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Post by sallywebster on Dec 8, 2006 21:40:25 GMT
Eee Reet what do yer think of Norris's daft antics? I bet yer were happy to see im arrested tonight!
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Dec 12, 2006 16:36:30 GMT
Greetings from an exhausted Megastar peasants!
It's been non-stop since they dragged me away from bagging me next rich soon-to-be-dead hubby. I go on like this and I'll conk out over t'turkey! There's nowt else for it. I demand another holiday. One that lasts 8 months this time. I should just about recover during that time. Only they still better pay me what I'm worth. Come to think of it, I've unvalued as it is. I shall storm into the producer's office first thing tomorrow mid-afternoon after I've bothered getting up and demand a pay rise! Well after they cancelled the Christmas booze-up meaning we have to pay for it out of our own pockets, they've got more than enough to meet me demands or I'll quit. They know there's no show without me. I'm so adored all over the world! Oh belt up, ignorant peasants! Yer all sounding as bad as me hand maiden. Useless perv he is.
Jez dear I only with the writers had listened to me and kept him locked up permanantly.
Till next time!
Queen Reet
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Post by pearly queen on Dec 12, 2006 17:00:52 GMT
Reet - a tip.
I may have worked out why you always feel so rough - so try this:
Go home to your scented boudoir and get a servant to lift up the feather mattresses on your bed. If my theory is right - you might find a small hard pea under the mattress. Remove the pea, shoot the lazy maid and you will be able to rest properly and live happily ever after.
(Don't mention it).
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Dec 12, 2006 17:27:48 GMT
LMAO!
Patsy
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Post by sallywebster on Dec 12, 2006 17:42:27 GMT
Jez dear I only with the writers had listened to me and kept him locked up permanantly. Queen Reet Eee, Queen Reet, im only surprised yer dont clout im over t'head with nearest heavy object! ;D |
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Dec 23, 2006 15:13:37 GMT
Greetings peasants! I would wish yer all a Merry Christmas but I don't wish yer that at all. I hope yer all have a miserable time and get food poisoning! After the way they've been treating me like a slave over this past year why should I be t'only one to suffer? They really have no idea I'm only meant to do 20 episodes a year while still being the highest paid. They won't even let me belt the peasant. Apparently he's whined to them whacking him round t'head and verbally abusing him is against his human rights. What rights? He's a peasant! He has no rights! They should never have made me hand over 0.0000000000001% of me business. He's got ideas above his station. Little runt. I'll have him. Yer see if I don't. And not in THAT way neither. I'll take Pearly's advice and look for a pea. Can always blame David Platt.  Till next time! Queen Reet |
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Post by valda on Dec 23, 2006 20:28:25 GMT
R.O.F.L long live Queen Reet  thank you you,ve cheered me up Patsy have a K. |
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Dec 24, 2006 21:03:44 GMT
Ta, Valda.  Poor Reet. She must be really knackered after all this work. She's just not used to it. Patsy |
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Dec 25, 2006 22:46:12 GMT
Greetings peasants!
Me New Year's resolution is to kill the peasant as slowly and as painfully as possible. Perhaps I'll sing to him. He'll hate that. Know what he got me for Christmas? Did he buy me 20 crates of vodka like I wanted? Did he hell! It were several jars of wrinkle cream. Reckons he probably wasted his money but at me time of life I need all the help I can get! Little runt. Well I threw 'em right back at him. Bullseye on his bald little head every time! I haven't lost me touch. ;D Tomorrow, as they say, is payback time in spades. He knew what hit him today but he won't for the rest of his life.
Till next time!
Queen Reet
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Post by sallywebster on Dec 25, 2006 22:51:46 GMT
Merry Christmas, Queen Reet! Shame peasant stopped yer singing tonight, I was quite looking forward to it, chuck.
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Post by pearly queen on Dec 26, 2006 11:00:58 GMT
Jez - you can't expect Queen Reet to go to a cold church on Christmas Day and sing carols, not when she can hold court in a nice warm pub with hot and cold running vodka.
A quick blast of 'Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer' wouldn't have done any harm and Norris will regret his plebian interfering.
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Dec 26, 2006 13:36:03 GMT
LOL! She went with Emily last year wearing thermal bloomers and soon regretted it when she found out there was no booze and she was expected to give some money on the collection plate.
How about
Norris the flamin' peasant
Had a very bloody nose
And if he ever grumbles
I'll stamp on his flamin' toes
Patsy
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Post by pearly queen on Dec 26, 2006 16:21:06 GMT
LOL!
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Post by sallywebster on Dec 26, 2006 17:40:58 GMT
LOL Patsy!
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Dec 26, 2006 19:48:15 GMT
Oh how I still wish they would make Reet like mine. All that lovely violence on Norris. She'd be lauded!
Patsy
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Post by jessi on Dec 26, 2006 20:20:19 GMT
Good stuff Patsy!
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Dec 29, 2006 14:44:55 GMT
Greetings peasants!
That's it. I shall have serious words with the powers that think they be when we go back. How dare they give Anne Kirkbride more money than yers truly! I do more than she does! I'm the star! Denying me all that cash is against me human rights. I'll go to the European court of whatsit and sue! No win no fee and win no fee basis naturally. They can't do this to a megastar! There they are, cutting everyone wages while giving her what they've taken from mine. They'll be giving her me dressing room next and shoving me, the greatest redhead to ever live, in a cupboard! I know they're trying to make me quit. All this extra work and now giving me paupers wages. No one tries to get rid of Reet Littlewood-Fairclough-Sullivan without a fight and they only have to ask the peasant how low I can go.
Gotta go now. The peasant is complaining about me sitting on his head as I write this and saying he can't breath. Rubbish! If I stopped him breathing, no matter how tempting it is, I'd lose all me fun and I can't have that, can I?
Till next time!
Queen Reet
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Post by sallywebster on Dec 29, 2006 16:35:37 GMT
LOL! Another excellent entry Queen Reet!
Well yer are lucky to have t'dressing room int first place as really it should be Ken Barlows!
Happy voddy supping!
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Dec 29, 2006 16:37:30 GMT
LOL! And Ken Barlow should have the most money!
Patsy
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Post by sallywebster on Dec 29, 2006 16:56:02 GMT
Yes indeed.
So Reet yer want to be grateful that yer so well off, lady!
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Dec 29, 2006 20:46:53 GMT
Careful, Jezziekins. You know what she's like when she's riled. You could become the next Norris!  Patsy |
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Post by Admin on Dec 30, 2006 2:15:22 GMT
LOLOLOL. This thread is the funniest thing I've read in ages. Keep it up all of you. |
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Dec 30, 2006 13:05:51 GMT
Greetings peasants!
So Mike Baldwin got an MBE eh? How can they give one to someone who's dead? I knew Labour were out of touch but this is ridiculous. What about me? I'm a good mega rich capitalist who treats their employee like summat scraped off the bottom of me shoe while they take a load of me hard-earned widow's cash as tax. I've more than earned one! They wouldn't be able to have their freebie holidays without me taxes! I should be Dame Queen Reet by now. The world is plotting against me. I need summat to vent me frustration. NORRIS!!!!!!
Till next time!
(Still) Queen Reet
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Post by sallywebster on Dec 30, 2006 13:31:58 GMT
LOL! I said in the other thread that yer deserved one Reet - never mind a MBE, OBE or CBE - Dame Rita Littlewood Fairclough Sullivan yer should be, chuck!
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Dec 30, 2006 13:44:18 GMT
You won't get in her will like that. Patsy |
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thank you you,ve cheered me up Patsy have a K.
Poor Reet. She must be really knackered after all this work. She's just not used to it.
