|
|
Post by sallywebster on Feb 25, 2007 22:57:21 GMT
Nah. She should be so lucky!
|
|
|
|
Post by RitaLittlewood on Feb 25, 2007 22:58:32 GMT
LOL! Must have been disappointed then.
Patsy
|
|
|
|
Post by sallywebster on Mar 5, 2007 21:35:02 GMT
Eee Reet, yer kissed the peasant tonight!  |
|
|
|
Post by RitaLittlewood on Mar 17, 2007 17:58:55 GMT
Greetings peasants!
Tis I, the greatest redhead to ever live and yer better not have forgotten who I am or I'll belt yer!
Thank yer Jez for reminding me of that dreadful trauma(!) If I weren't too bone idle to go to yer house I'd belt yer for that.
Oh it were awful and I can't believe those daft writers had me do it on pain of a salary cut! How mean can yer get? I weren't sober by any means. I made sure I had quite a few gallons of vodka first then several hundred more to wash the taste of his skin off me lips and stop me feeling sick. I've been in bed recovering every since and I'm still not right. The things I put meself through for money. Why can't they just write me a nice millionaire to wed and grieve over while counting me inheritance? It's a much easier life.
Till next time!
Empress Reet
|
|
|
|
Post by sallywebster on Mar 17, 2007 18:00:52 GMT
Reet who? ;D LOL well yer going t'belt me anyway cos of t'peasant.  |
|
|
|
Post by RitaLittlewood on Mar 17, 2007 18:32:47 GMT
LMAO!
Patsy
|
|
|
|
Post by pearly queen on Jun 13, 2007 19:12:41 GMT
Too busy going out to play with Dentures Doreen to find time to update your blog to entertain your real friends? Hmm?
|
|
|
|
Post by RitaLittlewood on Jun 13, 2007 21:00:12 GMT
Greetings peasants and Pearly Queen!
I'm not going to apologise because I'm the greatest redhead to ever live so don't have to. I were just testing to see if any of yer missed me and I were right. Yer all ADORE me so it's high time them who think they run the show gave me a pay rise and less work. £6,000,000 a year should do it for 10 episodes at a push.
Ooh that Doreen. I know what they're doing. They've dumped her on me in the hope this will be t'last straw after all this rubbish they've been giving me so I'll quit. Well I've got news for them. I'm not going till I get me 6 million for beggar all work. That's the only way they'll get rid of me. I'm not likely to drop down dead cos I'm immortal. They haven't thought of that even though they think they're clever. Ha!
I desperately need a man. Me millions are dwindling fast seeing as Doreen's obviously been putting summat in me drink so I'll buy a few rounds. I'm a Megastar and Megastars don't buy the booze! In fact, Mesgastars don't pay for owt. That's what peasants are for. What's that Norris? Oh belt up before I do it for yer! Snivelling little runt. Better go and deal with him. I haven't had much fun for weeks with Doreen around to ruin me life.
Till next time!
Empress Reet
|
|
|
|
Post by RitaLittlewood on Jul 7, 2007 16:53:02 GMT
Greetings peasants! Yes it yers truly. What do yer mean who? Wanna belt? I'm holed up in me secret hidaway battling with them useless bosses about what's best for me. As if they know owt! I told 'em straight I refuse to go back to work till they get rid of that dreadful Doreen and give me t'only storyline I should ever have - wedding and burying a rich hubby! Flamin' 'eck. If they knew me at all I'd have had more husbands than Zsa Zsa Gabor be now since Ted kindly left me his millions. Well he did have a brain tumour and didn't know what he were doing. It in't me that's lonely so they have to concoct this rubbish to give me summat to do. It's me wads of fifties wanting new playmates in t'bank. Well they decided in their so-called wisdom I'm indispensable so only went and gave Doreen all me lines last week. As if that'd work. Everyone knows the only reason people still watch is to see me gorgeousness and magnificence grace the screen. Course they're so arrogant and believe their own self-importance. Thank goodness I'm nowt like that! They can do what they like. Still have to pay me even though I'm on strike. I've had to sacrifice the peasant (over a red hot barbecue only then he escaped and hot-arsed it back to Weatherfield) and have to do everything meself but as long as I get me own way it'll be worth it. The peasant can make it up to me later. Till next time! Empress Reet |
|
|
|
Post by sallywebster on Jul 7, 2007 19:15:54 GMT
So your still alive then, Reet! It was me who alerted everyone that Doreen had stolen yer lines this week. Bloody cheek of her - she is no good as a replacement for you. Bet she wont get paid as much as yer do though eh! Now hurry up and get back on screen!
|
|
|
|
Post by RitaLittlewood on Jul 7, 2007 19:40:27 GMT
Course she's still alive. She is immortal after all and has enough vodka supplies from her own distillery being pumped straight into her veins to be there years. LOL!
Patsy
|
|
|
|
Post by pearly queen on Jul 7, 2007 20:31:34 GMT
Have you ever considered getting in touch with Simon Cowell? He's loaded, he has no eye for talent whatsoever, but he has contacts: your version of Bring Me Sunshine could be hyped up the charts in a week. Or just cut to the chase and marry him. OK, not a great catch husband wise, his hair's a bit poncy, and he probably hides the key to the vodka cabinet, but beggars can't be chosers.
|
|
|
|
Post by sallywebster on Jul 7, 2007 20:35:38 GMT
Our Reet would soon put Simon Cowell in his place!
|
|
|
|
Post by RitaLittlewood on Jul 7, 2007 21:16:48 GMT
Perfect accidental death - strangled by his waistband!
