Back On The Street (The Street Revisted Sequel)

[RitaLittlewood]

This is the final instalment of my original Corrie ravings and I have cleaned it up as much as possible! It was originally written from the 26th December 1990-February 1991 when I got a hand injury and was unable to write for months, by which time I'd forgotten what the hell I was doing. LOL! To make things worse, it was mid-scene with Emily and Mavis. Anyway, on the 6th July 2002 I decided to see if I could wrap it up since Reet needed closure.

Part 1

Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the third part in our exciting Street saga. Bet you thought you'd heard the last of this, didn't you? Fat chance! For those of you who follow this obviously never-ending tale, let me tell you what's been happening since we last heard from the residents. Nothing. Adam Bradley, Alan's warlock twin brother, had gone back to Birmingham. Alan was still dead. Derek was still infatuated. Mavis didn't let Victor rub her up the wrong way. And good old Rita was still deliriously happy with Maurice - and her vodka. And guess what? Even with the crates she now puts away, she's still not bankrupt!

We begin in December 1990, three weeks before Christmas and a few days before Emily Bishop and Mark Casey's wedding.

Mark: "All ready for Saturday, darling? I know I am. I'm looking forward to it."
Emily: "I'm not quite sure."
Mark: "What do you mean? Do you want to marry me, or not?"
Emily: "I don't know."
Mark: "Do you love me at all, Emily?"
Emily: "Of course I love you. But I'm not sure I can marry you."
Mark: "It's just nerves, darling. Once Saturday's over, you'll be fine."
Emily: "Perhaps. Wouldn't you be happier with someone nearer your own age?"
Mark: "Like who?"
Emily: "I know Jenny Bradley is quite smitten with you."
Mark: "I don't want Jenny Bradley."
Emily: "I don't want you to marry me, then a few weeks or months later, regretting being stuck with an old woman."
Mark: "I won't be stuck with an old woman, as you put it."
Emily: "You're a nice boy, Mark, and I don't want to hurt you."
Mark: "I'm twenty-one years old."
Emily: "And I'm sixty-one. Forty years older. Doesn't that worry you?"
Mark: "Why should it? Would it matter to you if I was forty years older?"
Emily: "Mr Swindley was much older than I when we were going to get married."
Mark: "Going to? Who's Mr Swindley?"
Emily: "My boss. A long time ago. I jilted him."
Mark: "Oh. Well, it's past. I'll hear no more about it, all right?"
Emily: "All right."

Over at Balls Galore, Rita, the resident alcoholic loony was very thirsty - partly because her randy hubby can't keep his hands off her and partly because she wanted a drink or million of vodka. She felt uncomfortable working with Mavis day after day. All she thought about was Derek telling her he loved and wanted to marry her for 5 months. She kept telling him she loved Maurice and it was only 3 months before their first anniversary. It was mid-afternoon and everything was quiet.

Rita: "Fancy a brew, Mavis?"
Mavis: "That will be nice."
Rita: "Right. Perfect timing, being so quiet."
Mavis: "Yes. Rita?"
Rita: "Yes, Mavis?"
Mavis: "Are you all right?"
Rita: "Fine. Why?"
Mavis: "Perhaps it's me, but for the past few months since you 'died', you don't talk to me as much as you used to."
Rita: "Haven't I? I hadn't noticed."
Mavis: "Is something the matter?"
Rita: "No."
Mavis: "Everything's all right with Maurice, isn't it?"
Rita: "What do you mean?"
Mavis: "Your marriage is still good."
Rita: "Perfect. I've never been happier in my life. I've just got something on my mind, that's all."
Mavis: "Is it Derek?"
Rita: "What makes you say that?"
Mavis: "Did he tell you what he told me?"
Rita: "And what were that?"
Mavis: "That he still loves you."
Rita: "He told you?"
Mavis: "Yes. After me and Bet returned from Alan's flat."
Rita: "Then he must be serious."
Mavis: "Don't take him away from me, Rita."
Rita: "Why should I? I don't want any part of him."
Mavis: "Do you love him, Rita? Be honest."
Rita: "All right, Mavis. Honest. No, I don't love him. I hate him and wish he wasn't the father of my children."
Mavis: "Thank you, Rita."
Rita: "For what? He's your, Mavis. If he goes with anyone, it won't be me. I'll put the kettle on." (leaves)
Mavis: "Fine."
Rita: "Bastard!"

She had a drink, made the tea (with vodka in hers) and returned to Mavis.

Derek had just pulled up after working hard all week in Darlington. He wished Mavis would agree to move there, but was secretly pleased she hadn't otherwise he'd never see Rita again. He spotted Maurice across the road on his way home after a hard day's work supervising the workers.

Derek: "Maurice? Maurice?"
Maurice: (mumbles) "Bloody hell. Yes, Derek?"
Derek: "I was wondering if I could possibly have a word with you."
Maurice: "Yes?"
Derek: "Oh, I meant a private word."
Maurice: "Will it take long? Only Rita's expecting me and I'm late already."
Derek: "I shouldn't think so. Shall we go into my house?"

Meanwhile Rita was getting worried about Maurice. She couldn't help thinking about Len and hoped he wasn't going the same way. She was busy chatting with Mavis when the door opened and an old face walked in.

Rita: "Hello. It's Bill Gregory, in't it?"
Bill: "That's right. I'm surprised you remember me."
Rita: "I never forget a face. What are you doing round here? Weren't you living in Portugal?"
Bill: "Yes."
Rita: "It must be about seven years since you were here."
Bill: "Yes. When Elsie finally agreed to go back with me."
Rita: "We were sorry to hear about Elsie."
Mavis: "That's right. She was such a lovely, brave woman."
Rita: "She came round to see me after my husband died."
Bill: "Did she? That was nice of her."
Rita: "Yes. Mind you, she had an ulterior motive, despite what she said."
Bill: "What makes you say that?"
Rita: "She was in love with him. Not that she'd admit it."
Bill: "And how do you work that out?"
Rita: "She and Len had an on-off relationship for years. She never wanted him to marry me. I don't think she realised how she felt until he died."
Bill: "I see."
Rita: "Oh, Bill. I'm sorry."
Bill: "That's all right. I've just moved into her old house."
Mavis: "Number 11?"
Bill: "Yes."
Rita: "Why? I thought you had a bar in the Algarve."
Bill: "I did. After she died, I tried everything to carry on but couldn't. My heart just wasn't in it anymore. After four years, I finally decided to come back to England and buy her house."
Mavis: "So that's why the McDonalds moved."
Bill: "I made them an offer they couldn't refuse. She lived there for so long, I just felt I had to be near her. I know she's there in spirit."
Mavis: "You can say that again!"
Rita: "Mavis!"
Bill: "What do you mean?"
Rita: "It's a long story."
Bill: "I'd like to hear it."
Rita: "Big mouth."
Mavis: "Sorry, Rita."
Rita: "All right, Bill. I'll tell you. Earlier this year a lot of strange things happened."
Bill: "Strange things? Like what?"
Rita: "Ghosts."
Bill: (laughs) "Ghosts?"
Rita: "Yes, ghosts. And Elsie Tanner was one of them."
Bill: (stops laughing) "Elsie?"
Rita: "That's right. She, shall we say, occupied number 11 and held meetings there. She was their leader. They'd all plotted to get me. Their plan was to drive me insane, but fortunately it didn't work. She even got Len to help!"
Bill: "I see. Obviously it's all over."
Rita: "Yes, thank God."
Bill: "Well, I'll be going. Oh, do you think I could have the Mirror delivered, plus the local paper?"
Rita: "Certainly. Starting from tomorrow?"
Bill: "That's be fine. Goodbye."
Rita: "Bye."
Mavis: "Bye."
Rita: "I wonder why he bought Elsie's house."
Mavis: "It does seem a bit odd."
Rita: "And I wonder where that husband of mine is."
Mavis: "He's probably been delayed."
Rita: "What would've delayed him this long?"
Mavis: "Traffic?"
Rita: "For his sake, I hope you're right."
Mavis: "Why else would he be so long?"
Rita: "Do you really want me to answer that? Oh, I'm going upstairs."
Mavis: "All right."
Rita: "And if he does show up before we close, not a word."
Mavis: "Not a word.

