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Post by RitaLittlewood on Aug 16, 2007 22:01:51 GMT
LOL! Oh she'll like that. You may end up in the will!
Patsy
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Post by amyablume on Aug 17, 2007 15:04:41 GMT
Well Reet isn't the only gold digger around...
oops did I say that out loud? ;D
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Aug 17, 2007 15:07:22 GMT
LOL! You're out of the will now.
Patsy
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Post by amyablume on Aug 17, 2007 15:09:37 GMT
Damn!
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Aug 17, 2007 15:38:05 GMT
You and your big gob. You need to get into her good books again. LOL!
Patsy
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Aug 29, 2007 20:49:03 GMT
Greetings peasants! Yes I'm back but chances are I'll have another holiday before me annual cruise what they ought to have sent me on last year. Whaddya mean I'm always away? I think after 5 episodes this year I've more than earned a rest or hundred so shurrup yer ignorant lot! I had words with them what think they're in charge about constantly being tied to the peasant. No not bondage! Mucky minded lot. I'm not desperate! He may be but then he'd sleep with a lamppost if it winked at him just to prove he's not gay. Anyroadup they know better now than to make me suffer the peasant too often, especially in me free time when I should be out there snaring me latest bank account or they'll end up dangling again from the roof by their necks. For some reason they didn't like it and neither did the peasant when I practiced on him. Miserable lot! They're getting personal attention from yers truly which is more than most do seeing as I avoid all yer peasants like the plague. What's there not to enjoy? ;D Voddy quick! The peasant nearly made me sick with all that pong he were wearing. I told him he must have no sense of smell. He reckoned he used to before I started bopping him on the nose. So I hit him on the nose for even daring to suggest I would do such a thing! He better not have designs on me lusciousness that's all I can say or I'll give him proposal - right off the top of Blackpool Tower! I've only got panda eyes for that George. He looks like he's worth a bob or zillion and can Duty Free me any time.  Till next time! Empress Reet |
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Post by amyablume on Aug 29, 2007 20:57:28 GMT
I'm trying not to have a mental image of what it means to be had duty free... does the wig stay on?
*ducks*
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Aug 29, 2007 21:02:07 GMT
 Patsy |
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Post by amyablume on Aug 29, 2007 21:09:04 GMT
I feel as though i've got to hide from Reet now... surely she doenst' have enough cash for a plane to LA?  |
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Aug 29, 2007 21:10:56 GMT
LOL! She's got enough cash to buy LA! Flee as fast as you can!
Patsy
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Post by pearly queen on Sept 6, 2007 18:29:10 GMT
Reet - have you now fully recovered from the indignity of being proposed at in a cheap and seedy pizza joint, run by a slag? It would take more than a frozen tiramisu to loosen your drawers - he should know that by now.
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Sept 6, 2007 18:40:30 GMT
LMAO! Maybe he tried to buy her a quadruple vodka but then she's anyone's as long as they have millions.
Patsy
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Post by amyablume on Sept 6, 2007 19:06:54 GMT
Doesnt he realize that his proposal could lower her market value just by association? |
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Sept 6, 2007 20:14:08 GMT
Yeah and you don't get much for 1p these days. Patsy |
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Sept 21, 2007 20:37:57 GMT
Greetings peasants!
Here I am aboard the QE2 currently in peasantland so the peasant and yer lot ought to fit in perfectly. I'd heard there'd be loads of retired ex-captains on this trip and, as they're bound to have a few bob, decided to stowaway to snare one once I'd successfully escaped that irritating moron them daft writers forced me to give 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% of me business to on pain of a pay cut. Yer don't honestly think I'm gonna pay, do yer? Yer dafter than I gave yer credit for if yer did. There's that many bigwigs and peasants aboard no one's noticed me yet. In't Jimmy Savile rich? I suppose in his case I can be extremely desperate. Anyway I got this idea after doing t'same thing on Aurora in 2005. No shinneying down mooring ropes this time though! Yer have no idea how much in heaven I am. No I'm not dead! I wish yer'd stop yer wishful thinking. Yer beginning to sound like the peasant! Yer know yer all adore me really like he does and as yer all should cos I'm gorgeous and the greatest. There's free booze galore on this with one celebration after another. Course someone really should tell them they can't count. Last time I were on this ship she were only 26. Now 12 years on that makes 38 not 40. No wonder the ship broke down t'other week. If anyone aged me up from me 6 million and 27 I'd be upset an' all!
Anyroadup I know yer've all been missing me again. And I bet yer were all disappointed I didn't chuck me tiramisu over that balding little runt for gerring ideas above his station and thinking I'd let him anywhere near this gorgeousness. Waste that booze even if it were only in the biscuit??? Do yer think I'm still suffering t'effects of the carbon monoxide? Booze is booze and all the more delicious when someone else pays. I made sure we had bottles of everything in Leanne's dreadful restaurant, with me drinking most of it naturally. I needed summat to help me through the forthcoming trauma. I told him I knew it were coming and I weren't lying. I read it in the paper. I just made him get to the point after the wine cellar had run dry. No point staying after, is there? I ain't having owt to do even kissing-wise with someone who reminds me of Gilroy, ta very much. Been there, done that, were violently ill afterwards. If I hadn't got away when I did I'd have ended up enjoying meself far too much while getting it into his head to stop perving over me (which were already bringing tears to his eyes) until I may have killed the little runt and all me fun stopped. Snaring a rich nob on this cruise or walloping Norris? Tricky one. But cash always comes first. If I don't add another bank account to me collection by Sunday when we get back to the other peasantland we started from last Saturday THEN I'll make sure he suffers. Everything's his fault yer know and I make sure he knows it an' all.