Patsy
|
|
|
|
Post by sallywebster on Jul 7, 2007 21:18:09 GMT
Then she could get all his cash.
Hey maybe Reet should audition for the new series of X Factor - afterall there is no age limit so her being 6 billion shouldnt be a problem!
|
|
|
|
Post by RitaLittlewood on Jul 7, 2007 21:21:01 GMT
When's it start? She could be camped out now waiting for the auditions.
Patsy
|
|
|
|
Post by sallywebster on Jul 7, 2007 21:22:05 GMT
They have already been doing auditions around the country - no idea when they went to Manc. Hey maybe thats where Reet has gone!
|
|
|
|
Post by RitaLittlewood on Jul 7, 2007 21:44:04 GMT
Yeah but as Norris would have to carry her it could be at Land's End for all she cared.
Patsy
|
|
|
|
Post by RitaLittlewood on Jul 19, 2007 12:47:54 GMT
Greetings peasants!
Jez yer don't tell a megastar what to do. Do yer think I'm a common peasant? Cheeky whippersnapper. I know all about yer cash so if yer don't want me to come and sit on yer till yer agree to hand it all over, belt up!
Well, common folk lower down the pecking order than summat scraped off me shoe, I'm sat here pondering me future. Those dozy writers have GOT to go! Not content with making me miss out on the millions belonging to Mike Baldwin, Fred Elliott and Paul Connor they've now in their so-called wisdom given that witch Cilla the millionaire who should be mine be rights while forcing me to snog the peasant! The only person who ever kisses him willingly is himself. This is the second time they'll have tried to make me out to love the little runt and also that he'll have proposed. Don't they realise as he's poor he in't me type? Why do they keep doing this to me? I'm a Megastar and they're all nobodies! I'll sue them for every penny they've got if they dare make me snog him. I don't want to catch owt ta very much and there's no vaccine against catching peasantitis.
Till next time!
Empress Reet who only weds zillionaires as it's in her contract!
|
|
|
|
Post by sallywebster on Jul 19, 2007 19:46:23 GMT
Greetings peasants! Jez yer don't tell a megastar what to do. I just did!  Oh well, Paul Connor was too good for yer anyway, yer'' have to turn Carla lesbian if yer want to get yer hands on her cash. ;D |
|
|
|
Post by pearly queen on Jul 19, 2007 20:27:44 GMT
Oh well, Paul Connor was too good for yer anyway, yer'' have to turn Carla lesbian if yer want to get yer hands on her cash. ;D And if you and Carla let Dev watch neither of you will ever be short of stale bread and wilted flowers. |
|
|
|
Post by RitaLittlewood on Jul 20, 2007 10:44:44 GMT
LMAO! I'm sure Dev would love to watch Carla. But Reet?  Patsy |
|
|
|
Post by RitaLittlewood on Aug 3, 2007 21:08:04 GMT
Greetings peasants!
I know I haven't been about much lately and yer all missing me like crazy seeing as I'm the only reason yer watch. But can yer blame me with the rubbish I, the greatest redhead to ever life and megastar to boot, keep being given? Never fear, fans of greatness, I shall be there to brighten yer dull little lives on soon enough. I only deigned to get outta me pit now cos I heard tell there were a gullible fella about to descend on t'cobbles and I have to give him t'once over, don't I? After all it could be a match made in heaven - me and his cash! I'll do owt to get outta the peasant wanting a match made in hell. If he does propose I'll agree on one condition - I wear the trousers (well I do anyway as they're surgically attached), he keeps out me bloomers drawer (he always were a bit pervy) and lets me beat him up to five hundred times a day with no complaining. Okay that's three but it's bound to work making him change his mind. I may be 6 million and 27 but I'm not daft.
Right back to me lovely warm pit after seven gallons of vodka before I get dehydrated after a night with no booze and have sweet dreams of wads of cash.
Till next time!
Empress Reet
|
|
|
|
Post by RitaLittlewood on Aug 16, 2007 21:50:08 GMT
Greetings peasants!
Oi! Yer ignoring me, the greatest redhead to ever live, or what? Or have yer forgotten all about this greatness since I've been skiving off?
That lot what think they're in charge really are a full stop short of a script. They fall for me ill act every single time. I'm not an award winning Megastar for nowt, yer know. Well truth be told I am ill. Every time t'latest script drops through me letterbox and I read what daft thing they expect greatness such as me to do for me £260,000 paupers wages which makes me rush straight to the toilet and repaint it. So I ring 'em up claiming to be at death's door making 'em drag that inane Doreen in to do me lines. Tell me yer noticed and are missing me or I'll make yer suffer in more ways than even the peasant dreams of! Then they dragged me back on pain of suspended wages, reckoned I'd been on me hols even though I'm too tightfisted to pay to go alone unless there's the chance of a zillionaire, and forced me to pay for the drinks! "I've been unwell!" I yelled at them idiots while clouting them round t'head. with t'toilet paper - I mean, script. Well the peasant were nowhere to be seen as per. I'll get the little weasel for spoiling me fun.
I'm off to have a nice rest now. I've more than earned it after all of four minutes work.
Till next time!
Empress Reet
|
|
|
|
Post by amyablume on Aug 16, 2007 21:58:05 GMT
Dearest Reet, Of course we miss you! We are so cowed by your presence that we have naught to say to your grand redheadship! |
|