To be continued...

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 2

Meanwhile over at dopey Derek's, Maurice and Derek were having a cosy little chat before Derek dropped the bombshell.

Maurice: "I have to get home, Derek, so if you'll just get to the point."
Derek: "I'm coming to it."
Maurice: "Well, hurry up. I'm late already. Rita's probably having a fit. I'd better wear my hard hat in case of any low-flying saucepans."
Derek: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about."
Maurice: "Me getting battered?"
Derek: "No. Rita."
Maurice: "Rita? My Rita?"
Derek: "She's the only one I know."
Maurice: "Obviously. I hope this is important."
Derek: "Oh, very."
Maurice: "Well?"
Derek: "I'm in love with Rita."
Maurice: "Don't be ridiculous."
Derek: "I'm not being ridiculous."
Maurice: "If it's true, which I doubt, what are you going to tell Mavis?"
Derek: "I've already told her."
Maurice: "Sure you have."
Derek: "Ask her if you like."
Maurice: "Don't worry. I will."
Derek: "I hope you do. Mavis and I have no secrets."
Maurice: "Is that all?"
Derek: "Not quite. I'm sorry to have to tell you this. I know Rita won't."
Maurice: "What this time?"
Derek: "She loves me too."
Maurice: "Oh come off it."
Derek: "It's true, but she's too frightened of you to admit it."
Maurice: "Rubbish."
Derek: "And there's one last thing you ought to know."
Maurice: "I can't wait to hear this."
Derek: "We've been having an affair for quite a while now and have finally decided to get married."
Maurice: "Keep dreaming, Derek. Goodbye."
Derek: "Where are you going?"
Maurice: "Home."
Derek: "Home?"
Maurice: "Yes. You know. The flat above the newsagents. It's where my wife lives."
Derek: "Soon to be my wife."
Maurice: "Fat chance." (leaves)
Derek: "You just wait, Maurice Jones. You'll see I'm right. You'll see."

Meanwhile over at the Duckworths, things were very serious. Jack and Vera were out, leaving Curly and Kimberley alone and sat at the table. She was happy but he was pissed off at not being able to have his wicked way with her.

Kimberley: "What's up, Curly?"
Curly: "Everything."
Kimberley: "Like what?"
Curly: "I've thought hard about this, Kimberley and you might not like what I've decided."
Kimberley: "And what's what?"
Curly: "I don't think we should see each other anymore."

Over now to alcoholic's haven. Rita sat in a chair - probably because she couldn't stand after the 28 bottles of vodka, and partly because she was getting impatient for her beloved hubby's return. Finally, as she was just swigging from her 29th bottle, she heard the door. Quickly she hid the empty bottles then staggered to meet her hubby.

Maurice: "Sorry I'm late, Rita, love."
Rita: "Don't Rita, love me. Where the bloody hell have you been?"
Maurice: "With Derek."
Rita: "Derek."
Maurice: "Yes. We had a nice little chat."
Rita: "You liar!"
Maurice: "I'm not."
Rita: "You were with someone else."
Maurice: "Yes. Derek Wilton."
Rita: "Do you honestly expect me to fall for that? You were with another woman."
Maurice: "I was not. What makes you think that?"
Rita: "All men are the same."
Maurice: "Well, I'm not."
Rita: "It was the same with Len. Only I didn't know about it until after he'd died. And that bastard Bradley."
Maurice: "I love you, Rita, and only you."
Rita: "Sure(!)"
Maurice: "I was talking with Derek about you."
Rita: "A likely... Me? What about me?"
Maurice: "Oh, he told me you two were in love with each other. Having a secret affair that's gone on for months and are going to get married."
Rita: "And you believed him, I suppose."
Maurice: "If I did, do you think I'd be here?"
Rita: "I suppose not."
Maurice: "And I'll be yelling at you, wouldn't I?"
Rita: "Yes."
Maurice: "But he insisted."
Rita: "He would."
Maurice: "You know what he told me?"
Rita: "What?"
Maurice: "That he'd told Mavis."
Rita: "What?!"
Maurice: "He inisisted I asked her, when he knows I wouldn't."
Rita: "Maurice."
Maurice: "Yes, love?"
Rita: "He has told Mavis."
Maurice: "What?!"
Rita: "He's told her. And he's told me."
Maurice: "When?"
Rita: "When what?"
Maurice: "When did he tell you?"
Rita: "During that mess we had with Adam Bradley."
Maurice: "Why didn't you tell me?"
Rita: "Because as far as I'm concerned, he's a loony."
Maurice: "Everybody knows that."
Rita: "True."
Maurice: "He's obviously an obsessed loony."
Rita: "What do you mean?"
Maurice: "He's obviously obsessed with you."
Rita: "Bloody hell!"

Back at Vera's, Kimberley was still in shock after Curly said he was going to dump her.

Kimberley: "Is this all because I won't sleep with you?"
Curly: "No."
Kimberley: "Is there someone else?"
Curly: "Not that I know of."
Kimberley: "Then why, Curly?"
Curly: "It would be better, that's all."
Kimberley: "Better for whom?"
Curly: "Us."
Kimberley: "Says who?"
Curly: "Me. If we leave it a few months then see how things are, we might have a future."
Kimberley: "You don't want me. That's it, isn't it?"
Curly: "No. We just need to be apart for a while. Now I think you ought to go."
Kimberley: "Pig!"

She left, slamming the doors behind her.

Rita and Maurice had clamed down after their little barny about drippy Derek, and were sitting quietly, drinking.

Maurice: "Are you all right now, Rita, darling?"
Rita: "About what?"
Maurice: "All this flipping Derek Wilton business."
Rita: "Course I am. Why do you ask?"
Maurice: "I noticed that isn't your first."
Rita: "Well, considering I was getting anxious about where the hell you were and then that prat acting like a bigger pillock that usual, do you blame me?"
Maurice: "No. Just as long as you don't make a habit of it."
Rita: "Don't start that again!"
Maurice: "What?"
Rita: "Calling me an alcoholic."
Maurice: "I'm not, darling."
Rita: "No?"
Maurice: "No. I'll prove it. Come here..."

Ken and dreary Deirdre were getting back into the rut they were in before. Ken was out of work since Jack's back got better and couldn't be bothered looking for anything. Deirdre was getting really fed up with him.

