Reet's Australian Adventure

[RitaLittlewood]

Originally written 3rd to 5th March 2006

Part 1

March 2006 in a very cold Weatherfield and Reet came to a major decision.

"I'm going on one of my many unexplained absences, Norris," she announced.
"Nothing new," Norris grumbled.
"Only this one will be explained," she pressed through gritted teeth. "Now shurrup and listen, peasant, cos yer coming with me." She clonked him round the head with a copy of the Weatherfield Gazette.
"Why am I going with you?" he wondered.
"Because yer me trusty handmaiden," she explained. "Well, handmaiden at any rate." Norris glared at her so she hit him again. "Stop looking at me like that. I'm not mad. Just traumatised."
"You would be after what that Stacy put you through," he agreed, rubbing his latest bumps.
"Not traumatised in that way, idiot!" she screeched, whacking him again. "The trauma comes from one minute having to do me award-winning tears and nose dripping acting and the next being perfectly normal like nowt's happened. I can't cope with it. If I stay here much longer without a break who knows what them daft writers'll have me doing next. Probably go-go dancing on the Rovers bar since there's no consistency to any of their scripts. I need a holiday. Somewhere hot to defrost me."
"Where were you thinking of going?" Norris wondered. "And how much is it going to cost?"
"I were thinking of Australia," she told him. "It's just starting autumn there so should still be pretty hot so I can put on me bikini and lounge by the pool."
Norris felt sick at the thought of her in a bikini but tried not to throw up because he knew she'd only make him clean it up with his tongue after committing more physical violence on his person. "Very nice I'm sure. Don't think I'd like it though. Too hot for me."
"Oh shurrup, yer wimp!" she screeched, hitting him again. "Yer coming and that's an end to it. Emily can look after t'shop. Help take her mind off her own latest storyline. As for the price, it's all booked and paid for."
"Oh good," he said relieved.
"I'll take it out of yer share of the profits when we get back," she added. "Now get packing. We leave for the airport in an hour."

The following afternoon, they landed at Perth International airport. Reet had chosen that state capital specificially because she heard there were only a couple of million people living there compared with other places, so it was more than likely she'd meet an eligible rich Aussie to cheer her up. Norris had been sick throughout most of the journey, much to her annoyance and collapsed when he left the cool of the air conditioning in the terminal and stepped onto the pavement.
"What's the matter with yer?" she demanded. "Gerrup, peasant. Yer look ridiculous down there."
"Aren't you hot?" he gasped. "I need water."
"Oh shurrup moaning!" she yelled. "Course I'm hot. And yer should do what I'm going to."
"What's that?" he asked. "Or shouldn't I ask."
"Take most of yer clothes off, moron," she replied then proceeded to remove her 20 layers of tops. "How's that?"
"You don't look any thinner," he remarked. "Sure you've taken them all off?"
She scowled at him then stood hard on his hand. "Watch it, peasant. They have crocodiles over here and I'm sure they'd be delighted to eat an annoying idiot any time. Now get up and get that luggage over to the hire car."
"Might have helped if you'd got a trolley," he groaned, pushing himself up.
"But yer need the exercise," she pointed out. "Yer getting a pot belly, probably from scoffing all the humbugs when me back's turned. Thought I hadn't noticed, didn't yer, eh? I may be old, peasant, but surprisingly for me age, still have twenty/twenty vision."
"What about you?" he countered. "You've got more of a pot belly than I have. You need the exercise more than I do. After all, I'm sure the crocodiles would prefer all the meat on you to me."
Her eyes narrowed. "I happen to still be a fine figure of a woman, peasant," she hissed. "Now get moving or I'll look up where the crocodiles are as soon as we get to t'hotel!"
He did as ordered, determined one of these days he would get his own back and then she drove them to the Intercontinental at Burswood Restort.

