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Post by pearly queen on Dec 30, 2006 19:29:33 GMT
Reet - settle for nothing less than 'Empress'.
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Post by sallywebster on Dec 30, 2006 20:14:02 GMT
You won't get in her will like that.  Patsy Who is she gonna leave her dosh to when she snuffs it then - not her peasant surely  |
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Dec 30, 2006 21:26:14 GMT
LOL Pearly! As she likes cruising, she can be Empress of the Seas. It's the name of a ship and small enough so she won't exhaust herself getting around. Although if Godmother Gloria Estefan is on board I can imagine a punch up for the singing rights.  But Jezziekins, you know she's immortal! Patsy |
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Dec 31, 2006 15:30:53 GMT
Greetings peasants of the New Year's Eve!
Empress Reet Littlewood-Fairclough-Sullivan here (pealy you've saved yourself a clouting for that suggestion) getting into the spirit for the festivities. That's spirit as in vodka. I forced the peasant to make a quick trip to France and bring me back crates of the stuff. He whined he can't drive and it's a bit difficult going by bus. He's got arms and legs hasn't he? He walk and can carry them! So I hit him with the Christmas tree and threatened to do it again if he disobeyed me orders. He were only to happy to go then. That were yesterday. Time's gerring on and there's still no sign. I'm rapidly dehydrating here so be better get a shift on or I'll make sure he pays when he does eventually show his weasel face.
I don't wish you all a Happy New Year cos I know just seeing me on t'telly will make it a happy new year for yer all every day of it! Now where's that vodka? I know I still had some cases round here somewhere. If that little runt's hidden it to spoil me fun I'll murder him several times over!
Till next time!
Empress Reet
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Post by pearly queen on Jan 4, 2007 17:47:49 GMT
Happy New Year, Empress Reet.
Try not to overdo it in 2007 eh, love? It's very tiresome when the grimy proles insist on coming into your emporium to buy their tedious tabloids and TV guides.
Good job none of them seem to have heard of the T'Internet or green issues - this paperless online mularkey may take off one of these days. (I predict you will be selling sherbert lemons on ebay by the end of the year). Something to think about - otherwise, like in ye olde joke, your 'paper shop' might blow away.
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Jan 5, 2007 23:15:15 GMT
LOL! I'm sure she'll have something to say about that. Patsy |
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Jan 6, 2007 20:24:36 GMT
Greetings peasants!
Like the new coat? It's a tribute to me last hubby Sir Lancelot. I miss me shiny mac. I still haven't forgiven the peasant for putting it out for t'binmen full of rubbish. He thought it were a bin liner! I told him he should have been in it - head first! Know what he had the nerve to asnwer back? It's big enough. So were the jar of aniseed balls I clouted him round t'head with for that remark.
Yer'd all have noticed I were very chipper yesterday. That were because the peasant finally came up trumps with me booze after ending up at t'cash and carry so I could finally celebrate New Year, even though it were two days late.
Pearly dear, if yer after a share of me will by giving me all these ideas think again. I'll gladly have the ideas though. Wanna peasant instead?
Till next time!
Empress Reet
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Post by pearly queen on Jan 18, 2007 22:52:20 GMT
Pearly dear, if yer after a share of me will by giving me all these ideas think again. I'll gladly have the ideas though. Wanna peasant instead? What use have I got for a bequest of cardboard suitcase full of bags of henna and pre-war banknotes? You can keep your loot, Reet - you might need it for the legal fees. When Norris realises that they abolished the feudal system in Weatherfield in 1982, he might object to his recent serfdom and go to one of those No Claim No Fee merchants crying about abuse and inujury at your noble hands. . |
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Jan 19, 2007 14:26:52 GMT
LMAO! She won't like that, Pearly. You could be on her hit list now. Beware low-flying jars of aniseed balls. Patsy |
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Post by pearly queen on Jan 19, 2007 15:20:56 GMT
Blimey - wouldn't wanna make an enemy of the Regal Redhead! Better grovel and beg forgiveness next time I see her.
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Jan 19, 2007 17:20:33 GMT
LOL! Well you know how she treats anyone she considers she's scraped off her shoe. You may end up needing private health insurance.