Ken: "Don't start that again, Deirdre."
Deirdre: "I did agree to take you back when I could've had others."
Ken: "Like Ray Langton, I suppose."
Deirdre: "Yes, like Ray. At least he'll be working and not sitting around on his fat backside when he's got a wife and two children to support.
Ken: "What do you mean? Two children? There's only Tracy."
Deirdre: "For the moment, yes."
Ken: "You mean you're pregnant?"
Deirdre: "Well, that's usually how a baby develops."
Ken: "And I'm the father?"
Deirdre: "No, Alec Gilroy is(!) Of course you are, stupid."
Ken: "Oh, Deirdre, that's great!"
Deirdre: "I'm glad you think so."
Ken: "We'll have to do something about a nursery, clothes-"
Deirdre: "And what will we do for money?"
Ken: "I'll get a job."
Deirdre: "There's a novelty."
Ken: "I'll do my best."
Deirdre: "Sure."
Ken: "I'll start tomorrow."

New Year's Eve and practically everything was back to normal. Rita kept drinking but pretended she wasn't (nothing new there then). Derek was still trying to get into her knickers, and didn't hide the fact from Mavis. Ken got a job teaching. Victor was getting into Mavis's knickers and she didn't mind. Bill Gregory was still pining for his beloved Elsie. Reg Holdsworth was now trying to get into Rita's knickers, despite the fact she had a hubby, which made it more of a challenge.

Meanwhile, over at the Duckworths, midnight is fast approaching. Not that Jack's noticed because he's fast asleep.. Vera was annoyed. She was sat by Curly, chatting.

Vera: "All he ever does is sleep."
Curly: "So I've noticed."
Vera: "You'd think he'd stay awake fer New Year."
Curly: "He's obviously tired."
Vera: "As usual."

Bing bong, bing bong. Bing bong, bing bong. Bong!!!!!!!!

Curly: "Come on, Vera. Don't get upset about Jack."
Vera: "You're right, Curly. After all, it's another year."
Curly: "Yeah. A brand new year."
Vera: "But still the same old husband. Come on, Curly. Give us a kiss."
Curly: "Are you sure, Vera?"
Vera: "Positive, kid."
Curly: "Won't Jack mind?"
Vera: "Who cares what he minds."

They snogged, and they snogged, and they snogged.

The following morning everyone in the street was either suffering from hangovers or misery, because they couldn't get what they wanted, or had what they didn't want. We begin at the Duckworths. Jack was busy skiving in the Rovers cellar, while both Vera and Curly had the day off.

Vera: "Morning, Curly, lad."
Curly: "Er... Morning, Vera."
Vera: "Are you all right? You look a bit peaky."
Curly: "I'm fine."
Vera: "Summat up, is there?"
Curly: "Well, er.. yes. It's about last night."
Vera: "Eee, it were great. I've not had that much fun in ages."
Curly; "Er... Don't you feel a bit guilty?"
Vera: "No. Why? Do you?"
Curly; "Course not. Come here...."

Meanwhile over at the vodka factory - sorry, Rita's, things were going okey-dokey. Derek had kept his distance which pleased Maurice, although Rita was suspicious. She'd known him for more years than she cared to remember and knew he was up to something. Maurice had taken the day off, just to be with his little red-headed alki.

Rita: "Oh, good afternoon."
Maurice: "What?"
Rita: "Joke, darling."
Maurice: "Oh."
Rita: "Where's your sense of humour?"
Maurice: "Somewhere in the bedroom with my pyjamas."
Rita: "Your pyjamas?"
Maurice: "That's right."
Rita: "What's under your dressing gown?"
Maurice: "Me."
Rita: "Apart from you."
Maurice: "Me."
Rita: "You mean, you've got nowt on under that?"
Maurice: "Nothing except my skin. Shall I prove it?"
Rita: "No! I believe you. I believe you."
Maurice: "Am I still your knight in shining hard hat?"
Rita: "Forever, darling."

The phone started ringing.

Maurice: "Shall I get it?"
Rita: "Let it ring."
Maurice: "It might be important, darling."
Rita: "Ohhhh! You certainly know how to kill romance."
Maurice: "Sorry, darling."
Rita: "Know how to kill anything else?"
Maurice: "No. But I could try to kill Derek."
Rita: "Not a bad idea. How are you going to do it? Quickly I hope, and with lots of pain. And of course, I get to help."
Maurice: "Before you get carried away-"
Rita: "Which is what he'll be when I'm finished with him."
Maurice: "The phone."
Rita: "Oh yes. Sorry." (answers it) "Hello? Yes, this is Rita Jones. What?! Oh, my God! I'll be there as soon as I can.
Goodbye." (hangs up)
Maurice: "What is it, darling?"
Rita: "It's my uncle Sam."
Maurice: "What about him?"
Rita: "He's dying. I'm sorry, darling. I have to go."
Maurice: "I understand. I'll drive you to the station."

To be continued...

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 3

Three days later, Bill Gregory was going more bonkers than ever. It was exactly seven years since he finally persuaded Elsie to shack up with him in Portugal and he was holding a vigil. He was interrupted by a knock at the door. First, he decided to ignore it, but it was obvious the person wouldn't go away. So he answered it, only to see Elsie's third husband, Alan Howard on the doorstep.

Alan: "Oh. Hello, Bill."
Bill: "Alan."
Alan: "I didn't expect to see you here."
Bill: "I live here. Where else would I be?"
Alan: "I thought you were running a bar in Portugal."
Bill: "We were."
Alan: "We?"
Bill: "Me and Elsie."
Alan: "You two got together at last then."
Bill: Yeah. It took a long time, but it was worth it."
Alan: "I bet! Is she in?"
Bill: "What?"
Alan: "I'd like to talk to her about something important."
Bill: "You'd better come in."

Meanwhile over at the Duckworths, things were going wonderfully well with the lovebirds. In fact, if Jack knew he didn't have to satify Vera's demands and desires anymore, he'd probably celebrate and sell tickets, because he'd do anything to raise some money. We begin in the bedroom. Jack was at the Rovers and Curly and Vera decided to have a bit of relaxation after a hard day at work. Well, makes a change from watching Coronation Street, doesn't it?

Curly: "It's obvious, Vera, you like having a toyboy."
Vera: "You're not wrong there, Curly, lad. Mind you, I wouldn't want any other toyboy but you."
Curly: "You always did say the nicest things to me, Vera, darling."
Vera: "You should be honoured. I don't say nice things to just anyone, you know."
Curly: "I had noticed, yes."
Vera: "Do you love me, Curly?"
Curly: "Why do you ask?"
Vera: "Because I love you, darling."
Curly: "I'm glad. Yes, I love you. Come here."
Vera: "Ooh, Curly..."

Back at number 11, Bill and Alan were sitting having a drink. Bill was suspicious at the fact his old mate suddenly turned up thirteen years after his divorce from Elsie.

Alan: "When will Elsie be back?"
Bill: "Not yet."
Alan: "I hope she'll be back soon. I can't stay too long."
Bill: "Why don't you just go then."
Alan: "Not until I've talked to Elsie."
Bill: "What do you want to talk to her about?"
Alan: "I think that's between me and her, don't you?"
Bill: "Not really. You see, she's not coming back."
Alan: "What are you talking about? Of course she is."
Bill: "This is my house, and she'll never come back."
Alan: "It's Elsie's house, not yours."
Bill: "It was her house, until she sold up and moved to Portugal with me. It's had a few people in it since. I bought it from the previous owners."
Alan: "Rubbish. What game are you playing?"
Bill: "I'm not playing any game, Alan. She's dead. Elsie's dead."
Alan: "What?"
Bill: "Now will you tell me what you're here for?"