Later that evening, Reet waited impatiently in the bar for Norris. By the time he got there she had got through several bottles of vodka.
"About time yer got here," she snapped. "Give us some money."
"You've got more than I have, Reet," he whined. "Why don't you use your own?"
"Because I want yers, peasant!" she screeched, hitting him over the head.
"What do you want it for?" he wondered, glancing at the empty bottles on the table. "Pay the bar bill?"
She picked one up and hit him round the head. "There's a casino here, idiot. That means there should be some rich fellas to try and snare. Now hand it over or else." He reluctantly did as ordered. "Seventy five dollars? Is that all?"
"My share of the business doesn't pay much profit, as I'm sure you well know," he said. "In fact, it's less than when you paid me a weekly wage."
"I know," she grinned smugly. "But it were yer choice. Yer badgered me into giving yer a partnership. Now, I'm off to the casino. Don't wait up."
"As if I would," he mumbled. "Besides, I'm too jetlagged."
She stood and downed the rest of the current bottle. "See yer at breakfast. Maybe." With that she winked then swept out.
"I hope you get fed to the crocodiles," he said to himself.

To be continued....

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 2

Reet was full of the joys at breakfast.
"Good night, was it?" Norris asked.
"Wonderful," she beamed. "Did yer sleep well?"
"Very," he replied. "I was asleep as soon as my head hit that pillow. What about you?"
"Didn't get a wink," she grinned. "There were this fella in the casino last night. Drew his name were." She sighed wistfully.
"I don't think I want to know the gory details, Reet," Norris said quickly.
"It were nowt like that, peasant!" she yelled, hitting him round the head. "Not yet any road. I were up all night in the casino winning a fortune."
"Oh," he said, smiling. "Does that mean I'm rich now?"
"I beg yer pardon?" she gasped, wide-eyed.
"Well, it was my money you used," he pointed out.
"That's as maybe, but yer still owe me for the cost of the flight, ETA and all this," she snapped. "So I'm keeping it. Now I picked up some leaflets on me way here so eat yer breakfast and then we'll take the Trifecta tour to Fremantle. See if there's any rich sailors about who are desperate."
"They'd have to be," he mumbled.
"What were that, peasant?" Her eyes narrowed.
"I said, whoopee," he lied.
"I very much doubt that," she replied. "I know exactly what yer said. I also have perfect hearing for me age so belt up and do as yer told!" He sat here in silence. "Now this Trifecta costs seventy dollars so yer'll owe me for that."
"What is this Trifecta thing?" he asked.
"Tram tour round Perth, ferry trip to Fremantle and a tram tour round that too," she explained. There's a pick-up point right outside the porter told me at the crack of dawn. Now, get dressed and get a shift on. Have to be there for eight."
"I-I don't feel like it, Reet," Norris stammered nervously. "You know I get seasick."
"Yer'll get hospital food sick if yer don't do as yer told!" she threatened. "Now get!"

The tour went through various parts of Perth including King's Park and pulled up at Barrack Street Jetty for Captian Cook Cruises, who were doing this tour. They got off then went on the James Stirling, Reet making sure they weren't photographed together as they boarded. They sat at the back outside and watched as they pulled away and headed down the Swan River.
"They have free tea apparently," Reet piped up. "Go and get us a cup."
"And what if I refuse?" he asked. She raised an eyebrow. "I'll go and get your tea."
"And bring us back some biccies," she ordered.
The commentary went in one of Reet's ears and out the other while Norris was fascinated. She started to doze off until mention of millionaires row snapped her eyes open. "Fifty-three million dollars," she echoed the commentary and fixed her eyes on the house the man was talking about. "I wouldn't mind a piece of that. What did he say the owner did for a living?"
"Retired goldminer," he told her. "Somewhere called Kalgoorlie."
"Gold..." she sighed dreamily.
"Apparently this Kalgoorlie place is full of gold mines that are still active," he explained.
"So it should be full of millionaires," she realised. "Soon as we get back we'll have to find out where this Kalgoorlie is and go there."
"What about all your desperate sailors?" he asked.
"Who said owt about sailors?" she screeched. "Unless it's yer that wants one. Now shurrup and let me think how I'm going to snare me next rich hubby."
"But Reet," he stammered nervously. "The ETA only lasts 3 months. It'll take longer than that for you to meet anyone the slightest bit interested in you then we'll be deported."
"Not in soaps, moron!" she yelled. "Don't yer know owt? We can stay out here as long as we like. Years even. No deportation ever happens in soaps. Now belt up before I chuck yer overboard!"