Patsy
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Jan 23, 2007 13:16:14 GMT
Greetings peasants! Tis I. What do yer mean who? I know yer haven't forgotten me. I'm unforgettable! Well I did have a good time spending the winnings after the peasant cheated. We did buy a drink for Roy's team but I made damn sure it came out of his pocket. What he didn't realise when I swiped the cash from his hands were I also pinched his wallet. There's no end to me talents. Now they've made me work again and I'm not happy. All cos that daft handmaiden of mine wants to track down old friends from school. He's got no friends. He thinks me and Emily are but we can't stand him. She only puts up with him for t'rent and I do because he's me handmaiden. I'm a lady of leisure, which is summat them in charge seem to have forgotten, so can't be expected to work. What do they think I am? I'm a lady of leisure and me only work should be to get meself a new rich, soon-to-be-dead hubby, marry him then bury him! That's me job and it's high time them writers were reminded I don't sing in public and need me millions! Till next time! Empress Reet |
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Post by valda on Jan 23, 2007 13:32:26 GMT
LOL long live Empress Reet  , |
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Jan 23, 2007 21:35:33 GMT
She's obviously trying to make the point she's a lady of leisure so repeated herself. LOL!
Patsy
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Feb 1, 2007 22:24:26 GMT
Greeting peasants! I've been enjoying me lovely rest from all that work they're making me do while counting me wages. I'm sure I'm a penny short this month. I'll have words. They can't do me out of me cash! Peasant is still desperately trying to prove he were liked at school. He's contacted everyone in his class and wonders why none of 'em have replied. I always knew he were a moron. I had to laugh today when I were reading t'papers. According to summat called the Daily Star I'm going to be drunk all the time. What's new? I've been drunk all me life! When I were born I were fed neat vodka instead of milk. I always said them writers were daft but they're more daft than I gave 'em all credit for. Yer know they wanted me to do high kicks. Me? I told that producer megastars don't do high kicks unless it's violently motivated like what I do on the peasant and no amount of money would make me strain meself. Know what he did? Offered me free vodka for the rest of me days! Now I just need another long unexplained absence to recover from that an' all. Uh-oh. The peasant is summoning me. He knows better than to do that. Obviously is a masochist which suits me to a tee! Yer know he keeps calling me sadistic. As if, someone of me class and high breeding would lower meself. I just enjoy torturing the little swine. But then so would Emily if only she'd let herself go and borrow me whip. I think I'll have a drink first. Now what did I do with that crate of vodka I got this morning from that lovely producer? Till next time! Empress Reet |
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Post by valda on Feb 1, 2007 22:48:36 GMT
ROFL nice one Emperess Reet |
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Post by pearly queen on Feb 3, 2007 23:46:32 GMT
But then so would Emily if only she'd let herself go and borrow me whip. Empress Reet If Emily stopped putting bromide in his tea we'd all need a whip! She's keeping him nicely under control for now. |
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Feb 3, 2007 23:49:52 GMT
LMAO! For now is right.
Patsy
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Feb 20, 2007 22:47:53 GMT
Greetings peasants!
Flying visit between pub crawls with Doreen. Eee I like having her around. Not only does she hate the peasant, but she also buys the drinks! Couldn't ask for a better reunion. ;D Course the peasant moans about me having the odd lie in and actually having to work. That's what he's for! I can't be expected to skivvy in the shop when there's the offer of free booze now, can I? Besides, I've run that place 34 years and he's been under me feet just 7. I've earned a rest or hundred. He thinks I'm hungover. As if! Yer'd think he'd know me well enough by now to know I never get hangovers. I do me award winning acting so he don't get that nose of his twitching and twigs I've pulled. I haven't got time to explain to him with a jar of toffee whirls when there's a geriatric in me bed desperate for me body who I'm too busy pumping. For information about his bank balance and living relatives! Blimey, yer really are a mucky mind lot of fans. Not that I wouldn't love to explain - several times over. But more pressing matter await.
Gotta go. We're off to the Darby and Joan club again tonight so that should be fun with all them rich, old men to lure to t'altar.
Till next time!
Empress Reet
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Post by valda on Feb 20, 2007 23:33:14 GMT
never mind explaining the toffee whirls to the Peasent Empress Reet hit him with the jar for being so gormless to think Sally fancied him on Valentines day ;p lol .
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Feb 20, 2007 23:36:33 GMT
LOL! I suppose she's grateful he didn't think it was her. Patsy |
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Post by valda on Feb 22, 2007 2:01:20 GMT
omg it is a good job the peasent never thought it was her or he,d be after the other half of the shop |
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Feb 25, 2007 14:28:25 GMT
Well the other 99.999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% anyway. Patsy |
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Post by sallywebster on Feb 25, 2007 22:49:27 GMT
Happy Birthday, Queen Reet. Yer seemed pleased with what the peasant got yer.
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Feb 25, 2007 22:57:00 GMT
Was it 50 cases of voddy?
Patsy
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