Over at Rita's, Maurice was badly missing his little alcoholic and was chatting to her on the phone.

Maurice: "How's your uncle?"
Rita: "Not too good. The doctors don't hold out much hope."
Maurice: "I miss you, darling."
Rita: "I miss you too."
Maurice: "I wish you were here."
Rita: "I know. I'd rather be there with you, darling, but uncle Sam needs me."
Maurice: "I know, sweetheart."
Rita: "Has that pillock been giving you any trouble since I've been away?"
Maurice: "Not a murmur. Perhaps he's finally admitted defeated and given up."
Rita: "Don't be too sure about that."
Maurice: "Why not?"
Rita: "I've known him a lot longer than you."
Maurice: "Obviously."
Rita: "He's about as trustworthy as a mole doing some gardening."
Maurice: "I like the way you put that. All right, darling. I won't trust him."
Rita: "Good."
Maurice: "Maybe he should go back under the stone he crawled out from."
Rita: "Not a bad idea."
Maurice: "Oh, I nearly forgot."
Rita: "Considering you haven't got a brain, darling, that shouldn't be difficult."
Maurice: "Very funny. There's a letter for you."
Rita: "Who's it from?"
Maurice: "It looks like Maggie's writing."
Rita: "Well?"
Maurice: "What?"
Rita: "What does it say?"
Maurice: "How would I know?"
Rita: "Open it then."
Maurice: "Are you sure?"
Rita: "Open it, and read it to me."
Maurice: "All of it?"
Rita: "Just the parts that count."
Maurice: "Okay." (opens it) "Oh."
Rita: "What?"
Maurice: "She's getting married. Isn't that wonderful?"
Rita: "Yes. And no."
Maurice: "No? What do you mean? Have you been watching Lucille Ball again?"
Rita: "What makes you say that?"
Maurice: "You're not making any sense."
Rita: "Derek'll be there."
Maurice: "I see what you mean."
Rita: "Lucille Ball indeed."
Maurice: "Sorry."
Rita: "That's all right."

The doorbell rang.

Maurice: "I have to go, darling. There's someone at the door."
Rita: "Okay. Speak to you soon."
Maurice: "I love you."
Rita: "I love you too. Bye, sweetheart."
Maurice: "See yer."

He hung up and went to the door.

Maurice: "Derek!"
Derek: "Hello again, Maurice."
Maurice: "I thought you'd left the country."
Derek: "Pardon?"
Maurice: "Well, I haven't seen you for a while.
Derek: "I see. Ha, ha. No, I'm still in Weatherfield."
Maurice: "So I've noticed. Rita's not here."
Derek: "I know. She's in Blackpool."
Maurice: "That's right. How did you know? I never told anyone and I certainly know Rita didn't."
Derek: "She told me."
Maurice: "Who did."
Derek: "Rita of course."
Maurice: "None of this is making any sense. You're obviously another Lucille Ball watcher."
Derek: "Lucille Ball? Oh, yes. I never miss her. Don't you think she and Rita could be twins? They look so much alike."
Maurice: "Who?"
Derek: "Apart from the hair colour of course. Rita's is much darker and more beautiful."
Maurice: (frustrated) Who the hell are you talking about, Derek?"
Derek: "Rita."
Maurice: "I know Rita. Who else?"
Derek: "Oh. Lucille Ball. Ha, ha."
Maurice: "What do you want, Derek?"
Derek: "I just want to give you another warning."
Maurice: "Warning?"
Derek: "Before it's too late."
Maurice: "Too late? What do you mean by that?"
Derek: "Don't be too hard on Rita, Maurice. She can't help how she feels."
Maurice: "I KNOW how she feels."
Derek: "I knew you'd understand."
Maurice: "Oh, I understand perfectly, Derek. Get out!"
Derek: "What?"
Maurice: "I love Rita, and I KNOW she loves me and ONLY me. Get out and don't ever come round here with your fantasies again."
Derek: "All right, I'll go. But it's by no means a fantasy. You'll see. Just give it time. You'll see." (leaves)
Maurice: (slams the door) "That bloody bastard!"

Back at number 11, there was another triangle going on with one difference - only two were in it.

Alan: "And that's the whole story. I really had no idea Elsie had died."
Bill: "I see. Where's Elaine now?"
Alan: "Haven't a clue. I realised while we were still together that I should never have left Elsie."
Bill: "You still love her."
Alan: "Very much. But she picked me over you once and I'm pleased she found happiness in her final years."
Bill: "Thank you."
Alan: (stands) Well, I'd better be going."
Bill: "Where are you staying?"
Alan: "At some tacky digs in Manchester."
Bill: "Tacky?"
Alan: "It reminds me of Rising Damp."
Bill: "That bad, eh?"
Alan: "Worse."
Bill: "Why don't you stay here?"
Alan: "I couldn't do that."
Bill: "Why not?"
Alan: "It's Elsie's house. I'd feel like an intruder."
Bill: "It's MY house, and I want you to stay."
Alan: "Well..."
Bill: "And besides, I'm sure Elsie wouldn't mind."
Alan: "How do you know? I hurt her very much."
Bill: "Yes, I know."
Elsie: "Please stay, Alan."
Alan: "What was that?"
Bill: "Elsie."
Alan: (nervous) "Elsie?"
Bill: "Who else?"
Alan: "You mean she's here, in this house?"
Bill: "Of course. This is where she's been since she died."
Alan: "What?"
Bill: "It's a long story. But this is the only place to be if you want to make peace with her."
Alan: "You're right."
Bill: "Then you'll stay?"
Alan: "Yes."
Bill: "I'm so glad."
Elsie: "So am I..."

Meanwhile Emily Bishop - sorry, Casey, had returned to her old house alone. Mavis noticed how miserable she looked, so decided to pop over and have a nose, even though Ena Sharples and Hilda Ogden she definitely ain't!

Emily: "Oh, hello, Mavis."
Mavis: "Are you all right, Emily? You look a bit peaky."
Emily: "It's not surprising under the circumstances. You'd better come in."

Drippy Derek was determined to get Rita no matter what. He'd decided Maurice was a nobody and Rita couldn't possibly love someone that wet (he's a FINE one to talk!), and he was obviously the only love of her life. After all, she did have his children. He pulled into the motorway service station to make a quick phone call before putting his plan to work.

Derek: "Hello? Victor?"
Victor: "Yes, Derek?"
Derek: "I'm afraid I shan't be able to come in tomorrow."
Victor: "Why on earth not?"
Derek: "It's my sister. She's been taken to hospital."
Victor: "Oh, I am sorry. Is it something serious?"
Derek: "Yes. It's her heart."
Victor: "Well, don't worry about coming to work, Derek. Take all the time off you need."
Derek: "Thank you, Victor."
Victor: "I suppose Mavis is quite upset."
Derek: "Oh, she doesn't know."
Victor: "Oh?"
Derek: "I got a call just before I left, so haven't had a chance to tell her."
Victor: "So, she's not with you then."
Derek: "No."
Victor: "Well, don't worry. Yvonne and I will look after her."
Derek: "Thank you, Victor."
Victor: "Thank you for ringing. Goodbye, Derek."
Derek: "Goodbye, Victor."

Derek hung up, returned to his car and rejoined the motorway heading for Blackpool. Meanwhile Victor was on his way to Weatherfield to make sure Mavis wasn't too lonely with Derek gone...