They returned to Perth several hours later then in the morning took the long, 6 hour drive inland along the Great Eastern Highway to Kalgoorlie-Boulder. Norris was fed up and inspected the sunburn on his left arm from where he'd been burnt from sitting in the passenger seat.
"Talk about hick towns," he sniffed, totally unimpressed and they drove through Southern Cross. "Looks more like something from the wild west than being goldfields."
"Oh shurrup, peasant!" she ordered, pulling up at the roadhouse. "Yer not going to spoil this for me if I can get me a rich, hick millionaire too daft enough to realise I only want his cash. And if yer tell 'em, yer'll regret it."
"Wouldn't dream of it," he said.
"Good." She turned the engine off. "Now get out and stretch yer legs, short as they are."
"Your legs aren't that much different to mine, Reet," he replied. She glared at him, got out and slammed the door. "One of these days, Reet..."
"I heard that!" she yelled from the toilet. When she returned to the car, she added, "I can always leave yer out here if yer don't like it."
"Shall we just go?" he said. "How much longer is it?"
"Too long with yer whining." She slammed the door, put on her seatbelt and started the engine. "Ready? Or do yer need to go wee wee?"
"I do wish you wouldn't keep either assaulting me or treating me like a child, Reet," he grumbled.
"Oh shurrup, yer big baby," she said, whacking him round the head. "Now, be a good little boy, sit there quietly and suck yer thumb while yer sulk or I won't give yer a lollipop when we get there." She reversed and headed back on the open road.

Norris was slightly more impressed when they approached Kalgoorlie-Boulder less than two hours later, though would still have preferred to be freezing in Weatherfield. They booked into the Kalgoorlie Accommodation Village on Burt Street five kilometres outside the town, seeing as the cheaper hotels were booked up by miners and holiday makers, and took possession of a Swiss-style chalet that slept five.
"Ah, a pool," Reet sighed as she gazed at the view opposite their front door. She plonked herself down on the bench under the kitchen window. "Take the bags in, peasant."
"And what are you going to do while I'm giving myself a hernia?" he asked, an edge to his voice.
"Go for a swim," she beamed.
"Let's hope no one has a harpoon handy then," he remarked.
She rose slowly, eyes narrowed. "Get in there!" she yelled, shoving him roughly, the screen door slamming behind her before she slammed the main door. He fell onto the luggage. "Gerrup!" She grabbed his ear and pulled it upwards. He screamed out in pain. "Belt up, peasant!"
"It hurts, Reet," he whimpered.
"So?" she shrugged. "What's a little pain between friends?"
"Oh, so you wouldn't object if I did the same to you?" he asked, trying desperately to get his ear back.
"Yer try it, sunshine, and it'll be t'last thing yer ever do," she warned, finally releasing him and pushing him across the room.
"Well, we are supposed to be friends," he said.
"Yer no friend of mine," she yelled. "Yer a peasant! Now, what were that crack yer made about a harpoon?"
"It was a joke," he bluffed. "Obviously a bad one."
"Yer got summat right at last," she snorted. "Yer were insinuating I were a whale."
"I wasn't," he protested.
"Shurrup, moron!" she yelled. "I know exactly what yer were implying. Yer may be stupid but don't judge me by yer own lack of intelligence. Now, I see there's a couple of beds up there." She pointed to a loft at the top of a ladder. "Yer sleep there. I'll have the double next to the bathroom where yerwon't disturb me if yer value yer miserable, pathetic excuse of a life."
"But what about when I need to go to the bathroom?" he protested.
"Yer can use one of the amenity blocks, peasant," she commanded. "That one is all mine and don't yer forget it. Now, it says here there's a shop round the corner. Get going and buy some food while I take a dip in that pool. Well? What yer waiting for? Go!"
"You took all my money a couple of nights ago," he reminded smugly. "Can't do any shopping without funds."
Her blood pressure rose as she opened her bag, took out some dollars and handed them over. "That comes out of what yer owe me for t'holiday an' all."
"Thought it might(!)" he said knowingly.
"Now go before I end up drowning yer!" she screeched.
"I wish you'd drown yourself," he replied, hastily rushing out the door as she threw an unbreakable plate at him.
"Yer just wait till yer get back, peasant," she said to herself. "I'll give yer harpoon..."

