Ready... Aim... Fire!"

Rita had just had her usual vodka for breakfast. Adam decided to pay a visit to her and Maurice. He knocked on the door, and she staggered once again to the door. Well, she is used to it now, isn't she? Among other things.

Rita: "Hello, Adam."
Adam: "Morning, Rita."
Rita: "Is it? I hadn't noticed to be honest."
Adam: "Hangover?"
Rita: "What makes you say that?"
Adam: "Well, you look like you had a few too many last night."
Rita: "Do I? Oh, well. I had a bit of a shock last night."
Adam: "Not Alan?"
Rita: "No. Derek Wilton."
Adam: "Derek Wilton?"
Rita: "Mavis's husband. The woman downstairs."
Adam: "Anything I can help you with?"
Rita: "No. I can sort it. Is it something important?"
Adam: "It's about Alan."
Rita: "Thought as much."
Adam: "We'll have to discuss our plan to get rid of him."
Rita: "Yes. Would you like a drink?"
Adam: "No, thanks."
Rita: "You don't mind if I have one."
Adam: "Go ahead."
Rita: "So, what is it you want?"
Adam: "We'll have to start soon."
Rita: "I was dreading that."
Adam: "You're not frightened, are you?"
Rita: "Terrified, if you must know."
Adam: "You shouldn't be, Rita."
Rita: "After what that swine did to me, what d'you expect?"
Adam: "Yes, but it's different now."
Rita: "How do you work that out?"
Adam: "Well, er... He thinks you're dead. And he was, you know."
Rita: "That didn't stop him."
Adam: "No. I know. Well, he is psychotic."
Rita: "When'll it be then?"
Adam: "Tonight."
Rita: "Tonight?!"
Adam: "Will you be all right?"
Rita: "I'll have to be, won't I?"

To be continued...

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 13

Four o'clock in the morning, Alan was fast asleep. Suddenly he woke up as his covers were being pulled off.

Alan: "What the..? Rita!"
Rita: "Hello, Alan."
Alan: "What are you doing here?"
Rita: "What do you think?"
Alan: "To see me?"
Rita: "Naturally."
Alan: "I'm glad you're here."
Rita: "I bet you are(!)"
Alan: "No, really, Rita. I have to talk to you."
Rita: "What about?"
Alan: "Us."
Rita: "What, us, Alan?"
Alan: "All right then. You."
Rita: "That's better. Well?"
Alan: "I'm so sorry I killed you, Rita. I didn't meant to. I was still angry with you. It was on the spur of the moment."
Rita: And twisted. The spur of the moment?! Oh, come on, Alan. You schemed and plotted to get me exactly where you wanted. Then when you knew no one would help me, you did it. Don't give me all that crap, Alan. It took some thinking about."
Alan: "All right. But I didn't realise just how much I loved you until after I'd..."
Rita: "Go on. Say it."
Alan: "Killed you."
Rita: "That's better. You didn't love me, Alan. You certainly didn't when you tried to choke the life out of me."
Alan: "I was angry."
Rita: "So you said. You probably never did in the first place."
Alan: "That's not true. I gave up Gloria Todd to be with you."
Rita: "Exactly. You were handed the choice on a plate, Alan. If you hadn't been, you'd have kept things as they were."
Alan: "Perhaps. We'll never know now."
Rita: "I do."
Alan: "How?"
Rita: "I'm dead, remember."
Alan: "How can I forget?"
Rita: "And it's very handy."
Alan: "Handy?"
Rita: "Yes. I know the futures of everyone I know."
Alan: "Do you know mine?"
Rita: "Oh yes. I know exactly what's going to happen to you."
Alan: "Are you going to tell me?"
Rita: "Sorry. Can't."
Alan: "Or won't."
Rita: "Can't. I've sworn an oath. Sorry. I'd love to tell you, tell everyone, but I can't."
Alan: "I understand. So, how've you been?"
Rita: "That's a daft question."
Alan: "Sorry."
Rita: "You really hate me, don't you?"
Alan: "I've told you. Not anymore. I love you, and feel so stupid for holding a grudge against you."
Rita: "So you should. You hate me for marrying Maurice though, don't you?"
Alan: "If you must know, yes, I do. I wanted to marry you, but you wouldn't let go of your precious Len."
Rita: "I did let him go. I wouldn't have been living with you otherwise. I just didn't want to make another commitment."
Alan: "How is dear old Len? I haven't seen him since the meeting."
Rita: "Meeting?"
Alan: "To discuss getting rid of you."
Rita: "Oh. I don't know."
Alan: "Haven't you seen him then?"
Rita: "No. Well, it's a big place. I must be going."
Alan: "Will you be back?"
Rita: "I daresay. If you behave yourself. Trah."

She went through a wall, home to her vodka, leaving Alan thinking.


A few hours later, Adam called to see how everything went at Alan's. Rita really hated people popping round, interrupting her drinking session. She seriously considered going away for a few days on her own so she could drink her vodka in peace.