Back at Emily's things were far from ecstatic as Queen prim and proper poured her heart out to Queen drippy.

Mavis: "I can't believe it, Emily. I just can't."
Emily: "Believe it, Mavis."
Mavis: "There must be some mistake."
Emily: "I wish it was."
Mavis: "You and Mark seemed so happy."
Emily: "We were."
Mavis: "Then how could it have happened?"
Emily: "How would I know?"
Mavis: "Oh, I am sorry."
Emily: "Thank you."
Mavis: "Mind you, he was a bit young for you."
Emily. I know. I've always had doubts, but I've got to face it. Mark's left me for another woman who's ten years older than me."

To be continued...

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 4

The following day was quite eventful in the streets and Weatherfield and beyond. We begin as Mike Baldwin rushed to the hospital, as his soon-to-be ex-wife had gone into labour. Meanwhile Ivy Brennan and Vera were on their lunch break. They decided to have a spending spree while discussing their respective love lives.

Ivy: "I can't believe it, Vera. You of all people."
Vera: "You won't tell Jack, will you?"
Ivy: "It's not my place to, but he's got to know sometime."
Vera: "There's no point, Ivy. Believe me. I don't mean anything to him anymore. All it is these days are the horse, dogs, pools or those bloody pigeons."
Ivy: "But he loves you, Vera."
Vera: "Does he? Maybe he does. But if I told him about me and Curly, he'd probably just say, 'whatever you want, Vee' and go back to whatever he's doing. The last time we had any sort of relationship, he did his bloody back in! No chance of that with Curly."
Ivy: "But it's a sin, Vera."
Vera: "Maybe. But then I've never really been very religious, have I?"
Ivy: "Well, no. That's not the point."
Vera: "This is the nineties, Ivy, not the dark ages. Remember Elsie Tanner."
Ivy: "Who can forget her!"
Vera: "Exactly. She had, now how many was it? I heard it were 22! Never did her any harm, did it?"
Ivy: "She was punished."
Vera: "What do you mean?"
Ivy: "She died of cancer."
Vera: "Yeah, but she smoked and drank like me. And besides, she WAS older."
Ivy: "You have a point."
Vera: "I rest my case. Come on. Are we going to have any dinner, or what?"
Ivy: "Yeah."
Vera: "Let's go to that café across the road."

They started to cross just as a car sped around the corner...

Derek woke up in his hotel room. His thoughts about Rita were turning him on like a wild animal, making him even more determined to get into her knickers and relieve his pent-up frustration. Seeing as he didn't know where Rita's uncle lived, he looked up all the Littlewoods in the phone book and dialled all the S's. He'd got through a load and the bill was increasing after each failure. He was beginning to think he didn't have a phone. He nearly gave up when a familiar voice answered the other end.

Derek: "Is Sam Littlewood there please."
Rita: "No, I'm sorry, he's not. I'm his niece. Can I help at all?"
Derek: "His niece?"
Rita: "Yes."
Derek: "That would be, Rita Fairclough?"
Rita: "Yes. Well, Jones now."
Derek: "I see. Well, when will he be back?"
Rita: "I don't know. He's in hospital, you see. Could be there for weeks."
Derek: "Nothing serious I hope."
Rita: "Well, it could be. Are you a friend of his?"
Derek: "Not exactly, no. Oh, excuse me, I have to go. Nice talking to you."
Rita: "I'll tell him you called, shall I?"
Derek: "Er... Don't bother. We only met once. Bye." (hangs up)
Rita: "Strange man."
Derek: "I've got her right where I want her - alone with no one to stop us. She'll be mine once I've seduced her. Then she can't deny her feelings any more once she's had REAL man touching her luscious body. I'll go tomorrow so she won't realise it was me who phoned.

Back in Weatherfield, Ivy was in hospital with a broken arm and both legs in plaster too. Don rushed to her side as soon as he heard.

Don: "You were very lucky by all accounts, Ivy, love."
Ivy: "So they keep telling me."
Don: "What exactly happened?"
Ivy: "Wish I knew. One minute, I was crossing the road talking to Vera and the next this maniac sped round the corner."
Don: "Did you see who it was?"
Ivy: "No."
Don: "What about the car?"
Ivy: "How could I see anything when I was unconscious?"
Don: "Sorry."
Ivy: "Maybe Vera saw something. Why don't you ask her?"
Don: "I'll do that. Oh, by the way. Alf Roberts came out of his coma at New Year."
Ivy: "That's good."
Don: "I'll go and see Vera then, love."
Ivy: "Okay."
Don: "I'll be back later. Bye."
Ivy: "See you."

The following afternoon Derek finally got up the courage to get off his fat wet backside and carry out his plan. As he knocked on the door, he prayed she was in as he thought about her and what he considered to be her 'bedable' body. The door opened and he began to get over-excited when he saw her in the doorway. He knew he had to do something to her soon before he made a terrible mess.

Derek: "Rita! Oh, Rita, darling!
Rita: "What the hell are you doing here?"
Derek: "To see you."
Rita: "Well you've seen me. Now clear off!"
Derek: "Can't I come in and talk?"
Rita: "Talk about what?"
Derek: "Us."
Rita: "Derek, there is no us. When are you going to get that through that brain-dead head of yours?"
Derek: "Let's discuss it at any rate. I've come a long way."
Rita: "Oh, all right."
Derek: "Thanks."
Rita: (closes door) "Now, what is it you want so badly?"
Derek: (pushes her against the door) "You!" (kisses her)
Rita: "What?!"
Derek: "Just look at what you've done to me."
Rita: "And what the hell's that supposed to mean?"
Derek: "Look."
Rita: "My God! You're got no underpants on!"
Derek: "I know."
Rita: "Why not?"
Derek: "Too much to take off."
Rita: "Get yourself and THAT away from me!"
Derek: "You'll change your mind about me once you've tasted what it's like to be made love to by a REAL man again!"
Rita: "I already know. And he's strong, muscular, young, handsome, and has a head full of hair and not a fat, ugly, bald git of a weakling like you!"
Derek: "Let me prove to you I'm right. You'll see."
Rita: "I let you come near me before and look where THAT got me!"
Derek: "This time it's different. Come on, darling."
Rita: "Forget it, fathead!"
Derek: "Don't fight me, Rita. I won't hurt you."
Rita: "For God's sake, Derek! Get off me, you bastard! Argh!"
Derek: (embarrassed) "I'm sorry, Rita."
Rita: "Sorry? Sorry? Look what you've done!"
Derek: "That would never have happened if you'd cooperated with me."
Rita: "I happen to be a VERY happily married woman, so I don't expect you to try and rape me and do... that. You stay away from me, and stay away from my husband, d'ye hear me?"
Derek: "But I love you, Rita."
Rita: "You call not being able to control yourself, love?"
Derek: "What's mine is yours, darling."
Rita: (hits him) "Get the hell out of this house right now, or I'll call the police!"
Derek: "All right." (leaves)
Rita: "Bastard! Urgh!"

Back at Emily Bishop's, not only had she, like Elsie Tanner before her, gone back to being called Bishop, but she had also gone slightly mad. She was so destroyed by the fact her toyboy hubby had left her for an older woman, it unbalanced that sherry-soaked brain of hers. She kept thinking about Elsie Tanner and all the young and old men she had - and she was older! Seeing as Elsie was back in the street - albeit in a dead form - she decided to go and get some much-needed advice.