To be continued....

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 3

The following day after breakfast, they went looking around what there was to see of Kalgoorlie.
"I'm bored," Reet sighed heavily. "Where's all these millionaire goldminers?"
"Maybe they're all busy at the brothels?" Norris replied.
"Brothels?" she shrieked. "When I'm here for free? Are they mad?"
"Won't you get your fee when they drop dead?" he remarked.
She belted him. "I'm not a prostitute, yer know!"
"You sleep with and marry men for their money. What's the difference?" he wondered.
Reet's heckles rose. "How dare yer!"
"That's the way you come across," he noted. "Not my fault if you've given out the wrong impression of yourself."
She was about to yell then changed her mind. "Let's go to one of them brothels. A couple of them do tours and maybe we'll come across one of them millionaires who falls at me feet as soon as they clap eyes on me gorgeous face and luscious figure."
"No good giving them a fatal heart attack before you've got that ring on your finger," Norris said.
"Oh belt up and get back to the car!" she yelled, pushing him forward.
Norris and Reet didn't speak as they drove to Hay Street where the three remaining working brothels were and pulled up outside one.
"Now, peasant," she began, finger pointing at him, "I don't want yer getting over excited when yer go in there. Can't deal with yer hyperventilating at the thought of all that kinky stuff."
"What, like you when it comes to the thought of rich men?" he quipped.
"Oh shurrup and get in there!" she yelled.
He did as ordered, muttering under his breath. "Says it costs twenty dollars, Reet."
"I can read, moron!" she yelled. "I suppose I'll have to stump up for this an' all." She handed over the money, they put the sticker on their clothes they were told to then had a look around the lounge and shop while they waited for the tour to begin at one. She was quite fascinated by the vibrating anal beads and had visions of using them on Norris as another form of torture, then changed her mind, reasoning he'd probably enjoy it.
When the tour started, there were several people there. Reet was fascinated by some of the rooms.
"What if people don't like sport?" she asked the guide when they reached the bondage room.
"Most do," she told her.
"Okay then," Reet continued. "What if they don't like boxing. That bed like a boxing ring's not going to get their ardour up, is it?"
"The girls distract them," she explained. "Now, would anyone like to ring the bell?"
When no one offered, Reet said, "I'll have a go," as she pushed her way through them. "Come and look at this, Norris."
He reluctantly went to her, wondering why she was being so nice and using his name instead of an insult. "Look at what?"
"The detail on this bell," she replied, holding the rope tightly."
"Looks just like an ordinary bell to me," he sniffed.
"Look closer," she ordered through gritted teeth. When he did she rang it and laughed as he put his hands over his ears.
"I don't think that was very funny, Reet," he growled.
"Don't you?" she guffawed. "We all do so get used to it."
The tour continued while Norris sulked. When they reached one room with a mural of prostitutes from the old days, the guide invited them to sit on the bed so they could say they had been on one in a brothel.
"Three girls and one fella. Are yer sure yer up to it, Norris?" Reet laughed.
Norris scowled, getting increasingly fed up with his business partner by the second. "I wouldn't touch you if you paid me."
"No one'd be that desperate," she told him while the other two women laughed.
After the tour ended and they went for their complimentary tea and biscuits where they started, Reet was preoccupied.
"Are you okay, Reet?" Norris asked.
"Never better," she replied. "Yer just sit there. I want to ask that young woman summat." She walked over to the desk.
"Can I help you?" the guide said.
"Yes. Well, I certainly hope so," Reet said. "I was very interested to hear about that woman in her eighties who still had regular clients and wondered if yer had any vacancies?"
"You?" the woman said shocked, trying not to laugh. "Aren't you a bit old?"
"So were she," Reet countered. "Didn't stop 'em still coming, did it?"
"No," the woman conceded.
"Just a month's trial," Reet pleaded. "Please. Give us a chance. There might be some fellas out there who'd appreciate a more mature woman to grab hold of."
"It's not up to me," she explained. "You'll have to talk to the madam. Can you come back about eight?"
"I'll be here," she beamed. "Thanks. Norris! We're going! Bye."
Norris trotted behind her. "What was all that about?"
"Keep that out!" she screeched, hitting his nose hard. "Yer'll find out if I manage to pull it off. And I don't mean yer nose. Yet."