Adam: "How did it go last night, Rita?"
Rita: "Fine. I think."
Adam: "How were you?"
Rita: "Terrified, like I said I would be."
Adam: "Seeing him again?"
Rita: "Yes. I really thought he was going to set about me again."
Adam: "He wouldn't do that."
Rita: "No. Not if he thinks I'm dead anyroad."
Adam: "What did he say?"
Rita: "Not much. Only how sorry he was for killing me and that he loves me."
Adam: "There you are."
Rita: "It's all right him saying it now I'm supposed to be dead."
Adam: "True. Is there something else?"
Rita: "Yes. I think I may have blown it last night."
Adam: "How?"
Rita: "He started asking about Len."
Adam: "Len?"
Rita: "My late husband. I didn't realise until afterwards it was a trick question."
Adam: "How did you get out of it?"
Rita: "I told him heaven was a big place."
Adam: "Did he believe you?"
Rita: "Don't know. I'll find that out tonight."
Adam: "Tonight? You're not going again."
Rita: "This was your idea you know."
Adam: "I know it was."
Rita: "And the sooner we get it over with the better as far as I'm concerned. So, what do I have to do next?"

Lunchtime in the Rovers. Phyllis looked a bit upset.

Bet: "You look unhappy, Phyllis."
Phyllis: "Yes."
Bet: "Have you heard from Percy?"
Phyllis: "Not directly."
Bet: "What's the black for?"
Phyllis: "I wouldn't pay the ransom."
Bet: "Ransom? Was he kidnapped, or summat?"
Phyllis: "Yes. He was put in front of the firing squad yesterday."
Bet: "Firing squad? Why?"
Phyllis: "Because I wouldn't pay the ransom."
Bet: "So you said. But why?"
Phyllis: "No one forced him to go out there. It's his own fault. Lager please, Bet."

Adam decided to visit his slimy brother to test the ground for the next part of their plan.

Adam: "Are you all right?"
Alan: "Fine. Why?"
Adam: "You look like you've seen a ghost."
Alan: "I have."
Adam: "Who?"
Alan: "Rita Fairclough."
Adam: "You're kidding."
Alan: "No. She visited me last night."
Adam: "I wonder why."
Alan: "You didn't put her up to it, did you?"
Adam: "No. I only wanted her to leave you."
Alan: "I can believe that."
Adam: "What happened?"
Alan: "She just appeared."
Adam: "Will she be coming back? Or was it only last night? You know. A flying visit."
Alan: "No. She said she'd be back. I hope she does."

Later that night when baddie Bradley was fast asleep, Rita visited him again. Mind you, she'd had a lot of encouragement from her oldest, most loyal friend - vodka. Well, what else?

Rita: "Alan! Wake up, you bloody bastard!"
Alan: "Mmm. Rita!"
Rita: "I said I'd be back."
Alan: "You did. I'm so happy you came."
Rita: "I bet you are(!)"
Alan: "No. Really."
Rita: "What would you do if I said I wasn't really dead?"
Alan: "Of course you are. I killed you."
Rita: "I know you did."
Alan: "Have you seen Len yet?"
Rita: "Yes. I bumped into him this morning. Mind you, he was with his old girlfriend at the time."
Alan: "Who's his old girlfriend?"
Rita: "Your leader. Elsie Tanner."
Alan: "Oh."
Rita: "Do you think you could do me a favour?"
Alan: "Anything, love. What is it?"
Rita: "Write a letter."
Alan: "Of course."
Rita: "I take it you have some paper and a pen."
Alan: "Yes. They're on the table. I'll go over now."
Rita: "I thought you would."
Alan: "What do you want me to write, darling?"
Rita: "Right, now get this down. I, Alan Bradley."
Alan: "Right. Is this a joke?"
Rita: "Yes. On your brother and my hubby. Got that?"
Alan: "Yes."
Rita: "Came back from the dead."
Alan: "Yes?"
Rita: "And murdered Rita Jones, neé Fairclough. Got that?"
Alan: "Hang on. Yes."
Rita: "By strangulation and suffocation."
Alan: "By strangulation and suffocation. Any more?"
Rita: "Yes. I was obsessed with revenge."
Alan: "Hang on. Yes."
Rita: "I had to kill her to get her out of the way for good."
Alan: "...Yes?"
Rita: "I sincerely hope."
Alan: "I sincerely hope."
Rita: "My beloved daughter Jenny."
Alan: "...Yes?"
Rita: (goes behind him) "Doesn't think too badly of Bradley."
Alan: "Yes?"
Rita: "Now sign it and read it back to me."

As he read it out, Rita pulled a gun out of her pocket. She was petrified and desperately needed comfort from her beloved vodka but knew she had to go through with it. She pointed the gun against his head and pulled the trigger...

Next morning, while being comforted yet again, there was a loud banging. No, not Maurice and Rita getting comfortable on the bed by testing the springs, but Adam desperate (he'd have to be) to see Rita.

Rita: "Morning, Adam."
Adam: "You did it then."
Rita: "Is he dead?"
Adam: "Definitely. Well done, Rita."
Rita: "Thanks. I was surprised he'd fall for it."
Adam: "Obviously he did. There's no danger of me repeating my mistake and bringing him back."
Rita: "I should hope not."
Adam: "Shall we go for a celebration drink?"
Rita: "Let's go!"

So, Alan was dead, they hoped, despite the fact Rita had blown his brains out. She continued drinking and testing beds with ex-boyfriends. What else happens? I'll leave that to your imagination.


The End

Patsy