Bill: "Hello, Emily."
Emily: "Hello, Bill. I was wondering if I might possibly have a word with Elsie."
Bill: "I don't know what your game is, Emily, but Elsie's been dead for four-and-a-half years."
Emily: "It's no game, I assue you. I know she's around and I simply must talk to her."
Bill: "Look, Emily. I know you're a nice woman-"
Emily: "I am not a nice woman!"
Bill: "What?"
Emily: "What I mean is, I don't want to be nice at all. I want to be like Elsie."
Elsie: "What?!"
Bill: "You'd better come in."
Emily: "Thank you."
Elsie: "What did you mean by that, Emily Bishop?"
Emily: "Hello again, Elsie."
Elsie: "Are you implying I'm not a nice woman."
Emily: "No, of course not."
Elsie: "Well what then?"
Emily: "It's just that..." (looks at Bill)
Bill: "I'll be down the Rovers. If you want me, just blow some cold air."
Elsie: "Very funny. Well?"
Emily: "I meant I'm sick of being so nice and polite. And the final straw was when my YOUNG husband left me for a woman ten years older than I am!"
Elsie: "I see. And you feel you're not attractive enough to hold a man. Is that it?"
Emily: "I knew you'd understand."
Elise: "I do now. For a while, I thought you were calling me a slut, or something."
Emily: "Never. I'm not Mrs Sharples, you know."
Elsie: (laughs) I certainly sorted THAT one out!"
Emily: "What did you do?"
Elsie: "You see, there's areas. And each area has a leader. I'm our area's leader - replacing good old Ena! And you know just how much she LOVES giving orders. But you know, she was never really any good at taking them."
Emily: "I see. Now, if you could help me with my problem."
Elsie: "Oh yes."
Emily: "What can I do to make myself more attractive to men, like you?"
Elsie: "Are you sure you want to know?"
Emily: "Oh, yes."
Elsie: "I made a lot of mistakes in my life, you know. I don't claim to be perfect when it comes to men."
Emily: "I know. But we all make some mistakes in everything."
Elsie: "All right. I'll tell you. But don't come complaining back and blaming me if it doesn't work."
Emily: "I won't."
Elsie: "Promise?"
Emily: "I promise."
Elsie: "Right then. Here's what you should do..."

Three weeks later Rita returned from Blackpool after her uncle's funeral. Although she was looking forward to being back home with Maurice, the thought of seeing wet Wilton again after that little cock-up at her uncle's made her violently ill. She reached in her bag for something to settle her stomach - what else, but good old vodka! She hadn't told Maurice she was coming because she knew he'd tell Mavis, who'd tell dripface, who didn't need any encouragement! It was late as she crept into the flat and tried her best not to fall over anything on the way to the bedroom, despite the fact the light was on! She looked at Maurice snoring his head off, got undressed and fell into bed.

Maurice: "Who's there?"
Rita: "Hello, darling."
Maurice: "Rita! Why didn't you let me know you were coming."
Rita: "I wanted to surprise you on your birthday."
Maurice: "It is my birthday too. I'd forgotten. Why have you got no clothes on?"
Rita: "Happy birthday, darling."

The next morning, the lovebirds got up late on account of not getting much sleep during the night.

Rita: "You not going in today?"
Maurice: "No. I'd already decided I'd take the day off."
Rita: "Why?"
Maurice: "Well, I WAS planning on popping up to Blackpool to see you."
Rita: "Sorry."
Maurice: "What for? I'm still seeing you, aren't I?"
Rita: "I suppose so."
Maurice: "And touching you."
Rita: (smiles) "Yes."
Maurice: "And..."
Rita: "I get the picture."
Maurice: "How would you like to get something else?"
Rita: "What? Oh..."

An hour later they finally stopped, but only until they got their breath back. They were both thirsty, which is not surprising. So while Maurice was getting a drink of water, Rita had her vodka.

Maurice: "I bet Mave'll be glad you're back. She's been moaning like anything."
Rita: "What about?"
Maurice: "Anything and everything."
Rita: "Do us a favour, love."
Maurice: "What?"
Rita: "Don't tell her I'm back. Well, not yet, anyroad."
Maurice: "Why ever not?"
Rita: "Well, she'll only tell Derek and we don't want HIM sniffing around, do we?"
Maurice: "Definitely not!"
Rita: "And besides. I want to spend some time with you."
Maurice: "All right. Come on. Back to bed.

To be continued...

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 5

Six months later Rita was still carefully avoiding dripface like the plague. She hadn't told Maurice what he'd done in Blackpool and prayed Derek wouldn't. But although she'd successfully managed to keep Maurice safely away from him, she knew
drippy was up to something.

It was the day of Maggie's wedding. A day she'd been looking forward to and dreading because it meant there was no way she could avoid Derek except by not going and she wasn't going to let her only daughter down on her big day, even if her father was an obsessed, sex-maniac bastard. During the ceremony she had such an awful hangover - erm... headache, and was badly in need of something to get rid of it. Now if only she knew something which would get rid of dripface... Later at the reception, while Rita was busy chatting away to her newly-married daughter, Derek was scheming to get Rita to be Mrs Dripface the third. And he knew just the way to do it. Well, at least he HOPED he knew.

Derek: "Hello, Maurice: "
Maurice: "Derek."
Derek: "I must say I was surprised to see you here today."
Maurice: "And why should that be?"
Derek: "Well, after what happened in Blackpool."
Maurice: "What happened, Derek?"
Derek: "Didn't Rita tell you? She said she would as soon as she got back."
Maurice: "Tell me what?"
Derek: "Oh dear. Have I put my foot in it?"
Maurice: "If you don't tell me, Derek, I'll ram this champagne glass down that fat throat of yours!"
Derek: "There's no need to be insulting. Maybe I should just wait and let Rita tell you. She's probably just waiting for the right moment."
Maurice: "Why don't you tell me, Derek, seeing as you seem to know so much about Blackpool?"
Derek: "Well I should do. After all, I WAS there."
Maurice: (shocked) "You were what?"
Derek: "With Rita. I really thought she'd have told you herself."
Maurice: "So do I!"
Derek: "I wonder why she didn't. She said she would."
Maurice: "You're not the only one!"
Derek: "Perhaps after Alan Bradley, she's scared of you."
Maurice: "What?"
Derek: "Well, you have shown your temper, haven't you?"
Maurice: "Only once."
Derek: "Once is enough. If you'll excuse me, I see my daughter's free. Enjoy yourself. Eat and drink as much as you like. After all, I am paying. See you later."

Meanwhile Emily Bishop re-emerged from her 6 months image-change. The first person she went to see was Mavis.