Reet left Norris at the chalet and returned to the brothel to plead her case with the madam.
"I must say," the madam was saying, "I tend to agree with the guide. You are a bit on the old side."
"Yer no spring chicken yerself," Reet pointed out. "And neither was that one in her eighties. I may be seventy-three but I still have men lusting after me back in Weatherfield. I know I can be good for yer business. Just give us a chance. Please. If it don't work out then fine. But yer'll never know if yer don't."
The madam thought a while. "Well, I have to admit there are a few of our clients who haven't been coming as much lately because of various conditions you get with old age. These young girls are too strenuous for them at times. You'll have to have a thorough medical."
"I'll do owt," she said rather too quickly. "So yer have several elderly clients then?"
The madam nodded. "Some rich. Some poor. As long as they can afford it, who cares?"
Reet's mind went into overdrive. "Who indeed?"
"Come back tomorrow about ten," the madam said. "And we'll see what we can do."
Reet stood. "Thank yer so much. Yer won't regret it."
"I hope not," the madam said, still lying on her bed. "Good night."
"Night," Reet smiled then let herself out and returned to the chalet.

To be continued...

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 4

Several months later, things were going very well for Reet, despite no work visa and the ETA running out. She had been a surprising success and generated more money than the younger girls put together from the elderly clients as well as some younger ones. The madam was put out even she wasn't getting a look in so sold the brothel to Reet. Norris wasn't pleased since she put him to work in the Roman Orgy room under the threat of vibrating anal beads and Japanese silk rope in the bondage room if he disobeyed her. And she had met her millionaire owner of the mansion in Perth which made her even more happy. She was in love - with his bank balance as usual. They were out on a date, Norris back at the chalet watching the in-house films.
"Where are we going?" Reet asked as they returned to the car after dinner.
"I want to show you the hub of my empire, sweetheart," he said.
"In't it a bit dark?" she observed.
"Yes," he concurred. "But it's got lights so you'll see it in all its glory."
"Oh, Carl," she cooed. "I do love yer."
"And I love you, Reet," he cooed back. "I'm so glad you came up to Kal."
"So am I," she said dreamily as they kissed passionately.
He started the car. "When you see the hub, Reet, it will literally take your breath away."
"I can't wait," she grinned.
"Neither can I," he grinned back then they drove there in silence. When they arrived he pulled the car to a stop. "Here we are. Welcome to the Super Pit." He got out and noticed she hadn't moved. "Are you coming?"
She opened the door and got out. "Course I am." She forced a grin. "But are we okay to be here? It's all locked up."
"Reet, I may be retired but I still have the keys," he assured. "It's fine." He held his hand out. She paused for a moment then took it. "Come on. You'll die when you see the view." He led the way to the top and stopped. "Isn't it magnificent?"
"It's very deep down there," she noted. "How deep is it?"
"Five hundred metres," he told her.
"What's that in English?" she laughed.
"About one thousand, six hundred and fifty feet," he said.
"Has anybody fallen to their death?" she asked.
"Not yet," he replied in a tone she didn't fail to miss.
She looked up at him and fear began to grip her stomach. "Carl?"
"I have something to tell you, Reet," he began. "We've met before. A very long time ago."
"But we can't have," she said. "I've never been to Australia before."
"Not in Australia," he went on. "In Weatherfield."
"Are yer sure?" she laughed nervously. "I'd have remembered yer if we had."
"Remembered me for my money, eh, Reet?" he said. "It's ironic it's you being with me for all the cash you can get instead of the other way round."
"I don't know what yer talking about, Carl," she said, getting more nervous by the minute.
"Oh, I think you do, Reet." He stared hard at her.
