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Post by RitaLittlewood on Feb 22, 2014 21:30:09 GMT
Greetings peasants!
Yes, it's me, Reet Littlewood-Fairclough-Sullivan-Tanner and I'm having a celebration - woooo! I've got rid of that useless lump them wot think they run the place forced me to wed. I weren't crying cos of them things he said about me before he beggered off to restart Brookside with Sheila Grant. It weren't even cos he kept saying her age. When yer 6 million and 40, yer come to expect everyone will be younger. No, it were because that snivelly runt who should've stayed in t'gutter ran off with the tenner I lent him to get us some chips! That REALLY hurt! I'll never see me cash ever again. *sob* Anyroadup, come and join me freedom party in t'Rovers. Drinks are on the peasant and if yer annoy me I'll sing to yer.
Till next time!
Empress Reet MBE
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Aug 8, 2014 2:07:34 GMT
Greetings peasants!
Tis I, Empress Reet Queen of t'Street back with another entry in me blog.
Yer favourite redhead has been celebrating finally gerring rid of that useless sponger them what think are in charge forced me to wed or they'd cut off my voddy. They know I'll die without it. Mean bastards! Anyroadup, me bank account is delirious an' all despite being a few quid down. Not for long though. I'm gonna let me adoring fans into a little secret. When that useless twerp were pushed back into me life, I took out an insurance policy on him to protect me in case owt happened. Well when yer 6 million and 40 yer need all t'help yer can get. No amount of cash can ever replace a loved one but it has a damn good try! I'm off for some retail therapy. Always looked good in black....
Till next time!
Empress Reet Littlewood-Fairclough-Sullivan-Tanner MBE
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Post by CG Wendy on Aug 22, 2014 15:47:37 GMT
LOL love it Pats. Soon to be Empress Reet-Littlewood-Fairclough-Sullivan-Tanner-Littlewood MBE Or maybe next year she`ll tack on a Cole at the end. Norris wants to jump the old soaks bones so bad.  |
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Aug 22, 2014 16:52:33 GMT
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!! Not the peasant! Not even she's THAT desperate.  |
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Post by CG Wendy on Aug 22, 2014 17:22:50 GMT
Ah but deep down ole Doris is a sponger far worse than Dennis ever was Pats.
Case in point....'Dirks' ex Angela. She was rolling in money and ole Doris could smell it a mile off. I doubt very much if he genuinely loved her.
Ole Doris weaseled his way in to get half of the Kabin he paid nowt for (yes I know that the phrase is wheedled, but this is ole Doris we`re talking about LOL.) He also gets a house off Emily practically gift wrapped.
So in the sponger stakes ole Doris leaves Dennis in the dust.
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Jan 1, 2015 18:55:06 GMT
Happy Reet Year peasants! Tis I, the greatest redhead to ever live revelling in the celebration of me being in Ritanation Street for 50 years. Course it's really only 42 but they decided to include one episode in 1964 so I demanded they paid me for the intervening 8 years I were getting adoration elsewhere. Yer can imagine their response so I threatened to sing which did t'trick! They also offered me 8 years worth of voddy on condition I never sing again ever. Flamin' cheek! What a dilemma an' all. Well what's a 6 million and 38 year old sex goddess meant to do? I took the voddy and will sing when I need some more. I just know yer all enjoyed seeing me for an hour last night. Should've been longer since it were only about 42 mins when yer take the ads out. If they were all selling me album I wouldn't mind but the bastards won't let me promote it so it'll never come out and make me more zillions! Never mind Jose Mourinho thinking there's a conspiracy against Chelski. There's a conspiracy to keep me and cash apart by them what they think run Ritanation Street! Till Next time! Empress Reet Littlewood-Fairclough-Sullivan (decided to drop the Tanner since he were poor and not worthy of me sexy body) |
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Jan 24, 2015 16:45:58 GMT
Greetings peanuts! Tis I, the greatest redhead to ever live standing by the side of the road, skirt hitched up to me bloomers and thumb out trying to hitch a lift home since they reckon I were over the drink drive limit so took away me licence. Never! *hic* I'm as sober as Gazza I'll have yer know. *hic* Me lawyer reckoned he could get me off if I denied it so I were forced against pain of death to part with me cash. *hic* Mind, I were happy to claim being manhandled by that young copper in the hope when it came to trial, he'd demonstrate on me person where he put his hands. Well it dragged on for months, me lawyers bill up to a whopping £3.75 so I ended up forcing t'issue. He assured me if I sang in court I'd gerroff, so I lubricated me tonsils accordingly after he supplied me voddy. Instead I got almost thrown in jail for contempt of court and being drunk and disorderly while t'judge increased me fine! *hic* I'll get that £3.75 me lawyer swindled out of me back for his bad advice even if I have t threaten to sleep with him. Cos no one's offered me a lift to and from Ritanation Street for the next billion or so years it'll be on air, it were suggested I catch a bus. Damn cheek! Only peasants like yer lot do that, not megastars like wot I am. Taxis cost more than me lawyer and megastars don't walk either. So it may be a while since I can get back onscreen. I'll know yer'll all miss me and set up a petition to get me licence back. Taking it off a 6 million and 38 year old lady is ageism at its worst! They're only jealous cos I'm the megastar of Ritanation Street and trying to get me to quit. Told yer in me last post there were a conspiracy. *hic* Till next time! Empress Reet Littlewood-Fairclough-Sullivan |
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Aug 29, 2015 12:49:26 GMT
Greetings peasants!
Tis I, the much ADORED redhead and greatest singer to ever be immortal. I know yer've all just missed me like crazy and are anxious to know what I;ve been up to since I last deigned to lower meself and communicate with those I scraped off me shoe. I've been ever so busy since me last entry guzzling me beloved voddy, getting rid of Jenny Bradley, arranging an 'accident' for Dopey Dennis Tanner so I can cash in that lovely insurance policy, getting me exercise walloping the peasant and counting me fan mail. I couldn't get past no letters so kept demanding a recount! Anyroadup I've heard rumours Audrey and Ken are going to get together. We'll now be bezzie mates so I'll make sure she buys all the drinks while this storyline lasts and they give me another one. If she wants me advice on Ken do I tell her the truth which is why Deirdre went to Mike Baldwin and me to Len? I still can't stand the sight of mushrooms! Or do I tell her he's into tantric sex to give him a chance to read War and Peace then have her fall out with me and let me dehydrate? What a dilemma!
Till next time!
Empress Reet-Littlewood-Fairclough-Sullivan MBE
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