Mavis: "Can I help you?"
Emily: "Mavis, it's me."
Mavis: "I'm sorry. Do I know you?"
Emily: "You should do. It's me. Emily."
Mavis: "Emily?!"
Emily: "That's right."
Mavis: "But it can't be."
Emily: "I thought you'd be surprised."
Mavis: "Oh, I am. I am."
Emily: "Well?"
Mavis: "Not really. Derek's got this obsession and I think I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown."
Emily: "No. I meant, what do you think of my new look?"
Mavis: "An honest opinion?"
Emily: "Yes."
Mavis: "You really want me to tell you what I think?"
Emily: "Of course. You are my best friend."
Mavis: "As your best friend, I'm afraid I have to tell you, you look like a slut."
Emily: "Who cares what you think!"
Mavis: "You did ask."
Emily: "Perhaps I shouldn't have. What's wrong with the way I look? And if you say once more I look like a slut, I'll hit you with a packet of polos."
Mavis: "Well, that hair for a start."
Emily: "What's wrong with it?"
Mavis: "It's dreadful. We already have one redhead in the street without you trying to be the next Elsie Tanner."
Emily: "I'm NOT trying to be the next Elsie Tanner!"
Mavis: "Course not."
Emily: "No. Do you think even if I wanted to, she'd let me?"
Mavis: "But she's dead."
Emily: "You seem to have forgotten something, Mavis."
Mavis: "And what that might be?"
Emily: "She's living at number 11 and is happy with Bill."
Mavis: "I think I need a lie down."

Rita was chatting to her new son-in-law when Maurice grabbed her arm and dragged her outside, making her spill her precious drink. She hit him when he let her go.

Rita: "What's the big idea?"
Maurice: "You tell me."
Rita: "What now?"
Maurice: "Blackpool, lady."
Rita: "What are you on about now? Have you been drinking?"
Maurice: "You know I leave all that to you."
Rita: "Not that again. If you think I'm an alcoholic so much, why don't you leave me and get on with your life?"
Maurice: "You'd like that, wouldn't you? With me out the way, you and Derek can finally get together."
Rita: "What's Derek got to do with anything?"
Maurice: "He's told me about Blackpool."
Rita: "Blackpool again. What rubbish has he been coming out with now?"
Maurice: "Is it rubbish?"
Rita: "How would I know since I haven't a clue what you're talking about."
Maurice: "You and him."
Rita: (sighs) "Maurice. When will you get it into that thick head of yours that I am not drinking a lot or interested in Derek flaming Wilton."
Maurice: "So you deny you were together in Blackpool."
Rita: "Yes, I do! Oh, hang on."
Maurice: "Aha!"
Rita: "Aha, nothing. He turned up at uncle Sam's house."
Maurice: "At your invitation, no doubt."
Rita: "It most certainly was not! He tried to rape me!"
Maurice: "He what?! Why didn't you tell me?"
Rita: "Because I knew you'd go storming round there and kill him. I just want to forget about it."
Maurice: "I can understand that."
Rita: "What exactly did he say had happened?"
Maurice: "He implied you'd been having an affair for months and that included Blackpool."
Rita: "Don't you trust me by now?"
Maurice: "I love you, Rita. Is it any wonder I get jealous at the though of you with other men?"
Rita: "You haven't answered my question."
Maurice: "Of course I trust you. It's just that you're a very beautiful woman, Rita, and I don't want to lose you."
Rita: "I see."
Maurice: "What about Derek?"
Rita: "Oh, I know how to make sure he finally gets the message."
Maurice: "What are you going to do?"
Rita: "Watch."
Maurice: "Rita."
Rita: "What?"
Maurice: "Why don't we get away for a while?"
Rita: "I can't think about that now! I've got to sort out that wet moron!"

Rita stormed back in, saw Derek and grabbed an empty champagne bottle before marching over to him, bottle behind her back."

Rita: "I want a word with you."
Derek: "Hello, darling. Good wedding, wasn't it? It'll be ours next."
Rita: "In your dreams, Derek!"
Derek: "But you ARE my dreams, Rita."
Rita: "Am I? Well I'm just about to become your worst nightmare."
Derek: "How do you mean, darling?"
Rita: "Don't call me darling!"

With that she whacked the bottle where it hurt and, when Derek was bent double in agony, brought it down on his head, sending him sprawling on the floor, still conscious. She crouched beside him.

Rita: "I do hope you get the message now, Derek."
Derek: "I do. I do."
Rita: "And you'll leave me alone now."
Derek: "Yes."
Rita: "Because if you don't, you'll get much worse. Do you understand?"
Derek: "I understand."
Rita: "And I'm not joking either."
Derek: "I guessed that."
Rita: "And when you're able to walk again, I want you to tell my husband and your wife there has NEVER been anything between us since 1955. Is that clear?"
Derek: "Yes, Rita."
Rita: "Or I'll make sure you'll never walk again. Enjoy the rest of the day, Derek."

With that she went to get another drink, carefully watching Maurice's reaction and beginning to get fed up with his accusations even though they were as 100% correct as she was 100% proof.

The next day, Derek called round to Rita's. She was not best pleased to see him.

Derek: "Hello, Rita."
Rita: "I thought I told you to stay away from me."
Derek: "I know. I wanted to see Maurice. Is he in?"
Rita: "Yes. Come in then. Maurice, you've got a visitor."
Maurice: "Oh, it's you."
Rita: "I'll leave you to it."
Derek: "No. Stay, Rita."
Rita: "I don't want to be in the same room as you, Derek."
Derek: "This won't take long."
Rita: "Story of your life."
Maurice: "Just get on with it, Derek."
Derek: "I want to apologise to you both."
Maurice: "Oh aye?"
Derek: "I'm sorry, Maurice, for saying there was something between me and Rita."
Rita: "Is that it?"
Derek: "No. We were never having an affair, Maurice."
Maurice: "Why did you keep insinuating that you were?"
Derek: "I don't know. I'm sorry for everything and I promise to leave you alone, Rita."
Rita: "I should think so."
Derek: "I'd better get back to Mavis. She thinks I deserved what you did, Rita."
Rita: "She's not as daft as I thought she was."
Derek: "And I agree. Oh, before I go. Have you heard about Emily?"
Maurice: "No."
Derek: "They've locked her up."
Rita: "Why?"
Derek: "She seemed to think she was Elsie Tanner. Goodbye." (leaves)
Rita: "Goodbye, Derek, and good riddance."
Maurice: "Nice of him to apologise."
Rita: "Hmm."
Maurice: "Coming back to bed, darling?"
Rita: "No. I'm not in the mood. He's unsettled me."
Maurice: "I can understand that."
Rita: "Why do you stay with me?"
Maurice: "Where did that come from?"
Rita: "I want to know. I left you and you still wanted me back."
Maurice: "I love you."
Rita: "But I drive you up the wall."
Maurice: "For better, for worse."
Rita: "If I HAD been sleeping with Derek, would you have divorced me?"
Maurice: "Not a chance."
Rita: "Why?"
Maurice: "Because it would've been a momentary lapse of taste. I know you love me and would never be serious about anyone else."
Rita: "I see. So you'll never leave or divorce me."
Maurice: "Never. Come on. Come back to bed."
Rita: "What if I said I can't stand your accusations anymore?"
Maurice: "Don't be daft."
Rita: "That I'm sick of you-"
Maurice: "Rita."
Rita: "And fed up with you constantly checking up on me and you're smothering me."
Maurice: "Come on now."
Rita: "That you're making me I wish I'd never met you. What would you say?"
Maurice: "I'd say, all this with first Alan, then Derek has stressed you out and you really need a holiday. I'll get dressed and go and get some brochures." (leaves)

Over at the Wilton's, Derek was feeling low. He still did love and want Rita, but knew he'd blown it now. So he decided to try a new tack, and start by being her friend again in the hope Rita would see sense, rather than do him anymore danage.