"No, I don't," she sniffed, tears welling up in her eyes. "Now stop playing games, Carl."
"Alan," he corrected.
"What?" she gasped, nose starting to run. "I want to get out of here. Yer mad!"
He grabbed her arm. "If I'm not Alan, why are you so keen to get away from me? Surely you'd have nothing to be afraid of."
"Alan's dead!" she yelled.
"Well I was, that's for sure," he explained. "You see, they were desperate to bring back Richard Hillman only people complained they saw his body etcetera so it would be stupid. So they brought me back instead, not realising it was just as stupid. Still, it gives you something to do. And you know how they love bringing back past characters or coming up with anything ridiculous just to give you something to do, Reet."
"Yer don't sound like Alan," she sobbed. "Yer don't even look like him."
"That's because I've been recast, you stupid bitch!" he yelled. "They like doing that an' all. My appearance is explained by a mining accident resulting in reconstructive surgery. And my resurrection by being knocked out by the tram then I faked my own death and fled here."
"Jenny thinks yer dead," she said, eyes streaming and nose dripping.
"Yes," he said sadly. "I'm very sorry I've had to put her through that but it couldn't be helped. I had my chance to get away from you and your poison. But when I saw you in the brothel... Well, it was fate, Reet. It's been a long time. Do you honestly think I'd have picked a raddled old bag like you to pay to sleep with if I wasn't Alan? Do you think I even enjoyed it? You were never that great in bed, Reet. Now you've let yourself go and look like a wrinkled Giant Haystacks without the height, you're even worse. Seeing you again after all these years was too good a chance to miss."
"Chance?" she asked warily.
"To finally kill you once and for all," he grinned. "Why do you think I brought you here? For the view? This is where you say goodbye to your life, Reet."
At that moment she heard a car approaching and turned round to see Norris in the Holden rental. She cried with relief as he got out. "Norris. Oh, am I glad to see yer. Call the police. He's going to kill me." Norris did nothing. "Norris? Call the police!"
"No," he said firmly.
"What are yer playing at?" she screeched. "Me life's in danger. Anyone'd think yer didn't care."
"I don't. Not any more," he told her. "I used to until you started assaulting me and treating me as your personal slave. Alan's right. This is where you die."
Reet was stunned. "I haven't left the shop to yer in me will, yer know, if that's what yer after."
"It isn't," he said. "I'm after satisfaction. Alan and I have it all planned. Worked on it for weeks. You've got it coming, Reet. And I'm only too willing to help him murder you."
"Yer can't do this to me!" she screamed, eyes streaming more. "Yer'll go to prison."
"It'll be worth it," Norris spat, "to be rid of you once and for all."
"Not that it'll go that far," Alan added rather too confidently for her liking. "I'll tell them I brought you both up here to admire the view and you fell. I'm sure Norris will be a witness to that fact."
"Fact?" she wailed. "It'll be a lie!"
"Only we three will ever know that," he pointed out. "And you'll not be in any position to tell the truth. Very fitting with your greed for all things worth a pretty penny, you should die on a gold mine."
Reet tried to get away but they grabbed her and dragged her to the edge screaming.
"You can scream as loud as you like, bitch," Alan said. "No one will hear you. Say your goodbyes, Norris."
"Good riddance," Norris said.
"Pleasant death, Reet," Alan went on. "It hasn't been a pleasure knowing you."
"I'll second that," Norris piped up.
They threw her over, enjoying her screams get fainter the further she fell until there was an eerie silence.
"Fancy a drink to celebrate, Norris?" Alan suggested.
"I won't say no," he beamed.
"We'll give it a few minutes just to make sure she's dead in case she's breathing her last down there then call the police," Alan said. "In the meantime, there's a bottle of scotch in my car. Let's go and open it."