Back to the booze. There's fireworks tonight and we don't leave till 3am thanks to the tides on the River Peasant which gives me plenty of time to wake up in t'morning after getting me lips all over a nice fat nob. A rich fella! Yer really ARE a mucky minded lot of peasants.
Till next time!
Empress Reet
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Post by amyablume on Sept 22, 2007 0:26:59 GMT
LOL!
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Sept 22, 2007 11:19:46 GMT
Thought you'd lke that.  Course now you know the real reason Lizzie didn't go faster than 27.2 knots in that speed run Thursday night - the weight of Reet's wig, sparkly jumpers, shiny mac and tents slowed her down! Patsy |
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Post by pearly queen on Sept 26, 2007 10:28:57 GMT
They were also using her fishnet tights to trawl for tuna.
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Sept 26, 2007 10:48:51 GMT
LMAO! Probably caught a lot in them as well.
Patsy
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Sept 30, 2007 19:02:49 GMT
Greetings peasants!
I crawled out me pit without t'offer of a squillion quid because I heard yer were all lauding someone called Barbara Knox today cos it's meant to be her birthday rather than yers truly and me face matched a shade of red I had yonks ago. So after the peasant kindly agreed to let me use me own computer after I asked him nicely with me arm round his throat, I decided to find out if the rumour were true. Who the heck is this Barbara Knox? What's she do? Has she had two rich dead hubbies? Has she got an annoying peasant to keep her amused by walloping him? Is she as sexy and gorgeous as yers truly? Does she do whatever she does as much as me? Does she deign to talk to peasants like what I do? It's me what yer should all be living and breathing twenty four hours a day, not someone no one's even heard of! What's wrong with yer lot these days? Anyone'd think yer'd gone off me after I only graced yer with me presence six times this year. They're overworking me! What d'yer expect? I go in for seven? Yer trying to kill me off even though I'm immortal? Me contract states two eps a year for £10 million. Owt wrong with that? Oh why am I defending meself to yer? Yer all peasants!
Forget this Barbara Knox woman and get back to worshipping me or yer'll all be sorry!
Till next time!
Empress Reet (who's far sexier and superior to that whatsherface)
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Post by sallywebster on Sept 30, 2007 19:09:50 GMT
Greetings peasants! I crawled out me pit without t'offer of a squillion quid because I heard yer were all lauding someone called Barbara Knox today cos it's meant to be her birthday rather than yers truly and me face matched a shade of red I had yonks ago. So after the peasant kindly agreed to let me use me own computer after I asked him nicely with me arm round his throat, I decided to find out if the rumour were true. Who the heck is this Barbara Knox? What's she do? Has she had two rich dead hubbies? Has she got an annoying peasant to keep her amused by walloping him? Is she as sexy and gorgeous as yers truly? Does she do whatever she does as much as me? Does she deign to talk to peasants like what I do? It's me what yer should all be living and breathing twenty four hours a day, not someone no one's even heard of! What's wrong with yer lot these days? Anyone'd think yer'd gone off me after I only graced yer with me presence six times this year. They're overworking me! What d'yer expect? I go in for seven? Yer trying to kill me off even though I'm immortal? Me contract states two eps a year for £10 million. Owt wrong with that? Oh why am I defending meself to yer? Yer all peasants! Forget this Barbara Knox woman and get back to worshipping me or yer'll all be sorry! Till next time! Empress Reet (who's far sexier and superior to that whatsherface) ROFLOL! Very good Pats. ;D Barbara is a talented actress, Queen Reet! |
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Sept 30, 2007 19:17:32 GMT
I couldn't resist. It's my birthday pressie to Barbara and I guessed she would prefer me not to sing to her. After all we know Reet thinks she's above everyone else and that would include the wonderful Barbara! ;D 'Queen Reet'  You're asking for trouble there, Jezziekins. Patsy |
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Post by amyablume on Oct 1, 2007 15:59:15 GMT
Doesnt this set a new record for being competative when you're competative with yourself? I mean yerself? |
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Oct 1, 2007 16:05:44 GMT
LOL! I'll have yer talking northern by the time we get back on Vision. Reet would probably whack Barbara around the head given half a chance which would make for interesting TV. Patsy |
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Post by RitaLittlewood on Oct 20, 2007 8:28:31 GMT
Greetings peasants! Well didn't I tell yer lot of undesirables I me last entry me face matched a shade of red I had yonks ago? Yep. Alan Bradley auburn. Eee, I were at me best back then. I could snot for England. Anyroadup, what do yer all think of me latest new look? Don't I just look fabulous, more sexy than ever and the best looking woman in t'show? I heard tell people were reckoning I'd had a facelift or botox. As if I, the greatest redhead to ever live, would cough up for summat like that. They're making super strength Polyfilla so I persuaded the peasant by sitting on him to buy me several crates. That stuff works miracles! Look at me. Overnight I looked 5 million years younger. I got Bill Webster to do the scaffolding as I trust him around me person more than that Jason Grimshaw. For some reason he were reluctant at first till I threatened to sleep with him then he were more than willing to help an old friend for nowt. Course the peasant has to get more crates. For some reason it don't last as long now they improved it. Them writers don't know me at all. A bottle of Merlot? Do they think I'm cheap even though I can get 3 bottles for the price of one of vodka? Merlot is so commom and just the sort of thing yer lot and that peasant'd hurl down yer necks. Do they think I'm common an' all? I must have words yet again. Ah here comes Bill with his scaffolding again. A 6 million and 27 year old girl has to look her best for her zillions of fans! ;D Till next time! Empress Reet |
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Course now you know the real reason Lizzie didn't go faster than 27.2 knots in that speed run Thursday night - the weight of Reet's wig, sparkly jumpers, shiny mac and tents slowed her down! 
You're asking for trouble there, Jezziekins.