Mavis: "Where have you been, Derek?"
Derek: "I went to see Rita and Maurice."
Mavis: "What for?"
Derek: "To apologise for everything. I was wrong about how I felt, Mavis. I let past sentiment cloud my judgement. I don't love her, Mavis. I'm very sorry."
Mavis: "Oh, Derek."

To be continued...

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 6

Later, Maurice returned with a bagful of brochures. The last thing Rita wanted was to be alone with him in a foreign country if he wouldn't leave her to drink her beloved vodka in peace, but pretended to be enthusiastic while she tried to convince him yet again she wasn't an alki.

Rita: "Are there any left in the shop?"
Maurice: "One or two. Where do you fancy?"
Rita: "I don't know. You pick."
Maurice: "How about Australia?"
Rita: "Australia? That's very expensive. I don't want you to go bankrupt."
Maurice: "I can afford it. There's more than enough money in the bank."
Rita: "Is there? Oh, in that case, Australia sounds lovely. I've always wanted to go."
Maurice: "Rita, are you okay?"
Rita: "Yes, darling. I'm sorry for earlier. You were right. Seeing Derek after everything made me take my anger out on you. Am I forgiven?"
Maurice: "I'll forgive you anything, sweetheart."
Rita: "I don't deserve you." (kisses him) "Shall we see about the holiday later?"
Maurice: "What a good idea."

The following month, Rita and Muarice were touring Western Australia. They'd seen the Pinnacles, Wave Rock, Hippo's Yawn, stopped in Geraldton and fought flies, stayed at Monkey Mia Dolphin Resort, then back down south to Bunbury, before going north again to Fremantle then returning to Perth. It was three days before they were due to fly home and decided to go and visit Rottnest Island. They got on the ferry and found somewhere to sit.

Rita: "Excuse me, are these seats taken?"
Juanita: "No. Please sit down."
Rita: "Thanks."
Juanita: "Your first visit to Australia?"
Rita: "Yes. We've been here for a couple of weeks and leave on Saturday."
Juanita: "Have you enjoyed it?"
Rita: "We love it. Don't we, darling?"
Maurice: "It's so beautiful and everyone's really friendly."
Juanita: "Have you seen much of it?"
Maurice: "Quite a bit. We toured Western Australia."
Juanita: "I hoped no kangaroos jumped out at your car."
Rita: "No. We didn't see any in the bush."
Juanita: "Have you seen any koalas or kangaroos?"
Rita: "No."
Juanita: "Well, how about trying Caversham or Cohuna wildlfe parks?"
Maurice: "Are they far from Perth?"
Juanita: "Not as far as some places. Oh. I'm Juanita Adie-Cooper, by the way."
Rita: "I'm Rita Jones and this is my husband, Maurice."
Juanita: "Pleased to meet you. Yeah you'll like them. I think I have some info in my car. When we get back I'll have a look."
Maurice: "Thank you very much."
Rita: "That's very kind."
Juanita: "Not at all. I'm always picking them up for when I have overseas visitors. What do you both do back in the UK?"
Rita: "I own a newsagents."
Maurice: "And I run a building firm."
Juanita: "Must pay well to afford a trip out here."
Maurice: "Good job too the amount Rita's spent on clothes! We needed to buy another case to get them all home."
Juanita: "I had a Brit friend stay recently who was exactly the same. She had absolutely no willpower. On her first full day, I took her to Suby and she bought something in every store!"
Rita: "Suby?"
Juanita: "Subiaco, where I live. It's a Perth suburb."
Maurice: "What do you do for a living?"
Juanita: "I'm a business consultant and auditor. Part self-employed and the government takes a good chunk of my money."
Maurice: "Typical governments."
Juanita: "Yeah. The crew will come round later with some free refreshments."
Rita: "Free? That's good. We never get that."
Juanita: "Well you do here. A choice of tea or coffee and a biscuit. Any more and you have to pay."
Rita: "Have you been to Rottnest Island often?"
Juanita: "Oh yeah. Rotto's great. I had a day off today, so I thought I'd recharge my batteries. You'll love the Quokkas. They're so cute."
Maurice: "Quokkas?"
Juanita: "They're native small animals on the island. Tell you what. Why don't you take the tour? It's great. It lasts two hours. There's usually a bit of a wait so I can show you some of the sights while you're waiting."
Rita: "Are you sure it's not too much trouble?"
Juanita: "Not a bit of it. I've been here so often, I can show you both some things you might miss."
Maurice: "Well, thank you very much, Juanita."
Rita: "How long will it take to get to, er... Rotto?
Juanita: "About an hour. We'll stop off at Grouse Head to let people on and off. That's Freo."
Maurice: "Freo?"
Juanita: "Fremantle. Then we'll pick up speed so prepare to get wet!"
Maurice: "Okay."

The boat cast off and Maurice snapped away at the scenery en route. Finally they arrived. They booked their seats on the bus tour and Juanita showed them parts of the island while they waited. Then they got on the bus. Rita was quite taken with the Quokkas and Maurice snapped as many as he could see which were hiding in the grass. They carried on the tour, taking in Wadjemup Lighthouse (otherwise known as Rottnest Lighthouse), which was practically in the centre of the island, before going on with the tour. When they arrived at Rocky Bay, Richard the driver told everyone they had half an hour. Most people
dashed up the hill to the toilets, while Rita, Maurice and Juanita wandered around the boardwalk. It was quite breezy and there was quite a drop from the cliffs. As they wandered taking in the beautiful, rugged scenery, Rita stumbled and fell into Maurice, who lost his footing and fell down a cliff. Rita stayed silent as Juanita screamed. Everyone came running.

Richard: "What happened?"
Juanita: "This lady's husband slipped and went over the cliff."
Richard: "Are you okay, lady?"

Rita stayed silent and just looked at him.

Richard: "Okay. Are you a friend?"
Juanita: "We met on the boat coming over."
Richard: "You take her back to the bus and I'll phone for help."
Juanita: "Okay. Rita?"

Rita still said nothing as Juanita led her back to the bus. She sat her down then went to the front to see what was happening.

Three hours later, the news was not good. Maurice had died of terrible internal injuries. Juanita was a rock and helped Rita make all the arrangements for returning home. Rita hadn't cried once, which Juanita took to be shock. Maurice's death was ruled to be accidental.

Rita arrived back in Weatherfield two days after the verdict. Everyone was so sorry for her, except Derek who saw the absence of Maurice as an opening for him. Rita went straight up to the flat and locked the door. She emptied all the vodka, then got out the photo albums and flicked through them.

Rita: "Ahh, Len. Poor stupid Len. If only he'd known I'd put an untraceable herbal sleeping draught in his lunch and flask. And Alan. So handy that tram coming along at the right time. You were just as stupid to follow me instead of letting it pass. My timing has always been perfect. Now Maurice. You should have not been so possessive. I was beginning to think I'd never get rid of you, what with the holiday coming to an end. Good old Rotto! Who can I find now to marry me? I know. Ted Sullivan. He'll be retiring next year so hopefully won't have too many years left. And he must be loaded, or at least have plenty of money since he keeps talking about moving to Florida. Yes. He'd be perfect. He's already flirted with me. I'll just keep up this pretence of mourning for a while then go in for the kill on my next willing victim. Here's to the next funeral!"

So Rita was happy again and no longer drank much. She changed the name of the shop to back to The Kabin and went back to calling herself Fairclough. Then she successfully hooked her retired salesman, and the rest is history...


The End

Patsy