To be continued...

[RitaLittlewood]

Part 5

A few hours passed and the police and ambulance had finally been called. Both Alan and Norris were shocked to discover Reet was actually still alive, just unconscious with several broken bones and internal bleeding. They were at his house.
"How the hell did that bitch manage to survive a fall like that?" Alan growled angrily, pacing up and down.
"I wish I knew," Norris replied. "What are we going to do?"
"Finish her off once and for all," he snapped. "Can't risk her waking up."
"The doctor said she could be brain damaged so wouldn't remember what happened anyway," Norris reminded.
"She won't be brain damaged," Alan snorted. "No brain to damage! No. We have to switch off her life support machine. It's the only way we'll get away with this for sure and make sure that she dies once and for all. I've spent years putting what that bitch did to me out of my mind and building a new life here. Now she's resurrected all those old grudges, there's no other way. She's had it coming for the past seventeen years and I am not going to waste this stoke of luck."
Norris felt uneasy. Despite the way the writers made out every resident since 1990 knew as much of what had happened between Alan and Reet as those there are at the time, all their knowledge came from books, repeats, videos, DVDs, websites and newspapers so he only knew the bare minimum regarding those years. He sensed he was getting out of his depth and Alan had a more sinister agenda than just a spot of revenge for the way he was treated. It was more like he was obsessed. His whole waking, and possibly sleeping, thoughts were of how to get even with her. The premise of doing Reet in had been an excellent one and would have been fine if she'd died instantly as she was supposed to. But he wasn't sure he could have anything to do with it now. "Can't we just leave it a while and see what happens?" he suggested. "She may die anyway."
"No!" Alan yelled. "When she dies it has to be at my hand! She nearly caused my own death in Blackpool. She's got away with everything she's done to me far too long. It's payback time. With interest."
"Y-You don't need me there though, do you?" Norris asked nervously.
Alan glared making Norris feel even more uneasy. "Oh yes I do, Norris. If you chicken out now, I'll tell the police you pushed her over and threatened me if I said anything."
"But we both know that wouldn't be true," he whined.
"You're beginning to sound like that bitch," Alan spat. "Fancy a little trip down the Super Pit yourself, eh?"
Norris swallowed hard. "I'm sorry. It's all going wrong. I thought you said it would be simple."
"How the hell was I to know she'd live, eh?" he yelled again. "She was supposed to die. It is one hell of a drop after all. Trust her to ruin everything. Nothing changes with her. All my carefully worked out plans up in smoke because she never cooperates! We can't run the risk of her waking up, Norris. We MUST turn off her life support machine. It's the only way to be rid of her once and for all. Think of the way she's treated you. She's an evil, selfish, money-grabbing bitch who doesn't deserve to have even been born. So, coming?"
"Damn right I am," Norris replied resolutely. "You're right. I hate her as much as you do for the way she behaves."
"Oh no, Norris," Alan said. "No one could possibly hate her as much as I do. Let's go."

They arrived at the hospital carrying the obligatory flowers and grapes and watched her through the window.
"There she is," Alan said bitterly. "No chance of her escaping this time. Come on. Let's get this over with."
"It'll be a pleasure," Norris said. "I'm already planning my eulogy."
"Hope it will be a good one," Alan replied.
"Oh it will be," Norris assured. "The whole of Weatherfield will have a party lasting months over her demise."
Alan nudged him when he saw a nurse passing. "Remember," he added in hushed tones when there was no one about. "We have to play the concerned lover and employee and pick our moment to switch the machine off."
"Got you," Norris smiled. "Let's hope it's not too long a wait."
Norris followed Alan in.
"How is she, nurse?" Alan asked, feigning worry.
"No change, Mr...?" the nurse told him.
"Cooper," Alan said. "I'm her fiancé. We were planning on getting married when..."
Norris put his hand on Alan's shoulder as reassurance. "I'm her business partner. Norris Cole. I still can't believe this has happened. Oh Reet. You must pull through."
"I'll leave you to it," the nurse said. "Any worries and I'm just a button away."
They watched her leave then sat by the bed.
"Good performance, Norris," Alan said. "Better than hers anyway. She's not even convincing lying at death's door in a coma."
"She still thinks she's great even if we don't," Norris noted.
"And we know her better than anyone else," Alan added.
"When are we going to switch the machine off?" Norris asked.
"Getting impatient, Norris?" Alan replied.
"Now we're here, I want it over with as soon as possible then we can both get on with our lives free of her," he explained.
"I know that feeling only too well," Alan concurred. "Well, there's no time like the present. You keep watch while I have a look at this and see how to do it." Norris went to the door as instructed, relieved Alan wasn't making him do it, while Alan inspected the equipment. "Got it. Are you ready for her funeral?"
"Never more so," Norris told him grinning.
"Here we go then. Finally goodbye, you raddled old bitch." He flicked the switch and Reet's eyes snapped open. "What the...?"
"Hello, Alan. Peasant," she said.
"You're not going to ruin this for me, bitch!" Alan yelled, lunging at her. "I'm going to kill you if it's the last thing I ever do!"
"Alan!" Norris cried, almost wetting himself. "The police are coming! We've got to get out of here!"
"Not until she's dead!" he yelled. "I don't care what happens to me as long as she's no longer breathing!"
The police burst in, grabbing Norris and pulling Alan off Reet.
"About time," she croaked, rubbing her throat. "I were beginning to think yer weren't coming."
"Sorry, Mrs Sullivan," one of WA's finest told her.
"Why aren't you in a coma?" Alan demanded.
"Oh I were," she explained. "Only I came to and we planned this trap for yer both, knowing it were only a matter of time before yer tried to do me in again. Enjoy prison life. Especially yer, peasant. I hope yer get very friendly with some nice, butch Aussie called Bruce."
"It wasn't my idea, Reet," Norris protested. "Alan forced me to go along with it."
"Liar!" Alan yelled. "You were only too willing to help."
"For once, that bastard's got summat right," she said. "I heard yer when I were lying here. And don't forget what yer said to me at the pit. Get 'em out of me sight."
"Please, Reet," Norris begged as he was being led away. "Have a heart. Don't make me go to prison. I don't want to be anybody's plaything."
"Shurrup moaning, peasant!" she croaked. "Just bend over and think of England."
"Will you be all right?" the copper asked her.
"I will now," she nodded, smiling. "Thanks for everything."

A couple of weeks later, Reet had relented and dropped the charges against Norris on condition he gave her his share of the business back for nothing, never complained when she took time off or battered him and never answered back. He was only too willing to agree. They returned to Weatherfield and things went back to normal.

The End

Patsy

[pearly queen]

OMG Reet is so monstrous in this anybody would want to kill her!!
I reckon she survived the fall down the mine because of several layers of cash padding stuffed all about her body and invisible forcefield hairspray.

[RitaLittlewood]

LOL! I know. I think I surpassed myself with Reet's nastiness. The end was rushed. I was going to have her complain at the airport over the $3 charge for a trolley. It's not right you get them free when you arrive but have to pay for departures. No wonder so many people were dragging their luggage from the car park. They're not even as good as ours either. And being the tightfisted old bag Reet is, she'd have had something to say about that for certain. LOL!

I just had to have Norris try and kill her. Alan is one thing. But you wouldn't expect Norris to be so willing! ;D

Patsy